NOTE - "/Speech bracketed like this signifies Japanese./"

CHAPTER 36

"It's a miracle he's not seriously injured," the doctor said. "And lucky his rib wasn't re-broken too."

Max asked, "Is he going to be alright? He doesn't look good."

"Of course not. How do you expect him to look after that? Don't worry, he'll live. Of course, if he's been infected with HIV that's a different story," he quipped. Max looked less than pleased with the causal attitude. "Hey look on the bright side. At least he won't get pregnant. I'll give him some antibiotics and let him sleep here tonight."

Max looked ready to explode but Ash's voice drew his attention and cut off his response.

"Doctor." When the doctor turned to him, Ash said, "I've got a headache. Do you have something I can take for it?"

"You have a headache? That's your only complaint?"

"I don't take pills. Can't stand the taste, you know?"

The doctor retrieved the medication. "Picky, aren't you kid? Here's a capsule. Happy now?"

"Thanks."

"Actually, I'm not supposed to dispense medication for headaches or colds," he commented while getting a glass of water. "Some guys lie to get drugs and then save them up until they have enough to get high. So be sure to swallow it." The doctor watched to see Ash take the medication, but not as closely as usual. He'd seen the confusion and surprise on Ash's face while he spoke, the boy was obviously not a druggie. And he was so young and had to be in so much pain, the doctor suspected the 'headache' was just the boy's way of looking strong.

No one noticed Ash palm the capsule and slip it into his pocket. Once the doctor left the room, Max sat on the chair next to the bed and said, "You know, your trouble is just beginning."

"How's that?" Ash returned. By his reckoning, his troubles began the day Griffin was drafted.

"Garvey. He's taken a liking to you," Max warned. "He'll attack you again."

Ash didn't doubt the man would try. "No more for me, thanks," Ash said, looking away. Something had been different then, something not there any other time Ash had been raped. It was almost as though he wasn't alone there. He'd even thought for a moment he heard Tommy, like his brother was there. Or like Ash was somewhere else. It was impossible but Ash still couldn't shake the feeling that he and Tommy were together. Somewhere. Whatever was going on there was something both more dangerous than they'd faced before and with higher stakes. It made no sense. Ash had been getting these feelings for awhile now, since Tommy's fourteenth birthday, but never so strong, so real. Always before it had been just feelings. He'd just feel like Tommy was thinking about him, or that Tommy was happy or tired or scared. But it was never so intense, and it was never anything he could put into words. Not like this.

Max just watched Ash for a long moment, wondering what was going on in the kid's mind. "He said you gave in, just like that."

Can't fight or He'll kill them all. Can't fight. He's too strong. He'll make me that again. Ash frowned, unable to understand the thoughts replaying in his head. Why was he hearing Tommy's voice saying such things? I need to get to California soon, he thought to himself. "That sounds like an accusation, Pops."

"I didn't mean it like that."

"If I put up a fight," Ash began. He'll kill everyone. He's too Powerful. He can own me so easily. Please don't let me fall. Don't let him win. Help me. Please. Someone. Help me. Hear me! Ash's voice caught for a second at Tommy's plea. After a moment, he finished, "They might have killed me."

"That's true." Max could see it really was bothering Ash. Changing the subject, he grabbed the tray he'd brought down as an excuse to return. "Anyway look. I brought you some dinner. Eat up."

Ash stared at the tray, not quite seeing anything on it. Food? Tommy's voice said. So hungry. Thirsty.

Drawing his own conclusions about Ash's distant expression, Max laughed uncomfortable. "I guess you don't even want to see a banana, huh? Want me to eat it for you?"

Max reached for it but Ash stabbed his fork into it without conscious thought, causing Max to jerk back in surprise. When Ash started eating the banana, Tommy's voice grew quiet again. Ash noticed Max moving to leave and, deciding this was the most privacy he'd ever find, decided it was time to find out what Max knew. Paying attention for his reaction, Ash said, "Banana Fish."

Max froze, a mixture of shock and pain and loss crossing his face. He turned back to Ash and breathed, "What did you just say?" When Ash just looked at him, he demanded, "Banana Fish! Isn't that what you said? What do you know about Banana Fish?"

That was a more intense reaction than Ash expected. Calmly, Ash responded, "Why are you getting so bent out of shape? It's just the name of some fish in a Salinger story. That's all."

"LIAR! You know something! I can tell by your reactions!"

Why's it mean so much to him, Aslan? Tommy's voice questioned in his mind. And you think you could get a drink? That banana helped. Ash kept his expression coldly blank, refusing to react to either Max or Tommy. But he did finish his water which he'd only taken a swallow of earlier.

"ASH!" Max moved in close, desperation clear in his every word and action. "Ash, please tell me! Do you know where he is? Is that why Charlie asked me to protect you?"

Ash met his gaze. "You just said 'do you know where he is'. So 'Banana Fish' is the name of a person?"

"That's right," Max said, more calmly now, sounding weary. "I've been investigating for ten years and that much I've found out."

"Is that all you know? Who is this 'Banana Fish'?"

Max just looked at him a moment then grinned. "Are you trying to cut a deal? If I tell you what I know, will you tell me what you know?"

Ash smirked. "I don't know anything. I just like the way the name sounds." He heard the sound of Tommy's laughter in response to this, then Tommy said, I've missed you, Aslan. I'm gonna stay here for now, okay? Just until it's safe to go back.

Stay as long as you want, little brother, Ash thought in silence. He wasn't sure what was going on, maybe he was going insane, but he'd rather be insane and hear his little brother like this than to have nothing of him.

"You never let your guard down, do you?" Max said, drawing Ash's attention back to him. "I like you, kid. That's the sign of a true leader."

Ash said nothing to this. "Why have you spent ten years tracking down this Banana Fish?"

Max sat in silence for a long moment, deep in thought. When he began speaking, he sounded world weary and haggard, like a man who'd been through more than anyone should see and lived to try to forget the tale. It was a feeling Ash was very familiar with, and in that moment he felt more kinship with this man than he'd thought possible. Then Max's actual words cut through Ash like a knife. "I have this friend. Ten years ago, when I served in Vietnam. This buddy of mine took some bad drug that was making the rounds. He died. He was a good guy. He was young. About eighteen. He liked poetry, used to write some himself."

"What was his name?" Ash quietly asked.

"Huh?"

"What was your friend's name?" Ash demanded this time.

Max looked confused but answered, "Griffin. We all called him Griff."

Ash looked at Max in a new light, and he felt his heart shatter in grief and loss.

"Why? What is it?" Max asked, unsure he wanted to know what put that look in Ash's eyes.

"Max is … is your name Max Glenreed?"

"H-how do you know my real name? Lobo is my pen name," Max admitted.

"You," Ash breathed. Max Lobo, the man he'd found annoying but kind, the man he'd protected, that he'd grown to like, that he'd felt a kinship with, was Max Glenreed. A name he'd discovered long ago, one that haunted him since finding Griffin. Ash looked at Max and wished for ignorance. But he couldn't un-know something. "I have a real name too, Max. It's Aslan. Aslan Callenreese."

Max's eyes grew big, total shock written plainly across his face. "Y-you mean … you're Griff's little brother Aslan? He showed me a picture of you and Tommy but … you were like six, seven years old in it. You're really …"

"That's me."

Max laughed nervously and babbled, "I can't believe it! Griff's little brother. What an incredible coincidence! What a place to run into each other!" Max glanced at Ash's face, saw the hard look of the boy's face. It was a look he recognized from the war. It was the face of someone that had killed and knew they could do it again, even if they didn't want to. It was the face of someone willing to do what they had to do but doing their best to protect themselves while they did it. He'd seen it in many of the men he'd served with, in his own expression, but he never saw it in Griffin. That must have been how he missed their striking resemblance. "Wow. You two couldn't be more different! Your brother was a calm, quiet poet." He never learned to kill without hurting himself. Not until that night.

"That's right. My brother loved to write. He sent me a lot of letters. I know all about you." Why you?

Tommy's voice commented, Trust is dangerous, Aslan. I forgot that too.

"Is that so? Well Griff and I were -"

"I know you're the one who shot him."

Max fell silent. Ash continued, "I know you abandoned him in 'Nam."

"Hey… You've got it all wrong. He … your brother killed our buddies! He was … Look, I didn't have any choice! Griff wasn't himself. That drug messed up his brain. He would have killed all of us!"

"What you say makes sense. You didn't have a choice," Ash said, looking down. Why did it have to be you? "But my brother trusted you. He wrote about you in his letters. He said you were his only friend. He trusted you."

Max fell silent, Ash's words cutting him deeply. Ash met his eyes and said, "You know my brother still can't use his legs. But it couldn't be helped, right?"

A moment passed, then the meaning of Ash's words hit Max full force. "H-he's still alive? Where is he? I've gotta see him!"

"He wouldn't even recognize you!" Ash yelled in pain and anger. Max fell back into his forgotten chair, shocked at the sudden and intense show of emotion. Ash continued, "He doesn't even recognize me! You said it yourself. That drug messed up his brain! And you … you left him to rot like that!"

Silence fell heavy over the room as the two glared at each other, pain and anger and loss and guilt suffocating them. The door opened and the doctor returned.

"Max? You're still here? It's passed lights out, you better get back to your cell," the doctor said, doing his best to ignore the tense atmosphere.

"Yeah… Sorry doc," Max said, heading to the door. "Get some rest, Ash. We'll talk more later."

"When I get out of here, I'm going to kill you," Ash promised, ignoring the hint of regret those words brought to him. "Goodnight, Lobo. I used to like your column."

888

Max spend most the next day sitting in his cell, staring at a picture of Griffin and two little boys. Dear God. Griffin's little brother! They look so similar … although Griff said they all had different mothers. Maybe that's why I got that strange feeling when I met him.

"Damn." Max leaned forward, rested his head in his hands. "After all this time … why?"

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"You're out?" Charlie repeated, shocked. He'd wondered why Max asked to speak to him alone when he stepped inside, after telling Eiji Ash wouldn't be coming again today. "What do you mean?"

"I mean just that. I can't handle this anymore. I'm giving up on Banana Fish too. And prison life. I'm going to talk to my lawyer and get out of here."

"Wait a second! You can't just run away! His life is in danger!"

"LISTEN!" Max yelled. "I'm not running away! As long as I'm involved, he's never going to help you!"

"What are you talking about?"

"He hates me, Charlie." Max looked broken. More broken than he had even right after returning from Vietnam. Charlie remained quiet as his old friend recounted the details.

"I see," was all he said when Max was done.

"I'm sorry I can't help you. The irony of it … after all this time."

"Don't be too hard on yourself, Max. You did what you had to do."

"That's what I used to think. The truth is, it brought a lot of trouble down on my head. And I resented the insinuations that I could have handled it differently. Maybe it was a guilty conscience that made me chase after 'Banana Fish' all this time."

Charlie was quiet. Max looked up, met his eyes for a second before looking down again. "It's not Ash's fault, you know. I don't really think he was talking to me so much. He's just a kid, Charlie. He's just a kid unable to grieve for his big brother that's still alive but not there."

"Alright. I'll explain to the chief. If there's anything I can do for you, just let me know," Charlie said, while standing.

"So dedicated. When I get out of here, fix me up with a hot date, will ya?"

They both froze when Ash stepped into the room, Ash's gaze locked with Max's, such a mixture of emotions visible in their eyes that Charlie felt like an intruder witnessing it. No one moved, no one spoke for the longest time. Then Ash said, without looking away from Max, "Eiji not here?"

"He's outside, I'll get him," Charlie offered, almost running to get away from them. Ibe and Eiji entered at his call. Ibe stopped just inside the door beside Charlie, shocked at the intensity of the silence between Ash and Max. Eiji walked to Ash's side and threw his arms around the other boy. Ash looked shocked for just a second before a soft smile touched his lips and he turned his attention to Eiji. Max slipped out the door in silence.

"I was worried," Eiji said into Ash's shoulder. "Max said Dino visited you and Charlie couldn't stop it and then I didn't see you yesterday. I was afraid he hurt you or … or killed you."

"I'm fine, Ei-chan," Ash assured softly.

"No one knew anything! He could have killed you! I … Ash, I do not want you to die."

"Dino Golzine does not want me dead," he stated with such surety that Eiji stopped rambling and looked up to Ash's eyes. Ash smiled at the fear for him he saw in Eiji's eyes and told him, "Dino doesn't see me as that big a threat, Eiji. He wants something from me but … well, the main thing he wants, he can't get if I'm dead. He's sick but not that sick."

Charlie put a hand over his mouth, feeling sick as he realized the meaning behind Ash's words, hearing the confirmation of what he'd feared the moment he heard where Dino set up to see Ash. Eiji, however, only heard Dino didn't want Ash dead and he smiled. "He did not hurt you?" Eiji asked, innocently.

I like him, Tommy commented in Ash's thoughts, causing Ash to smile. "I'm fine." It was not an answer but Ash hoped Eiji would take it that way. "Visiting hours're almost over. Sorry." He leaned down and kissed Eiji. Though shocked at the move, Eiji relaxed into it, his eyes going wide in understanding when he felt the capsule against his cheek. Ash released the kiss and said, "I have to go now."

Eiji watched with a shocked expression as Ash left the room. Charlie and Ibe came over to him after a moment.

"/Ei-chan? You okay?/"

"/I …/" Eiji felt the capsule again. "/I gotta go to the bathroom./"

Ibe watched as Eiji ran out. "/Ei-chan. Don't tell me that was your first kiss!/"

888

Inside the bathroom stall, out of sight of all people and cameras, Eiji spit out the capsule and found a note stuffed inside.

Eiji - I'm being watched so this was the only way. I want you to go to a shop called Chang Da on Canal Street in Chinatown and give a message to Shorter Wong. Mention my name and they should let you see him. Tell him I want him to get the thing I gave Dr. Meredith and hide it in a safe place. And to move the people. I know it's dangerous. I'm asking you because only an Asian can get through Chinatown without attracting attention. Please be very careful and don't tell anyone about this! - Ash

Eiji thought on that. Shorter Wong? Oh - the guy with the Mohawk.

Ibe called from outside the door, "/Ei-chan? Are you alright in there?/"

"/Y-yeah! I'll be right out./" He stuffed the note deep in his pocket before heading out. "…the thing I gave Dr. Meredith"… Is that the evidence Charlie's been talking about? What could possibly scare an underworld boss so badly? If he did all that to Ash and he doesn't want him dead, what will he do? Is Ash really okay?

"/Ei-chan!/"

Eiji snapped out of his thoughts, turned to Ibe. He wondered when they got outside. "/Did you say something, Ibe-san?/"

Ibe laid a hand on Eiji's shoulder. "/Don't let it bother you./"

"/Huh?/" How does he know …

"/To Americans, kissing is just like shaking hands./"

Oh! That's what he thinks is bothering me! Shaking hands? I do not see Ash shaking hands as freely as most do let alone kissing! "/Yeah. Sure./"

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Continued - Let me know what you think. Review