"Come on Dude!" Ash said "You know its all about PR! Good press vs bad press. You're the messenger, you are the best angel for the job!"
"I refuse to be trotted out like a trained monkey!" Gabriel said. "I won't be reduced to doing tricks for the humans like some sideshow freak."
"Gabe out of all the angels I know you're the only one that can come close to relating to us." Sam said. "I mean you've got thousands of years of experience in dealing with us right? There's no one else qualified."
"Who do you suggest we put in front of the media Gabriel? Michael? Castiel? Me?" Lucifer asked wearing a copy of Nick. "I can just imagine how introducing Satan as a spokesperson for heaven would go over."
"It is your calling Gabriel." Castiel said. "Father appointed you as the messenger. It is your responsibility."
Gabriel huffed and crossed his arms sitting back in his chair pouting. "I won't do it!"
"Gabriel, It has been some time since I have called you this," Raphael said. "But you are acting like a brat. You are being immature and childish."
"Easy for you to say Raph, you're not the one being trotted out like a lab specimen." Gabriel grumbled.
"Gabriel all you have to do is stand at the Pontiff's side while he makes the declaration and them perform a small miracle and you're done." Michael said. "It's a small thing. There was a time when I could have made this an order, I cannot do so now but I can make it a strong request. I am doing so. Should you refuse Dean suggests that I tattle to Seraphiel who can indeed make it an order."
"You wouldn't!" Gabriel said.
"I would." Michael replied. "I leave the choice up to you."
In the sewers beneath the city of Las Vegas the Blue eyed demon sat following the many tendrils he had established over night. From his hideaway he now influenced humans all along the Western coast of these 'United States'. The population of this city was ever changing due to what the humans called 'tourism'.
People came here for many reasons. To marry, to gamble to; conduct business; and as they came the demon entered the minds of the most easily influenced and rode them back to the places that they had originated from. His influence was spreading.
The demon became alert as he felt one of the many whores above had come into contact with a most interesting prospect. A human of power, she referred to him as 'Senator'. As the two human's copulated, the demon used the physical connection between them to enter the Senator's mind. The blue eyed demon reveled in the corruption that he found there.
This senator was a thief and an adulterer. He had used intimidation and criminal activity to force his opponent out of the election. The people who voted him in thinking that the senator would work to reduce crime in their state had no idea that the Senator had numerous questionable dealings with the very criminals he promised to oust from their borders. Yes this was a prime recruit, worth more than ten whores.
Crowley was growing more and more agitated as time went by. He had been calling for Demons all morning. Either they were all dead or they were ignoring him for some reason. He had all but convinced himself that whatever it was had managed mass demoncide when he finally got a response.
"Crowley?" The demon smirked. So you finally decided to come out of your hidey-hole?"
"What took you so long? I have been calling for hours." Crowley demanded. "I would think you would move a bit more quickly to respond to your king's commands!"
"Oh but I am moving quickly in responding to his commands, Crowley." The demon gave an evil smile. Crowley found himself surrounded by a group of demons. "He told me just moments ago to bring the Crossroads traitor to him."
In the blink of an eye Crowley found himself someplace he really didn't want to be. Surrounded by a group of pissed off Archangels and the most pissed of all was (and Crowley audibly gulped when he saw him), Lucifer.
"Well what do we have here? Why it's the former King of the Crossroads!" Lucifer smirked.
"Lucifer...um. Welcome back." Crowley said weakly
"Welcome back? That's all you have to say after plunking your arse on my throne?" Lucifer chuckled. "I would expect someone who had wrangled his way to the top spot in hell during my absence to have more fight in them. Instead you roll over like a kicked puppy."
"I was only trying to keep the place in proper running order while you were gone." Crowley attempted to explain.
"I don't believe you." Sam Winchester's voice sounded to Crowley's left. "After all Dean and I did have some dealings with you after the Apocalypse was over."
"Moose, I'm sure you have some small bit of gratitude in you. After all I did pull you out of the pit." Crowley reminded.
"That you did. And you left the most important part behind, my soul." Sam said.
"That was an accident. A simple oversight." Crowley said. I had no idea that I missed it."
"What do you say we give him the benefit of the doubt Sam? In exchange for a bit of information.." I'm going to offer you a deal Crowley. You tell me everything you plotted with angels and in return, I won't smite you where you stand."
Gabriel stood next to the Pope. The room was packed with reporters and cameramen. Gabriel was bored. Unfortunately he had promised to act in a manner worthy of an Archangel of the Lord. Of course Michael intended to curb his fun but hey he was an Archangel of the Lord and even if he couldn't act as the Trickster, well he wasn't the angel of justice for nothing. Who said he couldn't hand out just desserts after all.
The Pope had finished his introductory speech and and the old coot bowed. Gabriel was tempted to manifest a stiff wind and reveal the purple silk thong the old man was wearing under his robes but that would have definitely gotten him in trouble. Instead he looked around the room. Minor miracle how about a series of them.
Gabriel pointed to the reporter from BBC. "When you go home at night, you don women's undergarments and ask your wife to paddle your bottom and call you a dirty little boy."
He pointed to a woman from Fox News. "Your husband thinks that he is the father of your son when the truth is even you don't know. Maury Povich could spend an entire show going through all the men you fornicated with in one week.
Gabriel stepped down from the stage and walked over to another woman holding a boom mike. "Your husband knows all about Marie, He's fornicating with her too."
He walked up to a well known televangelist. "30% of the money your viewers send to you goes into paying the bills to keep your ministry on the air. 70% goes into your pocket. 0% goes to the poor and needy you claim to support.
"You are a pedophile who secretly takes photographs of the boys who come to your Bible camp. You may not have touched these boys physically but you masturbate while looking at their pictures and in your mind you have committed all sorts of lustful acts with them.
Gabriel spun around and made his way over to a young woman and gave her a gentle smile. "You will be blessed with a child you are a little over a week pregnant with a baby girl."
He walked over to an young man who sat at a soundboard. "You are barely making ends meet. You live on boxed macaroni and cheese and Ramen noodles because you always buy food for the children who live next door to you."
Gabriel looked around the crowded conference room, snorted and disappeared.