Breakeven
Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters do not belong to me, they belong to ITV
A/N - ENJOY!
Tuesday morning and Aaron woke up to his daughter jumping on him and yelling "get up, get up" he groaned and tried to block out her voice. This is how she usually woke them up, him and Jackson and for a split second Aaron's hand reached out, looking to connect with Jackson. His hand touched the bed sheets, bed sheets that were still warm but they weren't warm from Jackson and opening his eyes it dawned on him that Jackson was in the hospital and the events of the week came flooding back to him.
"Daddy! Wake up!" Casey says again and he turns around grabbing hold of her and pulling her against his chest "I'm awake!" he tells her.
Casey giggles "I'm hungry Daddy!" she complains as she sits on his stomach.
Aaron looks at the clock on the bedside cabinet; it reads 08:00am. Casey starts nursery at nine and he had to go to the hospital.
"Come on then!" he says lifting her into his arms and carrying her down into the kitchen.
He stands in the kitchen and makes Casey her breakfast and makes himself a cup of Coffee. Twenty minutes later he's in her bedroom, getting her dressed "ready to go to nursery?" Aaron asks her and she nods excitedly
"Great!" Aaron says pressing a kiss to her forehead. Her little face turns serious and Aaron waits on her saying what's obviously on her mind
"Will Daddy be home when I get out of nursery?"
Aaron doesn't know what to say to that. Jackson didn't want her to see him in the hospital so Aaron couldn't tell her that he would take her to see him.
"No baby" he tells her "He'll be home soon. He's still getting better"
She frowns and says "I miss him"
"I miss him too" Aaron admits "but he'll be home soon, I promise" he presses a kiss to her forehead and lifts her into his arms "ready to go to nursery?" he asks and Casey nods
"Great" he says as he runs the two of them downstairs. He checks his pockets to make sure he has his keys and wallet. Looking at the clock it reads 8:40 which meant they still have twenty minutes before they needed to be at the nursery.
"Chuck" Aaron calls on the dog, he'll take him for a quick walk before he goes to the hospital then drop him off at the garage.
"I wanna walk" she tells him as he's about to carry her out of the door.
"Alright" he says and puts her on the ground "let's go to the garage first yeah? I need to talk to Ryan"
"OK Daddy" she says slipping her hand into his and walking with him to the garage.
Ryan is just opening up the place as Aaron walks towards it "Alright?" Aaron calls out
"Aaron!" Ryan says walking towards him "I'm alright, how's Jackson?"
"He's alright. You coming to visit?"
"Yeah, yeah" Ryan says "but you know…my boss is a right slave driver"
Aaron laughs at that and grins "Thanks for looking after this place" he tells him "I appreciate it"
"Not a problem" Ryan assures him "We're not busy later, I'll pop in then if it's Ok?"
"Yeah great. He'll probably get bored of looking at my mug all day"
Ryan laughs "he's put up with you for what 12 years? I'm sure he's already pretty bored"
"Haha" Aaron says before asking him how the garage has been going. Whether or not they had been busy and if he was coping. They were so wrapped up in conversation that Aaron wasn't noticing Casey pulling on his arm. It wasn't until she started saying "Daddy, Daddy DADDY!" that he gave her his full attention
"What is it?" he asks and she pouts "We're going to be late for nursery"
Aaron checks his watch and its almost nine "Crap" he says "so we are" he picks her up "You're not walking cause I'm going to have to run or we'll be late" he tells her "I'll be back in ten minutes" he tells Ryan before running towards the nursery "Chuck come" calling on the dog as he ran. Chuck chased after him.
Aaron dropped Casey off at nursery and tried to avoid all the questions about how Jackson was, he just thanked them for their concern and walked away from them as quickly as he possibly could.
After walking Chuck and speaking to Paddy and his Mother Aaron finally headed back to the garage "are you keeping Chuck?"
"Yeah" Ryan says "think you're going to have to give him to me, he's going to get used to me, sooner or later"
"You wish" Aaron tells him
"I do actually, great dog that"
Aaron smiles and says "Yeah. He is" he takes a deep breath "well…" he backs off towards his car "I'm off to the hospital now, see you when I get back. Cheers for watching Chuck"
Aaron didn't call in for Hazel. He knew that was going to get him some earache at a later stage in the day but he couldn't care less. He wanted to spend some alone time with Jackson. He should have been a bit more awake today at least and they could talk. Aaron could get used to hearing his voice and seeing his eyes, boy how he'd missed his voice.
"Hey you" Aaron says as he walks into the hospital room, to get Jackson's attention. Jackson gives him it and smiles "You look much better today"
"Cheers" Aaron replies with a roll of his eyes "saying I looked bad yesterday?" he asks, pressing a quick kiss to Jackson's lips.
"Bit scruffy" Jackson admits "kinda like you'd been wearing the same clothes for days"
"Like I'd ever do a thing like that" Aaron says with a smile. Their eyes flick to the TV screen for a second, then back to each other "where's Mum? Thought she would have turned up with you"
Aaron smirks and says "I kinda just left without telling her I was going"
Jackson laughs at that "she's going to kill you" he tells him and Aaron nods, fully aware of that he says "She's a pussycat really"
"Love to hear you tell her that"
"I will" Aaron says in a determined voice but after a minute adds "maybe I won't" Jackson smiles at that "anyway" Aaron says changing the subject "I wanted to spend some time alone with you, kinda missed you"
For the first time since he had woken up Jackson looks at Aaron, really looks at him and behind those eyes that try to hide how he's feeling he can see. He can see because Aaron has never been able to hide anything from him, ever. He can see fear, pain, hurt, worry he can see everything.
"Aaron…" he trails off as he watches Aaron bite his lip. Trying to hold back tears, he wishes he could reach out and hold him but his muscles weren't working properly yet and reaching out to hold him would be a major effort
"I'm right here"
Aaron nods quickly "I know. I know" he says, trying to keep his emotions in check "I thought I was going to lose you"
"I'm hard to get rid of"
"Thank god!" Aaron exclaims, letting out a small laugh "I couldn't leave you, after I found out. Not until I knew you were awake and that you were fine"
"I know"
Aaron kisses him, passionately and he has no intention of stopping until the both of them need air, desperately but the room door swings open and he hears a male voice say "Sorry. Didn't mean to interrupt"
Aaron pulls away quickly and turns to face the newcomer "Not a problem" he smiles at the guy "Aaron" he says moving to shake the nurses' hand, he hadn't met him before "Nurse McColl" the nurse tells him "Just here to check on the patient"
Aaron steps back and says "On you go. I'll wait here"
It took the nurse five minutes to do what he had to do then he left the room. "You and him were friendly" he comments innocently and Jackson rolls his eyes "not going to be jealous of the male nurses' again are you?"
Aaron shakes his head and drops into the plastic chair by the bed "course not" he tells him "look at me"
Jackson scoffs and says "you're getting old"
"You're three years older" Aaron retorts, happy that they can once again share they're childish banter.
"I hate hospitals" Jackson says although Aaron knows this "I've spent way too long in them"
"You won't spend anywhere near that amount of time in here" Aaron assures him, grabbing his hand "Have they said anything?"
"Not much, said they wanted to run a few more tests, that's about it"
The two of them spent the next few hours talking about nothing in particular; it was just after midday when Hazel barged into the room.
"nice of you to offer me a lift" he says, slapping Aaron around the back of the head "Hey!" he complains rubbing his head but she just rolls her eyes "had to make my own way here I did, you're so nice to your Mother in law"
"Maybe I didn't want to put up with my Mother in law, ever think of that?" Aaron asks.
Hazel ignores him and says her "hellos" to Jackson before turning serious for a minute "I've got something to tell you both" she says causing both of them to look at her with worried expressions.
"Is Casey alright?" Jackson asks
"Oh yeah!" Hazel says waving that off "she's great…it's just…"
Aaron and Jackson share a look; it wasn't like Hazel to beat around the bush "just what Hazel?" Aaron pushes for more information.
"I called your Dad and told him that you were awake, he wants to come see you"
Aaron snaps "YOU WHAT?" he demands to know, getting to his feet in one swift movement "I told you, he wasn't to come anywhere near here, call him back and tell him not to come anywhere near here or I will deck him"
Hazel scowls at him "and I respected your wishes Aaron, while you were the one making the decisions but now Jackson is awake, it's up to him who he wants to say"
Aaron turns to Jackson and says "he feels the same as me"
Hazel, ignoring Aaron says "Do you?" to Jackson.
Jackson looks at Aaron and they have a conversation, a silent one just with their eyes and Jackson is saying "Yeah. I don't want him here"
"Don't just say that for him" Hazel says, nodding at Aaron "He's not wanted to know since before we got married!" Aaron snaps "he thinks just because Jackson is in hospital that he can suddenly become bezzie mates? He can think again"
"Aaron is right Mum; he's not wanted to know. Tell him I don't want to see him" Jackson says, although what he says and what he means are too completely different things but Aaron doesn't want him around and Aaron is his world, he wouldn't have him around.
"Tell him if he dares come near that I will end him" Aaron promises.
"Alright" Hazel says, resigning herself to defeat "I'll call him"
"You do that" Aaron says as he watches her leave the room "can you believe her?" Aaron shakes his head and asks Jackson.
"She's just trying to do what's best"
"Best for who?"
"For me"
Aaron scoffs "well she shouldn't bother in future"
Jackson sighs. He doesn't want to have an argument or for there to be any bad tension between the two of them and asks "can we just forget and talk about something else please?"
"Course"
It's just after two pm and Aaron has to collect Casey had 2:45 "I've got to go pick up Casey" he says, getting to his feet
"Alright" Jackson smiles "I'll see you tomorrow?"
Aaron's face shows his obvious confusion "uh…no. You'll see me later on. She was asking about you earlier, thought I'd bring her to see you"
"I already said…"
"I know what you said" Aaron cuts him off "but she's missing you, seeing her isn't going to hurt is it?"
"She's just going to ask questions Aaron and I don't want her worrying"
Aaron sighs "she's already asking questions"
"I said NO! Aaron" he snaps "just listen to me, please?"
"Fine" Aaron says in a cold tone "I won't bring her, but you can't tell me you're not missing her"
"I'm missing her like you wouldn't believe and when I get out of here I'll probably not let her go for a week but until then, I don't want her seeing me like this, alright?"
"Alright" Aaron nods "I'll be back later once I've given her dinner" he kisses him and heads towards the door "you coming?" he asks Hazel but she shakes her head "I'll be home later"
"Ok" Aaron is just about to pull open the door when Ryan walks in "Ryan" Jackson's face lights up at the new face, as does Aaron. He didn't want to leave Jackson with just Hazel for company that would drive him mad.
"Good" Aaron says "You can keep him company for a bit"
"Will do" Ryan assures him, patting him on the back "see you later mate"
"Yeah. See ya" Aaron replies before disappearing out of the room.
It was just after 8pm when Aaron got back to the hospital. He had tried to get Casey back into her normal routine which means bed by 7pm on weeknights and surprisingly she hadn't complained about it.
When Aaron walked into the room he sensed at atmosphere. It was just Hazel and Jackson but he sensed they had been arguing or something was wrong.
"What's up?" Aaron asks, coming to stand at the opposite side of Jackson's bed than Hazel. Hazel looks at her son then Aaron "ask him" she says in a tone that is so unlike Hazel.
"Jackson?"
Jackson glares at him Mother before focusing his attention on Aaron "they Doctor came round, telling me some stuff"
"Right, what did they say?"
Hazel gets to her feet and says "Think I better get home" she grabs her coat "leave you two alone to talk about this"
Hazel leaving confused Aaron to no end, it wasn't like her to leave. Just what had her and Jackson said to each other?
"What was that about?"
"You know what she's like" Jackson tells him and Aaron doesn't believe it but he doesn't call him on it, instead he lets it rest.
"So what did they Doctor say?"
"That he thinks I'll get full use of my arms back"
"That's good" Aaron says but at Jackson look he starts to worry "but not my legs, he's not sure, they need to run more tests but he's just given me worst case"
"We'll deal with it" Aaron assures him, grabbing his hand "whatever it is. We'll get through it, together"
Jackson looks him dead in the eye and says "No. We won't"
Aaron is beyond confused at that statement "what does that mean?"
"It means your thirty Aaron"
Aaron pulls a face "what the hell does my age have to do with anything"
"You already have one kid to look after, I'm not giving you a second"
Aaron's eyes widen as he finally gets what Jackson is saying. He's trying to finish with him "is that what was wrong with your Mum? Were you saying this rubbish to her?"
"She said I was being stupid and that you weren't about to give up on me"
"She was right"
"Aaron. If I'm paralysed I'm no use to you. I'm not going to allow you to look after a baby and me"
"You're not going to be able to stop me" Aaron informs him "I'm not eighteen anymore. You can't push me away. We're married, we have a kid and I know exactly how I feel now. I'm not going anywhere. No matter what you say Jackson"
"Find someone else" Jackson continues "You're still young enough to do that"
"I don't want anyone else!" Aaron snaps, he's trying to keep his temper in check and not lose it but Jackson is really getting to him "what about Casey huh? What about her?"
"She's young. She'll forget all about me" Jackson says and Aaron's eyes widen further "you didn't just say that to me!" Aaron starts pacing the room.
"You're her Dad! She loves you and if I'm never likely to forget you I doubt she is"
"I'm no use to either of you paralysed"
"You don't know you will be, the Doctor said maybe"
"No one is that lucky Aaron. I bet it once, I doubt I'll do it a second time"
"You don't know that"
"You'll be better off with someone else" Jackson says and Aaron can't believe he's hearing this "You're in shock. You're lashing out, that's fine. I can take it" Aaron assures him "but don't talk crap. I'm not going anywhere"
"I don't want you around for this or Casey"
"Tough" Aaron tells him straight "cause we're not going anywhere. When we got married, it kinda meant we're stuck together for life, good and bad"
"Not this bad"
"Any bad" Aaron tells him "cause if it was me in that bed, would you leave me if I told you to?"
Jackson looks away unable to meet his eyes because they both know the answer to that. Jackson wouldn't leave him.
"I'm going to go home" Aaron says "I don't want to but I think we're just going to get more heated. I don't want to argue with you but you can think about the crap you're talking" he takes a step closer to the bed and kisses him on the forehead "I love you"
"I love you too" Jackson says, his voice barely above a whisper.
Pressing a kiss to his lips Aaron says "remember that" before disappearing out of the hospital. Leaving Jackson to think things through.
A/N - LIKE IT? LOVE IT? HATE IT? GETTING BORED? LET ME KNOW!