A/N Thank you for your comments after the last chapter! My exam session is over and I'm free (YAY!!!) so I'm going to post more often, probably two times a week instead of one. As I said before I was very excited to write this update and I really hope it will be a pleasure to read. We're saying goodbye to Mama Shep, not without the last few words of wisdom and… I really hope I didn't spoil the charm of three very important MerDer scenes that kind of morphed into one in this chapter. Enjoy!
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"We're having pancakes for breakfast," said Meredith wafting the appetizing aroma coming from the kitchen as she helped Bessie to climb down the stairs.
"With chocolate!"
"You're reading my mind, Cherry," she smiled. "We just need to overrule Daddy's health regime."
They happily entered the kitchen, already occupied by the rest of the household.
"Good morning," smiled Meredith lifting Bessie to put her in her chair.
"Morning, dear," replied Carolyn not taking her eyes off the sizzling pan. "You two are just in time."
Derek grinned widely at his girls, that was the way he wanted to start every day in his life; to wake up entangled with Meredith's warm body and then to have a family breakfast. He could do without Meredith's friend still staying at her house, or their house as Derek officially moved in the previous evening. But he was ready to tolerate his presence, thought Derek smirking at Ned whose half awake head was currently resting on the table.
He put the plates on the table and bent to plant a kiss on the top of Bessie's wild curls and another on Meredith's lips giving her a mischievous smile that was very inappropriate given the fact they had company.
"What's wrong with you?" she asked Ned as she sat down at the table pouring juice for everyone.
"I didn't get any rest last night," he grumbled tiredly. "You could have found me a place that's not directly above your room…"
Meredith felt herself going red and concentrated hard on the Kung Fu Panda winking at her from Bessie's plastic plate. Damn, she knew it was going to end up like that but Derek got her way with her anyway. And now the bastard pretended not to hear the conversation being busy with a newspaper. Yeah, right, the quirked eyebrows she could see above the big sheet of Seattle Daily betrayed that he was overly pleased with himself.
"Why am I the only one suffering from exhaustion?" Ned decided to drag the subject.
"Once Bessie is out, she's out," smiled Carolyn placing a huge pile of pancakes on the table and sitting down, "and I found spare ear plugs."
"You mind getting the chocolate, Der?" asked Meredith hurriedly.
"Chocolate, chocolate!" yelled Bessie.
"Nice, Mer," said Derek dryly, nevertheless taking out the sauce. "Sweets in the morning?"
"A good day starts with a good breakfast, you know," she commented airily.
"It'll feel very quiet and dull in my house back in New York," sighed Carolyn.
"I'm sure the wicked sisters will do something to help you out," grinned Derek.
"True, you have nine other grandchildren," said Meredith.
"But Bessie is your favorite, right, Ma?" he boasted. "Because she's mine."
"I'm wondering if it's the symptom of some complex or megalomania," smirked Meredith.
"A complex, I'd say," laughed Carolyn. "I should've paid more attention every time the girls tried to dress him in their skirts." Meredith burst out laughing promptly followed by Bessie.
"Don't I love it that you all get along so well," grimaced Derek.
"Do you have photos?" chuckled Meredith. "I'd like to see that."
"I was vulnerable and defenseless," said Derek. "Barely a toy in their evil hands."
"Mhm, now I know where that hair obsession comes from."
He was just about to reiterate but his pager cut him off.
"Damn," he muttered checking the message.
"You need to go to hospital," stated knowingly his mother.
"Yeah, my patient's got seizures," he sighed. "I'm sorry, Ma. Looks like it's just Mer and Bessie are going to see you off to the airport."
"It's fine, sweetie," she smiled understandingly.
Derek hurried to get briefcase and when his was back in the hall his mother was waiting for him.
"I hope I won't have to wait an eternity to see you again, son, you, Meredith and Bessie," she complained with a twinkle in her eye.
"I'm sorry for being silent on you," he said seriously taking her hands. "And thank you for coming, it meant the world to me."
"It's nothing," she replied dismissively. "You're my child, I have to look out for you."
"I'm your middle-aged child," he chuckled.
"For parents, their children never grow. And coming to that statement, I'm sure I'll have to calm down several temper tantrums when I tell your sisters what's new for you."
"I…" he hesitated. "I'm sorry for the trouble, Ma. I know I should tell everyone myself… but… I don't want them to judge… me and certainly not Meredith."
"But you won't conveniently forget to introduce tour new family to your sisters?" she looked at him sternly.
"I want Bessie to meet them, the crazy aunties, the monster cousins," he laughed. "Just… not now. We'll come to visit you in New York but… "
"Maybe you'll bring Meredith as your wife?" prompted Carolyn.
"Wish me luck with that," he grinned nervously.
"Son, I wish you all the best," she caressed his cheek. "But you don't need luck. You need love, some patience… some planning."
"I'm completely clueless here, Ma," he sighed pulling out the little velvet box and opening it to reveal the silver ring. "I'm carrying it with me everywhere just… have no idea…"
"I think you have a very good idea," encouraged him Carolyn. "You know Meredith, you know she doesn't need grand gestures, so you're waiting for the perfect moment. And it will come, trust me."
"Thanks Mom," he said and gave her grateful hug.
Neither Derek nor Carolyn saw a pair of perfectly-blue curious eyes staring at them from the corner. Their owner would probably fire a series of questions concerning the little shiny toy in her Daddy's hands but her little jaws were now too occupied with chewing a stolen muffin. Soon enough, however, the ring was altogether forgotten as Bessie heard her Mommy producing funny sounds. She didn't wait another minute to see what Mommy was up to this time. Mommy was so funny to watch sometimes, especially in the kitchen.
"Hmm, it looks like Meredith needs a hand in the kitchen," chuckled Carolyn straightening the lapels of Derek's coat as she heard soon-to-be-daughter's-in-law squealing. "Take care, son."
"You too, Mom," he smiled and picked up his briefcase from the floor. Before he left, Ned hurried into the hall.
"You mind giving me a ride to the hospital?" he asked.
"To Grace?" Derek frowned with surprise.
"Yeah."
"Come one," he sighed.
"Not really my business," started Derek conversationally, "but what do you need at Grace?" Actually, he had a pretty good idea, judging by the way he and Richard talked during the Thanksgiving dinner.
"I…" Ned stammered with caution. He was at the top of his behavior after Meredith almost ripped his head off for his jibes directed at Derek. But he didn't hold it against her; she was protecting her guy. Apparently, Shepherd was capable of providing for all her needs, including the ones he didn't want to know anything about. He would be moving out straight to a hotel now that Carolyn was going back to New York but he decided to camp at Meredith's one last night. She had a night shift and that meant the house was going to be mercifully quiet.
"I think I might be staying in Seattle," answered Ned frankly.
"Richard's giving you a job?" inquired Derek, masking his irritation. Great, he was going to watch his annoying face every day now…
"Head of cardio," nodded Ned and then added. "Look, man, I'm not trying to piss on your territory, ok? Might be a bit cliché, but she's like my sister. She really is."
Derek chose to listen without interrupting and Ned went on, "I've got no one else and sometimes… you need your people. Meredith and Bess are my people. But I'm not trying to steal them away from you. We have a special bond and that's why I'm here. Meredith, she cares for her people."
"She does," admitted Derek.
"And…" continues Ned uneasily. "I'm sorry if I was a pain in the ass. I guess I just enjoyed watching you go greener and greener."
Derek snorted, he knew as much. After a moment he added without any traces of hostility in his voice, "Thank you for being there for them."
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Another day, another trip to the airport. Only yesterday, Meredith saw off Stacy and James heading back to their abandoned work in London and today she was to bid farewell to Carolyn. As frustrating her presence seemed to be from the strictly sexual point of view, she felt a sudden uneasiness to watch her leave. Derek's mother was like a guardian angel to their relationship, force of stability and reason, what would happen without it?
"Thank you," Meredith blurted out as they waited in the bee-line fir the check-in.
"For what, dear?" asked Carolyn, hugging Bessie close to herself. She really got attached to this little joy, and wanted to be close to her , not knowing when would be the next time they saw each other again.
"You know for what," Meredith stared at her hands. "For fixing us."
"I did no such thing," Carolyn shook her head, smiling gently. "You took control of your life yourselves and decided to make it worthwhile. There might have been some coaxing from my part but you did the work yourself. That's the only way, Meredith."
Meredith felt her calm return and she took a deep breath.
"Now it's my turn to thank you," continued Carolyn. "For giving me a place at your at house to be close my granddaughter. "
"It was a pleasure," said Meredith sincerely. "You're always welcome here."
Meredith twirled her hands, she really wanted Carolyn to know how much she appreciated her help and support, and the way she accepted her in her family.
"I…" Meredith stuttered. "How could I ever repay you?"
"Meredith," Carolyn rubbed her back gently. "If you feel you need to repay me, take care of my son, will you?"
Meredith chuckled, "I'll do what I can."
"You can a lot," said Carolyn seriously. "And… let Derek take care of you, alright?" Her eyes bore into Meredith's who felt a bit self-conscious under her gaze and didn't know what to make of it.
"And," went on Carolyn. "I'll be thrilled if you called me Mom. When you're ready, that is," Carolyn smiled mysteriously.
"I…" Meredith felt an inexplicable warmth at her heart. A woman to whom she was a complete stranger barely two weeks ago asked her to call her mom… what a striking opposition to her own mother, who sometimes required her to address her as "Dr. Grey" when they were in a formal context.
"I said when you're ready," Carolyn squeezed her arm.
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Oh, God, she was bored out of her wits. How could anyone make such crappy cartoons for children? Of course, there might something wrong with her. She was never allowed to watch or read stories about beautiful princesses who were rescued by their handsome princes. And that was precisely why she watched them from time to time with Bessie. Because childhood probably involved watching silly cartoons.
"Ring!" Bessie's fervent voice broke her musings.
"Sorry, sweetie," Meredith yawned. "Did you say ring? I haven't heard the phone, nothing's ringing."
"No, ring!" Bessie slipped from the coach and ran up to touch the flat TV screen. "Ring, prince haves ring!"
Meredith concentrated on the events in the fairy world. An ideal man was kneeling in front of a fair lady with a huge band. "You're right, Bess," she admitted. "The prince has a ring, he wants to marry her."
"Marry her?" asked Bessie. "What's marry her?"
"Uhm," Meredith bit he lip. Like she would be the expert… "He wants to be with the princess forever, because he loves her. And wants to be happy with her, build a house, well, a palace together, and have children."
"Oh," Bessie seemed to be lost in thought. "Daddy's marry Nanny?"
"What?" chuckled Meredith. "What do you want to say, sweetie?"
"Daddy marries Nanny Carolyn," repeated Bessie. "He showed ring."
"What?" came another eloquent question on Meredith's part. What her sweet daughter was talking about?
"Daddy haves ring!"
Meredith's mind was reeling. Derek had a ring. Why would Derek have a ring…?
"Have you seen a ring, Cherry-pie?" asked Meredith almost dreading the answer.
Bessie nodded her head vigorously.
"Daddy had a ring?" demanded Meredith, pure panic flowing through her veins.
"It was pretty!" smiled Bessie. "More pretty than prince ring! I want ring!"
Meredith blanched visibly, "Rings are stupid… because rings lead to stupid questions… and even more stupid answers…"
Derek had a ring. It all made sense now; his furtive glances, Carolyn's hints at the airport. Meredith twirled her fingers nervously. Was he completely mad? They just got back together… and now he was springing up with… marriage? The word appeared reluctantly in her brain. What the hell was she going to do if he asked out of a sudden? She wasn't anywhere near ready to get married. Marriage was… big… and scary… and… And if she said no, and she didn't see how she could say anything different, he would feel hurt… and it would ruin the things between them all over again.
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All the way down to the hospital, Meredith's mind was consumed with the topic of the ring and the threats it posed. Stupid brainman who wanted to make her Dr. Mrs. Stupid Brainman. She almost groaned at the sight of him, waiting for them in the lobby and chatting with another doctor.
"Hey," his all face lit when he saw them. "How was your morning? Everything okay with Ma's flight?"
"Yeah," she sighed Meredith with a small voice avoiding his eyes. When he leaned to give her a kiss, she turned her head so lips found her cheek instead of her mouth.
"Meredith, where are you?" he asked concernedly.
"What?" Shit, he noticed something was off with. Of course, he would always notice.
"Your mind is completely elsewhere," he remarked gently.
"I'm… kinda in a hurry; I'll see you tomorrow morning," she fired out. She hugged Bessie and scurried towards the elevators; noticing in the corner of her eye the worried and resigned expression on Derek's face, the sign of his heart breaking into million tiny pieces.
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She stood taut and tensed waiting for the results of the CT. Damn, her shoulders slumped as the image appeared clear. There would be no cutting. Wait… did she just wish her patient a brain condition requiring a surgery to take her mind off her private things? She was a monster.
The truth was, the night was peaceful and slow. She could spend most of it slumbering in the on-call room. But she wasn't able to close an eyelid without seeing an image of Derek kneeling before her, assuring her of his undying love and devotion, with a gigantic ring so heavy that pulled her hand to the ground.
"Meredith, thank God I found you," Cristina's voice brought her to reality. She didn't notice when the technician left her alone in the CT room and when she was joined by her best friend.
"Hey," Meredith gave a fleeting smile. "You haven't gone home yet? You're not on call tonight."
"I've been thinking," said Cristina looking harassed. "I need to tell you something, and then you need to tell me something."
"Yeah," Meredith sighed dejectedly. "I need to spit it all out, because I've been thinking and thinking about it since this morning and it's eating me up inside-"
"Meredith, he told me to meet him halfway, that I can do this, that we can do this," Cristina cut her across.
Meredith stared at her and asked, "Owen?"
"He said that all I have to do is say yes," Cristina breathed out deeply and fixed her eyes at Meredith.
Meredith's jaw tightened. She was a mess herself and now Cristina demanded her advice? Who was she to know anything about that?
"He said that it was my ceiling fan and that its blades were spinning like the blades of a chopper, and that triggered…" added Cristina. "And I unscrewed it… so he could… and I did that for him and he's here, and he wants everything," she rubbed her forehead absent-mindedly.
Meredith's eyes went wide open, her heart beat wildly only to calm down into a steady rhythm. It was like an epiphany. She could never tell later what it was about this moment that changed the course of her heart and her life. Was it her person, the tough Cristina Yang looking as though she was capable of doing anything for the man she loved? Or maybe in fact she saw her own reflection, her love for Derek, her own yearning for him, her own indecisiveness and fear? Was she waiting for the push in the right direction?
She was a witness of her parents marital failure and of Cristina's wedding disaster. But at the end of the day, what was important was love. Without it, you'd never create a relationship, marriage or not. She and Derek had a long history, why would they wait any longer? Besides, she had a comparable panic attack when she found about her pregnancy, and it was amazing. Maybe marriage would also be. Derek would be with her, they would be committed to each other…
"Meredith?" prompted Cristina.
"So," smiled Meredith, "I think I… you should do this… because I think it's important to take the time and the people you love how much you love them while they can hear you."
Cristina's face relaxed; apparently it was the reassurance she needed.
"I love you, Cristina Yang," grinned Meredith letting her friend now could count on her, ever.
Cristina tilted her head and smiled.
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By the end of her night shift, Meredith managed to devise a plan of action. She wasn't going to be a hypocrite, she was going to act on her own advice. Now that she knew about the ring and felt okay with it, she couldn't just wait inertly for Derek to pluck up the courage. She probably scared him off with her yesterday's evasiveness.
Already in her street clothes, she sat down in a chair in the lobby to wait for her family. The situation was reversed. This time, it was her who smiled from side to side when Derek and Bessie trotted up, while he wore an uneasy mask which, at her wide smile, transformed into the one of slight confusion.
"You're happy today," he murmured when she granted him a prolonged kiss.
"Mhm, I am," she whispered back taking the stroller with the still drowsy Bessie.
He glanced at her insecurely, so she said, "Listen, when are you off today?"
"Um, 6 p.m. I think."
"What would you say to an evening together? Just the two of us? At the trailer," she smiled already seeing in her mind's eye how stunned he would be.
"Okay," he said slowly. "What about Bess?"
"Cristina will sit with her. They will be good, they've already survived an evening alone," she rolled her eyes. "I love you," she added.
His frown lessened, "I love you, too. We're good?"
"We are," she nodded. "Never better."
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"Meredith!" whined Cristina behind her. "Care to explain me what we're doing?"
"I've already told you," replied Meredith not even looking at her friend and clutching tightly Bessie's hand so she wouldn't get lost between the shelves or drag a garden rake on her head. There was certainly too many interesting things that caught her attention. "You're here to help me with my shopping."
"At DIY store?" Cristina raised her eyes to high heaven, "You can't do anything yourself. And why isn't McDreamy he? Is he only for looking pretty in this relationship?"
"He doesn't know anything," said Meredith. "It's a surprise."
"What's the surprise?"
"Hmm, not here," muttered Meredith peeking between two rows of shelves. "Oh, here it is!"
Cristina bumped into when she stopped abruptly, "What? Candles?"
"Yup, I need a couple of them," nodded Mer counting.
"You need candles?" Cristina raised her eyebrows. "And that's why we drove to the city's peripheries to buy a couple of candles?"
"Basically," answered Meredith airily. "Sir?" she turned to a shop assistant with a green outfit. "Do you have more of them?"
"How many do you need?"
"I think…" her mind travelled to Derek's cliff. "Two hundred should do it."
Cristina was rooted to the spot. Did she just say…?
"Two hundred?" she blurted out. "What do you need two hundred candles for?"
"Do you need help taking them to your car?" asked politely the shop assistant.
"Yes, please."
"You're joking, right?" snorted Cristina. "Right?"
"You see, we don't need to trudge them into the car," smiled Meredith ignoring her friend's concerns. "We'll just have to take it out."
She continued ignoring Cristina's questions, pouts and comments about her mental illness until they pulled up in the grovel driveway near the trailer.
"What are we doing at McDreamy's den?" insisted Cristina looking around. It was the first time she actually saw the famous Shepherd's trailer. She had to admit the environs were amazing but still… living this far off the beaten track…
"Sorry, sweetie," Meredith leaned over to readjust Bessie's car seat. "You need to stay in the car, I don't want you to run off and jump off the cliff. We'll have to build some solid fence around here…"
"What fence?" demanded Cristina with dread. "God, are you…? Do you want to move out here? The trailer-"
"Honestly, do you think I want my two-year-old living in a trailer?" Meredith rolled her eyes.
"You said… You want to build a house out here?"
"I… maybe," she bit her lip opening the trunk. "Help me with the candles, won't you?"
Ten minutes later the boxes with candles were stacked on the grassy cliff that overlooked Seattle, giving a truly magnificent view.
"Just tell me, what are you going to do with these?"
"Light them," quipped Meredith.
"Well, you're lucky it's not raining or snowing today," sighed Cristina recognizing her defeat. "You know what you're doing?"
"No," smiled Meredith. "But I'm excited anyway. Thank you for staying with Cherry tonight. Derek would never agree to Ned."
"That's fine," answered Cristina. "Even if you're an ungrateful tight-lipped bitch."
"Oh, that's so sweet, thank you," grinned Meredith and they got back to the car so she could kiss Bessie goodbye.
"Be careful with the fire," snorted Cristina. "I don't want to find out tomorrow that you and McDreamy burnt half of the forest."
"Fire's really hard to control," smirked Meredith.
"Uh, I'm going now," grimaced Cristina. "Before me or Bessie catch the virus of insanity."
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Two hours later, everything was perfect and ready. The sky was now dark but perfectly clear, showing off thousands of bright stars. The panorama over the city was breathtaking. The candles lit brightly presenting a visible pattern. There was a bottle of wine cooling in the trailer. The only thing missing was Derek.
He was supposed to be here an hour ago but he didn't show up yet. Instead Meredith was pacing nervously, becoming more and more impatient by the second. She decided upon this, she was ready for this, but she was nervous as hell. Plus, she was getting cold, it was November after all.
He was probably pulled up with some urgent case, or maybe he just didn't see the need to hurry his ass up. She took out her mobile and chose his number, pacing up and down… Hell, she had problems with the signal. They would have to think about something to make them reachable from the civilized world if they were going to build here, that is if Derek showed up and said yes…
"Stupid, corny, idiotic!" she ranted to herself. "I cannot believe I did this…"
Derek stopped the engine with a sigh. He was a whole hour late. Not that Meredith wouldn't understand, she would, she had the same job. But she was definitely keeping something to herself and they needed to sort it out immediately before it escalated into something none of them wanted.
His heart sank when he realized her car wasn't here. She must have got tired of waiting and left. But there were lights in the trailer. Derek went in and… "Meredith?" No, she wasn't there. The heating was turned on, a few packets lay on the table but she wasn't there. He walked out with resignation and then something caught his attention. A few yards away, dozens of lights were glimmering on the ground and amongst them… there she was…
He rushed to her, his steps muted by the frozen grass. She was walking between rows of candles, manhandling her phone, sighing and muttering with irritation, probably expressing her dissatisfaction with him.
"Stupid brainman."
Yup, she was definitely talking about him.
"Stupid loser. Son of a…" Ouch, this might get painful. "I could be at home instead of-"
"Meredith," he smiled gently, his eyes sweeping over the sea of candles that seemed to create a contour of a…
"Where have you been?" she yelled turning to him. "I've been waiting and waiting for you, and I did this stupid, embarrassing, humiliating, corny thing, I was just gonna tell you that this over here is our kitchen," she pointed with her hand, "this is our living room, and over there," she said firmly, "that's the room where our kids could play. I had this whole thing "I was gonna build us a house" but I don't build houses because I'm a surgeon," she draw a breath to continue. "And now I'm here feeling like a lame-ass loser and it's all ruined because it took you so long to come home!"
"This is the kitchen?" he grinned ignoring her tirade. "Living room? Little small… I think the view is much better from here," he pointed at the place closer to edge of the cliff. "And that's the room where our kids are gonna play?" he asked with a warm smile that turned mischievous, "Where's our bedroom?"
"I'm still mad at you," she sighed. He showed up, that was the moment. She had to do it now because Derek was going towards her with clear purpose in his eyes and once he kissed her, she would forget about anything else. "And I know there's a ring."
"What?" he frowned, his heart beating in panic. He knew exactly what she was referring to… but how did she know?
"I know there's a ring," she repeated, letting off her wristwatch she was nervously playing with. "Look… I'm not going to get down on one knee, obviously…"
Derek stared at her silently, trying to understand what she meant.
"I'm not gonna ask a question," she continued taking deep breath before her next words, her glistening eyes reflecting the fire of the candles. "I love you, Derek Shepherd. And I wanna spend the rest of my life with you."
He was dreaming, wasn't he? Or just imaging things… or did she really just ask him…? She looked so expectantly at him, so valiantly…
"And I wanna spend the rest of my life with you," he murmured back drawing closer to her.
The last thing he saw before he kissed her were her full lips curved in a joyous smile. They were both surprised how different this kiss tasted. Like they were sure they belonged to each other for ever. The kiss lost none of their usual spark and untamed passion and they were soon forced to pull away to catch their breaths. Derek dived his hand into the inner pocket of his coat and pulled out the velvet box he showed his mother this morning and opened it.
She blinked curiously at the little piece of jewelry, not some casual jewelry… it was the ring. And it was beautiful, simple and elegant, with a traditional design.
"You don't have to wear it," hurried Derek seeing her long look. "You're not really the ring… bride…"
"I thought I wasn't the mommy type… " whispered Meredith warmly. "Or the wifey type… and just look where we are…"
The world seemed to stop revolving when Derek took the ring out of the box and gently reached for her hand. He caressed her finger, slowly slid the ring and brought her hand to his lips. She felt dizzy with all the emotions running through her body like an electric current. And it didn't help when Derek moved his lips from her palm to her mouth.
"Come on," he whispered huskily.
"What? Where?" she battled her eyelids, the kiss leaving her disoriented.
"I wanna kiss you," he grinned dreamily, his eyes looking at her reverently. "And I wanna do more than kiss you. And I think our house," he glanced at the candles, "requires still a lot of work before we can do that without freezing to death."
They clung to each other and hurried to the trailer laughing light-heartedly, eager to properly celebrate their engagement.
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A/N Love it or hate it??? Did you notice a bit of Bessie's perspective? There will be a bit more of it in the sequel.
Anxious to know your opinion.
Em :)