Mai:HALLO PEOPLES!*puts on music and throws confetti*
Jushiro:We are back!
Ulquiorra:We are, but there's no need for the excitement and Mai, you are to sweep that up.
Mai:Whatever! It'll clean itself!
Ulquiorra:It will not clean itself.
Mai:Oh yeah! Than how come whenever we leave and then come back a few minutes later, it's gone!
Ulquiorra:Because I clean it!
Jushiro:Stop being such a party pooper! We have just returned from a long, long break and you-
Mai:You are already bitchin'!
Jushiro:Exactly.
Cirucci:Can we get on with this thing? Heir of Schiffer:
Hey there! Sorry I was a little late about the whole Zanpakutou thing.
He is Kore Made Souru o Henko Suru (Ever Changing Soul) His release command is 'funsai tamashi' (shatter the soul) His Shikai looks just like the regular sealed state, which is just a black and white blade, except, should I choose, and if I have fought with that person, I can use another Zanpakutou's attack and my blade will take on the form of that sword and I don't have to be fighting that person at that time. Whether the person knows their Zanpakutou's name or not, I learn Shikai and Bankai for that Zanpakutou. Top that. For example, when I fought Ichigo and Gin last night (it was behind the scenes, so nobody knew) I gained their Zanpakutou's abilities, and am currently training with Urahara to gain control. And that means... I got Urahara's Shikai and Bankai too! The same goes for Arrancar's Zanpakuto, father. I have that fool Grimmjow's Resurrecion as well. Now, Charisei, before you get pissed at my father, realize that I am his child from when he was alive and I have died now as well and am a rogue Shinigami, so take that Soul Society! Kenpachi, you'll be some fun, so let's go and have a good fight. I suppose I should let you know, my Bankai is the same as my Shikai, except that it only works only on the person that I am fighting, but it let's me add the maximum amount of power that that person has at any point and add it to my own considerable amount of power. Now, since you idiots have not yet killed Aizen, I am going to go fight him and gain the Kyoka Suigetsu, after my and Kenny's fight of course. I'm not going to even bother fighting either of you, as both of your Resurrecions suck. I'll just kill you both again with Bala, as you aren't worthy enough to be killed by a Cero.
I'm going to kill that damn cat in the hat if it's the last thing I do! Juushiro, would you kindly assist me? There's a big money reward for you if you do. IT. MUST. DIE! *runs off toward the Cat in the Hat with my sword in Zangetsu form*
Mai:It's okay!
Kenpachi:Alright, lets fight! Make a good one!
Mai:Grimmy kitty! You're dumb!
Grimmjow:I am not dumb! You are!
Mai:That's not what that high school diploma on the wall says, high school drop out!
Grimmjow:Your mom!
Mai:At least my mom made to tenth grade!
Grimmjow:It's Aizen's fault.
J.J.:We should jump him after school! Ohhh. My bad Grimmjow.
Grimmjow:I know for sure you aren't gonna make it! You are probably dumber than me!
J.J.:Thats not what my preschool diploma says.
Grimmjow:Prick.
Jushiro:Cat in the Hat's dead, we are going for his son.
Mai:You don't have the guts to do Shiro-kun.
Jushiro:I do!
Mai:Nu-uh. Every time you see something about to die, you take pity on it and don't finish it.
Jushiro:That isn't true.
Mai:What about that bug?
Jushiro:I was letting him enjoy his last few minutes in this cruel world!
Mai:Mhm. Sure. Heir-san, please make sure to end his life before Shiro-kun see him. He gets really emotional so don't listen to his pleading. We need to get rid of all nuisances before the weddings.
Jushiro:Speaking of that, where is Byakuya?
Mai:The sap got trapped into going over the wedding! Haha.
Gantenbainne:Isn't that a woman's job?
Mai:He said I would make it ghetto...
Gantenbainne:Only because you would. LilyGirl101:
*due to the amazing power of FF, is a third of the way through the pregnancy* Sorry I didn't review last time, but a virus completely crashed our computer and then when I finally got on...two chapters had passed! :-o
Aw, I missed Sesshomaru's chapter! :-( *heartfelt sigh* He's so awesome...*snaps out of it* Can I pet his tail thingy? *wide eyes* He's so cool...actually, Mai-chan, rather than thanking her for honouring him by naming her pet after him, he would probably kill her to soiling his good name by applying it to a stupid animal. :-p 'Cause he's snooty like that! Dares this time: Mai-chan, I dare you to crash some famous person's party with a bulldozer. Bya-nii-chan,I dare you to watch Alvin and the Chipmunks the Squeakquel. Zaki-chan, read that awesome story I wrote about your zanpakuto as she waits for you to hear her name. Katsumi-chan...I can't think of any dares for you. Jow-chan, you're still my pet, because I missed you the first time around. Ul-chan...read your diary out loud in front of all the other Espada. Shiro-chan, I dare you to...*goes over and cuddles him* Oh, never mind... :-D I love you, Shiro-chan! *hugs him* I'm glad that you lived to have children, and even more glad that I'm your girl! *kisses him* Oh, Mai-chan is right! We need to come up with names for them! Everybody, come up with one boy name and one girl name! We'll pick our two favorite names, and those'll be the names of our children! *hugs Shiro-chan* They should be born in about two or three chapters! :-O By the way, Shiro-chan, we have to get married before then, or my parents will come down and kill you!
Signed with love and licks,
Lily-chan
Cirucci:A third way? I don't even want to know.
Jushiro:*jumping up and down in excitement*
Mai:I knew we would mess up. We always mess up. Even on people from this show.*sighs in disappointment*
Jushiro:Go ahead and pet him my love! If he objects I rip him to little pieces.
Mai:Crashing parties is my specialty!*goes to crash Justin Bieber's*You suck!*throws very odd foods at him*Baby faced mother-
Jushiro:Why do you hate him?
Mai:Something about him ticks me off.
Byakuya:I will see, but I won't like it.
Mai:Byakun, you love that movie. You've watched twenty times.
Byakuya:I can't help it! That Alvin sings so beautifully.
Kenpachi:Dammit. Your story makes me feel a bad about ignoring my zanpakuto.
Jushiro:Then listen to it.
Kenpachi:Nah. I'll wait a little longer.
All:*fall all at the same time that seems to only happen in animes*
Mai:*looks around*Where is Katsumi?
Kenpachi:Meh-
Mai:*smacks forehead*Don't tell me you broke up?
Kenpachi:No. We don't have to be around each other all the time. Well at night we do. If you know what I mean.
Jushiro:I have no clue... Oh! Wait, now I do.
Mai:A bit slow today aren't we?
Grimmjow:*goes to be her pet*
Mai:Man, Soi Fon's more patient than I thought.
Jushiro:Apparently not because she's tearing his stuff apart.
Ulquiorra:*smiles*
J.J.:Why are smiling?
Ulquiorra:It makes my heart warm to see all of Grimmjow's precious belongings on fire. Look! There goes his precious hair gel.
Jushiro:Read your dare. Thats bound to make you your usual depressed self.
Ulquiorra:*reads*Great.
Mai:Read it to us too!
Ulquiorra:Why not?*goes to read diary to Espada*
Jushiro:I am so lucky to even have a girl like you. Two or three chapters? I'm not ready!
Mai:Whoopie. We get to come up with more names.
Kenpachi:You sound as unenthusiastic as Ulquiorra, Mai. Cheer up or I'll kick your ass.
Mai:And you are supposed run an anger management group?
Jushiro:Here's a boy's name. Yasuo, the Peaceful One, and a girl's, Keiko, Blessing.
Mai:Boy's name Rya, Dragon. Girl's name, Amarante, Flower That Never Fades.
Grimmjow:Girl's name Nariko, Thunder. A boy's name I would have picked if Jr. weren't so picky would be, Arashi. It means storm.
Ulquiorra:Girl's, Nami which means Wave. A boy's, Harou, which means waves. I've been thinking about waves a lot recently...
Kenpachi:Amaya, Night Rain, for a girl. For a boy, Daisuke, Great Help.
Byakuya:Emiko, Beautiful Child, for a girl. Hayate for a boy. It means sudden.
Gantenbainne:For a girl Kata, it means worthy. Hiroshi for a boy, which means generous.
Cirucci:A good girl's name would be Kaori, Strong. A good boy's name would be Morio, Protector.
Mai:We aren't too sure about the definitions. Hope this helps you two. katizo terusei:
Katizo: *hugs Gaara* don't EVER scare me like that again. you do and i'll either let the fangirls get you or kill you with Loraname.
Charisei: Ulqui! Your so weird! *giggles*
Karahime: *bows polietly* hello
Katizo: *kicks Hime* get the stick out of your ass! Cirucci-chan is a girl like us. she knows we can be silly sometimes.
Charisei: what Kat said! omg! Cirucci i LOVE your hair! i wish mine would curl like that.
Katizo: and those emo tear drop things. PERFECT! *hugs*
Karahime: oh and Addie-san. a long time ago we were promised Chad-kun would come back but he never did. Kat has been having panic attacks because of it.
Katizo: SHUT UP HIME!
*crying*
Katizo: SHIT! *runs to other room*
Charisei: i told you to stop yelling! it would wake them up!
Katizo: *holding the twins* oh shush! besides they needed to come and visit.
Kokaro: Da-da! *reaches for Gaara*
Kaminari: Mi mi! *reaches for Mai*
Gaara:I'm sorry!
Ulquiorra:*blushes*
Cirucci:Girls will be girls right?*winks at them*My hair naturally curls like this.
Mai:Then what's with the curler in your bag?
Cirucci:What's with the stick up your boyfriend's ass!
Mai:I have no clue. But I still love him! Oh and Chad will be here! We apologize for the wait.
Gaara:Ohhh. Look at my perfect, adorable, sweet children.*holds Kokaro*
Mai:*points in Ulquiorra's face*Ha! People do trust me with their children!*snuggles Kaminari*
Ulquiorra:I never said they didn't.
Jushiro:Its okay to be jealous Ulquiorra. You are going to have your own anyway.
Ulquiorra:Has my child been born yet?
Jushiro:You should know!
Mai:COMMERCIAL BREAK!
*Scene is at a boring birthday party.
Narrator:Are your child's parties like this. Boring as hell and in need of some kick ass excitement?
Child:Yes!
Narrator:Well, we've got just the thing sport! Here's the Q&A Party crew! Too much trouble breaking that pinata!
Kids:*nod yes*
Narrator:Here's Kenpachi!
Kenpachi:*obliterates pinata*
Narrator:Errr... Candy shortage? Jushiro's your man then!
Jushiro:*passes out his never ending supply*
Narrator:Lighting the candles a lot of work? Here's Mai to solve the problem!
Mai:*lights cake ablaze*Errmmmm... My bad!
Narrator:We even got a couple of clowns!
Grimmjow:WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU STARIN' AT, YA DAMNED BRATS!
Byakuya:THIS IS A SNAKE! ARE YOU BLIND?*throws kid a balloon*
Ulquiorra:*showing a kid a razor blade*Now you see, child trash, you can't cut too deeply. You will die.*gives child blade*Have fun. Dear lord knows I won't.
Narrator:Seee? Very fun and educational! Funucational! Make your reservations now!
Mai:Or we'll find you.
Another Commercial:
Narrator:WATER BABIES WATER BABIES WATER BABIES
Byakuya:*feigned curiosity*What are they?
Narrator:They are WATER BABIES! BUY NOW NOW NOW!
Byakuya:*looks up with bored expression*Yeah. Buy them.
Narrator:WATER BABIES!*
Jushiro:What in the heck was that, Mai?
Mai:We need funding and money doesn't sprout on trees!
Jushiro:Funny thing is that I don't remember doing that commercial.
Mai:Because you didn't I just recorded J.J. birthday party and another little kid's.
Jushiro:Oh yeah. That poor little kid...
Mai:WATER BABIES! Souygo no kotowari1012:
O_o wow you update fast... Sorry i didn't upsate last chapter! I had paperwork, homework, school trips, more paperwork and homework. My life is busy,
That and i was being chased by that creep from Squad twelve O_o
Creep from squad twelve: Let me run some tests on that cat!
Me: *Grabs Grimmjow jr* YOU CAN'T HAVEZ HIM! *Starts running*
I strangely don't have any questions, i have a couple of dares though...i dare everyone to sing Riot by Three Days Grace, and i dare Curruci to Walk up to Uryu and just randomly Kiss him...
Grimmjow Jr: *yawns* yo backpack is not very comfy, and i actually learned today *Yawns again*
Me: that's why it's called school, stupid head.
Grimmjow Jr: I swear if freaky man touches me it's yo fault, ka-peeche?
Me: *Asleep*
Mai:We understand. We've been busy for a whole freaking month!
Grimmjow:Thats my son, you freak! You need to a signature from me and some cash.
Soi Fon:You're a bad dad.
Grimmjow:You're an even worse mom.
Soi Fon:We aren't having children.
Mai:Singing time!
Jushiro:If you feel so empty
So used up, so let down
If you feel so angry
So ripped off so stepped on
You're not the only one
Refusing to back down
You're not the only one
So get up
Grimmjow:Let's start a riot, a riot
Let's start a riot
Let's start a riot, a riot
Let's start a riot
Mai:If you feel so filthy
So dirty so fucked up
If you feel so walked on
So painful so pissed off
You're not the only one
Refusing to go down
You're not the only one
So get up
Ulquiorra:Let's start a riot, a riot
Let's start a riot
Let's start a riot, a riot
Let's start a riot
Kenpachi:If you feel so empty
So used up, so let down
If you feel so angry
Just get up
Cirucci:Let's start a riot, a riot
Let's start a riot
Let's start a riot, a riot
Let's start a riot
Mai:You gotta kiss Uryu now!
Cirucci:Fine.*kisses Uryu and sticks her tongue in his mouth*
Uryu:*has a nosebleed and faints*
Cirucci:Nerd.
Mai:He is definitely a virgin! Ooo, Souygo-chan, send Junior to the authoress' school as a punishment for not updating quick!
Grimmjow:You cruel, cruel ho. Hey there is nothing wrong with my kid. What's so wrong about being with him? Prostitute!
Mai:Your child is evil and would be evil to her, man whore!
Grimmjow:Slut!
Mai:Hooker!
Grimmjow:Skank!
Mai:Lets leave your momma out of this!
Grimmjow:You bitch!*attacks Mai*
Byakuya:Back up fucking bitch!*fights Grimmjow*
Jushiro:Break it up! What is wrong with everyone here? Animefan0410:
..As a nice little fact about Aaroniero. He's two hollows in one. The one on top is Aaroniero, and the one on the bottom is Arrurerie. That was the one with the screechy high pitched wanty, posessive voice.
..And I must say Cirucci..Your weapon is rather..*clears throat* kinky, because essentially, people are thinking whip half the time lol..And awesome, it's Gantenbaine. You are an awesome fighter
Mai:WHAT? I did not know that. Thank you very much!
Cirucci:Kinky?
Mai:Kinky is like sexy. My friend's name is Kinkie!
Jushiro:Who would name their child Kinkie?
Mai:Thats like her tagging name or her nickname.
Grimmjow:I wanna meet her!
Mai:Shut it!
Cirucci:You wanna see how kinky it could be?*winks at Animefan*
Mai:That sounds wrong.
Jushiro:It is wrong Mai-chan.
Gantenbainne:Thank you.
Mai:Yeah. He lost like a man and admitted it.
Gantenbainne:Yeah thanks...
Kenpachi:You got your ass handed to you. HurricaneDiablo:
HDiablo:look at Dis Action!
Dante runs at Mai with a sephiroth like stance and stabs her through the stomaching and then kicking her into the air then quickly pursuing not giving her any chance to react let alone defend herself and then OUCH dats gotta hurt Hado#31 Shakkaho to her Mid Section (which would've been her head)
3nd person POV-Dante is slashing at Mai before knocking her into the air and charging a Cero
Dante:Die and stay that way with tht gay azz cat in the hat freak!
Dante fires da cero and completely oblitrates Mai but uses his powers to bring her back from hell
Dante:I win of course hell i didn't even need my Shikai let alone bankai that was suckish Mai -_- Byakuya or Zaraki which 1 of you are strong enough to not practially die like Mai and thats all until sombody else has the guts to challenge Me!
HDiablo:*sigh*go train some more so you can KEEP those bragging rights.
Mai:I lost.. But I did do good in the beginning!
Jushiro:No you didn't.
Mai:You guys wouldn't know because I stopped time and was kicking his frozen ass! But before I could do some real damage I forgot dark type and fire type moves don't work on him and wasted all my energy on my badass finisher that didn't affect him. After that I couldn't keep my grasp on time and being exhausted I got my ass kicked. I admit it at least.
Jushiro:That and you have gotten a little out of shape.
Mai:Are you calling me fat?
Jushiro:No! You aren't fat.
Mai:Yeah. I thought so. I need to train more... Can I train with you Dante? Everyone goes easy on me for some reason-
All:*look at Byakuya and hide the money behind their backs*
Mai:Yeah... I know you wouldn't take a bribe and I'm gettin' soft.
Kenpachi:I'll challenge you. I ain't as easy as Mai though.
Mai:Shut up! You took the bribe too! Byakuya stop doing that! You payed off Addie's teachers too!
Byakuya:No I didn't...
Mai:There is absolutely no way she can have a C when she doesn't work and the bitch hates her!
Byakuya:Segunda Etapa:
You guys made a mistake last chapter. Kaien wasn´t killed by Aaroniero, but was posessed by another hollow, called Metastacia, which was in turn absorbed by Aaroniero. Sorry if this might sound rude, but please check the facts before you write something.
CIRUCCI-CHAN! * glomps and falls on top of her * * while blushing * Ehh, that was embarasing. Your zanpakuto has a realy awesome name. Anyway, here is a present for you. * brings in a tied to a chair Uryu * Have fun! Me: Gantenbainne: You are a honorfull warrior, who wants a fair fight. I realy respect that. Byakuya: I have to agree with Jushiro. You are lazy. you could have just released your bankai and kill him. Jushiro: I agree with Byakuya. You have serious anger issues.
Pandora: And, can you give me a few lessons on how to deal with a husband that tries to hit on other women.
Me: It was just a missunderstanding. Cirucci, tell her.
Pandora: Don´t think it´s over yet.
Pandora: Well then, time to go. I still have to settle something. * grabs me and draggs me away *
Mai:Yeah... sorry. We usually read up on everything about our guests, but I guess we were overconfident and didn't.
Cirucci:It is a misunderstanding. I don't mess with married men.
Mai:You know what you should do Pandora? You should ignore him if he does it again!
Kenpachi:So what? Not hearing a woman nag is a gift!
Mai:How about late at night?
Byakuya:I would know that pain. You're ignoring me for no reason!
Mai:I don't want to do stuff.
Byakuya:You sure? Because last week, you seemed really eager when you pushed me against the-
Mai:Be quiet, lazy ass.
Jushiro:You didn't even want to save your little sister!
Byakuya:I saved her from Zommari!
Mai:You took on the gay seventh espada. Poor Byakuya! You worked so hard.
Byakuya:I cut my own tendons!
Mai:You cut yourself anyway!
Byakuya:You see how you are all tense and frustrated? Thats sexual tension! I'll cure you.*opens door*Step into my office.
Mai:Sexual tension my ass!
Jushiro:Maybe you should go...
Mai:Fine! Just to prove sex ain't always the cure!
Jushiro:I don't have anger issues! I was very angry at the fishy tank guy.
*ten minutes later*
Mai:Hello everyone. Its so beautiful isn't it?
Byakuya:*has a cocky smirk on his face*
Grimmjow:Whore! You're not lazy when it comes to that! Lunarprincess21:
cool cirucci comin, she's very pretty and i liked her zanpaktou but it was a shame that she got defeated and then had an...unfortunate death, kawaii!, shiro's going to be a father now he's going to have a child he always wanted and give him/her candy instead of toshiro...m i can't think of anything else so i'm out, peace.
Cirucci:Thanks!
Jushiro:I know right! I'm so happy! My own little child...
Mai:Bye-bye Luna-chan! Come again!
Cirucci:Now its getting creepy.
Ulquiorra:My thoughts exactly.
Mai:If you two only knew...
Ulquiorra:Knew what?
Mai:I don't know!*gives a big happy grin*I do know someone has a diary to read to us!
Ulquiorra:Fine. March 25. Dear diary, I was invited to a trashy little Q&A. I don't even know why I'm going when I could be with my Aizen-sama! I wish everybody else would die so I could be alone with him! Why? One because he is all powerful. Two, he gave me more power. Three, he gave that big chested girl... Well bye bye diary. Love, Ulqui
Jushiro:... That sure is something Ulquiorra...
Mai:Read another entry!
Ulquiorra:Dear Diary, I have learned the truth! I now have reasons to hate Aizen. One, he's a pedophile weirdo. Two, he's got me killed. Three, Orihime is annoying. I learned to appreciate the trashy Q&A and all its... specialness... Plus there are cute girls here. Hate, Ulquiorra Schiffer
Mai:I wanna rock right now! I wanna, I wanna rock right now!
Grimmjow:Now she's singing!
Mai:*sing Rock that Body by Black Eyed Peas*I wanna rock right now
I wanna I wanna rock right now
I wanna I wanna rock right now
now now rock right now
I wanna I wanna rock right now
I wanna I wanna rock right now
I wanna I wanna rock right noooow!
I wanna da I wanna dance in the lights
I wanna ro I wanna rock your body
I wanna go I wanna go for a ride
Hop in the music and rock your body right
Rock that body come on come on
Rock that body rock your body
Rock your body come on come on
Rock that body
Rock that body come on come on
Rock that body rock your body
Rock your body come on come on
Rock that body
Let me see your body drop
Shaking it from the bottom to top
Break to what the DJ drop
We be the ones to make it hot
To make it hot
Electric shock
Energy like a billion watts
Face be boomen the speakers pop
Galactic comb and missed a spot
We bumpen in your
Parking lot
When you comming up in the spot
Don't bring nothing we call we got
Cause we burnin around the clock
Hit the lights then turn them off
If euglena don't make you stop
Like the jungle we run the block
No one rollin the way we rock
way we rock... I don't feel like singing the rest!
Ulquiorra:Thank God! I don't like the Black Eyed Peas.
Mai:I'm pretty sure they don't like you!
Ulquiorra:Probably not.
Jushiro:Alright. It's time to go bye bye! Next time Chad. Yes just Chad.