So, after a couple of false starts, the thing wrote itself. For better or worse. Enjoy. Or...don't.

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"That which I have lost only pushes me on and on, with the knowledge that all behind is wisdom left to don. No greater fear exists than that of inability, a fact that allows me no end of constant humility. I have learnt, I have sought, I have failed, leaving all for naught. You which glows so radiantly, flickering o' so high above, I look at you and wonder, that sun I have always loved."

"Hey."

I raised my hand upwards, my feet automatically pushing me forward as I kept my gaze focused on the person straight ahead of me. She looked directly at me, brown eyes dark and serious as she stood there unflinchingly. When I was barely half a meter away from her, she held out a hand to force me to an immediate stop.

"Remember, you can still back away from this. Walking the other way is still an option."

"No," I affirmed, my voice stronger than I'd heard it in so long. "I'm tired of running away from my problems."

My feet slid back across the ground quicker than I could even command them, my fists rising as I fell into a fighting stance. No, I suppose I couldn't use chakra, but I still had my fighting experience to back me up, and this person didn't seem like someone who could oppose me. The woman regarded me with a quirked eyebrow, as if amused by my actions. I couldn't see what was so amusing.

"So, this is how we meet," she said softly, her voice deep and slightly husky. Her eyes looked me up and down. "I never even realized the time was ticking by."

"Who are you?" I demanded to know, my fists clenching more tightly.

She crossed her arms over her chest. "Is that a serious question?"

"Don't screw around with me! I'm not in the mood!"

"Of course not," she agreed slowly, looking at me cautiously, as if I were a ticking time bomb. Her eyes narrowed and then she faced me fully.

"I'm you."

Placing my hand in the center of her chest, palm flesh with her shirt, I saw her give me the smallest smirk as she slowly began to fade away into nothing but... I couldn't properly describe it, but it seemed like something of an essence, a filtering of light, or maybe, just the very energy of her soul. It sickened me how little of it there was, as opposed to how much there really should have been. I closed my eyes as a tickling sensation fell over me and felt my body seize, and I sank to my knees, a hand at my head as I cradled it.

What had I done? They normally called people like me 'abominations', or some form of a heretic. What's worse, was that I hadn't even realized I'd committed the act of wrongness, of indecency, of sinning, of miscreancy. But, that no longer mattered. Dwelling on things that wouldn't improve me, and push me forward, was how I got into the position in the first place. By running away, I allowed it to steep within my mind. I allowed my fears to take a foothold and grow a true existence, an existence that compelled me to acknowledge them without confrontation. By worrying about problems that didn't matter all that much in the end scheme, such as killing, – I was a ninja, and ninjas killed. It was what they were, what they did, a large part of why they existed – I allowed myself to weaken and destroy myself from the inside out. If I am weak, it is because I am the one who limited myself. If I am incapable, it is because I threw away the weapons that made me strong. If I am powerless, it is because I allowed myself into a situation that made me so.

I'm the one who created this fiasco for myself. What better way to celebrate this realization than to make amends, for once, finally?

I could only continued staring at her, completely shocked by her words. I think I'd know if someone that looked like her, with her dark skin, dark eyes, and fierce scowl, was in any way even remotely related to me somehow. Besides, two consciousnesses could not exist with one another in a single body, right? Not unless it was some kind of bloodline, and I hadn't been blessed, or cursed, with anything like that. No, I refused to believe that I was harboring some kind of other spirit within me, and after all of this time, never once noticed.

"That's impossible," I bluntly told her. "How could you be me? The only me here, is obviously me!"

She scoffed at me and turned her gaze away. "I definitely wish it weren't true at the moment. Gods, if this is how annoying I am to others, I apologize to you all from the bottom of my heart."

I glared at her, but she just rolled her eyes and turned back to me. "Look," she began. "You can doubt me all you like, but a mind isn't large enough to allow two entirely different people to reside in it. Maybe you, the forefront and overseeing factor of your consciousness, can't acknowledge my existence, but obviously, some part of you does. I wouldn't still be here, otherwise."

The biggest annoyance for me was that I couldn't refute her words. It was just like with the fear thing – perhaps I had chosen to ignore their existence, but some deeper part of me allowed them to dwell further and become something I eventually had no choice but to recognize for what they were. But, if that were the case, how long had I dismissed this part of myself?

"How long have you been here?" I asked warily.

An eyebrow raised slowly as she made eye contact with me. "I don't know. How old are you?"

I hesitated, and had to think about that for a bit. "I'm eight, I guess. Missed my birthday."

The woman grimaced somewhat and turned away. "Eight years? I've been here for eight years? I really never did feel the time go by at all."

She smiled wistfully. "I suddenly feel tired."

If I am to grow stronger, I must be willing to push myself forward on a path that will lead me that far. If I am to grow capable, I must build and mold myself into a person with the wherewithal to learn even more and utilize that in a manner that will service me best. And, if I am to grow powerful, I must be remember that it is not simply intelligence that yields result, but wisdom and the product of my actions.

Yugito once told me that I was exceedingly close to the edge, close to losing myself. She said I would one day fall, and that could only be my fault. My problem here, was placing my values of life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness, and all of that nonsense onto my new reincarnated self. I'd lived a life relatively free of the stress of fighting for my life, of fighting for my existence, to put a Gaara spin on everything. I'd gone to work, gone home, went out and played, and ran the course of another person. In that life, killing people would have hurt, made me suffer, made me realize that I'm a terrible person. In this life, it's a fact of life, and not something to dwell on or be ashamed over. That wasn't to say that I should go kill someone and party with some vodka and fireworks as I march upon the person's grave, but I definitely didn't have to act like it was as big a deal as I was making it. You fight to survive, and you survive so that you can live. That was all there was to it.

If I were to really take anything from what I'd learnt in my previous life, it's that a future always exists. It may not be the best one, nor the nicest one, but it is one. In a way, I finally understood what Mizuki and her mom had been trying to tell me in my imaginings of them – I needed to move on because if I stagnated, then I really might as well have been stepping on their graves unmercifully. If I was so upset over their deaths, I just had to make it so that they weren't for naught. That meant growing up, both mentally and physically. Cutting my losses and continuing forth.

So, Shikaku was a dick. I didn't have to be friends with him. So, Inoichi was an asshole. His daughter and wife more than made up for his presence. So, Ibiki was an fucking retard who interrogated little brats like they were S-Class criminals. He wasn't my boss, and I wished my sister all the fucking luck possible. So, Danzo was... Yeah, no, the guy was just a straight up dick. Would I forgive them? Sure, they were doing their goddamned jobs. Would I forget what they'd done to me?

Oh, hell-to-the-fucking-no.

But I didn't have to let that obsession weigh me down, hold me back, and fester into something else. I'd just let the grudge propel me to pay them back in the worst way possible. I was going to rat every bad thing Shikaku did to his wife, and then I would pop up with a camera to catch his expression at the moment of truth. I was going to brainwash Ino into being the fiercest kunoichi ever, and maybe hook her up with a couple of boys just so I could see Inoichi cry into his hands as he saw his baby girl slowly separating from him. I was going to pop into T&I so many times every day of the week that Ibiki would try to throw me out, only for me to pop up again a few hours later. It'd be the opportunity to drive him nuts. Or I could just sic Gai on the damn man.

As for Danzo, I was going to eat. Him. Alive.

Now, I wasn't quite sure how to do that yet, but, I had a plan. I just didn't know if it would work. Anko would kill me if it did, and she somehow found out. May she never find out.

"This...shouldn't be possible," I murmured crazily to myself. "All this time, and I never knew?"

"Purple hair shouldn't be possible," she snarked. "And yet, lookie here."

My hands immediately flew up to my head. "Lay off the hair!"

She shrugged. "The obvious answer to your question is that you forgot. I just don't know what that means for you. I'm pretty certain that your entire existence, mentally, anyway, was based off of your past one. For example, you look like an eight-year-old, sure, but you sure as hell don't talk like one. But, then again, you don't speak like you're the age you technically should be, either. You've got a solid eight years over me – you should be giving me advice, so something's not quite right here."

I scowled at her. "How do I even know you're really me, though?"

"See?" she said loudly, holding her hands out as if she were trying to implore me of something. "It's stuff like that. Why are you acting so childish? 'How do you know'? How could I even be here if I weren't somehow related to you in some way? And since I quite clearly remember what happened before all of this nonsense, then it has to be something on your end. Maybe you experienced something big that caused abrupt amnesia? Hit your head or something?"

I flinched back as if I'd been electrocuted by my own jutsu. Amnesia? Was there a selective amnesia? This didn't seem like amnesia, though, because I was only forgetting things that didn't seem to fit...in...this...

My breath escaped my lips slowly as I lifted my gaze up to look at her. "Hey, do you know who someone named 'Drake' is?"

The woman frowned at me, as expected. " 'Drake?"

"Yeah. 'Nathan Drake'."

"Hoh, shit," she murmured wonderingly. "That brings back memories. I haven't played that game in forever."

"Game?"

"Yeah," the woman softly replied. "From the Uncharted series. A video game series for the Playstation 3."

I felt slightly sick. "That's...not a name from the elemental nations. I've never heard a name like that anywhere."

The woman fell silent and only looked back at me, seeming a bit concerned at my revelation. I raised my hands to my head. How had I known that name but... I looked around me, up at the garden that I called –

"Secret Garden," I muttered, the woman's words starting to take root. "Why did I call it that?"

She didn't say anything for a while and turned her own gaze over to the distance. " 'Secret Garden', huh... That title may be more apt than you might think."

"What's it mean?"

"It's an old book I read when I was young," she answered, her voice ripe with nostalgia. She looked at me fully. "When we were young, I should say. It could be an allusion to your current situation, or a theme you, sorry, we are unconsciously progressing along."

I felt empty all of a sudden. "Have I really been forgetting everything? I can't believe I've... This is retarded."

The woman, er, rather, I, I mean, my past self, shrugged her shoulders. "It happens. Only thing you can do is find the source of the issue. Anything come to mind?"

I hesitated for the slightest of a second. When had I started this entire mess? I shook my head as I let out one of the deepest sighs I'd ever managed. Of course, it could only be that insanity.

"I might...have an idea of where, when, everything might've spiraled out of control."

The Secret Garden. I had the craziest feeling that my mind wouldn't be releasing me until I solved that mystery. As I had no understanding of time here, and my past self most certainly hadn't, I had no idea of how long I had left before Hitomi called it quits on me. I was also increasingly wary of her attempting to bring me back to reality by force, as I had no idea of what that would do to me until I was fully centered. The question, more so than anything else, though, was how the hell I was going to get back up there without chakra.

I looked down at my hands, at the smallness of them as my fingers rolled into my palm to make two fists. I really was a tiny little thing. How did other people see me? How did Anko, my sister, see me? The terrible expression she'd made when she'd left me behind at the Hyuuga house still haunted my mind, and I hated knowing I'd caused that hurt and guilt within her. I was an adult living within a child, and a perceived child attempting to act the role of an adult. It was confusing when I thought about it, but Anko did know any of my background, of my history. All she saw was an eight-year-old girl that she couldn't save, because the child didn't want to be. If I looked at it from her end of things, that was a pretty miserable situation to be in. She didn't understand. She couldn't.

I had to get better.

My gaze turned back in the direction of that garden. That was my first destination, and I had a feeling it might hold the answers I sought.

Guess I had some walking to do.

My past self placed her fist against her mouth, her gaze turned away as she thought hard about the story I'd just given. She didn't say a word while I fidgeted and shifted around. I rolled my right shoulder back before locking my full attention on her the second she took in a small breath. Her chestnut-brown eyes slowly shifted back to look at me and her hand fell back down to her side. She then placed her hands on her hips.

"A mental trauma, from what I can gather," she said, stating the obvious. "Before all of that mess happened, I'd say that we were more or less on the same wavelength. You had knowledge from your previous life and it was seamlessly being absorbed into your mind."

She glanced down at her right hand, a wry smile on her face. "That might explain some things on my end. I was wondering why I might've felt so exhausted all of a sudden."

"So, what changed then?" I asked, feeling confused.

Her smile slipped away. "I'm not a psychiatrist or psychologist, or any kind of behavior analyst in any manner of speaking, so take my words with a grain of salt, because quite frankly, I don't know for sure. I have no idea. A theory though, is that you're a crossroads. Remember how you said that this Hitomi, or whatever, essentially told you that you acted like a normal child when you were knocked out or whatever you were? That might very well be the real you of this universe. You're anchored both to me and the body, and have no real existence of your own. So, my theory, is that you have to choose. It doesn't make any sense that you would suddenly forget things that should have been a part of your very core just because of all of that stress. I mean, it could happen, but people tend t forget things they don't want to remember.

"And, that wouldn't make sense for you," she continued. "You had knowledge of your world, foreknowledge you could use to make things better. That knowledge might not actually activate until you meet the people in question, which sort of became obvious with the Hinata thing, but you still have it, regardless. It's just passive. So, on that vein, again, let's say you're at some kind of crossroads. Your choices, I'd wager, are this universe versus our past one."

I felt cold suddenly. I wrapped my arms around myself, seeking some kind of warmth or comfort. "What do you mean exactly?"

"Well," my past self began to explain, "you're basically, to me, in a type of limbo. One step this way, and you're fully in one universe, while one step that way, means you're in the other one. I guess."

"What am I choosing between? You mean I can go back to our old world?" I demanded to know.

She frowned. "Well, no. Even if you could, we're dead. There's nothing to return to in the first place."

I saw her rub the back of her neck before she sighed. "Okay, it's like this: you either take the past or the future. By that, I mean, you can choose to forego the past and develop your own future. Or, you can ignore that future and work within the past."

"Still not following..." I said softly, and she glared at me.

"I told you I'm not some stupid psych. I don't know how it technically goes, okay?" she burst out with, making me take a step back from surprise. "As I see it, you're stuck in-between, right? On one hand, you can accept me entirely. If you accept me, that means you receive everything – all that wisdom nonsense and knowledge and everything related to your past life. Or, you can ignore my existence as you have been over the past, what, couple of years? You do that, and I'm betting that everything related to the other world, your other life, me, will fade away into nothingness. You won't have any part of me in you anymore. You'll be Hotaru. Just Hotaru."

Oh God, I would never, ever, ever whine about how annoying it is to use chakra in various situations ever again. I wasn't going to whine about chakra exhaustion either, because climbing things without chakra, and jumping without chakra, and doing anything without chakra sucked so hard. I don't know how many times I paused to sit down and rest. I'd run the entire way, wishing I could go faster but having to rely solely on my physical capabilities. Running, unfortunately, hadn't been the biggest issue. I had been climbing each jagged point and then jumping to another, falling, and doing it all over again. I felt more like the SEGA Genesis version of Prince of Persia, where the guy always fell into a bed of scary white spikes. I still wasn't quite sure if I could die in my mind or not, but the thought sure kept me from falling from too high a height.

The moment my hand touched the precipice, in a fit of weakness, I thought about just giving up because I was so tired of climbing shit. My feet slid against the side as I tried to pull myself up.

Just little more.

My feet slid again, and I fell back to where my only support was my fingers.

I was so tired, but I wanted to get the hell out of this place. My mind was miserable, and depressing, and slightly sickening. It was terrible for a person to realize that about themselves, but, whatever. The truth definitely did hurt at times. Exceedingly so.

In a burst of a second wind, I scrambled up over the edge, rolling myself away from it over and over so if I somehow fell asleep – was that possible? – I wouldn't fall down and have to do it all over again. I'd fallen a total of forty-five times. If you counted slipping down the sides of rocks as falling, too, that leapt it up to 162. It's only amusing when it's not happening to you, although, I'm sure I was a right laugh to watch as my butt slammed down on the pavement time and time again.

Anyone who laughs at that can go fuck themselves.

I looked over at the entrance to the garden that had sent me rocketing kilometers away. I didn't even have the energy to make a sex joke, although I could think of a few.

I breathed out a large sigh as I finally sat up after having caught my breath. I looked at the entrance warily. Pushing myself up from the ground with a groan of protest, I cracked my neck, and then walked up to the edge of the garden. I reached my hand out to touch, but felt the same unrelenting barrier.

"Open," I commanded, poking at the barrier.

Did I have to speak in Parseltongue? Maybe use a little abracadabra?

I let my head fall along with my hand. I had no idea of how to get in. Maybe if I...

"Remember..."

My head popped up as I felt a jolt run through my body. Wait, but nothing could be that simple, right? But, if the garden was in my mind, then whose mind was it I was in? Hotaru's, or...?

"Open," I tried once more, "for my name is –"

She looked at me expectantly, but I was completely taken aback. I mean, it made sense, despite her not really knowing what the hell was going on with me. The thought that I could start a new life as just Hotaru was very tempting though.

"There are pros and cons to each one, I'm sure," my past self told me. "For example, say you walk away, right here and now. You forget me and everything, and it allows you to essentially start anew. You have nothing weighing you down, holding you back, making you wonder. You will be Hotaru in every single way. Nothing else, no one else. Just you. You'll be able to forge your own destiny. The cons to that, though, are that you will obviously forget everything that has helped make who you are right now. You might regress fully until your mental age matches your physical one, and considering the type of life you've led thus far, that might get you into a lot of trouble. A normal six-, seven-year-old wouldn't have managed to survive in a foreign country without anyone to really guide him or her. You managed the first one, and Konoha might expect that you can do the same again, somehow."

I nodded, a frown on my face. "Then, there's also the question of my sister. She's come to expect me to be a little know-it-all with a knack for getting into more trouble than she can predict, or save me from. If I regress back into a real child, she'll wonder what the hell happened."

She agreed with me. "True enough. But, you are still eight. Your cognitive skills are only going to get better, and within a couple of years, you'll probably be back in business again. Your wit may need to recover a bit, but you'll be better off overall, I'll bet."

"All right," I finally said. "Then, what about the other option?"

She shrugged. "You and I merge. You gain everything that I am, all the bad, along with any good that might be somewhere around in me. You can use that knowledge to build yourself better, and to get further faster. You have the added benefit of all of that foreknowledge and whatever, should you choose to use it."

"And...?"

"And," she said with a sigh, "the bad part of it all, is that you will be anchored to the past. You won't just be Hotaru, you'll be two existences in one. You'll have values that don't necessarily coincide with your new life. You'll have wants and goals that don't make sense, and you'll say things that mean absolutely nothing to those around you. And, the worst thing is, that if something happens to you again, I'm pretty sure the Yamanaka will be able to see your memories this time. You weren't fully anchored before, so it was like my part in it all didn't exist, but if we merge, everything's on the table from that point on. And, there will be turning back. Again, this is all a basic theory. It's all in how you think it will help you in the future."

My shoulders tightened. "So, it's sink-or-swim, no matter what."

My past self shrugged slightly. "It is."

I turned away from her. I desperately desired to start a new life, see what came of it this time, but, when the thought of Anko crossed my mind, I realized I couldn't be that selfish. I was normally very selfish, but I couldn't be when I knew that my fucking and mucking up of the future could somehow come back and hurt her somehow. Danzo had taken an interest in me, too, and if he couldn't get to me, there was nothing saying he wouldn't attempt to get at Orochimaru's failed experiment. Then, she was also in ANBU, so he had an even more direct access to her, especially if he could subvert the Hokage's authority and usurp it.

Then there were Ino and Hinata, and I couldn't forget about the main character, Naruto. What about Shiyou and Shina? As far as I was aware, they hadn't even existed in the Naruto world, and could just be a wave developed from my existence. I wanted to make sure I protected them, too.

And really, that was what it all came down to, wasn't it? That was the crux of the issue, wasn't it? I wanted to protect people. I wanted to make them happy, make them content, help them survive. Mitarashi Hotaru, the eight-year-old child with no knowledge of anything outside of what she's learnt over the years, probably couldn't do that. Not in time. But Mitarashi Hotaru, the twenty...no, now thirty-five-year-old – goddamn, that really was old – woman with knowledge of an entire life left behind in the wake of a different universe entirely, probably could. How could I turn that away? I'd have a chance to live for myself some other lifetime.

"All right," I murmured, my decision made.

I raised my hand upwards, my feet automatically pushing me forward as I kept my gaze focused on the person straight ahead of me. She looked directly at me, brown eyes dark and serious as she stood there unflinchingly. When I was barely half a meter away from her, she held out a hand to force me to an immediate stop.

"Remember, you can still back away from this. Walking the other way is still an option."

"No," I affirmed, my voice stronger than I'd heard it in so long. "I'm tired of running away from my problems."

I walked into the garden, my eyes roving over all the deadness and bleakness I saw around me. I felt myself growing more and more depressed as I stepped on browned leaves, crushing them as I moved forward. A sadness began to fill my heart and it was just as I was coming to realize that what I was seeing was a portrayal of who I was, my eyes caught the glint of something in the deepest part of the garden. Frowning, I walked past one dead tree after another until my eyes came across the first splashes of bright color that I'd seen in this entire hell hole.

Rosemary.

The life I'd lived, it had been full of highs and lows, like any, but it was all of those good and bad times that helped develop me into who I was right now. Remembrance.

Sage.

I can't say that I've really gained much wisdom overall, but I do understand what I need to do, as opposed to what can wait for a later time. I need to look forward, and stop looking back. Doing the latter hasn't gained me anything so far, so I need to take a different path instead. Wisdom.

Violet.

Anko's face popped into my mind again, her smile sincere as she looked at me, her hand stroking my head as she brought me in close. From the very moment we'd reached an understanding with one another, she'd always been there for me. Always. I'd never had to fear her leaving me for whatever ridiculous reason. She was my rock, my support. Faithfulness.

Forget-me-not.

I rose up from in front of the computer, slipping out onto the porch as I hung my head. I looked up above me at the sun up there in that deep blue sky, and my first thought was that it really was gorgeous that day, more so than I'd ever seen before. Maybe I simply was feeling poetic, or maybe it really was a glorious day. I wouldn't have known, what with how my job search was turning out. I kept perusing job articles, because even though my current one was easy, I was getting antsy because I really wanted a real job, an actual career. That didn't seem like it would happen though unless I went back to school.

My mother yelled at me to do the dishes, and although I groaned a reply that I would, I was still very content with the fact that she and I didn't live together anymore. It worked in a pinch, but she and I were just too hardheaded to live together for very long anymore.

I just finished with the chore, my concentration golden as the suds on the dish sponge washed away with the hot water until I heard the annoying bleeping of an emergency signal as the TV began announcing some important thing or other. Curious, I moseyed back to my mom's room, and looked at the tiny TV as the news bulletin announced a weather warning and that people should prepare for evacuation. My mom was looking at the television seriously, but I just snorted, because even the prospect was laughable, but that was only because nothing bad ever really happened to me. She told me that we should go, but I just shrugged my shoulders and replied with my usual, "whatever".

She said "okay", employing that same trust she'd had in me since we'd patched things up when I was a teenager.

It wasn't until hours later, after my mom had gone to the store, when the alarm clock went blank and I picked it up to see what the hell was wrong with it. I turned it over in my hands and couldn't find anything of significance. I frowned, but started when I heard something crash against the building from the outside. I froze before dropping the clock and rushing out the front door into the open air. Blades of green whipped back and forth with a gust of a significant strength, and I stared at it until the sight of the sky caught my full attention.

It was green. A yellowish green. It was a green, but... No, you can't be serious, because the last time this had happened was years ago, but I'm pretty sure Mom would have packed up the car and... I mean, I knew this state was a fucking sucker for them, but I never once thought...

Where was Mom? She was still out there, but we needed to get somewhere, fast! As fast as...

I heard the sound of a horn honk, and shifted my attention to see the person in question yelling at me to get into the damn car because we needed to go. I hesitated just barely – what about the apartment?

Fuck it, who cared about the damn thing?

She backed up and split out of the apartment complex faster than I'd ever witnessed before. We tried getting onto the highway, but it was packed, all fucking six lanes of it. No one was getting anywhere that way. The access roads were just as blocked, and even though I knew her knees hurt her, I begged her to get out of the goddamn car so we could try to get to beneath the nearest bridge as soon as possible. There weren't any tunnels to rely on, nothing but flat land as far as the eye could see.

It was only as we were rushing there as fast as she could go that I turned back and saw a sight that made me want to cry out with fear. Just from the sheer size of it, I couldn't believe that this was really happening, and I know I never believed her when she told me, but I wish that I'd just, for once, thought of someone else before myself.

The sound of roaring trains chilled me to my bone and I felt my body start to shiver and shake. Then, there was the roar of more trains than I could count, again and again, and the wind was picking up so fiercely that everyone in the area was having trouble staying on the ground. My mother lost her balance, and she reached out for me and I grasped hold as tightly as I could until the cars from way far off began to lift off of the ground. Someone slammed into the two of us, and I lost my grip on my mother's hand. I flew back across the asphalt, my head slamming into a car bumper, and when I looked up again, I couldn't help the tears that sparked in my eyes when I heard the sound of her scream.

I was on my feet in seconds, and though I knew that there was no way she could've come out of that okay and I was absolutely terrified, I had to make sure that... Just in case, because what if she...

I threw my body onto the ground, pushing myself underneath the car that had crashed down and the sight that greeted me made me want to end it all, but then I heard the sound of roaring trains again, a sound that made my eardrums vibrate and hurt so badly. I scrambled away from the car, away from her to look in the distance at a scene that was ever so much closer and...

I fell to my knees, but I wasn't sure what I was more frightened of: the fear for someone I no longer had, or that had she and I been anywhere else, just a bit earlier, just a bit later, then this wouldn't have –

Never forget.

Tears slipped down my cheeks as I fell to my knees, everything coming back to me again. Some things just weren't meant to be remembered, but I wouldn't let myself forget what I'd experienced. It was thanks to my selfishness, my disregard to vital information, my belief that I was untouchable, that it had all happened in the first place. I couldn't make that mistake. Not again.

I wasn't just Hotaru anymore. I wasn't just the little ninja girl who'd been in the wrong place at the wrong time. I wasn't just someone who happened to be experiencing a new world for the benefit of living it.

I was...

I was...

My name is...

I could barely see my hands through my tears as I saw a glow surround them. I looked over my entire arm and then down at my body. The glow traced my entire self, a warmth growing deep within me as I felt a relief and as if something had finally clicked together within my mind.

Never forget.

I wouldn't. I couldn't.

I stared down at my hands again, my eyes unfocused and disbelieving. Then, I said the only word I could think of:

"Release."

I saw green grass down beneath me, and the tears sparked back within my eyes before I could even stop them. My hands trembled, and I was sniffing and hiccupping, and I felt like shit overall, but deep inside, more so than I'd ever felt for, I can't even remember how long, I felt...whole.

Soft hands touched my shoulders as I was brought into someone's loving embrace.

"Hotaru?" a voice asked me in barely more than a whisper.

I closed my eyes. Yes. That was who I was now. Who I was then...was not who I was now, but would serve as a lesson to whom I should be. And I would change, I would become stronger, without overexerting myself and hurting those closest to me, if I could help it. I would keep them safe. I would help them survive, and furthermore, I would help them live, because that's what I planned to do.

I was going to live. I had to. For the sake of the old, and new.

Wrapping my arms around the person, I rested my head against them.

"I'm back."

Goddamned mental arc is over. For now. Bahahah.

Anyway. What are your biggest regrets?