Chapter XXXVII: Mauled
---x---
Smackdown was airing from Nashville Tennessee and had just come back from the commercial break that followed the R-Truth/Shelton Benjamin match. Shawn Michaels talked about Hurricane Ike for a moment, but then the cameras went to the ring and the bell rang to get everyone's attention. No More Words started playing and the fans jumped up and started screaming as Jeff Hardy came out from the back. This contest is set for one fall, making his way to the ring, from Cameron North Carolina, weighing two hundred twenty-five pounds, JEFF HARDY!!" Hardy slapped hands with the fans on both sides of the entrance ramp before he went up the steps and got in the ring. Hardy ran across the ring and jumped up onto the middle rope where he posed for the fans, who cheered loudly. Hardy eventually climbed down and went back into the middle of the ring and raised his arms up into the air. Then he pulled a mic out of his pants pocket, it appeared as though he had something to say before his match started.
"I've been in the WWE off and on now for about ten years," began Hardy. "And I can't lie, the journey hasn't always been a smooth one. Over that time, I've become known as a risk taker, you know, reckless, crazy, extreme! And that is why I am your CHARISMATIC ENIGMA!" Hardy paused and allowed the fans to cheer, "And normally when people have negative thoughts about me, I'm not bothered by that because I am confident and comfortable in my own skin and I hope you respect that. But last week Triple H said something to me that made me think. He said every time I get close to that brass ring, I always miss it. In other words, he was sayin' I've never had the big one."
Hardy paused for a moment and gathered his thoughts then continued, "At first I was angry, but then I realized what Triple H was trying to do, he was trying to motivate me, he was trying to change me, he was trying to make me better. Congratulations Game, you have motivated me, YOU HAVE FIRED ME UP! YOU HAVE MADE ME BETTER!" The fans cheered as Hardy calmed himself down a little bit, "And at No Mercy I'm gonna be reaching for the brass ring, I'M GONNA BE REACHING FOR YOUR WWE CHAMPIONSHIP!!'
Hardy pause and let the fans cheer again, the seemed to like the idea of Jeff Hardy as the WWE Champion. "Now, there's somebody else I'd like to speak of," continued Hardy as he changed the subject. "Vladimir Kozlov. You speak of how you're always craving competition, and yet last week, after I won the Fatal-4-Way you struck me from behind instead of facing me like a man!" (A/N: Technically speaking, he marched right down to the ring and beat the hell out of him, Hardy was just tired from his match so he wasn't able to fight back. "Well Vladimir, if its so much competition you're craving then…"
But suddenly Man with a Plan sounded through the arena and interrupted Hardy, the Brian Kendrick came strutting out from the back followed by Ezekiel. Kendrick had a mic in his hand, so it appeared that he had something to say as well. "Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, Jeff," interrupted Kendrick. "I think you're forgetting about somebody! And now regardless of what Vladimir might have done to you last week, you've got bigger fish to fry buddy! You've gotta worry about the Brian Kendrick right now." Kendrick walked down the ramp with Ezekiel following behind him, as Kendrick caused Hardy came forward and leaned on the ropes and stared out at Kendrick.
"Oh, you mean the Brian Kendrick I beat in the Fatal-4-Way, to become THE NUMBER ONE CONTENDER!!?" asked Hardy, causing the fans to cheer.
"That was last week Jeff!" protested Hardy. "And last week was some sort of chaotic free-for-all! A had a psychopath out there trying to take my head off with a steel chair! I was busy keeping my face from being rearranged, otherwise I would've dominated. That wasn't the proper platform for me to showcase my talents and abilities Jeff. That match was chaos and was better fitting for that idiot Machetti… who was the one who kept me from winning it in the first place!" The fans booed loudly as Kendrick tried to blame his loss on Machetti, but Kendrick continued talking, "What? You don't believe me? Well tonight, its one-on-one. Unless of course, you've got something else to do, like maybe one of those Extra Curricular Activities Triple H has been talking about? But either way, I'm still gonna beat your ass tonight!"
Ezekiel helped Kendrick take his jacket off, then he went up the steps and got in the ring for the match seemingly oblivious to the boos from the crowd. Kendrick stepped into the middle of the ring and grinned at Hardy, seemingly pleased with himself, but Hardy met Kendrick in the middle of the ring AND SLAPPED HIM ACROSS THE FACE!! Kendrick fell to the mat and landed on his hands and knees as teferee Charles Robinson called for the bell, the match was now officially underway.
Hardy followed after Kendrick who rolled over to the corner and started to pull himself back up. But Hardy came over and kicked Kendrick in the stomach then went off on him with a relentless series of right hands, eventually the referee had to pull Hardy off of Kendrick to get him to break it up. While the referee reprimanded Hardy, Kendrick pulled himself back up, and as soon as Robinson stepped out of the way he rushed at Hardy, BUT HARDY CAUGHT HIM WITH A HIP TOSS! Kendrick hit the mat and scrambled back up to his feet, but Hardy grabbed him and rammed him face-first into the top turnbuckle in the corner. Hardy kicked Kendrick in the midsection, and hit and overhead shot to the face, eventually the referee pulled him away again, but Hardy went around him and booted Kendrick in the stomach again. ardy pulled Kendrick out of the corner and into the middle of the ring, then bent him over and stuck his head between his legs, BUT KENDRICK COUNTERED WITH A BACK DROP!!
Hardy and Kendrick both rolled across the ring, Kendrick quickly got back up while Hardy needed to use the ropes on the opposite side of the ring. But as soon as Hardy was back on his feet, Kendrick rushed across the ring, AND CLOTHESLINED HARDY OUT TO THE FLOOR!! Hardy hit the floor with a loud thud, Ezekiel came around the steps to watch while Kendrick stood in the middle of the ring and did a cocky dance. Kendrick turned to the ropes and made a big deal about going after Hardy, but the referee came over and restrained him, wanting to check it Hardy was okay after the rough landing. Kendrick took offense to that and started arguing with the referee, subtly drawing him back into the middle of the ring while keeping his back to Hardy as they continued to argue. At that point Ezekiel saw his opportunity and pulled Hardy back up to his feet and leaned him back against the steps. Ezekiel took a few steps back then rushed at Hardy RUNNING SHOULDER BLOCK INTO THE STEPS!! HARDY WAS JUST CRUSHED BETWEEN A RUNNING BEAR AND THE STEEL STEPS!!
Ezekiel quickly pulled Hardy back up to his feet and while Kendrick was still arguing with the referee, he rolled Hardy back into the ring. Kendrick had seen the whole thing over the referee's shoulder, and quickly ran over to Hardy and covered him for a pin, ONE… TWO… TH—HARDY GOT HIS FOOT ON THE BOTTOM ROPE!! Kendrick got off of Hardy then roughly rolled him into the middle of the ring, Hardy went to sit up, but Kendrick came over and kicked him hard in the back. Hardy let out a yell but stayed in the sitting position as Kendrick turned around and ran to the ropes, then bounced off AND DROPKICKED HARDY IN THE FACE!! Kendrick scrambled back on top of Hardy and hooked his leg for a pin, ONE… TWO… THR—HARDY KICKED OUT!!
Kendrick glared down at Hardy as he got back up to his feet, but then backed up into the corner. Kendrick did a dance as he waited for Hardy to fight back up to his feet then rushed out of the corner and jumped up into the air as Hardy turned around, JUMPING CALF KI—HARDY DUCKED IT!! Kendrick flew over Hardy and landed awkwardly on his feet, but Hardy grabbed him, spun him around and put him in a side headlock, TWIST OF FATE!! Hardy rolled Kendrick onto his back and hooked his leg for a pin, ONE… TWO… THRE—EZEKIEL PULLED THE REFEREE OUT OF THE RING!!
Charles Robinson hit the floor with a thud while Ezekiel climbed up onto the ring apron and got in the ring. He went over to Hardy and broke up the pin then pulled him up to his feet and roughly whipped him into the corner. Hardy hit the turnbuckle and had to grab the ropes to keep from falling on his face, but Ezekiel rushed at him AND SQUASHED HIM WITH A TURNBUCKLE BODY SPLASH!! Ezekiel stepped back and pulled Hardy out of the ring, then hoisted him up onto his shoulders AND APPLIED PRESSURE FOR THE TORTURE RACK!! The fans booed loudly as Kendrick got back up to his feet and grinned at Hardy's predicament, but he wasn't grinning for long, suddenly… RIOT TIME HIT!!
The fans cheered loudly as Machetti came running out from the back wearing his metallic blue shorts and sleeveless hoody and wielding his painted steel chair. Kendrick quickly bailed out of the ring while Ezekiel dropped Hardy to the mat and kicked him out of the way. Machetti slid into the ring and shot up to his feet AND BLASTED EZEKIEL WITH THE CHAIR! Ezekiel staggered backwards in a slight daze, BUT STAYED ON HIS FEET! While still holding the chair, Machetti ran to the ropes and jumped up onto the middle one, then srpingboarded off across the ring at Ezekiel, AND BASHED HIM IN THE HEAD WITH A FLYING CHAIR SHOT!! EZEKIEL WENT DOWN!! Ezekiel rolled out of the ring and dropped down to the floor, Kendrick ran over to check on his bear while Machetti turned around and helped Hardy back up. But then the bell rang, Charles Robinson had recovered and had ended the match. He went passed Kendrick and Ezekiel and had a word with Justin Roberts over in the time-keeper's corner.
"The referee has declared this match a no-contest on account of a double disqualification!" announced Roberts as the fans booed. "But has RESTARTED the match as A TAG TEAM MATCH!!" The boos chanced to cheers as Hardy and Machetti stood in the ring and glared out at Kendrick and Ezekiel, the grin on Machetti's face promised pain. But before the match could get restarted the cameras faded to black and Smackdown went to a commercial break.
---x---
Smackdown came back from the commercial break and the match was about to start, Machetti had taken off his hoody, leaving him in the metallic blue shorts and his chair was on the steel steps behind Hardy who was on the ring apron. Ezekiel was standing across the ring from Machetti in the other corner while Kendrick was practically hiding behind his bear… uh… tag team partner on the apron. This was Ezekiel's first official match in the WWE and he looked like he was planning on making it his first victory as well. Charles Robinson was once again standing in the middle of the ring, acting as the referee in the match and called Machetti and Ezekiel over. Machetti pushed off of the turnbuckle he was leaning on and met Ezekiel in the middle of the ring, after making sure everyone was ready, Robinson called for the bell, the match was officially restarted and officially underway.
Right off the bat Machetti rushed at Big Zeke and hit him with a clothesline, but it didn't do anything. But that didn't upset Machetti, he backed up then rushed at Ezekiel again and hit him with another clothesline… but got the same result. Machetti backed up even further this time and pushed back against the ropes, then bounced off and charged at Ezekiel for another clothesline, BUT EZEKIEL LEVELED HIM WITH A LARIAT CLOTHESLINE OF HIS OWN!! Machetti went down hard but quickly rolled away from Ezekiel and started to crawl towards the ropes. Ezekiel followed Machetti and grabbed one of his legs, then dragged him backwards into the middle of the ring. Machetti pushed himself up onto his hands and knee and tried to crawl away, but Ezekiel held him back. Suddenly Machetti surged up off of the mat and whipped his free leg around, connecting with the side of Ezekiel's face, ENZUIGIRI!! Ezekiel staggered backwards in a daze, but remained on his feet, Machetti shot up off of the mat and spun around in midair, then drove both of his feet into Ezekiel's chest, CORKSCREW DROPKICK!! Ezekiel was launched backwards into the ropes and ended up getting his arms caught in the top and middle rope!
Machetti immediately rushed at him and went off on the trapped bear with a flurry of forearms to the face. But the referee came over and grabbed Machetti from behind, then pulled him off of Big Zeke. Robinson scolded Machetti for attacking his opponent while he was trapped in the ropes, then went over to Ezekiel to free him. As soon as he was free Machetti rushed at Ezekiel, but Ezekiel suddenly surged out of the corner AND COLLIDED WITH MACHETTI FOR A RUNNING SOLDER BLOCK!! Ezekiel had a good one hundred pounds over Machetti and as a result, he was launched backwards across the ring and ended up rolling to a stop at the ropes on the other side. Machetti grabbed hold of the ropes and watched the HD-Tron as he started pulling himself back up. Ezekiel rushed at Machetti from behind, but Machetti suddenly shot out both of his legs and drove them into Ezekiel's stomach, MULE KICK!! Esekiel was caught off guarded and doubled over, but Machetti launched himself up off of the mat and did a backflip, BACKFLIP KICK!! Machetti drove his feet and lower legs into Ezekiel's face, AND THE BIG MAN FINALLY WENT DOWN!!
But Ezekiel immediately sat up and started getting back up, it looked like he was getting angry. Machetti went back over to the ropes and got out of the ring and onto the ring apron, as Ezekiel stood up, he hoisted himself up onto the top rope and springboarded across the ring, SPRINGBOARD SEATED SENT—EZEKIEL CAUGHT HIM ON HIS SHOULDERS!! Ezekiel grabbed Machetti's sides THEN DROVE HIM DOWN TO THE MAT FOR A POWERBOMB!! Ezekiel covered Machetti and hooked one of his legs for a pin, ONE… TWO… TH—MACHETTI KICKED OUT!! Ezekiel didn't seem overly upset that Machetti had kicked out, while Kendrick actually seemed happy… happy that Machetti was going to continue to be punished. Ezekiel got up and pulled Machetti back up to his feet then whipped him into the ropes, Machetti bounced off and went back to Ezekiel, but Ezekiel caught him, flipped him over his head and drove him back-first down to the mat, POWERSLAM!! Ezekiel folded Machetti in half and went for another pin, ONE… TWO… THRE—HARDY GOT IN THE RING AND BROKE IT UP!!
Ezekiel glared at Hardy as the referee escorted him back to the corner, Kendrick still didn't seem to mind and was watching Ezekiel and Machetti with a cocky grin. Right now, his bear… uh… advisor, was dominating the man that had been really getting on his nerves lately. And he was lowing every second of it. Ezekiel got up and pulled Machetti up to his feet, then dragged him towards the corner before violently whipping him into the turnbuckles, MACHETTI SLAMMED HARD INTO THE CORNER AND FELL ON HIS BACK!! Ezekiel simply went back over to Machetti and hauled him back up onto his feet, then dragged him across the ring into the opposite corner and went to do it again, BUT MACHETTI LEAP-FROGGED EZEKIEL AND LANDED ON THE TOP TURNBUCKLE!! Ezekiel didn't have a second to react, because Machetti suddenly springboarded backwards off of the turnbuckle and landed on his shoulders, then immediately fell backwards, REVERSE HURRICURANA!!
Ezekiel was sent rolling across the ring as Machetti went to the corner AND TAGGED IN HARDY!! Hardy got in the ring and he and Machetti went over to Ezekiel and pulled him back up, then double whipped him into their empty corner. Machetti went forward and dropped down onto his hands and knees while Hardy backed up into the middle of the ring, but then rushed towards the corner, jumped up onto Machetti's back, and launched off of it, POETRY IN MOTION!!! Hardy slammed into Ezekiel as Machetti rolled under the bottom rope and onto the ring apron, leaving Hardy and Ezekiel in the ring to continue the match. Hardy pulled himself back up and saw that Ezekiel was now in a seated position against the bottom and middle turnbuckles, he ran to the corner and grabbed onto the top ropes, then launched himself backwards and up into the air, before swinging his legs back and driving them into Ezekiel's chest, SLINGSHOT DROPKICK!! Ezekiel fell flat while Hardy dragged him out of the corner and covered him for a pin, ONE… TWO… TH—EZEKIEL LAUNCHED HARDY OFF OF HIM TO KICK OUT!!
Hardy rolled over to the ropes and pulled himself back up, then turned around as Ezekiel got up as well. Hardy rushed at Ezekiel and nailed him with a flying forearm to the face, Ezekiel went staggering backwards into the middle of the ring, but didn't go down. Hardy backed up into the ropes and bounced off then rushed at Ezekiel and jumped up into the air, EXTREME NECKBREA—EZEKIEL CUAGHT HIM IN A BEAR HUG!! Ezekiel squeezed his arms around Hardy and applied pressure to the hold, then mouthed off to Machetti and shouted, "Bet he wishes I wasn't a bear now!" Machetti just smirked, and despite the fact that his partner was having the life squeezed out of him, seemed to find it amusing that the bear had Hardy in a bear hug. Ezekiel didn't seem to like Machetti's lack of a response, so he turned around AND RAMMED HARDY'S BACK INTO THE TURNBUCKLES IN KENDRICK'S CORNER!!
Ezekiel broke the bear hug, then reached out and tagged in Kendrick. Ezekiel got out of the ring, while Kendrick got in and worked over Hardy with a bunch of kicks to the midsection. Now that their opponents weren't fighting back, this seemed like the perfect time for Kendrick to get involved with the match. Kendrick took a few steps away from Hardy, who was still leaning against the corner, then ran at him, jumped up and drove his feet into his check before backflipping off, BACKFLIP DROPKICK!! Kendrick landed on his feet, but immediately jumped back up and nailed Hardy with an enzuigiri. Hardy fell forward and rolled into the middle of the ring while Kendrick stayed in the corner and did a dance, causing Machetti to glare at him from across the ring. Hardy started getting back up, but Kendrick ran passed Hardy to the ropes in front of him, then bounced off and jumped up into the air, JUMPING CALF KICK!! Hardy went down and Kendrick quickly hooked his legs and made the cover, ONE… TWO… THR—HARDY KICKED OUT!!
Kendrick glared down at Hardy, then pulled him back up and tagged in Ezekiel. Ezekiel got into the ring and grabbed Hardy and threw one of his arms over his shoulder while Kendrick did the same thing on the other side. Then at the same time, they hoisted Hardy up into the air and over their heads so he was handing upside down, before driving him down to the mat DOUBLE SUPLEX!! Kendrick got out of the ring while Ezekiel got up and pulled Hardy up with him, he turned and whipped Hardy hard into the corner then charged at him AND CRUSHED HIM WITH A TURNBUCKLE BODY SPLASH!! Hardy staggered forward in a daze as Ezekiel pulled him back into the middle of the ring then whipped him into the ropes, Hardy bounced off AND EZEKIEL CAUGHT HIM WITH A BEAR HUG!!
Hardy screamed out in pain as Ezekiel applied pressure to the hold, but he wasn't going to give up. This was just like another one of those cases where the brass ring was hanging in front of him, if he gave up now and tapped out so he could escape some pain he'd never get the ring. But if he continued to fight and eventually found a way to get out of this, he'd grab the ring and win the match. On the apron Machetti seemed to sense that Hardy needed help so he turned around to face the fans and started a Hardy chant. The fans quickly joined in and joined Machetti in cheering on the Charismatic Enigma. HARDY! HARDY! HARDY! Hardy was a fan favorite and it wasn't long before the entire arena was chanting for him, hearing the crowd chanting his name started to give Hardy the motivation he needed, there was no way in hell he was giving up now. The fans were all counting on him to get out of this, he wasn't going to disappoint them. Machetti turned back around and climbed up onto the middle rope then leaned into the ring and cheered on his partner, "Come on Hardy! You gonna grab that ring? Or are you gonna fall short again? If that's the case, why don't you let me fight Triple H at No Mercy? If you can't beat this guy, you won't be able to beat Triple H, especially for the title!"
Machetti's 'motivational comments' in addition to the continuous cheering of the crowd lit a fire inside of Hardy, he started fighting even harder as he fans continue to chant for him, HARDY! HARDY! HARDY! Hardy fought to take a deep breath, then reached his arms up and slapped both sides of Ezekiel's head. The bear was caught off guard which allowed Hardy to lunge forward AND DRIVE HIS FOREHEAD INTO EZEKIEL'S FOR A BIG HEADBUTT!! Ezekiel dropped Hardy and went staggering backwards, but Hardy shot up and drove his leg into Ezekiel's stomach, then swung his other leg around and drove it into his chest, WINDMILL KICK!! Ezekiel was launched backwards and went down, Hardy crawled to the corner, AND TAGGED IN MACHETT!!
The cheers from the crowd nearly blew the roof off of the arena. Machetti raced across the ring AND KNOCKED KENDRICK OFF OF THE APRON! Machetti glanced over his shoulder and saw Ezekiel getting back up, he quickly climbed up onto the top rope then backflipped up into the air and out of the corner, over Ezekiel's head, but grabbed him on the way down, MOONSAULT DDT!! Ezekiel's head was driving into the mat with authority, Machetti quickly rolled him onto his back and went for a pin, ONE… TWO… THR—KENDRICK GOT IN THE RING AND BROKE IT UP!! Kendrick continued in an attempt to attack Machetti but the referee pulled him off and backed him into the corner. Machetti rolled over into the opposite corner and sat there watching Kendrick argue with the referee, but then he smirked when he noticed Ezekiel getting back up, and the multicolored object on the steps. While the referee was distracted Machetti quickly grabbed the chair and stood up, carefully keeping it hidden behind his back. Ezekiel got up and charged across the ring at Machetti BUT MACHETTI BLASTED HIM IN THE FACE WITH THE CHAIR!!
Machetti quickly dropped the chair and slid it out of the ring with his foot as Ezekiel went staggering backwards. The referee turned back around, but had missed the whole thing. Machetti charged at Ezekiel and did a handspring, then launched himself up into the air and swung his leg around, HANDSPRING SPINNING WHEEL KICK!! Ezekiel staggered backwards into the corner AND ACCIDENTALLY KNOCKED KENDRICK OFF OF THE APRON!! Machetti ran at Ezekiel and did a handspring, then a front-flip, TURNBUCKLE SENTON!! Machetti slammed back-first into Ezekiel's face and chest. But he quickly jumped back up to his feet, then jumped up onto his shoulders, he fell backwards and sent Ezekiel rolling into the middle of the ring with a hurricurana. Machetti quickly got back up and climbed up onto the top rope, he glanced downward and saw that Kendrick was still down on the floor then launched up and out of the corner with a backflip, SHOOTING STAR PRESS LEG DROP!! Machetti rolled over and hooked Ezekiel's leg for a pin, ONE… TWO… THRE—EZEKIEL MANAGED TO KICK OUT!!
Machetti stared down in absolute shock, he glanced over his shoulder at Hardy, who had just pulled himself up, but he couldn't believe it either, somehow Ezekiel had kicked out! Machetti gritted his teeth and got back up, then ran to the ropes and bounced off, he did a handspring followed by a backflip and went crashing down on Ezekiel, HANDSPRING MOONSAULT!! Machetti shot back up to his feet then turned and ran the ropes, he jumped up onto the top one and backflipped off, SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULT!! Machetti kept going and rolled off of Ezekiel and got back up to his feet, then he ran at him and jumped up into the air for a backflip, RUNNING SHOOTING STAR PRESS!! Machetti got back up and after a bit of effort dragged the bear closer to his corner Machetti turned around AND TAGGED IN HARDY!! Hardy didn't waste any time and quickly climbed up onto the top rope while Machetti quickly ran across the ring and dove through the ropes he grabbed Kendrick, swung around, and drove his head down to the floor SUICIDE DIVE DDT!!! With Kendrick and Machetti out of the way, and Ezekiel out on the mat, Hardy launched himself out of the corner with a front-flip, SWANTON BOMB!! Hardy hooked Ezekiel's leg, ONE… TWO… THREE!! HE GOT IT!!
No More Words played as Hardy rolled off of Ezekiel and out of the ring, he stood at the bottom of the entrance ramp. Machetti came around the ring and joined him after picking up his painted chair, Machetti slapped hands with Hardy who started backing up the entrance ramp with the fans still cheering him. Machetti stayed where he was and mouthed off to Kendrick, who had gotten back in the ring and was checking on his bear… uh… advisor. Hardy stood on top of the entrance ramp and raised his arms up into the air, he turned around BUT VLADIMIR KOZLOV CAME OUT OF NOWHERE AND TOOK HIS HEAD OFF WITH A KICK TO THE FACE!!
Machetti glanced over his shoulder and saw his partner go down, he quickly turned around and rushed up the ramp. He swung his chair at Kozlov, but the Mauler simply leaned forward AND TOOK THE SHOT RIGHT TO THE HEAD!! Machetti pulled the chair back and stared in surprise, KOZLOV WAS COMPLETELY UNFAZED!! Machetti raised an eyebrow and glanced down at the seat of his chair which now had a new dent in it. "Well… this is embarrassing," commented Machetti, "I was expecting you to fall down or something." Kozlov glared at Machetti and stared advancing on him.
"HEY LOOK! A DISTRACTION!" Machetti called out as he pointed at something behind Kozlov, Kozlov turned and looked over his shoulder for the distraction… but there was nothing there. MACHETTI BLASTED KOZLOV WITH ANOTHER CHAIR SHOT! BUT IT DID NOTHING!! Kozlov turned back around and glared at Machetti, "Damn… I don't suppose you'd fall for that again?" Kozlov rushed at Machetti AND CLOTHESLINED HIM DOWN TO THE GROUND!! Down in the ring, Kendrick was grinning as he watch the Moscow Mauler slid the chair to the side with his foot then reach down and pulled Machetti back up. Kozlov turned back upside down and tucked his head under his arm, then placed Machetti's feet on the ground… THEN FELL BACK AND DROVE MACHETTI'S HEAD DOWN TO THE STEEL RAMP WITH AN INVERTED DDT!!
Kozlov got back up and stood over Machetti and Hardy as the fans booed and chanted You Suck! JR and Tazz showed replays of Kozlov's attack on Hardy, then the two chair shots from Machetti that didn't do anything, followed by a replay of Kozlov driving the back of Machetti's head down to the hard unforgiving steal with that DDT. Eventually the camera faded and cut to the back.
---x---
Smackdown was still airing from Nashville, it had just come back from the commercial break following Carlito's Cabana. The cameras went outside of the arena and showed the Country Music Hall of Fame, the cameras then went inside the arena to the Trainer's Room where Machetti was lying on a bed. He had bandages wrapped around his head from his earlier 'mauling' at the hands of Vladimir Kozlov. Maria was sitting in a chair beside Machetti's bed and was sketching. "You sure you're gonna be alright?" asked Maria as she looked at him over her sketch pad.
"I should be," replied Machetti with a small smile. "I know I keep calling that guy that hangs out with Kendrick a bear… but that's cause I can never remember his name. But I'm not sure what this Kozlov guy is, I feel like I just got hit by a small truck."
"I think its safe to say that you got mauled by the mauler," commented Maria.
"Gee… aren't I lucky," said Machetti. "Even my chair took a beating, did you see the dents that guy's head put in it?"
"Yes I saw that, and I'm glad it wasn't you his head did that to," Maria told him.
"Good point," agreed Machetti.
"Hey Maria, hey Machetti, what're you guys doing?" came the voice of Brie Bella as she walked into the room.
"Hey Brie!" greeted Maria, "I'm actually doing a couple of sketches while I'm keeping this guy company."
"I just got mauled by an angry Russian guy… I think," explained Machetti as Brie glanced at Maria's sketches. "Didn't I just see you walk passed this room?"
"Nope, you must've hit your head harder than you though," Brie said quickly then she changed the subject. "Wow Maria, these are great."
"Thank you," replied Maria.
"You know," commented Brie, "I heard you designed one of your outfits for Playboy."
"Yes I actually did," Maria assured her.
"Heh heh," chuckled Machetti. "She still wears that one sometimes… although… she doesn't wear it for long is you get what I mean…"
"You're so bad!" gasped Maria, she walked over and hit him on the head.
"OW!" complained Machetti as he rubbed the spot where Maria had hit him. "Yeah… hitting an injury makes it so much better."
Maria smiled then lifted herself up onto the bed and sat on his stomach, causing him to grunt. Maria turned back to Brie, "I've actually done some of my outfits for the ring, and for charities before. Just in my free time really."
"Wow, do you think maybe you could make me something for the ring?" asked Brie.
"Yeah, definitely," answered Maria. "And I'm sure I can make you look very hot."
"You know, just in case something snags or something, could you make me an extra one exactly the same?" inquired Brie. "You know, a girl can't have too many outfits."
"This may be the head injury talking, but why would you want them exactly the same?" questioned Machetti with a look of confusion on his face. "Wouldn't you at least want the extra on in a different color or something? I thought it was a fashion no-no if you had two of the same outfit."
"Hey! He's actually learning!" cheered Maria, causing Machetti's eyes to go wide in horror.
"Hey rookie!" came Victoria's voice as she and Natalya barged in. "Maria."
"When did this become the Women's Locker Room?" Machetti asked out loud as he glanced from Maria, to Brie, to Victoria and Natalya.
"What happened to you?" asked Natalya, who was momentarily distracted from their original intention of coming in here.
"I got mauled," Machetti said with a shrug.
"Anyway! We've been thinkin'," Victoria cut in, as she glared at Brie and gestured to Natalya and herself. "When I'm wrestling and beating you up while you scurry, you're so scared you run underneath the ring. We kind of figured it out…"
"Its all starting to make sense to us now," added Natalya.
"This I've gotta hear," muttered Machetti.
"Well," continued Victoria as she kept her attention on Brie, "when you come back in the ring you're so glowed up, you're so energized…"
"And you have this little extra pep in your step," put in Natalya.
"Exactly," said Victoria as pointed a finger at Brie. "You're having an affair with… HORNSWOGGLE!" As bizarre as the statement was, it lost all its substance when Machetti burst out laughing, which was quite a feat when he still had Maria sitting on his stomach.
"Ha ha ha! An affair… with Hornswoggle…" laughed Machetti who was in hysterics. Brie rolled her eyes while Natalya and Victoria glared at him. "Oh God! Ha ha ha! Does Finlay know about this!?"
"Just go away!" scolded Natalya.
"Yeah… uh, first of all, you two came in here," pointed out Machetti. "And second of all, Maria's kind of sitting on me."
"Then for once, shut up and stop annoying me," snapped Natalya.
Okay, okay," conceded Machetti, he dropped his voice and muttered, "Bitch."
"What was that?" demanded Natalya, who completely forgetting about harassing Brie and Maria and instead focused on Machetti.
"Nothing, I said… that'll be a cinch," lied Machetti with a grin.
"Anyways, anyways," said Victoria and she turned her attention back to Brie, Natalya was still glaring at Machetti though. "Brie, I'm gonna find out about it, and when I do…"
"No, we're gonna find out about it BFF," corrected Natalya.
"That's right, we're gonna find out about it," agreed Victoria.
"Cause you can hide all you want," threatened Natalya. "But you know what, we don't keep secrets around here Brie."
"No secrets," repeated Victoria.
"Oh… well… in that case," commented Machetti. "You remember last week, when you attempted to get in the Divas Locker Room… but the uh… door was locked? Yeah… that was… kind of my bad. Sorry."
Brie, Victoria, and Natalya all stared at Machetti and Maria, the latter of the two hit the former on the head again. "Ow!" complained Machetti. "They said no secrets… geez. Look if you wanna settle this why don't you two take on those three… I mean…" Machetti trailed off, and actually counted Maria and Brie. "Yeah… hits to the head… not good. Like I was saying, why don't you two take on those two next week?"
"Sounds good to me," commented Natalya, "Me and my BFF, versus the rookie and Donna Karen New York." The rather agitated Canadian Diva reached out and pulled Maria's sketch pad away from her. But Machetti suddenly shot his legs out and grabbed the sketch pad with his feet and yanked it away from her.
"Yoink," said Machetti as he lifted his legs up, allowing Maria to reach over at take her sketch pad back.
Natalya glared at Machetti then she and Victoria stormed out, it was almost impossible to bully Maria properly when Machetti was around. "We'll see you two next week."
"Yeah… I hope a tag team match was alright with you two," said Machetti, "If not… sorry for interfering, I thought I was helping."
"That's alright, its fine with me," replied Brie as she headed for the door. "Maria, I'll see you next week."
"You saved my sketch pad," commented Maria once Brie was gone.
"Yeah… she seemed kind of angry at the moment," explained Machetti. "And that was kind of my fault. Sometimes when people get angry, they break stuff, I didn't want to risk her ripping up your sketches, I know they mean a lot to you."
Maria smiled then lightly tossed the sketch pad into the chair she had been sitting in before. Maria moved and threw her leg over Machetti and straddled him, "You know, we're alone in the trainer's office," pointed out Maria.
"Yeah… there's a Khali match up next," replied Machetti. "The trainer thought I would be alright for now, so he went to watch the match and make sure he wouldn't have any more work later."
"Well then… I can think of something we could do," Maria told him. "and it'll probably make you feel a lot better."
A smile appeared on Machetti's face then he looked directly into the camera and coughed. A few seconds passed then he shouted, "CARL GET OUT!!"
Carl the cameraman quickly turned around and ran out of the room closing the door behind him. It slightly muffled some odd noises that were coming from inside. The cameras then cut to the ring where Scotty Goldman was awaiting his opponent.
---x---
Yup, once again Machetti's mere presence prevents a Diva confrontation from going bad. And yes, he got mauled by the Moscow Mauler.
'Till Next Time…
Peace!