AN: This chapter is short. Really short. The next one will be too. That's okay because I have things to do and I can't really focus on this right now.

That said, I am writing the rough draft of chapter 60, so I'm almost done! :D

Reviews:

SuperKassu: It's not slender-sickness. As for Neil… he's just a jerk.

[17] Virgin

12 March, 10:20 PM

36. Slender

The pain in my stomach catches me off-guard. It's a harsh throbbing then, but it's not extremely painful. Not like getting cut open.

At first I'm not sure where it's coming from, but after a moment it makes sense: it's Lea's pain. Wherever she is, my Lea is feeling this. We never bothered to undo that connection between our minds, and somehow it's escaped destruction now too.

I cast about for an explanation for the pain, a reasonable source. It doesn't feel like a wound, or the cramps that she gets periodically, and those have never come through the connection before. This is something new, so what is it?

Then it clicks and I close the book in my lap with a snap. Lea's lost her virginity.

Some part of me is a little hurt, childishly so, but for the most part I'm curious. The curiosity is a balance between anger and contentedness, and I know why. If they've hurt my Lea, I am never going to forgive them. If they've given her pain I will give them a hundred times more.

I dig into the pain, rooting around. Lea's strongest emotion is pleasure, and I know what it feels like. If there's a hint of pleasure in the hurt I'll find it.

I search for a couple minutes before I admit defeat: there's only pain.

The sensation vanishes and I sigh; I hope she knows what she's doing.

"That was supposed to be mine," something inside me says, "I was supposed to get that." I squash it; that's stupid. Lea's first time wasn't mine any more than her soul or her mind was. I always figured Mitch would get up the nerve to approach her, though I preferred Jeff over the observer. Lea and the Killer are on the same wavelength.

Whoever it is, I hope they care about her. I hope they love her. She deserves that at least.

Natasha kicks the door open in her usual way. She stomps into the room and tosses a thick file onto the table.

"I am so sick and tired of-," She starts.

"Where's Mitch?" I ask.

"Pardon?" She blinks at me.

"Mitch," I pause to scan the building, "he's in his room. Bring him here. Please."

She slams the door on the way out, but she doesn't argue. Perhaps the word "please" really does work.

I feel that I should tell Mitch about this: He's fond of Lea as well, and I can trust him not to tell anyone.

Mitch enters the room hesitantly. He knows something has happened, but he doesn't know what the something is.

"Undesignated?" He says.

"Mitch," I say, "hello."

"Hello, sir."

I feel a pang of annoyance at the formal tone. "I felt something."

Mitch frowns even though his face is covered I can tell. "Felt something?"

"From Lea,"

"You mean she's-,"

"No," I cut him off, "she's not dead."

Mitch breathes a sigh of relief

"I think she's had sex with someone."

The relief vanishes, "What? Why do you think that?"

I try to make it sound less odd than it us, "The pains were in my lower stomach."

"But that doesn't mean she's—,"

"Yes," I say, "it does."

"But how do you know for sure?"

"Because I know Lea. It's not a big deal."

"Sir, you realize she's not going to be able to undo this."

"Yes," I say, annoyed.

"She can't get back her virginity. She can't give it to you anymore."

I stop and look at him. Then I laugh, which is a something Mitch hasn't heard before and makes him jump in surprise.

"Lea and I had no intention of sleeping together," I say.

"But you and she were always so close," He protests.

"Platonically so."

"What?"

"Not sexually."

"Well that's news to me," Mitch pulls out his notebook and scribbles something. "I always figured your cuddling was just foreplay."

A quick pressure on his mind lets him know how displeased I am.

"Sorry," Mitch says. His hands are shaking.

I huff, "I thought I should tell you."

"I appreciate the sentiment."

"You can go now."

Mitch half-bows, which irritates me to the point that I might just strangle him, and turns to leave. He opens the door and Natasha falls into the room. I'm suddenly very thankful she couldn't hear my side of the conversation.

Mitch steps around her with a snort of disgust. He closes the door behind himself.

Natasha picks herself up and looks at me, "Cuddling?" She says.

"Is there a problem?"

"When have you cuddled with someone?"

"I wouldn't call it cuddling."

"Excuses. When did this happen?"

I snap. "Haven't you figured out that you're a replacement?!"

Natasha goes very still, "A replacement?" The hurt in her voice is real, and I feel a savage rush of pleasure when I hear it.

"Yes."

She turns and leaves, walking stiffly.

I huff and flick the book open again: fool

AN: I went on a journey through my PM inbox. Wow. I suddenly have so many old insecurities that I thought I'd left behind. Great idea there. I'm intelligent I swear.