The last of the fire that had filled me with strength was fading from my veins, and the pain was coming back at full force. I glanced down at my front, right leg, knowing I could do next to nothing with it dislocated.
As the embers of the fire still flickered with in me, I took my leg into my mouth, and, screaming through my teeth, jerked it back into place. After a sharp slash of searing pain, it faded to a manageable ache, except for the sharp jabs of the badger teeth marks in my flesh. I assessed my back. The wound was long, and a bit deep.
But, no organs are injured, and I'm not going to bleed out.
I decided to leave it as it was. It was my chest that pained me the worst. Every breath was an ache and every movement a jab of agony.
I must have broken something in my chest.
I set my jaw.
I can't do anything about that now.
Now I had to focus on Wolfshade.
I gathered leaves and carried them over to Wolfshade to try to stop his bleeding. I pressed them to his face, wishing for cobwebs instead.
What if the badgers come back? The thought popped into my head.
As I held my paws to his face, the hairs on the back of my neck prickled. I shot several nervous glances over my shoulder. If the badgers returned to finish the fight, then I wouldn't have the energy to drive them off again.
I feel like I'm being hunted in my own territory. Like prey.
I looked back down at Wolfshade, my stomach twisting.
Any patrols in the area would pick up the scent of blood and rush to help us, but I couldn't afford to wait on them, not while Wolfshade's life hung in the balance. The bleeding was barely slowing. I needed real cobwebs and Echosong, but I couldn't leave Wolfshade here and go get them.
I dug my claws into the ground for a heartbeat, drawing on all the rest of my strength.
I hunched down, nosing my way under Wolfshade's heavy form. My injuries all throbbed sharply in protest as I draped him across my back and straightened, knees shaking from his weight.
I swayed for a moment until I found my balance.
I've got this.
I clenched my jaw, blocking out the pain and exhaustion that pounded through me. The blood from the slice on my back stained Wolfshade's grey fur and his tail dragged in the dirt, but I slowly took one staggering step in the direction of the camp. Then another. Then another.
The cut on my back bled heavier from Wolfshade's body rubbing into it. My chest and leg cried at the extra weight. Blood from Wolfshade's face dripped down into my eyes, but I continued to walk. Staggering, I stumbled through the underbrush.
I was panting, eyes glazed with pain and exhaustion.
It felt like I had been stumbling forward for moons.
Keep going. Keep going.
Head down, I continued on, when very faintly, I heard I voice cry out from the distance.
"I smell blood!"
I raised my head, a small jolt of energy surging into me at the sound of the voice.
"Help!" I cried with the last of my strength, my voice a desperate gasp.
Plumwillow, Egg, and Waspwhisker, and Harveymoon came shooting out of the bushes.
"What happened?" Egg meowed with a gasp, coming forward to help relieve me of Wolfshade's weight.
"Wolfshade needs Echosong. Now," I said, my voice shaking with urgency, relief and exhaustion.
Waspwhisker helped Egg to take Wolfshade, and they started back to camp. Plumwillow gave me her shoulder to lean on as we followed.
"There was a badger attack. Bouncefire is still back there. He's dead," I said, my voice a rasp.
Shock and dismay appeared on their faces. Plumwillow let out a loud cry, her legs trembling, and the two of us nearly fell as she lost her balance. She caught herself before we tumbled to the ground, but grief still masked her face.
I remembered with a jolt that Plumwillow and Bouncefire were very close.
She just lost her mate.
My face wrinkled up, and I had to look away from the power of the grief on her's.
I'm sorry.
I turned my eyes to Wolfshade's limp form.
But, dear StarClan, please don't let Wolfshade follow behind Bouncefire.
I closed my eyes swallowing around a huge lump in my throat.
Please. I need him.
Harveymoon had run ahead to make sure Echosong was ready for us when we stumbled into camp. She met us as soon as we brushed through the undergrowth, rushing over to Wolfshade with cobwebs clenched in her jaws.
"Lightningfire!" Leafstar cried, running across the camp in huge loping strides.
Brackenstorm was right on her tail, his fur bristling with fear, and Nightstorm was there too, running to me with wide eyes.
I felt a jolt when I saw Nightstorm's face. I've never seen him look so afraid before.
Leafstar stood in front of me, her face frantic as she looked me all over.
"Are you okay? Where are you hurt?" she asked, her pelt bushed out as she gazed at me.
I realized that my pelt was coated in blood. Some mine, some Wolfshade's, and some Bouncefire's.
"Please. Move," I rasped to her.
I managed to push off of Plumwillow's shoulder, taking a few teetering, staggering steps forward. Echosong was already pushing the cobwebs on Wolfshade's face before he could even be brought into her den. She was hopping on three legs, one paw on his face to press the cobwebs against the wound, and barking uncharacteristically gruff orders to Sootypaw, telling him to make a nest for Wolfshade.
"Will he be alright?" I gasped to Echosong.
"He's lost a lot of blood," she meowed grimly, then didn't say anything else.
I staggered backwards, like her words were a physical blow. Leafstar came to my side, and I leaned gratefully against my mother's shoulder.
Echosong gave me a quick once over look.
"You're still standing, so I'll get to you later," she meowed.
"Great StarClan! Wolfshade!" Minttail cried, spotting him as she came into camp.
She tore over to him, frantically circling around him, Echosong, and his carriers.
"Give me some space," Echosong meowed impatiently to Minttail.
Minttail backed up, but she still stared, horrified, as they vanished into the medicine cat den.
I itched to follow them in, to watch over Wolfshade. But, I knew Echosong needed space to work. Thankfully, I only had to wait a few heartbeat before Egg and Waspwhisker came out of the den, opening up some room.
"Can you help me inside?" I meowed to my mom.
My legs shook, and my whole body was in pain. I wasn't sure that I could stay on my paws for much longer.
"Of course," Leafstar said, guiding me forward.
I staggered slowly into the medicine cat's den with Leafstar's help. Brackenstorm followed, pacing to and fro anxiously behind me. Inside, Echosong was crouched over Wolfshade, who lay in a nest.
"The bleeding's stopped," Echosong meowed, without looking up.
Very painfully, I sat down on my haunches. Leafstar stayed at my side, not taking her eyes off of me, like she was afraid I would collapse at any moment.
Which, I suppose is completely possible.
"Lightningfire, I need you to tell me what happened," Leafstar meowed softly to me.
I blinked.
"Badgers. Three of them," I meowed hollowly, feeling strangely detached. "In the Eastern woods. Bouncefire's dead."
"Get Sharpclaw to send a large patrol to track the badgers and retrieve Bouncefire's body. If they find the badgers, they are not to engage," Leafstar meowed quickly to Brackenstorm.
My father gave a sharp nod, gently touched my ear with his nose, then dashed out of the den.
"Leafstar, help Lightningfire groom the blood out of her fur. I need her cuts clean, and I need to see where her wounds are," Echosong meowed, still busy with Wolfshade.
Echosong was already doing the same to Wolfshade, cleaning the fur on his face gently.
"I have a bad slash on my back," I meowed quietly, keeping my gaze on Wolfshade.
Leafstar got to work cleaning my shoulders. I watched Wolfshade. As Echosong cleaned away the blood, the extent of his injuries were slowly revealed. There were four big gashes running sidewise across the left side of his face, two on his cheek and two above his eye. He was missing big chunks of fur, and the area around the gashes had swollen up so badly that I couldn't make out his left eye. His left ear used to only have a nick in the bottom, but now half of it was torn off, taken off by the same blow that mauled his face.
I whimpered quietly at the sight of him, wanting to run to him and curl myself around him. I hardly felt my mother's tongue on my pelt. I hardly felt anything at all, expect for a whirling anxiety inside for Wolfshade. It clawed at my chest, swirling and rumbling like a thunderstorm. I stiffly lowered myself to the ground, watching Wolfshade the whole while.
I would give anything to go back to yesterday.
Echosong had pulled some herbs from her storage, and she was chewing them up. She pressed them to Wolfshade's face, caking the injured half in a sort of herb-mask. She dabbed some on his ear, then gave the rest of his body a quick look over. Wolfshade had no other injuries besides some swallow scratches, so she left those for now and padded over to me.
"Let's fix that cut up," Echosong meowed, looking at the long wound that snaked down my back, from my shoulder to the base of my tail.
She started to chew some herbs.
"This'll sting a little, but then it should take away the pain," Echosong said, mumbling around her mouthful of leaves.
I nodded a bit listlessly.
She coated the cut with the herbs. I didn't even flinch as it stung. The burn was nothing compared to the agony in my ribs, or the pain in my mind. Echosong added different herbs to the poultice on my back, those ones to prevent infection, she said. I stared at Wolfshade, barely half-listening to Echosong.
"Where else are you hurt?" Echosong said, pulling some of my attention back to her.
I extended my foreleg.
"I was bit here," I murmured. "The wounds are small, but deep."
Echosong gave the bite marks a good lick to clean them out before dabbing some herbs on them too.
"We'll need to keep an eye on those to make sure they don't get infected," Echosong said.
I nodded.
"And, my chest hurts," I meowed.
"Your chest?" Echosong asked with a furrowed brow.
"Yeah. Really bad. A badger threw me to the ground," I said.
I reached a paw up and lightly touched it to my chest. Echosong padded over to examine my chest. She buried an ear in my fur, listening carefully. Then she pulled her head back and ran a light paw over my chest.
"Tell me when it hurts," Echosong said.
She applied a light bit of pressure.
I let out a hiss of pain and recoiled.
"I think you cracked a rib," she meowed, pulling her paw away. "There is nothing I can do for that, besides give you something for the pain and wait for it to heal."
"My poor kit," Leafstar murmured, blue eyes full of concern as she bent her head and licked the top of my head.
"Lightningfire needs to rest," Echosong meowed gently to my mother.
Leafstar gave a small nod and straightened.
"Let me know if you need anything," Leafstar said, before turning and padding out of the den.
Echosong walked over to her herb storage, and came back hopping on three paws. She extended her one paw, and I saw two tiny black seeds where stuck to her pad.
"These are poppy seeds," she meowed. "They'll take away your pain and make you sleep."
I hesitated, looking down at them. I cast a glance up, towards Wolfshade.
"Lightningfire, you need to heal. And, to heal, you need to rest," Echosong meowed quietly.
Her eyes flickered from Wolfshade then back to me.
"There isn't anything more you can do for him right now," she said.
I closed my eyes, giving a soft sigh.
She's right.
As much as I hated to admit it.
Finally I gave a nod, then bent down and lapped up the seeds. It wasn't long before I felt a fog descending over me. Wolfshade's ruffled smoke grey pelt was the last thing I saw before my eyelids drooped, and I fell into an uneasy sleep.
XXXX
"Wolfshade," I croaked, eyes flickering open as I drifted out of my hazy, dreamless sleep.
I started to stumble to my paws, and I felt a sharp jab on pain in my chest and down my back at the movement.
"Easy there," Echosong meowed.
She put a white paw on my back and gently lowered me back into the nest. I didn't resist, but I continued to gaze around the den in confusion, my thoughts clouded from the poppy seeds.
"Wolfshade?" I said again, looking around.
I stilled when my eyes rested on his grey form, lying in a nest across from me.
"He's here," Echosong meowed. "He hasn't woken up yet, but his breathing and heart rates are stable."
I let out a huge sigh, which made my chest ache angrily, and I lowered my chin to rest it on my paws so I could keep Wolfshade in my line of sight.
"The real test will be if he makes it through the night," Echosong said softly. "But, I'm hopeful that he will."
I nodded, feeling numb at her words.
Echosong glanced towards the entrance of the den and the darkening sky outside.
"The vigil for Bouncefire is about to begin," Echosong said quietly.
My head lifted from my nest.
"I've got to go to him," I mumbled, stumbling to my feet, and gasping as my chest cried out in agony at the movement.
"No! You're too hurt, Bouncefire would understand," she said, blocking my way.
Only this morning I could have dashed around her without a problem if I really wanted to leave, but now her standing at the entrance to the den was as effective as if a monster was inside of the cave.
"Please," I begged.
I couldn't say anything else. I just stared at her, pain and grief marring my face.
Echosong dipped her head.
"Very well," she said softly. "You can pay your respects, but I cannot allow you to stay out all night, Lightningfire."
"I understand," I replied, and she stepped out of my way.
Walking as stiffly as an elder, I staggered out of the medicine cat's den and into the camp. The whole clan was already down in camp and assembled in a loose circle around Bouncefire. At the sound of my awkward gait, every cats' heads turned to look at me. They stared, taking in every scratch on my pelt, the pained way I took in every breath, the stiff way I held my front right leg, and the cut that stretched from my shoulder to base of my tail. I would carry that long scar on my skin for the rest of my life. Cats began to whisper.
"She killed a badger," Sparrowpelt muttered.
His voice was rough with grief, but he also looked at me with something close to awe.
Some cats looked at me the same way he did, while others with only sadness and some even anger.
"What happened," Clovertail demanded, stumbling up from where she crouched by her son's body, eyes dull with grief.
Tinycloud glared at me, accusation in her eyes like she blamed me for one of her brother's death and the other's maiming. I bowed my head. Perhaps it was my fault for fighting with Wolfshade. Maybe my mother wouldn't have even sent a patrol if we had been getting along. I stood in the center of the camp, prepared to take their full judgement on me.
"The three of us were on patrol," I began. "While still deep in our territory, I scented badger. Then they came out of nowhere. There were three badges, all full size."
My voice cracked. I took a moment to swallow, trying not to break down.
"It happened so quickly," I rasped. "No time to run away. We were each battling a badger, but there was only three of us. My leg dislocated when my badger took it in his jaws and shook me. Bouncefire yowled for us to climb a tree, but I couldn't with my leg. I told them to go, but Wolfshade wouldn't leave me. Neither would Bouncefire. Wolfshade drove his badger away. I was still fighting mine when I saw the other badger had Boucefire by the neck."
My eyes closed as the image of Bouncefire hanging limply from the badger's jaws formed in my mind.
Plumwillow whimpered. The rest of the Clan was dead silent.
"Both Wolfshade and I attacked the badger. We ripped into its throat with all our strength, but it was too late. Bouncefire was too far gone. We badly injured that badger, but the one I was fighting earlier came to the rescue of its companion. It tore me from the other badger with its claws," I muttered, flicking my ears back to indicate the slash on my back. "It knocked me to the ground, breaking my rib. Then it- it slashed Wolfshade, knocking him off of the other badger. His face was badly cut, and he hit his head against the ground, knocking him out. Wolfshade hasn't... he hasn't woken up yet."
I barely got these words out. They were like gravel in my mouth. I didn't want to believe it. Grief and sorrow dug their claws into my heart. Yowls of rage and sadness rose from some cats in the Clan. Most of them hadn't known about the severity of Wolfshade's injuries yet.
"The other badger was dead. And, I drove the last one off," I finished, feeling drained from the story.
"Then you carried Wolfshade halfway back to camp," Sagewhisker added.
"Yes," I said flatly.
There was admiration in some of my clan mate's eyes when they looked at me. But, seeing their respect, I felt nothing.
"I've already sent a patrol out. They tracked the badgers and they found that the remaining badgers have left our territory. But, for now, no cat is allowed to travel outside of camp alone. Tomorrow, we shall patrol extensively to ensure the badgers are really gone for good," Leafstar announced.
I hardly listened to my mother's announcement. I wouldn't be able to leave camp for a long while anyways. Some cats murmured praise, and others condolences to me, but I hardly heard those either. Cats parted around me as I padded slowly towards Bouncefire.
I buried my nose in his soft ginger fur, but even the herbs Echosong rubbed on his pelt couldn't hide the scent of dried blood and death.
"I'm so sorry I couldn't save you," I rasped, softly enough that only he could hear, but not the other cats clustered around me.
Grief swirled in my belly, and I screwed my eyes shut, crouched next to him in silence.
"Goodbye, Bouncefire," I whispered finally.
Echosong had come out, probably to hear my story and make sure I stayed true to my promise to come back. Slowly, I straightened from my crouch and hobbled over to her. I let her guide me back to the medicine cat's den.