Hold Me Now

by CharmedBec

The cliché was true, sometimes you didn't know what you had until it was gone. The question was: could you ever win it back again once you'd lost it? Lindsay Monroe was about to find out the answer... AU as of Lucy's birth in Season 5.

36. Crime Scene Investigation

HOLD ME NOW

Disclaimer: The characters in CSI: New York do not belong to me. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.

Summary: The cliché was true, sometimes you didn't know what you had until it was gone. The question was: could you ever get it back again once you'd lost it? Lindsay Monroe was about to find out the answer.

Notes: Hey! New chapter for you. I know it's been a long time since it was mentioned, but the case that Lindsay is working on in this chapter is the crime scene that she and Danny processed way back in Chapter 3. I've always intended to return to it at some point, but it's taken a lot longer than expected to get round to it! Still, better late than never, huh?

OOOOOO

Part 36 – Crime Scene Investigation

New York Crime Lab, two days later…

Despite the on-going manhunt for the 'See No Evil' killer, Lindsay found herself with very little to do when she arrived for her shift on Friday morning. After typing up a couple of forensic reports from the previous day, she did what she normally did on these rare occasions and decided to re-visit some of her unsolved cases to see whether a fresh eye would enable her to spot a new lead amongst the collated evidence.

The crime scene that held the greatest pull for her at present was the Trebechi case – the young woman brutally stabbed to death in her apartment by person or persons still unknown. The cherished photo of their Vic with the little dark-haired, blue-eyed girl in pigtails was the key to the case, Lindsay was certain of it. All the evidence was pointing towards it being a professional hit though. The general theory right now was that Helen Trebechi had gotten herself mixed up in some kind of drug ring and had paid the ultimate price for not toeing the line.

Lindsay however, believed differently. Officially, Helen Trebechi was an orphan. Her parents had died in a car accident when she was seventeen. She had no siblings and there was no record of her ever having given birth. It made no sense whatsoever because the small child in the picture was clearly a relative. There wasn't a shred of evidence to support this theory of course, but Lindsay just couldn't shake off what her instincts were telling her. There was a family connection here, she was absolutely certain of it.

Carefully removing the photo from the evidence bag, she laid it out on the light table in front of her, and then flipped through the boxes of evidence until she came across a second photo. The detail on the evidence tag said it was from the employee record of the company that Helen had worked for – the photo taken for her id card about six months before her untimely death. Lindsay placed the second picture on the light table next to the first and studied them both through thoughtful eyes.

She needed a time reference, she realised. She needed to know when the child in the picture was born. By comparing the two photos, could she work out how old their Vic had been in the first picture? Would the Crime Lab's facial aging software be that sensitive? If it worked, it would give her an approximate time window for the little girl's birth. The child was no more than four in Lindsay's estimation and she didn't have a young toddler's typical baby-faced chubbiness either. All this put her at around three years of age when the picture was taken.

Picking up the two photos, Lindsay took them across to the scanner, placed them face down on the glass, and then sat down in front of the computer terminal to run the comparison software. It wasn't the most accurate of analyses that she'd ever conducted, but it did indicate that their Vic had been approximately three to six years younger in the first photograph in comparison to the second. Add another three years onto that and she could estimate that the little girl had been born around six to nine years ago, which would make Helen somewhere between the ages of fifteen and eighteen at the time.

It didn't paint a pretty picture at first glance, but the child had obviously been well loved by their Vic. The photo had held pride of place on the dresser and its frame had been polished to shining. Because of this, some inner instinct told Lindsay that the little girl had been born out of a consensual relationship rather than as a result of rape or sexual abuse. While Lindsay knew that many teenagers were sexually active at that age, she was still inclined to believe that Helen had been nearer eighteen than fifteen when her baby had been born…

Lindsay shook her head at that thought. She was breaking the cardinal rule of forensics - always follow the evidence and don't let unsubstantiated theories drive the investigation. There was nothing here that indicated that the child in the picture was Helen's - nothing at all except for Lindsay's own innate instincts as a mother. It was more than likely another false lead, but she couldn't let it go for some reason.

Turning back to the computer, she rolled her shoulders and then let her fingers do the searching for her…

OOOOOO

Three hours later, somewhere in the Bronx…

"I think I'm actually shaking," Danny said in disgust as he set the paper cup aside and held out his hands in front of him.

"Caffeine buzz," Flack told him knowledgably as he munched on a cream-filled donut, scattering powdered sugar all over his navy-blue shirt as he did so.

"You know this is exactly why I gave up working as a beat cop and trained to be a CSI," Danny continued in the same complaining tone of voice. "So how come I've been stuck in this car for eight hours straight with nothing but your ugly face for company, huh?"

"Watch who you're calling ugly, butt-face," Flack protested mildly.

"Butt-face?" Danny remarked acidly. "Seriously? Is that the best you can do? I mean that's the kind of insult that Lucy comes out with."

"Lindsay allows your daughter to use terms like 'butt-face'?" Flack said in a deeply sceptical tone of voice. "I think not, brother. That would warrant a time-out for sure. And put you in the proverbial dog-house if she ever found out that you had encouraged it."

Danny laughed. "More than likely, yeah," he agreed.

"So how are things going between you two lately anyway?" Don enquired conversationally.

"Hey! It passes the time," he went on defensively when Danny shot him a look. "Stake-outs are the perfect opportunity for long deep and meaningfuls, you know."

"And here's me thinking it was all trash talk and junk food," Danny replied sardonically.

"Well yeah, that too," Flack acknowledged with a grin before his expression turned more serious again. "I mean it though. You two doing okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, things are better," his friend replied. "A lot better in fact. I never thought I'd say it, but going for counselling was probably the best decision we ever made. It's brought a lot of issues out into the open that I doubt we would have talked about otherwise."

"And Lindsay's better?" Don interjected. "In herself, I mean?"

Danny nodded. "She's getting there," he said. "She seems more centred now, and her behaviour isn't quite as erratic as before." He looked down at his hands folded together in his lap. "She has a lot of deep-rooted insecurities to combat, but I think… well, she's the bravest person I know and I truly believe that she has the strength to get through this."

"Well - I think I'm gonna cry," Flack observed, the acerbic comment serving to break the thick silence that had descended after Danny's rather too emotionally frank revelation.

That earned him a retaliatory punch in the arm and he held up his hands in mock surrender. "I'm kidding!" he said with a chuckle. "I'm glad to hear things are better, honestly I am."

"So…" he went on, drawing out the syllable for deliberate effect. "If things are on the up, does that mean your epic dry spell is over at long last?"

"That is none of your business," Danny told him in a matter-of-fact tone.

"Ah now, come on," Flack protested. "Trash talk is the lynch-pin of every stake-out. You're not going to deny me the entertainment now, are you buddy?"

"Yep so suck it up," Danny said as he picked up a pair of binoculars and focused them on the building across the street. "You want those kinds of kicks – try the top shelf at any self-respecting news-stand."

"Hmm. Well, I guess I'm just gonna have to tell you about the time that me and Ellen…"

"Flack!" Danny interrupted sharply before he could go any further.

"What?" Don said, suddenly all business.

"The ass-hole's finally on the move," Danny told him, tossing the binoculars aside and reaching for the radio. "Get driving, Detective."

OOOOOO

Meanwhile, back at the Lab…

"Boom!" Lindsay murmured triumphantly as she stared at the information on the screen in front of her. It had to mean something, it just had to…

Her heart thumping with the excitement of her unexpected discovery, she hit 'print' and rose purposefully to her feet, her mind working fifteen to the dozen as she considered her next move. It was then that she realised her dilemma… she was still on modified assignment. Mac had not yet cleared her to go out into the field.

She pulled out her cell, flipped it open and hit speed-dial 1. It went straight to voicemail. "Damn!" she exclaimed in irritation.

She headed out into the corridor and her frustration only grew. There was nobody here with any kind of authority whatsoever. Mac, Stella, along with Danny and Hawkes were all out of the Lab following up leads on the 'See No Evil' case. But she had something, she knew she did...

Closing her eyes, she resisted the urge to scream and tried to think clearly. "Okay, okay, just keep calm, keep calm," she muttered to herself as she searched for another name in her cell and hit the call button.

Mac picked up after the third ring. "Lindsay?"

"I need to check something out on the Trebechi case," Lindsay told him without any preamble.

"Which is?"

She quickly filled him in. "It's the key, Mac. I know it is!" she said when the only response she got was a long, considered silence.

"I'm sorry, but I can't authorise this, Lindsay," Mac said before she could continue any further.

"But…"

"I can't authorise you to go out into the field alone," her boss cut in firmly. "Not yet. Find someone to go with you or stay put."

"I tried calling Danny, but he didn't pick up, and there's nobody else here!" Lindsay lamented before she could bite her tongue.

"And you need to calm down before I re-think my decision to allow you out into the field at all," Mac returned in a sharply authoritative tone.

Suitably chastised, Lindsay sucked in a calming breath. "I know, I know, I'm sorry. It's just really frustrating, you know? I know I'm onto something here, Mac. I just know it."

"I understand that, but my decision is final, Lindsay. You can go but you take someone with you for back-up, okay? Rachel Havers was the detective working the case, right?"

"Well yes but…"

"I know it's difficult," Mac interrupted, "But you're going to have to learn to work with her sometime. She and Danny seem to manage it despite their personal issues. Maybe this is your opportunity to learn how to do the same."

Lindsay would have rather eaten slugs, but she was wise enough to know that it probably wouldn't be the greatest career move in the world if she chose to voice that opinion. While Mac was unquestionably her friend, he was first and foremost her boss. He cared, she knew he did, but he wouldn't allow the efficiency of his department to be compromised. She respected that, even if he was asking her to consider a course of action that she'd much rather avoid.

"All right, I guess I'll drop by the precinct and see what I can arrange," she said reluctantly.

"You do that, and keep me posted, okay?"

"Sure," she agreed and then ended the call. Well, that was just fabulous, wasn't it? An afternoon with her husband's ex-lover - she was so looking forward to that… not!

OOOOOO

Forty-five minutes later…

"Booty calls are strictly prohibited, you know that right?" Rachel Havers said to Don Flack's girlfriend, Ellen Robertson as they walked down the sidewalk towards the precinct's entrance.

Ellen laughed. "Relax," she soothed. "I'm just gonna drop by and get him in the mood for tonight."

"I think he's out with Danny on a stake-out," Rachel warned. "So he's probably not going to be around."

"So," Ellen shrugged as if this was of no matter. "I'll leave him a note." She grinned. "A sealed one."

Rachel laughed. "You're shameless!"

"And proud," her friend shot back. "And can you blame me? The guy is hot with a capital 'H' and he's all mine." Her eyes narrowed then as she spied a tell-tale figure approaching from the opposite direction. "Well, whaddya know? If it isn't Miss Vacillation."

"Ellen," Rachel warned. "Zip it, okay? I'm on the clock and like it or not, she's a colleague."

"Oo and doesn't she just look super happy to see us?" Ellen commented dryly as Lindsay lifted her head and spotted them heading towards her.

There was an awkward pause as the three women's paths met at the bottom of the short flight of steps heading up into the precinct. "Umm – you err… got a minute?" Lindsay enquired of Rachel when she managed to locate her voice.

"For what?"

"I think I have a lead on the Trebechi case. It's a bit of a curveball, but I'm hoping it's the break we've been waiting for," Lindsay explained, purposely ignoring the death-stare Flack's girlfriend was aiming in her direction.

Rachel nodded noncommittally. "And you're coming to me with this because…?"

Lindsay looked decidedly uncomfortable. "I err… I need someone to go with me to check it out," she said. "Mac's cleared me for field work, but only if I've got someone with me for back-up."

Rachel raised her eyebrows. "I'm guessing I'm not your first choice of companion?" she said, her tone heavy with irony.

"More like a last resort," Lindsay admitted bluntly, "But this is important so…" She left the statement hanging but the underlying implication was clear.

"You've got some nerve," Ellen cut in then.

Lindsay's temper sparked. "And this is your business how?" she shot back.

"Do I have to spell it out?"

Lindsay sighed. "Look – I'm sorry Rachel got caught up in the middle of things, I really am, but I won't apologise for still loving my husband, or for trying to build a proper family life for my daughter again. She deserves that even if I don't deserve Danny's forgiveness for making such a mess of our lives."

She turned her attention back to Rachel then. "I'm here to work this case, okay? Believe me this is not my idea of a fun afternoon either, but you saw that apartment, you saw what the perp did to her. I'm just trying to get her a little justice. If working with me is too much for you to handle then I'll go, no questions asked…"

Rachel shook her head. "No, no, I'm okay - I don't like it, sure - but I can handle it."

Lindsay nodded. "Good, so we're on the same page then," she said. "As for you," she turned back to Ellen, her eyes glittering with irritation. "Don is one of Danny's closest friends and whether you like it or not, that isn't going to change any time soon. I know we're never going to be BFF's, but I think for their sakes we should at least try to be civil, don't you? Maybe Danny has to accept some responsibility for the situation, but it sure as hell isn't fair on Flack to be stuck in the middle of it."

She nodded curtly at Rachel. "I'll see you inside," she finished, and then turned on her heel and marched up the steps into the precinct.

Rachel glanced at her friend's outraged face. "She has a point," she said. "I appreciate the support, but you can't expect Flack's loyalties to be the same as yours. He and Danny have been friends for years, not to mention the fact that Lindsay's his friend too. Neither she nor Danny expected him to take sides when they split – I should know, I was there. It's a bit much for you to demand it of him now. The guy's not stupid, you know, he knows better than to suggest you take part in some kind of cosy double-date with the two of them, but I think you're going to piss him off pretty damn quick if you can't at least manage to be polite when y'all cross paths. Is that what you really want?"

"Of course not," Ellen said, her expression pinched. "Her 'butter wouldn't melt' act just makes me so mad and it annoys me that he can't see through it. I mean did you hear her just now? 'I won't apologise for still loving my husband' She damn well should when her husband belonged to someone else!"

Rachel shook her head with a wry smile. "Isn't that a contradiction in terms?" she asked. "Her husband, Ellen, not mine. Like or not, in the eyes of the law, her claim is the more legitimate one, especially considering there's a child involved."

"I still can't understand why you're so accepting of the situation."

"Because Danny has made up his mind," Rachel replied, "And I'd only be humiliating myself further if I tried to change it. I always knew his feelings for Lindsay weren't exactly dead and buried, but I figured that with time..."

She broke off with a sad shake of her head. "And I suppose I can't help thinking of Lucy too," she went on after a beat. "She's such a little sweetheart; you can't help falling in love with her. She was always Mommy this and Mommy that, it just didn't occur to her that Daddy - and especially Daddy's girlfriend - wouldn't want to know."

She sighed. "Danny and I had a lot of fun together, yes, but we were hardly Romeo and Juliet. I did feel that we had a lot of potential, but I have more self-respect than to hanker after someone who is clearly in love with someone else. I'm just grateful that I got out before I got in too deep if you want to know the truth. As for Lindsay… well, she's never going to be my favourite person in the world, but I can't really blame her for being unable to let Danny go when it finally came to signing on that dotted line. As much as it pains me to admit it, I think I'd have probably done the same thing in her shoes."

Ellen crossed her arms under her breasts. "You're determined to be mature and sensible about this, aren't you?"

Rachel shrugged. "So sue me." She brushed her titian ponytail back over her shoulder. "It helps that it's getting easier," she admitted. "I've never been one to wallow in a painful break-up for an extended period of time. It just isn't me. It's always been my policy to get back out there as soon as possible. This time's no different so the continued outrage on my behalf isn't really necessary."

"Well, you're a better woman than me," Ellen remarked.

Rachel smiled. "No – just a more pragmatic one. You have passion, Ellen, unpredictability – I imagine that's what Flack finds so attractive about you, but if you continue to direct your inner bitch at Lindsay the way that you are, then it's going to wear pretty thin, pretty fast. Rein it in, hon, or you might just find yourself without a boyfriend."

Ellen threw up her hands in defeat. "All right, I'll bite my tongue, exchange polite niceties with the woman - even if I do think Danny's got rocks in his head choosing her over you."

"There, that wasn't so hard, was it?" Rachel said encouragingly.

Her friend said something unprintable in return, and Rachel laughed.

Ellen smiled. "I'm a nice person really," she said defensively. "And I think I'm falling in love with Don so…" She shrugged and then reached out to hug her friend goodbye. "I'll see you Sunday, yeah?"

"I thought you were coming in," Rachel said.

Ellen wrinkled her nose in distaste. "Humility's not my strong suit," she confessed. "So I'll think I'll pass. Don't let her get under your skin, okay?"

"I'll be the perfect professional even if it kills me," Rachel assured her as she turned for the precinct doors.

OOOOOO

They'd had him cornered, but he'd come out fighting… with a sawn-off shotgun.

"Damn it!" Flack exclaimed vehemently as he watched the ever-widening pool of blood stain the dirty cobblestones. "He knew something, he had to!"

"Flack…"

"I only meant to maim him, but he moved at the last minute and…" He shook his head in disgust. "Now we're back to square one!"

"FLACK!"

Don whipped around just in time to see his colleague sit down heavily on a nearby packing crate. His face was pale and there was blood staining his grey t-shirt. "Jesus!" He hurried forward. "Where?"

"My arm," Danny said through gritted teeth. "&%$!" he swore as his friend eased the thick leather jacket off his shoulder to take a look.

"Just a flesh wound," Don observed with relief. "Looks pretty nasty though so you should probably get it checked out." He wrapped his scarf around the bleeding injury as a make-shift bandage, and then pulled it tight, prompting Danny to swear at him a second time.

"Don't be such a baby, it's a scratch," Flack admonished as he drew out his cell and called the incident in. "Mac's gonna be pissed," he said after he'd ended the brief call.

"What? That I got hurt or that you killed our only solid lead?" Danny remarked.

"Make me feel better why don't you?"

"Flack – it was a good shoot," Danny said, gesturing with his good arm at the bullet-strewn alleyway and the two dented dumpsters that had shielded them from the worst of it. "You didn't have any other option. It was either take him out or go to an early grave."

Flack nodded curtly. "I should probably call Lindsay, right?"

Danny shook his head. "No, don't freak her out."

Flack frowned. "This'll be all over the NYPD grapevine within hours, Dan."

"I know, but I'll call her as soon as I've got this patched up." He shifted, trying to get more comfortable and then winced as the movement jarred his injured arm.

"What happened anyway?" Flack asked.

"Zigged when I should have zagged," Danny replied, his voice strained.

Don looked at his friend in concern. Sweat had broken out on his brow. "You feelin' all right?"

Pressing his lips together, Danny closed his eyes. "A little light-headed, but I'll be fine," he answered.

"Well, here come the cavalry," Flack said, as the scream of approaching sirens reached their ears. He stood, squaring his shoulders resolutely. "Stay where you are. I'll go greet them."

As another stab of debilitating pain rippled through his upper arm, Danny was only to glad to oblige…

OOOOOO

Lindsay lifted her hand and knocked sharply on the apartment door, then stood back as she heard sounds of movement from within. A young woman in her late twenties opened the door a few moments later and looked at them enquiringly. "Yes?" she said.

"Karenna Melvin?" Rachel asked.

"Yes umm… that's me. What…?"

"NYPD," Rachel said formally as both she and Lindsay proffered their badges.

Karenna's face paled. "Oh god! It's Helen isn't it? I knew it when she didn't… I knew it, but I hoped… oh god!" Her hands rose to cover her mouth.

"Miss Melvin - may we come in?" Lindsay asked gently.

"Yes umm…" The young woman's eyes filled as she stepped back to let them across the threshold. "Is she…?"

Lindsay nodded in confirmation as Rachel closed the door behind them. "I'm sorry," she said with genuine sympathy.

Karenna let out a single grief-stricken sob, but then, with a great effort of will, she managed to pull herself together. "They found her, didn't they?" she asked shakily.

"Who found her Miss Melvin?" Rachel enquired at once.

"I… err…" Karenna started and then faltered, her gaze narrowing with a dawning suspicion. "You don't know, do you?"

"Know what?" Rachel asked.

Karenna looked between the two detectives, her eyes wide and moist with unshed tears. "She… oh god!"

Lindsay reached out and took the young woman's arm, then led her over to a nearby chair and urged her to sit down. "How about we rewind a little?" she said soothingly as she and Rachel sat down on the sofa opposite. "The beginning is a good place to start, I always find."

Her hands twisting together in her lap, Karenna nodded her agreement.

"So how did you and Helen meet?" Lindsay enquired.

"We were best friends at school," Karenna told them. "We come from a little place in upstate New York, but when I was thirteen my Dad got a job in the City and me and my family moved out here."

"And you and Helen kept in touch afterwards?" Rachel asked.

"For the first couple of years, yeah," Karenna replied, "But you know how it goes when you're young. We didn't completely lose touch, but we each had our own lives and our own friends so…" She broke off with a resigned shrug.

"Records show that you and Helen were leasing the same apartment in Queens around nine years ago," Lindsay stated.

"Yeah umm…" Karenna dropped her gaze to her lap before continuing. "I'd had a serious falling out with my Mom and Dad the year before and I moved out. I was lucky really - I could've ended up on the streets, but my Gran had left me a small trust fund when she died – not enough to live on but it at least helped me to rent a reasonably decent apartment."

"You were an emancipated minor?" Rachel asked.

Karenna nodded. "My Dad umm… he err… he hit me, broke my nose. He'd hit me before, but never like that, and my Mom… well, she thought I deserved it. They were pretty conservative, you see, but this is New York City and I was young…" She sighed. "Anyway, because of my age, child services didn't really want to put me into the system for only a few months so I got emancipated instead."

"So how did Helen come to be living with you?" Lindsay asked.

"She just showed up on my doorstep one day. She was a total mess – her parents had just died and… well, there was a lot of other stuff she was running from too."

Lindsay nodded, but chose not to comment at that point. "Records also show that you gave birth to a seven pound baby girl on May 3rd 2004," she said instead.

Karenna's expression grew wary at that and Lindsay felt her heart leap inside her chest. Her instincts had been right, now all she needed was the confirmation. "Miss Melvin?" she pressed when Karenna failed to respond.

"I umm…" Karenna ran an agitated hand through her hair and then finally relented. "That… that wasn't me," she confessed in a rush. "That was Helen. She used my name, my insurance… We knew it was wrong, but we were only eighteen at the time and we just didn't know what else to do. Helen was scared that they'd find her, and we knew they'd be watching the hospitals so it seemed like the only option."

"They?" Rachel prompted.

Karenna's expression became shuttered at that. "Look, I don't… I… I have two children to protect. Helen wouldn't want… she'd want me to stick to our agreement."

Lindsay nodded. "Okay, no names for now," she said smoothly before their witness clammed up any further, "Just tell us the story all right?"

Karenna hesitated for a moment, but then reluctantly nodded. "When Helen showed up at my door, she was six months pregnant," she said. "Her boyfriend Gray… he err… he was in the accident that killed her parents. The car slid on some ice and went straight into the path of an oncoming dumper truck – the three of them were killed instantly."

"Gray's parents… well, they'd thrown him out when he told them about Helen's pregnancy but afterwards… They took her in, organised all three funerals. She was numb with shock so she never suspected that they had an ulterior motive – I mean who would? But then a couple of weeks later, they told her that they wanted the baby. Gray was their only child, you see. They said they'd pay her a hundred thousand dollars if she left the child with them, then walked away and never looked back."

"She told them no, of course. She hadn't planned to get pregnant, but she'd made up her mind to keep the baby and now the child was all the family that she had left. They got nasty then – threatened her, said they'd take the baby anyway, get her declared an unfit mother…"

"So she ran," Lindsay surmised.

Karenna nodded. "Yes, but it took her weeks to get away from them. They kept her a virtual prisoner in the house. She got lucky though, gave them the slip on a trip to the doctor's office and managed to hitch a ride outta town before anyone realised that she'd gone."

"Why didn't she just go to the authorities?" Rachel asked.

Karenna made a derisive sound in the back of her throat. "Yeah, like that would have helped," she said sarcastically. "Gray's parents had considerable influence - the town sheriff was totally in their pocket by all accounts."

"But what about when she arrived in New York?" Lindsay interjected. "Why didn't she report it then?"

Karenna shrugged. "Gray's parents have money. She didn't think she could fight them in court and win."

"So she chose to hide instead?" Lindsay finished for her.

Karenna nodded. "It was okay for a couple of years – the three of us – me, Helen and little Grace – we lived together quite happily. It was sometimes a struggle to get by, but we shared the childcare between the two of us, which meant we had two incomes coming in. And then when Grace was three, Helen saw Gray's father in Manhattan – I guess he was there on business or something. She was convinced that he'd recognised her and she was terrified. She was sure that they would track her down and take Gracie…"

Karenna sighed. "So she decided to leave – find an apartment in a completely different part of the city so they couldn't connect the two of us."

"And she left her daughter behind with you?" Lindsay asked a little incredulously. She simply couldn't imagine giving up Lucy like that. It'd be like losing her right arm, not to mention a massive chunk of her heart.

Karenna nodded. "I think it was the hardest decision she ever made. I was Gracie's mother on the paperwork though so…" She shrugged. "Over the next few years, she constantly moved – only ever signing up to six month leases so that she could get away quickly if she needed to. We'd meet every couple of weeks out of the city so that she could spend some time with Gracie. It wasn't the same obviously, and I thought she was taking it all a bit too far, but Helen was paranoid. I can't be positive, but I think there were probably things that she'd never told me about what happened with Gray's parents. She trusted me a hundred percent, but I believe she wanted to protect me too. After a while, I stopped arguing with her because Gracie…"

Karenna stopped and closed her eyes. "Gracie has always known that Helen is her Mom," she said when she opened them again, "But I was the one caring for her twenty-four/seven. It changed the dynamics of my relationship with her – she became my daughter as much as Helen's."

"So Grace is still with you?" Lindsay asked.

Karenna nodded. "Yes, she's at school right now. Mark took Ben to go pick her up."

"My boyfriend and our six month old son," Karenna explained off Lindsay's enquiring look. Her face clouded over a little. "Me and Helen haven't always been on the best of terms over the past few years," she confessed, "Mostly because of Mark, I think."

"She didn't approve of the relationship?"

"No, not really," Karenna said. "I'd kept Helen's secret for years, but when my relationship with Mark started to get serious, it was important for me to tell him the truth. It felt wrong to lie to him and I couldn't expect Gracie not mention her mother in front of him, especially as we were planning to live together as a family."

She sighed. "Mark thought we should go to the authorities, but he respected that it was ultimately Helen's decision. He said he could understand the way we'd reacted when we were just a couple of scared kids, but that we were adults now and should realise that the courts don't take children away from their mothers without good reason. Helen didn't like that, and she didn't like the fact that I kept seeing him afterwards, or that I got pregnant by him either. Me? I was stuck in the middle – I love them both and can see both their points of view. But this is my life not Helen's – Mark was the one for me and I couldn't let him go."

"So you think Mark informed Gray's parents of Helen's whereabouts?" Rachel asked her.

"What? No!" Karenna looked shocked. "He would never do that. He understands how much I love Gracie and he loves her too. Helen didn't trust him, but that's only because she was so scared of what might happen. He's a good man and, anyway, he doesn't know who Gray's parents are. I wouldn't back down on telling him the truth, but I did promise Helen that I'd keep their true names out of it."

She looked at them with wide, scared eyes. "Do you really think they killed her?" she asked in a small voice.

"That's something we'll need to look into further," Lindsay said matter-of-factly. "Did Helen have any other enemies that you know of?"

Karenna shook her head. "She kept herself to herself most of the time. She's had a few boyfriends, but nothing really serious, and apart from me, her friends have always been more casual acquaintances than close confidantes. She isolated herself so much more than she needed to. It was all for Gracie, but it was to the detriment of Helen's own life, I think. She was very lonely and I didn't know how to make it better for her. I suggested that maybe she could have Gracie to stay over so that they'd get to spend more quality time together, but she wouldn't risk it. It was like she believed that her isolation from us was the only thing that kept her baby safe."

Karenna paused to wipe away the tears streaming down her cheeks. "How am I supposed to tell Gracie?" she whispered. "And what if they're innocent? They'd be able to take her back, wouldn't they? I mean I'm not a blood relative and we falsified her birth certificate…" Her voice broke in sudden anguish.

Personally, Lindsay didn't think the family court would remove a child from a woman who had essentially been a second mother to her for the past nine years unless there was some strong evidence that it wouldn't be in the child's best interest to remain where she was. She couldn't guarantee that of course so she said nothing. It wasn't right to offer false hope.

It was crazy but she found herself hoping that Gray's parents had been involved in Helen's murder. She remembered the turmoil she felt when she'd discovered she was pregnant with Lucy. Because she and Danny hadn't been in best of places at the time, she'd had to seriously consider how she'd cope if she had to go it alone. It would have been hard, but she'd have done it because there was no way she could have aborted or given up her baby.

She admired both Helen and Karenna for the strength that they'd shown, even if their chosen course of action hadn't necessarily been the right one. Karenna had taken on her best friend's child, loved her as her own, while Helen had made the ultimate sacrifice to keep her child safe. It was a tragic story, but a strangely uplifting one too. But if poor Karenna were to lose young Grace now…

There was the scrape of a key in the lock then and Karenna rose to her feet and hurried forward as the door opened. A tall, broad-shouldered man of around thirty entered, pushing a baby stroller in front of him. A young girl followed closely on his heels, a heavy school bag slung over one shoulder and her dark hair secured in a long braid down her back. Lindsay recognised her resemblance to the toddler in the picture immediately.

"Karenna?" the man asked in concern when he noticed the tracks of tears on his girlfriend's cheeks.

"Gracie," Karenna said, turning to the young girl. "How about you make a start on your homework, honey? I'll bring you through some milk and cookies in a bit."

"But…" Grace objected, clearly realising that she was being sent out of earshot for a reason.

"I'll come and talk to you in a little while, I promise," Karenna said softly, reaching out to cup the child's pretty pixie face in her hand. She leaned forward and kissed the young girl's forehead. "I love you, baby – now scoot, okay?"

With some reluctance, Grace obeyed and Karenna turned back to her boyfriend. "Helen," she said simply, and then her face crumpled and she began to sob in earnest.

The shock on Mark's face was clearly apparent as he put his arms around his crying girlfriend and drew her close. He looked over her head at Lindsay and Rachel. "Umm who…?"

"Detectives Messer and Havers," Lindsay introduced the two of them.

The man's eyes widened. "I thought…" He shook his head. "I thought they were making a mountain out of a molehill..." he admitted guiltily. "Helen was always a little highly strung." He squared his jaw. "Are my family in danger?" he demanded. "Will they come after Karenna? Gracie…?"

"That's hard to say at this point," Lindsay told him. "Helen was murdered a couple of months ago…"

Mark blanched. "Jesus! That long?"

"Didn't you think it was unusual that she didn't get in touch?" Rachel asked.

"A little, yes, but… there was kind of a row the last time we saw her so…" He shrugged. "She was mad at Karenna and I, but I didn't think she'd stay away from Gracie for very long. We were starting to get worried, but Karenna was adamant we couldn't go to the cops."

"A row?" Rachel asked.

Mark nodded. "We err… went by her apartment one evening. We were going to invite her on a night out with friends. She went a little crazy because we'd come to her place and also because we'd left Gracie with a babysitter."

"I was worried about her," Karenna said, lifting her face from her boyfriend's chest. "She was getting so insular. It had been nine years; I thought it was time for her to relax a little. Gracie was asking questions too – she'd always accepted the way things were because she didn't really know any different, but I think she was starting to realise our domestic situation wasn't exactly normal. She's been angry, disruptive recently… Ben's arrival has stirred things up for her and I think she feels a little rejected. I thought it was time she knew the truth, but Helen wanted to keep her wrapped up in cotton wool. She just didn't understand that it was doing Gracie more harm than good not properly explaining things to her."

"So you argued?" Lindsay said.

Karenna nodded. "Yes, and I guess it got pretty heated. I told her she needed to step up as a mother rather than running away all the time, and she accused me of trying to drive a wedge between her and Gracie in return."

"I think she thought we wanted rid of Grace too," Mark interjected. "She figured that now we had Ben and each other that there was no room for Gracie anymore."

"But that was never true," Karenna said vehemently. "I wanted Gracie to have more time with her Mom, because that's what she needed, but I never wanted to give her up. I'm her Mom too, the thought of not having her in my life…" She shuddered.

"If you want to keep your family together, we need names, Karenna," Lindsay said, sensing an opening where previously the door had been shut.

"But what if they find us?" Karenna said in a frightened tone.

"There is no reason for them to know where our information comes from. If it leads to a trial, you may be called as a witness, but right now we can keep you anonymous."

"And what about Karenna?" Mark asked. "Do I need to get her a lawyer? I mean she and Helen essentially committed identity fraud, didn't they?"

"I can't really say what will happen," Lindsay said, "That's not within our jurisdiction. There are extenuating circumstances here though…" She glanced down at the baby in the stroller who had just begun to stir. "Consult a lawyer by all means however – it's best to be prepared for all eventualities."

"Karenna…" Mark looked at his girlfriend appealingly. "You've got to tell them. For Helen's sake, for Gracie's… and for Ben's," he finished as the baby let out a loud wail to indicate he was awake and in need of attention.

Karenna shook her head. "I don't know… I can't… I promised Helen." She moved to pick up her child. "He needs changing," she said absently.

"I'll do it," Lindsay offered, sensing that if anyone was going to persuade Karenna to divulge Grace's grandparents' names it was her boyfriend. "The two of you should take some time to discuss this."

"I have a four year old," she said off Karenna's slightly wary look. She pulled out the picture of Lucy that she kept in her purse and showed it to the other woman by way of evidence. "I've changed plenty of diapers in my time, believe me."

"She's beautiful," Karenna commented.

Lindsay smiled. "Yeah, and a handful just like her Daddy, but I wouldn't be without her."

Karenna hesitated a moment longer and then handed over her baby. Mark took her by the arm. "Is it all right if we discuss this in private?" he asked Lindsay, who nodded her assent as she jigged the whimpering baby up-and-down in her arms.

"Was that wise?" Rachel asked when the young couple went through into their bedroom. "They could have killed her too, you know. You heard what they said – there was a row. Maybe Helen threatened to take Grace back and Karenna lost it."

Lindsay frowned. "After all the steps they've taken to keep that child safe?" She shook her head. "They're family and family sticks together."

"You can't ignore the possibility," Rachel said. "For all you know, things may have gotten out of hand. It does happen, you know."

Lindsay didn't abide by the theory, but she reluctantly admitted that Rachel was right. It was an avenue that needed to be looked into. "Can you pass me the diaper bag?" she said.

"Diaper bag?" Rachel looked confused.

Lindsay waved her hand at the stroller. "The blue and white checked bag," she instructed.

Taking the bag from Rachel, she knelt on the floor and withdrew the changing mat then placed the wriggling six-month old down on it and began to pull off the little sweatpants he wore. "Well, aren't you just a gorgeous little cupcake, huh?" she crooned as she flipped open the tabs on his dirty diaper.

"I don't know how you can do that," Rachel remarked, wrinkling her nose as Lindsay wiped the tiny boy's bottom clean with a couple of scrunched up baby wipes.

Lindsay laughed. "You kind of get immune after a while," she said.

She smiled down into the baby's face, who was gazing up at her mesmerised as she expertly fastened the clean diaper on him. "I've always wondered what it would like to have a boy," she mused absently, forgetting to whom she was speaking. "Danny was convinced he would be getting a son, but I don't know, I think I always knew we'd have a girl. Still, maybe next time, huh?"

"You and Danny have discussed having another baby?" Rachel's voice was tight and Lindsay froze.

"I… I'm sorry, that was insensitive."

"He wants another child?" Rachel went on sceptically. "He told you that, did he? He always told me that he would have to seriously consider it before he'd go down that road again."

Lindsay felt a chill at that. Had Danny just been telling her what he thought she wanted to hear then? Did he really not want another baby? But he loved being a Daddy, didn't he? Lucy was the apple of his eye. Why wouldn't he want to experience that a second time around?

Before Lindsay could press her for further details though, Rachel's cell rang and she turned away to answer it. "Detective Havers?"

There was a short pause followed by a sharp intake of breath. "What? When?" Another pause. "How bad?" A beat. "Which hospital?"

"Okay, okay, I'll be there as soon as I can." She shut off the call and turned back to Lindsay, deep lines of worry etched into her face.

"What?" Lindsay said, a feeling of dread settling like a block of ice in the pit of her stomach. "What's wrong?"

Rachel drew in a deep breath before answering. "Danny's been shot…"

To be continued…