Chapter 37

"Mr. Skywalker, I'm afraid Yoda…"

…………………………………..

"Stop, stop, stop! Quit reading the script!"

"Why?"

"It's disgusting! I'm reading ahead here and I think I was less disturbed watching Saw 2!"

"Hey, we're just reading what he wrote. Is it really that bad?"

"We can't air this! The FCC will be on me so quick it'll make my head spin."

"Well we can't take it out completely. How about we edit it? You know, show little splices of the cop explaining what happened."

"Brilliant! Funny without having to raise the rating of the story! Johnson! Start editing!"

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Exit script reading

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"It all started after the brawl in the pool lounge. The cops were called after he knocked a man out with an 8 ball…"

"…he started running down 4th Avenue, of course he still had the women's wig and it was still on fire…."

"…and that caused a 7-car pileup on the highway. No surprise, I mean he hit that gas truck going at least 90 miles an hour…"

"…supposedly he only threatened the baby rabbits, but we're still not clear on that…"

"…surprisingly, the blind guy did get out safely…"

"…COMPLETLEY demolished the U2 concert…"

"…bit my nose…."

"…apparently he was armed when Harrison approached him…"

"…28 of us went in to stop him, 6 of us came out…"

"…naked, completely naked…"

"As of now, we have no idea where he is," the cop finished.

Anakin stood and stared in disbelief, "I'm going to kill him. There's no other way."

"Anakin! That's crazy!" yelled Obi Wan, "We have to FIND him first. Weren't you listening?"

"I have to go pick Luke up from practice. When I come back, we'll sort this out," said Anakin, heading out the door.

……………………………..

Yoda was panicked. He darted behind bushes and trees desperately searching for a hideout. Suddenly, over the horizon, Yoda saw it. The perfect hideout was right in front of him.

"Islands of Adventure!" Yoda exclaimed. He could blend in with the crowd and hide out for years.

"GOTCHA!" a cop grabbed Yoda by the arm and threw him on the ground.

"But, but I was about to-"

"Shut up! Do you really think the author would hide you in a theme park he was at a month and a half ago? That is so corny," said the cop, handcuffing Yoda.

……………………………….

With Vern still at the house, him and Obi Wan engaged in conversation.

"Man, Yoda's a fugitive, Anakin is ready to murder him, and Padme doesn't have a clue about any of this. The world is falling apart, Vern. That's why the world needs intellectuals like us. I firmly believe it's up to us dignified, mature adults to bring this galaxy out of the slum it's in. You got any 2's?"

"Go fish."

The door opened and Padme and Leia walked in, bags in hand.

"Hi Obi Wan. Um, who's this?" asked Padme, looking at Vern.

"This is Vern, he likes lasagna," Obi Wan added pointlessly.

"That's nice. Where's Anakin?" asked Padme.

"He went to pick up Luke. Oh, and Yoda's running from the law," said Obi Wan.

"WHAT?" Padme yelled.

"You're surprised at this?" asked Leia, putting groceries away.

……………………………….

Yoda sat in an interrogation room, nervous and shaking.

"Alright, you. Do you have any idea how long you'll be in prison for once you get pinned for everything you did last night?" asked the first cop.

"I… I don't know," Yoda answered.

"823 years when it's all added up. So in your case, the entire second half of your life, old man. However, we're here to offer you a proposition to avoid jail time."

"A proposition?" said Yoda, relieved.

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That's all for now. I know it took forever to update, but I've been too busy lately. But before you know it, summer will be here and I'll have more time to write. Please review.