Meredith was a bunch of nerves. Nearly an hour had passed since she had parted ways with Patrick, but not before thanking him for being such a wonderful gentleman, and telling him that he will make a lucky woman a wonderful husband some day. It took her a while to find Nikki and when she did, she couldn't help but smile. It seemed her friend had found the "hot piece of ass" she had been looking for and had become so engrossed in their kiss that she didn't utter a word of protest when Meredith feigned a headache and said she was taking a cab home.

Despite the chaotic events of the night, Meredith was surprised to discover that it was barely past 10pm when she let herself into her apartment. Derek told her to be at his place at midnight and with the Friday night rush, she knew it would still take her less than twenty minutes to get to his place. What the hell was she going to do with the other ninety minutes?

Exhaling deeply, she decided to take a quick nap to pass the time by. Given how things had ended with Derek and all the promises of the night to come, she knew that sleeping would not be something they were going to be doing much of. Leaning her head back against the top of the couch, she closed her eyes and was immediately welcomed with the image of Derek. Even when he was dark and brooding, he still managed to look sexy as hell, and the leather jacket was an added bonus. Meredith found herself smiling pleasingly as the memory of the dark shirt clinging to his muscled chest brought back memories of how good it felt to run her hands across his naked torso.

"What the hell?!" Opening her eyes, Meredith shot up off the couch, her breathing labored from the unexpected image that had invaded her mind. How did she go from fantasizing about Derek to the image of his date with her hands clinging onto him possessively?

Quickly dismissing the idea of a nap, she decided to take a hot bath in hopes that it would help ease the tension that had suddenly coiled around her neck and lower back. Practicing her yoga breathing exercises, she decided it best to shake the bad thoughts from her mind. Derek had already told her the kiss was unexpected and that he didn't want it. She hadn't believed him then, but given how he had reacted to her "fake" kiss, a small part of her hoped that it meant something more. She dared not think that it was love, but his jealousy kept her hopeful that there may be more under that cool exterior.

…

Thirty minutes later, Meredith emerged from her bath feeling refreshed and renewed. Memories of her time spent with Derek and the passions they shared kept her mind focused on seeing him later that night. Catching a glimpse of her naked body on the mirror's reflection, Meredith noted a rosy blush that she had never seen before. Her nipples were pink and puckered, almost as if it was eagerly awaiting its lover's kiss. Her eyes held a brightness and a glow that had been missing lately and yet, despite all this, she couldn't help but feel some trepidation.

The reality of her situation is that she's in love with a man that may not feel the same way about her. The idea of leaving herself open and exposed to the possibilities of getting hurt terrified her, and yet…. She already knew the pains she would endure, having already gone through it the first time, if she chose to distance herself from him and while that seemed the easy way, deep down she knew she couldn't do it this time. Not without it breaking her completely.

Expelling a deep sigh to relieve her of the angst that had taken hold of her heart, she resolved to make the best of what she could tonight and the rest…well, the rest she'll take as it comes. After donning her silk robe and securely fastening the sash around her slim waist, she walked straight into her walk-in closet and began to rummage through her clothes with determination set in her eyes. She was looking for something. Something she had kept hidden and hadn't laid eyes on since she made the impulse purchase while shopping with Nikki a few months back.

After several minutes in which she had turned her closet into a chaotic mess with still no success in locating the item, she had all but given up when the corner of her eyes caught sight of the pink striped bag with the silver embossed letters on the front. Being careful not to cause injury to herself, she pulled the bag down and with nervous fingers reached inside to pull the box out. Removing the black ribbon, she flipped the lid open and parted the tissue paper. Her breath caught in her throat when her eyes fell upon the rich wine colored silk material that lay neatly folded inside.

…

"Perfect." Meredith whispered satisfactorily, a soft smile playing on her lips.

She had spent the last forty minutes getting ready, and stepping back to check her appearance one last time in the vanity mirror, even she had to admit that she looked good. The golden strands of her hair cascaded in soft rivulets down her bare back with a few wispy strands falling in front to frame her face. Bare of make-up except for the pink gloss on her lips, the misty green of her eyes were ladened with desire and her cheeks tinged a rosy blush that could only be attributed to the anticipation of what awaited her later that night.

Grabbing the overnight bag that had been sitting atop her vanity, she did a quick mental inventory to make sure she had everything she needed and as she prepared to exit her bedroom, her eyes moved to the top drawer of her nightstand. Thinking pensively for a few seconds, she contemplated bringing the item that lay tucked away in the back of the drawer, but quickly dismissed the idea.

She and Derek had long moved past the need to use it, given their last few encounters. Thinking back to the day she had decided, rather abruptly to dispense with the need to use protection, Meredith had to laugh at the irony of it all. She had been the one, after all, who had been adamant about it and had even made it a rule.

She and her father had had a big argument, the details of which she couldn't remember, and in her fury she went to a late night bar and drank until closing time. How she had managed in her heavily inebriated state to make it to Derek's apartment, she hadn't a clue. While the memories of the events leading up to it were vague, she recalled in vivid detail everything that had happened when Derek opened the door.

"Meredith? What are you doing here so late?"

"Hiiiii….."

"Have you been drinking?"

"Nope."

"You're drunk."

"Nope. Not drunk. I'm here for our sex."

"Our...?" Derek began and then stopped, his voice devoid of emotion when he finally spoke. "You came for sex."

"Yup. Sex with my sexy enemy. I'm horny and I need you…now!"

"I can't believe this!" Derek hissed, reaching out to catch her as she fell into his arms.

"Well, believe it baby! I—can you help me out of my shirt?" She slurred, struggling to unbutton her shirt with clumsy fingers.

"I don't have time for this, Meredith. You're drunk and even if I wanted to, I'm not about to have sex with you when you can barely stand on your own two feet."

"I can stand. See?" She asked, pushing back to show him as her body swayed slightly.

"I have an early meeting and it's late and I—"

"Please don't reject me."

"I'm not rejecting you."

"Yes, you are. You're turning your back on me just like my father did earlier. Why do all the men in my life not want me?"

"I don't know what happened earlier to make you so upset, but you're wrong in thinking that I don't want you. I do want you, Meredith. More than you know."

"Then show me. Show me that you want me. Make me feel good again, Derek. Please…"

"I—"

The kiss took both their breaths away as Meredith wound her arms tightly around Derek's neck and held him close while her hungry mouth sought his eagerly.

"No, no…stop." It took a lot of willpower, most of which Derek didn't have with the way Meredith was kissing him so passionately, but he had to stop things before it went any further.

"Why?"

"We…we don't have protection." Derek winced at how stupid he must've sounded. Here she was begging him for sex and all he could think about was protection?

"What?"

"We ran out, remember?"

"We…. I…." Meredith struggled to get her mind around what he was telling her. "I'm asking for sex and you worried about protection?"

"I'm only following by your rule." He stated pointedly.

"Forget the rules." She said, waving her hand dismissively. "I only made them up because…. We don't need them. I'm on the pill."

Derek tried to mask the confused anger he felt. "How long?"

"Does it really matter?"

"Yes! Tell me how long you've been on the pill."

"Derek. I'm begging here. Why are we wasting time talking about something that we don't have to worry about anymore? I've had a really bad day and I need you. I need you to make me feel whole again. Please…"

Meredith's body still tingled from the memory of the amazing sex they shared that night. The memory of how it felt to have ihim/i push against her heated center still made her blush. The flesh on flesh contact of their bodies moving together in perfect unison was a feeling unlike no other, and one she had never shared with anyone but Derek. She didn't know how many times she came that night, but one thing she knew for certain was that she would never let anything get between them. That resolve; however, was broken three weeks later when Derek stormed into her apartment demanding to know of her relationship with Finn, and insulting her further by demanding she break it off.

"It's time." Securely fastening the sash of her coat, she grabbed her bag, turned off all the lights and walked out of her apartment.

So this wasn't exactly the "midnight" update, which was something I had actually planned to write as I sat down a few days ago. That said, this update is very, very important in terms of giving some insight into the underlying feelings and trepidations Meredith has and how she's taking small steps toward working to address it instead of running away, which in the past, didn't exactly work for her.

A few chapters ago, a very perceptive reader left a review asking about the "condom" situation, noting how in the flashback series updates, Meredith and Derek used it, but in the present time updates, they didn't. That was a great question (thank you) and one that I had been thinking about for a while. I wanted to address the subject then, but had never found the right time in the story in which to explain it...until now. The flashback in this update is of a scene that took place three weeks before the heated argument over Finn, resulting in them ending their arrangement. The biggest and perhaps most poignant revelation in that flashback is the fact that Derek is the only man Meredith had ever not used protection with.

Before I end my rambling (lol), I want to say that this chapter really sets the stage for what's to come in the next one. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. I'm truly humbled by the attention this fic is getting.