Hello, I finally update! :D I know it's been a long time and the only excuse I have is that I couldn't write. I had to rewrite chapter 37 all over again because I was not satisfy with what I had. I still don't quite like this chapter. Something feels missing to. I might rewrite it again in the future. The note will be long so I will put the rest at the end. Thanks for all the reviews and reading :D
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Chapter 37
"You've returned," said Katsumi as she took another step on the tree branch, twenty something feet above the ground, toward Daisuke with the grace of a queen. Daisuke glanced her way before looking back to the village. The humans were busy going on about their day, getting ready for the night. The women prepared dinner; the scent of cooked foods and smoke cloaked the entire village; the men returned from the fields, the older children helped with whatever chore they could while the younger ones ran around chasing after one another, some screaming at the top of their lungs while laughing whole heartedly. It was a fascinating sight.
"Hm." Daisuke responded. He sat on a tall tree that had a good view of both the village and the forest, giving him an idea of what was going on.
"Did she give you an answer?" Katsumi sat down beside him, looking at the view too.
"Yes," he responded, his eyes focused ahead.
"The answer is to your liking, I assume?" she stole a glance at him; her voice was calm as always. A while back Rin had asked him to have a talk. Katsumi could not help but be concern. However, from his expression, the answer must be a good one. Or not a bad one, at least, because he did not appear like someone who had just had his heart smashed.
"Actually, no. She turned me down." He finally looked at her, his ocean blue eyes met with hers.
"Oh, she did?" It was not hard to guess that the human would turn him down. Rin was deeply in love with another and she had not seen Daisuke in such light. But the fact that he did not seem to be affected by the rejection as much as Katsumi had predicted, which she was grateful, was a little confusing her. She knew how serious he was about the girl.
"It's not over yet." Daisuke explained.
Of course, Katsumi thought as a smile found its way to her lips.
"Does she know?" she wondered what Rin had to say to that.
"Yeah. We can stay friends. I'm satisfied with that. For now. But I'm not giving up."
He remembered the surprise look on Rin's face when he told her so. She had expected their relationship, which was not much of a relationship to begin with, to end the moment she told him no, but she knew too little of him. That was one of the reasons why he would not give her up. She had yet to know him. He could make her fall in love him. It just needed time. And as long as she allowed him to be a part of her life, not cutting him off entirely, no matter how little of time she was willing to give, he would make full use of it.
He remembered clearly how serious and determined her face looked when she told him her decision. They had walked into a field of wild flowers alongside the forest. The sun would be setting in an hour or so. He knew the answer even before she opened her mouth.
"Thank you for your kindness and the offering, but I will not go with you." She paused and bowed her head to him. He could tell the consideration she had from her face that she did not wish to hurt him. She was an open book after all, not that he was much different. She understood the pain of being rejected and did not wish to inflict that pain on him. That was why he could not act sad in front of her. She carried enough burdens as it is. All he ever wanted was to comfort her, if only she would let him. He sighed, but with an easy smile on his face.
"No, just as I thought."
"Just as you thought?" Rin repeated, feeling a little relief that he did not take it too hard. Maybe she was a little over dramatic to think that he would be sadder. "You already knew that I would say no?"
"It's not hard to guess. You will never go against Lord Sesshomaru's wish. After he made it clear by attacking me, there was no way you would still go with me. You will always do what pleases him."
"That's not always true." She protested, feeling a little relaxed now seeing how carefree he was about the subject. They both continued their walk. "It may be true that we have never had a conflict because there has been no reason. But that doesn't mean I will not disobey him when I know I'm in the right." Like when she decided to help Kagura, the wind sorcerer who worked under Naraku, their fatal enemy ten years ago. Kagura had come to see Sesshomaru, riding on a large white feather, but lost consciousness and fell into the river. She was being washed away. Rin stepped into the water trying to pull her out despite Sesshomaru's order to ignore the wind sorcerer.
"What are you going to do now? Go back with Lord Sesshomaru?" Daisuke assumed, walking beside her.
"No. I'm staying here."
He paused, surprised. "You are staying here?"
Rin who had been walking a little ahead stopped and turned to face him. "Yes."
"Will Lord Sesshomaru be okay with that?"
"I don't know. But I'm staying."
He stared at her in awe, and did not want to believe his own ears. But a smile found its way to his lips, noting the determination in her voice. It was her resolution. She had spent the whole afternoon thinking and she decided to stay behind no matter what.
But why was he so surprised? This was the girl who had shot an arrow at him when they were betting on the hunt. She was confident she would not hit him, but was close enough to show that she was dangerous. She may appear meek and obedient most of the time, but she could be extremely stubborn when she had her mind set.
"Can I come and visit you sometime?" he asked. He still had to escort Katsumi to the Western Palace, but he would return on his way back.
Rin did not know what to answer. It was true that there were times when she would disobey Sesshomaru, but she did not want to go out of her way to displease him. After the battle today, she doubted Sesshomaru would want Daisuke near her. The decision to stay behind should already be enough to leave Sesshomaru in wrath, and if she were to add Daisuke to the equation, it would be ugly. Really ugly. Sesshomaru probably would never forgive her.
Even so, she could not be rude to Daisuke, Katsumi's friend. Most of all, he had not done anything to deserve such harsh treatment. But she had to make things clear to not lead him on.
"I cannot be anything more than a friend to you. I… My feelings will not change." The sunlight was soft as the wind blew past them. She knew she would love Sesshomaru until the day she died.
"And so is mine." Daisuke smoothly closed the distance between them and grasped one of her hands.
"Don't waste your time on me." She pleaded.
"It is my choice how I spend it."
"It will only be a waste." She would be dilly-dallying with her feelings and would not give him the time of the day.
"I will be the one to decide."
"You are persistent." Rin frowned slightly.
He chuckled, "I am hard working."
On a more serious note, he continued, "I know you are not ready for another love right now. I know you will always love him. But, that doesn't mean you cannot grow to love me too. You are a very considerate and caring person. I know you will grow to care for me too. It may not be the same love as you have for him, but feelings can change.
"I am willing to wait. One year, two years, five years, or even ten years, I can wait. Wait until you are ready to move on. Right now, being friends is fine. I will not force my feelings on you.
"You don't have to worry about anything. Treat me like you did before I asked for your hand. You can think of me as one of your friends. Just be yourself."
"Why do you like me so much?" she could not help asking, looking right into his eyes. "Why me?" she could not understand.
"Why should I not like you?"
Rin blushed at his answer, the way his soft eyes looked at her as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. His eyes were so clear, showing all his thoughts unlike Sesshomaru who barely showed any emotion on his face. Daisuke let go of her hand and they started walking again.
"You are brave, considerate, caring, beautiful, lovely," his hands once again rested on the back of his neck, tilting his head up a little in a relaxed gesture, leading her in a leisurely fashion. Rin's face turned redder and redder as the list continued. She had wanted to know, but having him said it to her made her blushed. "You are strong, independent, but modest. You are-"
"Stop, stop! You don't have to say anymore."
"Why? I still have more to say." He turned his head slightly back to flash her a teasing smile.
"You will embarrass me to death, so please stop."
Clearly enjoying the teasing, his smile broadened at the sight of her. However, he decided to cut her some slack. "Fine. But you were the one who asked." His voice was light and amused.
She felt slightly annoyed, but could not blame him. She was asking for it after all.
"But why me? There are many women with those same qualities out there. Why does it have to be me?" she could not help wondering. She was nothing special. Daisuke was a lord, the status too far above her, an orphan girl. Not to mention she was human. Daisuke was a skilled and dependable warrior, with a handsome face that could make a girl drool.
"Because it's you. Those qualities are just something that I used to describe you. Even if you lack a few of those, give or take, I will still fall for you. You are the one that my heart beats for, and that's good enough of a reason."
"Are you always such a sweet talker? How many hearts have you broken, I wonder." she teased him. She found herself relaxed and she did not hate the feelings.
"Is that so? But it is sad to disappoint you. I have always been clumsy around women."
"You don't seem clumsy to me. In fact you are such a smooth talker that I think a woman should be careful around you."
"I'm glad my charm works on you because you are the girl I want it work on."
"See what I mean?" They both laughed a little at her comment and continued to walk in silent for a minute or so until Rin spoke up.
"I cannot promise you anything."
He could almost hear her silence plead, 'I don't want to hurt you.'
"I will take my chance."
The sky's color softened a little. The sunray was still strong, but it would not be long for night to come.
"It's best to up on me." She told him again.
"Not for as long as there's still a chance. No matter how small it is." He turned his face and their gazes held for a moment. "So I won't have any regret when I have to give up." He then look back at the field. They continued the walk.
"Even if you tell me to, I can't just stop loving you." His voice was soft as if he was whispering to the winds.
Rin sighed. She knew the feelings too well. She knew how hard it is to give up. If it were that easy, she would not be trap in this agony.
Give up, countless times she tried, but her heart still yearned for him.
Sesshomaru.
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So how was it? I hope it's good enough. My writing skill has been rusty after months of not writing anything. As I have said before in my note of "Story themes", this is the first time I have gone so long without writing since I started writing fanfiction in 20012. I had always writing something and updating something.
From here on I will answer some of the reviews. I will just lump everything together, I hope you guys don't mind.
I have been saying this many times regarding reviews, but I guess the language barrier made it come out wrong or not clear. So I will try one more time.
I WANT REVIEWS! The more the batter. That is one of the reasons I write after all. However, I WILL NOT FORCE anyone to review or say that it has to reach a certain number for me to update. I take pride in my reviews no matter how many or little they may be, I want to believe that I deserve them and were given to me willingly, and not from pity either.
As for the review itself, you can write it as long or as short as you like. I love reading them all. :D
Okay, many have asked why Sesshomaru seemed so dense in this story. I will give you an example to explain why. Here it goes.
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You have known this person forever. You see this person as your best friend, or even sibling. However, that was all you ever see that person as.
One day, or should I say last night to be specific, you suddenly grow super jealous of this friend of yours. You were like "Nah ah, I don't love my friend that way? Do I?" and then you spend the whole night fighting with yourself whether you are truly in love.
By the end of the night, this morning, you were like, fine, I'm in love with my friend. But it's still early, my feeling is still new. I will take sometimes to sort everything out. It might just be a spur of a moment emotions. So you decide to watch and see.
But as soon as your see you today, your friend says, "Hey, I'm going away." Let just say, going somewhere far away and might not see each other again for a long time, or something like that.
You were like, why? For how long? But you don't get a clear respond.
You were like fine, I have to finish my job or my class or whatever it is that need to be finish. We will continue the talk after I'm back from taking care of this business.
However, before you could leave, this person whom you dislike because you knew he/she has feelings for your friend come to you and say, "hey, because you two are best friend, I must inform you. I asked your friend out. I'm still waiting for the answer."
You were freak out. You think, no way! My friend will never consider going out with this person. My friend has never even looked that person's way. But when you go conform it, it turn out that it's true, your friend is considering it. So you feel betray.
So yeah, that's how Sesshamaru's bumpy ride has been. It all happen in one day and that's why he is feeling so lost. Does it make sense to you now? Let me know if it does or not.
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As for why Rin's still thinking about Daisuke's offer. She is now thinking Sesshomaru hates her. The only way to please him is to go back with Sesshomaru, but she cannot do that. So she has to make a decision, and this decision will change her life forever. That's why she takes everything into consideration, including going with Daisuke. Think things through rationally before coming to a conclusion. Before deciding on what she should do next. To me, I think it is rational and not stupid because she's only thinking about the possibility not action it.
Man, my brain is cooked, I can't think anymore. I hope I answered all the questions, if not please forgive me. Thank you so much for taking your time reading this story and these none sense. Until next time, take, care.
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Wednesday, November 26, 2014