Phoebe's POV:

Darcy and I went to school on Monday. We couldn't stay inside all day, even though I wanted to. School was a blur for the rest of the week. I woke up, pretended to pay attention in class, went to Darcy's, ate, and then sometimes cried. I was getting better, now I was just angry.

By the time finals came, I was ready to go to NYU and forget about Seattle. I had to go back to my real house and pack up my clothes. My father stayed in his office the entire time. My mother tried to make me come back just for the summer. No thanks.

With one final test left, I eased up on my studying. It was for English, which was easy. Darcy started hanging out over at Blaine's more ever since he told her that he loved her. They acted like Blaine and I once acted.

Gavin came over to Darcy's house to help ease the boredom. We've gone back to the way we used to act. He got me to laugh, listened to my rants about Blaine, and comforted me whenever I was sad. I was abusing his friendship but I didn't care.

We were lying on Darcy's bed, staring up at the ceiling, talking about our futures. Gavin had a flight booked for Australia the day after I graduated. He was trying to convince me to come.

"The landscapes of Australia would be perfect to shoot," he exclaimed, "Then we can go to Haiti, Indonesia, Africa, and wherever else we wanted."

"That's a fairytale idea Gav," I told him, "We've to start growing up some time."

"But why does it have to be so soon?"

I didn't know the answer. I didn't know a lot of things. Why did Blaine do what he did? Why did I still hurt? When was I going to be happy again? Should I forgive Blaine? I missed him, which was obvious. He was supposed to come to my graduation, well be in the graduation; but I doubt that he'd come. Did I even want him to be there? I would be nervous enough. I just wanted to feel okay again.

"Will you kiss me?" I turned towards Gavin.

He turned towards me, "Not this again."

I knew Gavin still loved me, I knew Blaine still loved me, but I didn't know what to do. All of this thinking was hurting my head; I just wanted everything to be like it was.

"Please."

"Phoebe, like I said, I'm not going to be your rebound. You know how I feel about you but I don't know how I feel about me. I get it, you're still in love with Blaine, and I'm not trying to rush you. But you can't toy with my feelings just to humor yourself," he said.

"I'm not trying to humor myself. I'm just not ready to get back into a relationship."

Gavin pushed himself into a sitting position, "That's such a cliché of a saying."

"I'm sorry."

He stood up from the bed, "I should get going."

"Please don't."

"You're still in love with him," Gavin shook his head, "I don't know why, but you're still in love with Blaine."

I didn't want to be in love with Blaine anymore. I wanted to feel whole again. I pulled Gavin back down to the bed, grasping his hips with my hands. He fell down on top of me, not protesting the inevitable anymore. His hands found their way under my shirt unhooked my bra strap. Once that came off, he lifted my shirt above my head and threw it on the ground. His mouth traveled from my neck and down to the button of my jeans. Easily, he popped them open and slid them midway. Gavin's mouth traveled to the hem of my thong and he kissed it, tugging it down as well. He glided his tongue inside of my folds and started to flick around. I raised my hips up to meet his and let out a pleasurable moan. Tongue deep inside of me, his mouth nibbled me. A finger slipped up and down inside, Gavin licked his fingers before sticking them back in.

Gavin reached up to massage my naked chest and his fingers pinched my nipple, hard. I thrusted my hips upwards to meet his awaiting mouth; wanting him to go deeper and faster. And he did. Grasping his hair with my fingers, I tugged at it tightly. A moan escaped from his mouth as I pulled. His tongue went deeper inside, he sucked harder.

"Yes," I breathed.

Eager and encouraged, Gavin's tongue moved relentlessly in between my folds. I was close to my peak, panting and tilting my head back. Gavin filled me with three fingers and began moving back and forth roughly. All the while, his tongue never stopped. My fingers pulled his hair as I came into his mouth. Gavin licked me dry and then pulled his own pants down.

"Condom?" he breathed.

"I don't have any," I was still in an orgasmic bliss.

"Fuck," he cursed.

Abruptly, he stood up and went inside Darcy's bathroom. He came back grinning, condom in hand.

"We're good to go."

Gavin climbed back inside of me, slipping the condom on him, and shoved his way inside of me. I was tight against his throbbing arousal, when he pushed deeper, I bit down on his shoulder. Gavin lifted my head and brought it to his mouth. I tasted my slickness, salty and sweet. Gavin's tongue filled my mouth, deep throating me. He used his fingers to finger me again. I groaned and tried to close my legs.

"Come on baby," he kissed my shoulder.

"Mhmm," I nodded.

Aggressively pumping inside of me, I clung onto his shoulders, digging my nails into him. He let out an agonized groan inside of my mouth. A few thrusts later, he came inside of me. Gavin growled, stilling as he orgasmed. He laid sedated on top of me, I tilted my hips for him to finish the job.

"Uhm, Gav?"

He looked down at me and grinned, "Need a little help?"

Gavin kissed me softly as he pounded into me again. His mouth moved down to the right side of my chest. The flicking of his tongue around my nipple caused me to bite my lip. Gavin's teeth tugged and pulled at my nipple.

"Ahh!" I cried.

This only made his teeth clamp down tighter on me, I started spiraling upwards. I clutched onto Gavin's body as I had my second orgasm. He clamped his mouth over mine as I tried to scream out in pleasure. As I came down, Gavin rolled off of me. He was breathing heavily, hands above his head.

"That," he panted, "Was good."

"Mhmm."

My mind wandered off to how disgusting I felt now. Here I was sleeping with another guy while still being in love with Blaine. I was a whore, the thought brought tears to my eyes. Turning away from Gavin, I tried to subdue my sobs.

"Hey, hey," he leaned over me, "What's wrong?"

"I just feel bad about what I just did," I cried, "How could I do that? To you, to Blaine. I'm a terrible person."

"If you were a terrible person Phee, you wouldn't be crying. I could've said no to you and I didn't, I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry?" I wiped my eyes, "You did nothing wrong."

"I took advantage of you while you're still in love with Blaine. I shouldn't have done that," he stood up, "I should go."

"Please don't," I grabbed his arm.

Gavin gave me a small smile, "Darcy will probably be back soon. I'll see you at graduation."

He gave me a kiss before putting his clothes back on and walking out the door. Batman ran into the room, he was another reminder of Blaine. I stood up to go shower, Batman followed. He waited patiently for me as I sat inside the shower crying.

When I told Darcy what I had done she didn't judge me. She said that I deserved to try and move on and that I couldn't keep feeling sorry for myself. Then why did I? Maybe because I knew that both Gavin and Blaine were in love with me and I kept bouncing between the two. Or maybe because I knew I was supposed to be back with Blaine but was too stubborn to admit it. Maybe Blaine didn't even want me anymore. He had stopped calling and texting me. Maybe he moved on, so why shouldn't I?