She can hear them squabbling in the bathroom, hazily; she scrunches her eyes shut and rolls over into the pillow.
"No..." Cosima's voice rings out clearly for a moment over the sound of water hitting the bottom of the tub.
David's voice raises in response, "Why not? You're even wet."
"Shut up and go to bed." Cosima hollers back. There's sounds of a struggle, and Delphine pulls the pillow, covering her head and her ears, not really digesting the words and muffled sounds she is hearing. He's bathing her? She doesn't want to hear it, doesn't want to be able to picture it.
Ever.
She falls asleep in the soft sheets and strange walls of Cosima's guest bedroom. It's not surprising she does not sleep well; Delphine finds herself waking every couple of hours until after the sun is up. Unsure of her surroundings, but clearly aware of the pounding in her head. Hungover. Delphine groans and rolls over again, desperate for just a little more sleep.
Cosima's head throbs as she wakes; David has already started loudly getting dressed in their room. Memories come back to her, hazy recollections of a rowdy party. Delphine. Delphine asleep in the guest room.
"Shh." She hushes him rolling over, as if she can fall back into this stupid pattern all over again. Half-avoidance, half-wilful ignorance of their situation. Being his wife, as if that's something she actually wants to be.
"Why? Hungover?"
"Yeah. A little... And you'll wake Delphine. Stop it." Cosima hisses at him. At least she's remembered that much. She has to stop doing this; she's getting too old to be unable to recall the events of the night before.
David bangs his sock drawer shut; he has selected another boring black pair for work, "Who cares? She's hungover too. Probably dead to the world."
She pulls herself out of bed, at least long enough to rinse out her mouth and take a long drink of water from the bathroom faucet. She looks at the time. It's not even ten o'clock. How long could she have slept for. She spares a glance at the door of the guest room. She doesn't hear anything, but she could probably bring Delphine water, or something. Would any of her own clothes fit? It's not like she could let her wear something of David's. Cosima shudders at the thought.
"So... get that out of your system with all your dykes and fags -" David cuts himself off at the sharp look that greets him as he emerges from their bedroom, "Okay, fine, homosexuals, all over my house last night?"
"Yeah. I'll... I'll clean up." Cosima says quickly, "No more parties. Not like that one. Holy shit..."
"You better." David scoffs, "I'll be working until six."
"On a Saturday?" Cosima cannot stop her curiosity.
"Have to. We're not meeting our deadlines." David pauses, fixing his tie, "Do you want to go for dinner tonight?"
"I want a divorce." Cosima answers without a trace of humour.
He simply rolls his eyes at her and continues what he's doing.
"David?"
"Yeah?"
She pushes further, "Are you going to say anything?"
"Can we do this later? I don't have time for one of your temper tantrums. About my work. Or about sex right now."
"I am not having a temper tantrum." Cosima insists, "I'm serious."
"You were wasted last night, and I had to bathe you before bed, and you were such a brat about it."
"You bathed me?" Cosima balks, she doesn't think that they've done anything... She couldn't have... She remembers the shower vaguely, with the same lack of clarity with which she put Delphine to bed earlier.
"Yeah. You took a shower after much begging but you were in there for minutes doing nothing. So I jumped in with you." David snorts, "Just bathed you though; you made sure of that."
"I... " She shakes her head, "I want a divorce." How much more clear can she be?
"Later... we'll do this," David stops to wave his hand between the two of them, a parody of her own gesturing, "Later." He lets out a sigh, and rushes downstairs, presumably to leave.
"Are you taking the car today?" Cosima calls down after him.
"Why?"
"So I can drive Delphine home." Cosima tells him clearly, at least he could give her that today.
"I don't have to." David responds, gathering his belongings noisily. He's doing it on purpose, Cosima knows well.
She forces herself up to survey the damage downstairs. Felix is gone, a note remains on the couch in his place. And a trash bag is tied up, presumably containing most of the trash from her party.
The kitchen is still a mess, and the whole place could use a good vacuum. She resolves herself to be productive, and forces herself into the kitchen. Might as well get something done before Delphine wakes up.
She hears the shower turn on again, as she rolls, attempting to get back to sleep. The sun is definitely up now. Delphine groans, wondering what time it is before she buries her face in the pillow, seeking sleep once again.
A warm mouth moves along her jaw, lips coaxing her awake. Damp skin presses against her own. She arches and gasps, despite herself, permitting the attentions of her ardent lover.
"Cosima..." She blinks at her for a moment, before she is guided to sit up and offered a glass of water. Her mouth is dry and she accepts it readily, taking long sips. When she's done Cosima wordlessly replaces the glass on the end table.
"Morning." Cosima grins at her, stroking her hair. Why now? Why so tender now?
It takes a few minutes to catch up with her muddled brain; lips gently press against her again, teeth playing with her top lip. It's clear now, Cosima is in bed with her, naked and damp. And she is fully awake.
"I want you." Cosima murmurs gently.
Cosima fucking her while leaking her husband's come onto the sheets is not exactly a fantasy.
Delphine shakes her head, "No. You were with him last night."
"Nope. Only slept." Cosima volunteers, "He's gone. It's nearly noon and he's gone into work... We're alone." She assures gently, dipping her head for another scorching kiss.
"Why now?" Delphine catches Cosima's hands with her own, holding her at a short distance.
"Umm, because I miss you? And we're alone and I want to have you." Cosima leans in again, expecting a kiss.
"You already had me." Delphine tells her shortly. Her head is pounding a little, but it can wait until later, she guesses.
"What?" Cosima seems genuinely confused. She finds herself wondering if this is some kind of act.
Delphine sighs, more annoyed than anything, "Last night. You had me."
Cosima seems to take this in stride, "Okay, hazy memory, I was drunk and stoned and I don't actually remember that much of the party... What do you mean I had you? I think I remember you telling me that I did, but my house was full of people. Mostly Felix's people..." Cosima trails off on a tangent she cannot be bothered with following right now.
She considers, it's possible Cosima would not remember much of their encounter, "In the bathroom. You cornered me. I let you..." It's enough information to jog Cosima's memory in any case.
"Hmmm... Any good?" Cosima asks teasingly, she pushes forward for a kiss, but she turns so it lands against her cheek.
"Non." She doesn't lie, but almost wishes she did when she sees the disappointed look on Cosima's face.
"Shit... It was really bad? I'll make it up to you now," Cosima promises, "Or... after we have breakfast... Or lunch I guess now..."
"Then after you ran away to talk to Felix and left me there. I didn't see you until it was over." Delphine shakes her head again, "You've always made me feel loved. Always. Until last night."
"Shit... I'm really sorry Delphine. I'm... I'm a lousy drunk. Especially if I smoke." Cosima's hands stroke her hair again, playing with her hair once again. "Are you hungry? Or, is there anything I can get you?"
What does she really want? More time with Cosima? Does she want to let Cosima make it up to her? Even here? Delphine finds herself touching Cosima's face, gliding her fingers across soft skin. Within minutes she's being kissed again, long soothing kisses that are trying to work her up.
"Delphine... I just can't not..."
Delphine sighs despite herself, "You know I love you. And you know what I want."
"And you'll have it." Cosima reassures her, hands brushing back curls. "I told him I wanted a divorce. It's just taking longer than expected for him to accept it."
"Did you really tell him you wanted a divorce?"
"Yes. This morning. After days of asking him to discuss separating with me." Cosima shakes her head, "It's going to be okay." Cosima's hands on her face capture her attention.
"Do you have anything I can take for a hangover?"
"Yeah... umm we have ibuprofen and I could like make you breakfast." Cosima seems almost disappointed as she hops off the bed and grabs the red robe at the end of the bed.
"Yours?" Delphine asks as she puts the offered garment on. But the smell alone tells her that it's Cosima's.
"Yup." Cosima nods, "So... eggs and toast? Or are you going to make me get fancy?"
"Eggs and toast will be fine." Delphine nods, "And tea?"
"I can manage that." Cosima smiles, leading her downstairs, "You know, I think I might try something new today?"
"What's that?" Delphine asks warily, unsure if she can trust this just yet.
"Being happy."
She enjoys watching Delphine eat more than she wants to admit, watching her sip her tea and soak up spilled yolk with her toast. Bringing it to her mouth before taking a liberal bite of it. Cosima watches full lips close around a fork again, and she doesn't want to stop watching even though she's certain Delphine is going to start thinking she's crazy.
"What?" Delphine asks after swallowing a rather large fork full of egg.
Cosima tilts her head leaning in, "You." She cannot resist laughter, hopefully she'd manage to make up for her behaviour last night. Breakfast. Orgasms. Should be sufficient, she thinks, smiling a little wider.
"You are really trying to win me over again, aren't you?" Delphine murmurs between bites.
"Don't worry about that," Cosima assures, "Just eat, drink your tea, wait for the hangover to fade a bit."
"Hmm." She sighs happily when she's finished breakfast, allowing Cosima to clear her plate for her, quickly washing off the yolk residue in the sink.
"Are you feeling any better?"
Delphine sighs, taking another long swig of her tea, "A bit. My head hurts less."
"I could... make you feel better." Cosima suggests teasingly, pulling her reluctant lover to her feet. Too much? She wonders at Delphine's ambiguous expression.
"Cosima.." She's gone in for the kiss before Delphine has the chance to refuse her, kissing smoothly, tenderly, until Delphine is kissing her back, grabbing at her own body, her hips with eager hands.
She lets herself moan and feels Delphine tremble at the sound, before hauling her in tightly. It's easy to let Delphine pull her from her kitchen, and up the stairs, back into the same guest room as before. The robe hits the floor, revealing pale skin to her touch as Delphine works her t-shirt over her head, hands undressing her evenly.
"Sometimes I wonder why," Delphine whispers faintly as she works her undergarments down her legs, letting them fall to the floor.
"Why what?"
"Why you. Why me. Why 1979 and Rome? Why now?"
"Why care?" Cosima replies calmly, pulling Delphine back into her arms, moaning and arching as a firm hand cups her own breast, squeezing forcefully, whether in frenzy or to get her attention she cannot be sure.
"Because I have you." Delphine moans, pinning her down in a bed that now smells of sweat and cigarettes. Excitedly she yanks Delphine back to her mouth before starting a path down her neck to her collar bones. Drawing lines with her lips between moles, intent on kissing all the way down.
"The way you feel... the way I feel when we're together," Cosima pauses to nibble at offered skin, "When we make love... oh god when we make love..." Cosima kisses her fiercely.
"Quoi?"
"I'm so in love with you, don't you know that?" She wasn't truly expecting Delphine's response, flipping her over to begin grinding wetly against her. She feels her own sex clench and throb at the feeling, at each one of Delphine's little sounds.
"Uhh." She watches Delphine bite her lip at the sensitivity she finds, before continuing.
"You're so easy." She laughs at Delphine's energetic grinding; she can feel her, swollen and dripping, against her bare skin.
"Easy?" Delphine slows, pouting.
"I know I can get you off like this, but," Cosima quickly flips them again, "I want more."
She pushes herself between Delphine's legs, untangling them from behind her when they wrap around her without warning.
"What are you doing?" Delphine asks, as Cosima pulls herself up on her knees, spreading Delphine's knees wide.
"This." She pushes down and forward to bring her own sex into contact with Delphine's hotly dripping core. It's not enough by any stretch of the imagination, but the look on Delphine's face, the way her eyes close as she tries to frantically pull them into more direct contact, needing more pressure.
"Oh..."
"Yeah... I thought you'd like that." Cosima teases from above her, rolling her hips again, enjoying the warmth of Delphine, the sweet slide of them together.
She pulls away suddenly, provoking a needy whimper from Delphine, "It's okay," she reassures, dropping herself lower towards the intoxicating smell of Delphine's arousal, burying her face in slick folds as she laps at her. One hand holding her thigh steady so she can devour her lover with lips and tongue.
"Cosima..." The arch of her back, the jerk of her hips, thighs clamping around her head. There's no doubt that the française is close, so close. And so is she, Cosima rolls her own hips in response.
Sweet cries nearly send her over the edge as well, instead she works a hand between her hips and the mattress, determined to bring them both to climax near simultaneously. It won't be long now, she can read her well.
The tension releases in Delphine's body as she redoubles the efforts of her hand, circling roughly until she's crying out, muffled by warm flesh.
Hoarse cries from her beloved draw her from between Delphine's thighs and into her arms, letting herself be held, and needed. Cosima swallows down her nervousness, reminding herself she is safe with Delphine. After all this time, how could she not be?
She finally gets to shower, Cosima shampooing her hair interspersed with wandering hands and promises of love, of devotion.
"Pour toujours." She prompts, as Cosima holds her under the steady warm spray of the shower, rinsing away the sweat and grime and smoke from her body.
"Mmmhmm." Cosima agrees nonverbally, kissing her again.
"Quand je suis agée et mes cheveux sont tous gris..." Delphine plays, unable to stop the shifting of her words from English to French and back again.
"Yup. No matter what." Cosima smiles happily, "Old. Grey-haired. Saggy-breasted...Oww." Cosima winces at a slight slap to the forearm.
"That is not romantic."
"No... but aging... inevitable," Cosima gestures out the rest of her sentence silently as she turns off the hot water.
She's not really interested in discussing the intricacies of the aging process right now, Delphine knows that much. "I'm clean enough now." She announces, climbing out of the shower to wrap a large fluffy red towel around herself.
"Okay...so change the sheets and back to bed?" Cosima suggests playfully, following her lead, toweling quickly at her hair..
"Why, so we can dirty them again?" The shower had done more to stoke her desire again than she'd expected. Why was it always like this? Is it that they hadn't had enough time together to grow bored of it? To let the desire wane into something else?
Cosima lets her chase her from the bathroom, nearly falling in the hallway in fits of laughter, as soon as she's entered the guest room again; she throws Cosima on the messily made bed.
"Hey... I thought we were going to change those."
"You'll just get them all messy again anyways." Delphine reminds her with a heated kiss, she desperately wants her, working her way down Cosima's body to give her what she knows she wants. And, a reminder to the petite woman where she belongs.
"Me? You're the one who...ohh!" Cosima abandons teasing for loud moans as she nips at her skin, grazing her breasts with teeth before soothing the quick pain with her tongue, her lips.
"Mmm you taste good." Delphine mutters into flushed skin as she makes her way down, weight on her knees, ass up in the air.
"Uh... oh..." Cosima thrashes slightly as her lips make contact with her centre, "Delphine..."
She's still sensitive from her previous orgasm, Delphine realizes, it won't take long. She resolves to tease, nipping at her thighs, allowing her tongue to toy with Cosima's clit before moving away again, pressing inside and groaning at the taste, at the feel of her.
"Don't tease..." Cosima begs, "Please just..."
"Hmmm?" She hums, lips closing around her, sliding a hand up from Cosima's hip to her breast, playing with a nipple with her thumb, enjoying the reaction it brings her. The words and sounds and taste of Cosima on the edge, is enough to have heat pooling between her own thighs again, already primed for another round with her beloved.
"I love you... I love you..." Cosima sobs, hands gripping her hair tightly.
She hums in response again, flicking her tongue playfully, making her lover's hips jerk. She loves Cosima's sounds, the noises she makes as her lover's body tightens under her mouth. She looks up her body to see her head tilted back, eyes probably shut as she writhes under her teasing tongue.
"Ah...ah... ah..."
She's moaning with her now, breath catching with every flick of her tongue as it works the swollen bud in her mouth, under her mouth.
"Delphine... Delphine..." Cosima's voice a mere whisper before she breaks, a strangled cry catching in her throat as she shakes under her, aftershocks and a rapid pulse easily felt.
She sighs contently, circling her tongue once more, making Cosima squeak and giggle, opening her eyes and screaming. The sound shocks her away from her haven between her lover's thighs. She turns to see the last face she'd wanted to see, mouth and chin still covered in Cosima's arousal, in the proof of their passion, she lets out her own shriek, arms moving to cover herself.
"David, get out!" Cosima yells hoarsely, looking in horror from Delphine to her husband.
Delphine nearly bolts, instead she manages to catch her, covering her quickly with the comforter as she hears her curse under her breath, hissed words in a language Cosima has never been proficient at speaking. She holds a now crying Delphine still, looking at David. Enraged, she's not even sure what to say, how long had he stood there? With her eyes shut... could she be sure? How much had he heard?
"What?" David shrugs, "This is my house."
"Get out!" Cosima hollers, clinging to Delphine, "Stop it David, leave! You're scaring her." Scaring both of us, Cosima acknowledges to herself. Delphine had been completely exposed. Shit. At least he hadn't tried to touch her, Cosima seethes; if he had she'd have to calm the urge to break the offending fingers.
He backs up enough until he's hovering just outside of the door, "Well if you didn't want me to watch, why did you do it in the house?"
"Cosima, what is... did you plan this?" Delphine manages between sobs, looking at her, eyes wide and hurt.
"No... No of course not." Cosima's voice is frantic, she tries comfort with her hands, with her voice, "He wasn't supposed to come home until six pm."
"It's my house." David reiterates, "Did you really think I wasn't on to you? I asked who your new lover was and you said you didn't have one. I'm smarter than that. I knew there was someone. Though, I wasn't sure you'd let her get drunk and stay over here."
"I need to go." Delphine finds words again, face pressed against her own chest, "I need to go."
"Okay, okay." Cosima breathes, trying to see a way through the panic that wouldn't lead to Delphine never speaking to her again. She glares at David.
"What?"
"Go downstairs and at least let Delphine get dressed."
"I saw..." He starts, but she's not about to let him finish the sentence.
"David." She has a harder time controlling her anger now, but he leaves, she hears him trample down the stairs before turning on music in the living room.
She's never seen Delphine dress so quickly, locating her clothes, refusing offers of any loans, before rushing out the door. Would she ever see her again? Would Delphine even want to talk about this?
"I've never seen you like that." David says finally, sitting down on the couch across from her. He's listening to A Whiter Shade of Pale, again, which is never a good sign.
"Like what?"
"Like that!" David raises his voice, "The sounds you made, you told her you loved her... I mean that was weird enough, but you didn't give a shit about me when I walked in and she freaks out. You chased her."
"Well... I don't really care about sparing your feelings," Cosima explains miserably, "I think I've lost her now."
David shrugs, "Might be for the best. I mean she didn't know about our arrangement. She does now." They hadn't all known, her previous affairs, but she hadn't made a huge effort to hide David from them either.
"No.. it's not." Cosima shakes her head, "I want out. I'm done... okay? I can't take anymore of this."
"Is that why you threatened therapy?" David asks softly.
"Yup. I knew after your ex-wife you'd never go again."
"Well..." David says finally with a sigh, "I want to go."
"I'm still going to want out, David..." Cosima shakes her head, unsure of whether to reach for his hand or let him settle on his own.
"Maybe."
"Definitely." Cosima swallows thickly, "But, if you want? I'll go. We can do this separation thing by the book. Talk it to death. Whatever."
"Do we have to?"
"Yeah. We have to." Cosima sighs, "I'll move my shit into the guest room for now, and I'll start looking for a place to live."
"Isn't it kind of early for that?" His voice is laced with regret, he's literally choking up, Cosima realizes quickly.
"No..." She shakes her head again, "You know? I haven't lived alone since 1979.. it's been girlfriend after girlfriend, or crashing with friends, or with you..."
"So?"
"I think it's time to be alone... god I hate being alone." Cosima sniffs, tearing up despite herself.
"So don't be." David offers, reaching towards her, but she shakes her head at him silently, standing up and leaving the room. It was enough for now.
"Hey. Can we talk?" She waits near the door of Delphine's office, unsure if her advances would be accepted.
"We can."
"So... I need to tell you something about David?"
Delphine asks impatiently, "Did you know he was going to come home?"
"No," Cosima shakes her head, gesturing wildly, "Absolutely not... but it's sort of his thing to watch me with other people. But I wasn't going to let him. Not with you. I would never do that."
"What?"
"Do you know what a cuckold fetish is?" Cosima asks nervously, lips twitching into an uncertain smile.
Delphine's brow furrows as she thinks, but Cosima cannot tell if it's frustration or attempting to translate the word in her head.
"Non," Delphine shakes her head, "I... I don't think I do."
"David's arousal centres on being cheated on. The humiliation. Watching. All of it. It's really the only thing that does it for him. It's why I didn't want to tell him about you."
"You cheated on him because he wanted you to?"
"Well... honestly? I wouldn't have married him if I couldn't be with women. And ... I knew from the beginning, not like his ex-wife - total disaster there. It was even kind of interesting, the whole fetish-having thing, in the beginning... But it got old. Really fast."
Delphine is obviously distressed by this news, "You chose to be with a man who wanted to watch you have sex with other people?" She hisses at her, still courteous enough to keep her voice down.
Cosima squirms uncomfortably, "Well... it sounds really bad when you put it that way. Sex was a small part of the arrangement. I mean, David and I discussed it beforehand. It was more social acceptability, kind of like a cover for both of us. His ex-wife did not do his reputation any favours... so when he married me..." She lets herself trail off, watching Delphine for signs of disgust or regret.
"How many?"
"What?" She's shaking her head, she certainly doesn't want to tell her that. If that's even what she's asking for.
"How many affairs? How many people did he watch you with? Why... why?" Delphine's shaking her head, standing up, her work temporarily forgotten.
"Umm... like twelve?" Cosima guesses, she's unsure of the exact number. Three men, nine women. But it's fuzzy somehow. "He... he didn't watch me with all of them. It was even the idea. And I - I never told him about you. Because you're ... I didn't want to share you like that. It's not for him. You... you were what I wanted. Okay?"
"We need..." Delphine trails off in frustration, letting her eyes close, "I think you need some time... And so do I. We... we can try again, when I get back from Peru." She offers this as what? A consolation? Does she even really mean it?
"Are you set for teaching again?"
"Just part time, and artifact processing after the dig. A few weeks in the lab." Delphine answers honestly. No promises, no guarantees. But then again, what kind of guarantees could they have? "I don't... I don't want to wait to be with you."
"You'll have to." Delphine sighs, closing whatever she's working on and reaching for another book on a shelf.
"What am I supposed to do?"
"End your marriage. If you want to, that's your choice. Find... find something to do with the time?" Delphine suggests finally, but she's reaching.
"And you'll be back?" Cosima looks at her hopefully. The real question goes unasked. You'll wait for me? She hopes but doesn't speak the words.
"Yes. I'll be back end of July. Same apartment - I'm not subletting, don't worry."
"Okay." She nods sadly, backing out of the room. "If it's space you need, take it."