Chapter 37

Overflow

"What are you going to do for that day?" someone asked. Hector didn't know. He didn't want to think about it. So Uther had been dead for a year, why did there have to be all this commemoration? A speech, a song, a ceremony. The man had a funeral and was dead. His brother was cold in the grave for a whole three hundred and sixty five days. Why did he have to preserve alive his memory? To torture himself? Hadn't he been tortured enough? He had no family save one lone distant cousin and he hadn't heard from them in ages.

He allowed the proceedings, but he felt numb the whole time. Florina shed a few tears, but he didn't. Men don't cry unless there's sand in their eyes. There was no sand in Ostia. The day passed by in a blur. He spent the evening sitting in the throne room that was dimly lit by candles. He was over this. He was certainly over all of this. He was the Lord of Ostia, he was pushing ahead to the future.

"Hector?" a small voice called. He looked up, and nodded. He couldn't turn Florina away. She looked amazing, it was a dress that Mirelle had made yet again. This one did not sport the plunging neckline that the yellow one did, but it was still very nice, cinching in at her slender waist. Between Mirelle and Oswin, torturing him with Florina was a pastime. She came to his side and took his hand.

"Hector, are you all right?" she asked. Hector snorted and shook his head.

"Of course I'm all right. I'm great," he said. "I'm over this, I don't need to remember it. It's done, I can't change it, let's move on. What do people want me to do? Cry hysterically?"

"Maybe not hysterically, but you do need to let some of those bad feelings out," she insisted. He pulled his hand away from hers.

"Just because you need to cry about everything doesn't mean I have to!" he snapped.

Her fists balled, he could see it from the corner of his eye. He looked up at her his face expressionless, but he was stunned. Florina was angry, unspeakably so.

"I will try not to take too much offense at that last statement as you are grieving," she said.

"I'm not grieving."

"Yes, you are!"

"You know me well, but not well enough. I don't cry, I don't grieve because nothing can be done about the fact that my brother is dead!"

Florina winced at the volume of his voice. She closed her eyes he suspected to fight back tears, and expected her to back down. Instead, after a deep breath, she squared her shoulders and looked him in the eyes.

"The fact that you're yelling at me says that you're more upset about this than you let on," the pegasus knight said. "And I know for a fact that you did cry."

"I did not."

"Don't lie! Not to me! The last person you have to hide yourself from is me!" Florina shouted. Hector did jump when she spoke. He had never heard her get so loud. She had tears forming in her eyes, but her voice was powerful, almost cutting to him.

"We were back in Ostia after we heard the news, you were here by yourself. I was hiding like I always do and I saw you," she explained, her voice quieter this time. He couldn't fully deny that. No one was supposed to have seen him, especially not her. He had to be strong for her.

"It's important to move on. It's important not to let sadness get the best of you. But you can't let go until you let it out. You can't let a bird fly out of its cage if you always keep it locked. Grief is a very dangerous thing, it pecks away at your heart until it breaks."

That was easy for her to say. Florina cried about everything. She sensed her words fell on deaf ears and she shook her head in frustration.

"I've said all I can say to you. You can deny it, but I know what I saw. I'll cry for you in public, but…so you know…your tears are mine and mine alone," Florina told him. She turned to leave but he grabbed her arm quickly.

"Don't go," the young lord ordered. She pulled away, but he had a firm grasp on her wrist.

"You talk about crying freely and now you don't want me to see you cry, so you're trying to leave," Hector commented. She sat on the arm of his chair and they were both silent for what seemed like ages. Florina did cry though more from sheer frustration than from sadness. Her tears of anger burned him.

"I'm sorry, I…" he began.

This is what she wanted, right? To talk and rehash and get nothing done? Where could he start? He looked up at her and knew in an instant he didn't have to. She didn't need him to explain what he felt only that he stop trying to hold it in. Hector wouldn't cry. He only brushed his lips against her knuckles. Her hands were still pretty rough and he liked them. He held her hand against his cheek and kissed her palms.

"Hector, I could only see you marrying a girl who could fight as well if not better than you do!"

Uther had been right. If only Hector could hear his older brother's laughter at his plight, the kind that would shake the rafters. Uther would have had a field day with the ten month separation, had more fun torturing him with Florina than Oswin ever could. Who knows, his older brother might even have tried to steal her away from him. Hector supposed he'd never know.

"Uther would have really liked you, you know that?" Hector said finally. His eyes were becoming moist and he pulled Florina closer so she had to sit on his lap. He pressed his face against her neck.

"Please don't leave me. I…I have no other family," the lord confessed. She didn't say anything, but stroked his face, and seemed to be oblivious to the tears that she brushed away with calloused fingers.

I don't know why, but I always liked this chapter a lot. Shows them going through something bad but banding together. Oh yes, and the argument. Because they have to argue sometimes.

Ha, sorry for the late-ish update (hey, it's in before midnight!). This week is shaping up to be one of the worst ever for me. That being said, I can't forsee a reason why Friday's update will be late barring extreme illness or a trip to the hospital. So see y'all Friday.