Introduction
Rima stomped in, making Tsuki jump.
"Oh, just go away, you demon spawn," Tsuki growled, turning up the volume on her speakers. "I'm busy."
Rima peeked over her shoulder, to see megavideo playing "Fullmetal Alchemist 17".
"DON'T CALL ME SHORT!" a small blond boy yelled on the screen.
Tsuki paused the anime episode and turned around stiffly, stretching her cramped limbs from being cooped up in the computer chair for so long. "Well? What is it, Mashiro?" she asked, scratching under her Haruhi brigade leader armband.
Rima glared off to the side. "This is it."
All the readers were jumbled up in the corner, glaring at her. Tsuki shuddered.
"Update every Tuesday, huh?" questioned meow120123.
"That's what she saaaaaiiid..." began Ivy34325.
"... but she didn't mention NOT LIVING UP TO IT! HUH?" finished Ice Amethyst 12.
"stop it! Jesus!" said Tsuki, rocking back in forth maniacally in her computer chair.
"We want our Gakuen Alice crossover!" yelled Chika Hoshi.
"UPDAAAAATTEEE!!!" called the readers, their voice reverberating around the room as they swayed back and forth in sync like a dense monster, while their chibi spirits leaked out of their mouths. "UPDAAAAATTTEEE!!! HURRRYYYY!!! BEFORE WE EEEAAATTT YOOOOOOOUUU!!!"
"RIGHT AWAY!" squeaked Tsuki-no-kimi, hurriedly opening up Microsoft Word.
"What is that?" Rima snapped at Tadase. He was on his newly acquired portable DVD player... again. "That's the most annoying song I've ever heard!"
The opening song that was irking Rima Mashiro so much seemed to be increasingly cheerful and had a lot of alarm rings and beeps in the chorus.
"I know this song," said Nagihiko serenely, shuffling through his 100-page essay. "It's by Kana Ueda."
"PIKAPIKANO... NYO ISH SHO NYO TAIYOU NIIIIIIII!!!!" screamed Kana Ueda out of the tiny built-in speakers.
Rima glared at it. "You're watching shojo anime on there, Tadase? What the hell's wrong with you?"
"Nothing's wrong with me," Tadase said loftily. The he melted back into a sweet-innocent-little-boy. "it's called Gakuen Alice and it's so happy and cheerful..."
Just at that moment, a voice came out of the speakers. "Hey, ugly!"
"Nice and cheerful," Rima said sarcastically. "was that the King of Happiness just there?"
"No, that was Natsume Hyuuga..."
"What are you watching?!" asked Amu when she came around later to see two blonds and a dark-haired figure huddled around the small screen.
"shut up," said Rima, her eyes glued to the screen. "Natsume's about to blow up the transvestite with his Fire Alice!"
"there's nothing wrong with Narumi cross-dressing," Nagihiko meekly reminded them, but they ignored him.
"AAHH!" said Amu in horror, looking at the blond teacher on the screen. "is that a guy or a girl?"
"we think it's a guy because he has no boobs," said Rima.
"that makes you a guy then, Rima-chii," said Nagihiko, grinning evilly at her. "OW!!"
"that's what you get," said Rima brusquely, waving her purse around threateningly.
"Nah," Amu shook her head. "no guy would be caught dead in that shirt."
"actually, I have a similar one at home," Nagihiko muttered, but no one heard him.
"Whatcha y'all doing, Amu-chii, Rima-taaaan?" said Yaya, flouncing up to the growing congregation. "WOOOOW!!! Sugoi-ne! That little blond boy has an Usa-chan! Chibiusa, chibiusa!" (A/N: Sugoi = 'amazing' in this context. Usa-chan = childish way of saying 'Usagi' (Rabbit). Chibiusa = name of Sailor Moon's daughter, because what's Sailor Moon's real name? Usagi. "chibiusa" kind of is like "bunny".)
"that's Ruka-pyon," said Tadase.
"who's the girl with the kawaii pigtails, Tada-chan?"
"Oh. Mikan."
"she has hair just like me!" said Yaya happily. "pigtails, desu!" Yaya was thoughtful for a few minutes.
"Yaya-chan? Are you OK?" asked Amu, peering around the screen at her.
"Let's..." she began, and her eyes sparked like a match. "Let's... USE THE ALTERNATE DIMENSION UNIVERSE MACHINE TO GET INTO GAKUEN ALIIIICCCCEEE!!!!"
*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Yaya, who was lugging the big refrigerator box out of school storage, kept muttering, "It's Yaya's nap-time."
"then go to sleep!" whined Amu.
"fine!" huffed Yaya. "but you have to stay here with me so that the monsters don't eat me during nap-time and so we can go into the alternate dimension when I wake... uuuuppp.... she slumped onto the desk and the ex-guardians assembled, grimacing as they did.
Yaya quickly fell asleep, and after a few minutes a scene came before her eyes.
"Rima-taaan!" Yaya cried. "your beautiful hair is all short now!"
Before Rima could answer, Amu came into view. Her pinky-purple hair was in two pigtails.
"HOTARUUUU!!!" Amu yelled, and tried to Glomp Hotaru-Rima.
Rima loaded her gun, which had appeared to make the noise and had hit her. "don't yell, dummy." Hotaru-Rima glared.
"Hotaru... Why are you so mean?" said Amu, tearing up.
"humph. Oh," said Hotaru-Rima, turning around, "it's Ruka-pyon. Ne, look, Ruka-pyon. I can sell these for a HUGE profit." She waved a stack of photographs.
"What?!" said Nagihiko, whose hair had gone blond. "HEEEYYY!!! IMAI! GET BACK WITH THOSE!" Yaya managed to get a look at the pictures – they were of Nagihiko-Ruka dancing all shiny-eyed with... a giant chick?
Hotaru-Rima hopped on a flying duck-thing and Nagihiko ran helter-skelter after her, yelling profanities. Amu ran after the load of them, before seeing Tsukasa humming and wandering off.
"NARUMI-SENSEI!" Mikan-Amu shouted, running after him. Narumi-Tsukasa smiled serenely. "Hello, Mikan-chan – Oh." A cat with a human body appeared to be trying to burn down the boundary wall.
"Shit – I mean, Oh Fiddlesticks!" said Narumi-Tsukasa, starting to hum the Jaws theme song. "That demonic kitty's trying to escape again. Try not to get exploded, Mikan-chan!"
"O-ok!" said Mikan, sounding extremely confused.
Tsukasa-Narumi skipped up and the person glared at him. Actually, he was almost as tall as Tsukasa for someone who was supposed to be an elementary school kid.
"Natsume?" asked Mikan-Amu curiously.
"Hush you. I'm trying to blow up this perverted jerk."
"NO!" yelled Mikan-Amu. "He's our teacher!"
"It's OK, Mikan-chaaaan... I have WHIPS!" said Tsukasa-Narumi, eyes glowing evilly.
"Whips?" demanded mask-guy. "See? Tell me that's NOT perverted, ugly!"
"I'm not ugly, you jerk!" Mikan-Amu yelled at him.
"Sure you're not. Then stop rolling your skirt up, you prostitute. I can see your panties."
Oh, yeah. There was something familiar about the way this guy talked.(A/N: by now, you must definitely know who Natsume is...)
Tsukasa-Narumi threw what looked like a bunch of lentils at Natsume, and that's when his mask fell off when he jumped to avoid it.
It's IKUTO! Thought Yaya.
"Mikan-chan! Natsume-san!" yelled a very feminine-sounding voice, skipping up along with Hotaru-Rima and Nagihiko-Ruka. It was... Tadase. With glasses.
"Oh, perfect," mumbled Hotaru-Rima. "Mikan's getting tangled up with the Black Cat again. Calm down, Iincho."
"A black cat... who brings nothing but MISFORTUNE!!!" said Iincho-Tadase dramatically.
"Don't say it like that," said Nagihiko-Ruka meekly to Hotaru-Rima. "It sounds sexual."
Hotaru-Rima raised an eyebrow. "Like it's not?"
"YES!" yelled Nagihiko-Ruka and Mikan-Amu at the same time. "IT'S NOT!"
Hotaru-Rima shrugged.
"YOOOOOOU!" yelled Iincho-Tadase accusingly, pointing a finger at Natsume-Ikuto.
"Oh hello, four-eyes," said Natsume-Ikuto distastefully.
Tsuki-no-kimi paused typing for a minute, at a loss for words, but a few glares from the peanut gallery got her hurrying on her way.
"You can't try and break out of Gakuen Alice, Natsume!" cried Iincho-Tadase tearfully. "It's our home!"
"as long as that Emo-Goth Persona is running the place, it's sure as hell not my home," said Natsume-Ikuto, glaring at Gozen. He was wearing a long black coat and a hell of a lot of jewelry and makeup.
"Naaaaastumeeee...." Persona-Gozen called creepily. "you were called on a miiiiiishuuuuunnn..."
"Oh, shut up, the fanbase doesn't even like you anyway," said Natsume-Ikuto, reluctantly climbing down the fence.
Tsukasa bobbed his head up and down like a bobblehead.
Tsuki-no-kimi pushed the keyboard in furiously. "It's no use!" she wept. "I don't want to write a crossover! I miss the normal Nagi and Ri-Ri-tan..."
"It's Rima!" cut in Rima furiously.
"...and Ikuto-chan and Amu-chi and Yaya-tan and maybe even Tada-gay," Tsuki finished.
"There, there," said Nagihiko, being kind and sensitive as usual. "Why don't you just cut this crossover short and get started on my bi- I mean, the next chapter. I'm sure the readers will understand." He gave the readers a sad look. "Won't you?"
"Y-yes," they all stammered, going red, and Rima started punching her hand threateningly.
"Then get started," said Ikuto in his low voice, closing Fullmetal Alchemist.
Edward Elric started crying.
"what's wrong, Nii-san?" asked Al, distressed.
"Stupid Tsuki-no-kimi is giving more attention to Shugo Chara! then she is to me and everyone else here at Fullmetal Alchemist!" said Ed sadly, as Al passed him his handkerchief. "Stupid fangirls, making her go back to the dark side!"
"But they do have cookies," reasoned Al, as Tsuki-no-kimi firmly ended the chapter.
I've returned to the dark side to get meh cookies! And to see you lovely readers again! Sorry I couldn't include you all in the introduction, but I daresay I'm liking writing myself into the story at the beginning more and more. –sigh-.
Sorry for the random interruptions in the middle of the chapter where I cry at my writer's block, it'll be gone after this (if I ever get comfortable with writing again...)
I'm sorry, Ed... –cries- I'll be back to watch FMA soon...
By the way, if you haven't watched FMA I highly recommend it, even if you don't like Shonen like Bleach or Naruto. Because I didn't like either... (Bleach has too many fillers, and I refuse to be even caught dead watching some dude in an orange snowsuit eat ramen), I didn't watch FMA until a while ago and now I'm a Roy Mustang fan! -waves banners-.
I'm also thinking about shortening the story to 40 chapters now. Because, I mean, I love this story so much and I wonder what I'll do without it (Tsuki-no-kimi = has no life) but it's sad that people have to read all 37 chapters! I mean, there are some real-life books that are shorter than that!
Anyway, a hint as to what the next chapter will be about is in Chapter 23 (His Big Fat Kabuki Book). Look for the dates mentioned in 23 if you want to get anywhere!
--
Mysteries That Will Be Solved in Chapter 38:
Nagihiko's father.
The date and time.
Why Naghiko has Bella Syndrome (BS for short... HA!)
Why that old lady that lives in the Fujisaki house is so weird.
--
- Tsukichii~*