Meet The Godparents
a/n – And just when you thought it was safe, JK Rowling and her corporate partners still own the Harry Potter universe and all of the recognizable bits of it, as well. While this isn't surprising, since everyone knows this bit of administrivia, what might be surprising is what happens when Harry, Hermione, and Teddy venture north to the wilds of Upper Flagley to visit Aunt Muriel.
A/n2 - not certain what happened, but this is attempt 2 to attach chapter 37.
Chapter 37 – Tea Time
Harry, Hermione and Teddy arrived at the public apparition point in Upper Flagley just before four. Looking around, they could see how the hedges and shrubbery effectively blocked the view of this spot from the surrounding areas in the park. Nodding to Hermione, Harry smiled.
"Do you want me to carry him now?" Nodding at Teddy, Harry reached out and took him from Hermione with more confidence and ease than he had last week.
Hermione adjusted her skirt and vainly tried to do something with Harry's hair.
"Relax; we're just another young couple out for a lovely Sunday afternoon stroll with their baby."
"That's easy for you to say. You have loads of experience with being 'normal'. For me, normal is something I've waved at from the street as it went by on the trolley."
Stopping and drawing herself up, Hermione put her hand on Harry's arm and stared at him haughtily.
"Do I look like the kind of witch who hangs around with 'normal'?" Trying not to laugh, she watched Harry shake his head.
"Since we've been in each other's hip pocket for seven years, I suppose not." Smiling, he still looked just a bit apprehensive. "I've outflown a dragon, I've faced down hoards of Death Eaters, and I've snatched the last dessert away from Ron. I suppose I can handle walking across the public square in Upper Flagley to get to Muriel's cottage."
"Exactly. The worst thing that can happen is that someone will recognize us out with Teddy and people will start to figure out we're together now." Seeing the look on his face, Hermione smiled. "I'm not embarrassed to be seen with you. However, since everyone 'knows' that you were seeing Ginny, there's bound to be some questions now that you and I are together."
Rolling his eyes as they walked out from behind a hedgerow and onto the quaint cobblestone street, Harry sighed noisily.
"When is there going to be a time that anything we do won't turn into a circus?" Looking around, he could see a few people out and about in the warm May sunshine. "I'd really like for our lives to become something of interest to no one but us."
Laughing, Hermione her arm through his as they walked. Smiling at a small girl who was playing with a puppy, she nodded, as her eyes grew big when she recognized them.
"Harry, you might as well face facts. The things we've done so far, especially the things you've done, guarantees that even if we do nothing else for the rest of our lives together, people will be interested in every little thing the bloody 'Golden Trio" does from here on out." Kissing him lightly on the cheek, she nodded.
"And we're not the type to just sit around and do nothing. You couldn't retire to one of our homes in the country and cultivate roses any more than I could."
"That's Neville's dream. I'm more of the 'putter around the house, keep my gorgeous wife happy, and raise kids' kind of bloke."
"Honestly, Harry in six months you'll be standing in front of Kingsley's desk asking when the next auror training class begins because your know-it-all wife is driving you spare about house elf home visits and the like." Stepping down off the curb, they walked down a tree-shaded lane towards a lovely little cottage set back from the rest of the village.
"Point taken."
Hearing Hermione's snort of laughter in response, Harry amended, "Not about you driving me spare, but about me being able to sit around for six months before I'd be compelled to find something worthwhile to do." Shaking his head at the smile on Hermione's face, he looked around as they neared the gate. "Would it be worth it to try to convince Muriel that Teddy's Remus and Dora's son?"
Laughing as Harry opened the gate that lead into the neatly kept garden, Hermione pulled the blanket back from Teddy's head.
"Look at him and see if you can answer your own question."
Looking down, Harry stared into a pair of chocolate brown eyes with golden flecks. Teddy's hair was raven black and stood up as if it were permanently windblown.
"He's so our son when he looks like that. How long until he keeps his own looks most of the time?"
"Andromeda said that Dora stopped her chameleon phase at about eighteen months or so and settled into her normal look most of the day. Of course, any time she took a fancy, she was changing as she learned to consciously control her abilities."
Walking up the flagstone walk, Hermione looked curiously around at the garden. "Not quite what I expected of Ron's Aunt Muriel."
Nodding towards a lilac tree by the corner of the house, Hermione glanced nervously at the statue of a crouching, sinister looking man in a long cloak. From their vantage point on the walk, they could see that his face captured a look that was going from a snarl to surprise.
The right hand of the statue was extended, but you could just see the stub of what would have been a wand extending beyond the hand itself. Shaking her head, she shuddered as she realized the statue bore a familial resemblance to the features of Antonin Dolohov.
Harry came to a stop as he stared at the statue. "Why on earth would Aunt Muriel have a statue of one of Dolohov's relatives in her garden?" Shaking his head, Harry wrapped an arm around Hermione.
Not looking at Harry, but staring intently at the statue, Hermione was silent for several seconds. Finally she shook her head.
"I think a better question is why she has a statue of one of Grindelwald's minions in her garden." Looking up at Harry she nodded at the shocked look on his face.
"The pattern on the cloak from the statue, I remember seeing it in a couple of the pictures of the prisoners taken during a raid by Grindelwald's forces on the school. There was a short chapter about the raid in 'Hogwarts: A History'. The raid was a total failure, and they captured several of the survivors. They were all wearing cloaks like the one on that statue."
"You would have thought that, of all people, Gellert would have had better fashion sense for his flunkies than that."
Turning around, the two were face to face with Aunt Muriel. Dressed in a gardening apron over a blue muggle dress, there was a great contrast between Muriel today and the flamboyant old witch who had been at Bill and Fleur's wedding last summer.
"You two look as if you've never seen an old woman dressed to work in her garden before." Taking in the gobsmacked looks on their faces, Muriel laughed
"It's just that you're not quite the way I remember you from the wedding." Hermione temporized.
"What you're trying not to say is that I'm not quite the nightmare Arthur and Molly's children think me to be, eh?" Chuckling at the shocked look on their faces she smiled.
"Once I hit eighty, I decided I was going to live life on my terms and not worry about what all of the witches and wizards who happened to be related to me thought."
Seeing the puzzled look on Hermione's face, Muriel winked. "After a while, you'll understand what I'm talking about. The two of you don't have a great number of ties to wizarding families at the moment. In sixty or seventy years after you have eight or nine kids and a dozen grandchildren married into the rest of the families and you'll both be ready to hex the lot of them."
Ignoring the scandalized look on Hermione's face and the amused look on Harry's, Muriel glanced towards the cottage.
"You two are here for tea, might as well come around back so we can be comfortable." Nodding towards the corner of the cottage, Muriel led them around to the back.
There was a small table with an awning setting over it behind the modest cottage. The garden was a riot of colours. Various flowering plants, both muggle and magical, were scattered around the garden, along with over a dozen statues scattered among the shrubs and under the trees.
"Interesting landscaping," Harry observed as they walked through the back. "My Aunt Petunia would turn green with envy if she could see this yard." Looking around he noticed plants that they had worked with in herbology along with what seemed to be exotic, tropical plants growing in a Yorkshire backyard.
"You'll have to bring her up to see it sometime. I've worked on it for quite a while now. Much cheaper than therapy, I suppose." Smiling, Muriel waved her wand and a table appeared, set for tea for three.
"I'm glad you two could come and bring that precious little wizard back to visit."
"We were very pleased you invited us." Nodding at the tea service, Hermione put out her hand. "May I?"
"Of course, my dear." Muriel chuckled. Turning to Harry, she asked innocently, "Well, Barry. Did you get all of you questions answered at Bill's wedding?"
Smiling at the shocked look on his face, Muriel cackled a bit as Hermione almost fumbled the serving tray of biscuits.
"It gave us a place to start and some things to think about." Shaking his head, Harry smiled ruefully. Looking up at her as Muriel tapped Teddy on the nose a couple of times, smiling as he blinked at her, Harry noticed the look of mischief in her eyes.
"How did I give myself away?"
"Little things. Polyjuice is perfect, and that's the problem with it because it doesn't change the real you. Young Xenophilius' daughter twigged to you right away. Not certain how she did it, but she wasn't fooled for a second and called you by your name." Shaking her head, she cackled.
"I still think the old fool looked like a bloody omelet. Death Eaters crashing the reception, so much for sun colours being good luck for a wedding."
Smiling at the thought of their rather otherworldly friend and her father, Hermione took a sip of her tea.
"Luna is rather special, and she certainly sees things that others can't." Frowning a bit she nodded to Harry, "Or won't, in my case."
Pointing a long bony finger at Harry, Muriel continued. "You didn't change you when you became 'Cousin Barry'. For those who were in on your secret, you acted like yourself, and that will give you away every time. You were too chummy with Ron and the twins. The extended Weasley family isn't quite that close. Anyone paying attention could tell you were closer to them than any cousin who had managed to manage an invitation to the wedding would warrant."
Looking at each other, Harry and Hermione shrugged.
"I never thought about it that way. Never considered that I needed to act like a cousin, not just look like one." Smiling, Harry took a sip of the tea and a bite of a sandwich from the tray in the center of the table. Raising an eyebrow, he smiled appreciatively.
"These are quite good. A bit spicy, but very good."
Nodding, Muriel was busy watching Teddy's reactions to the tip of her wand as she levitated it around his head.
"I'm glad you like them, not many people are partial to puca, even if it is fresh."
"I'm a trifle confused. In the letters you sent to us, you mention Harry 'missing' the wedding…." Trailing off, Hermione shook her head and sighed. "We've been royally had." Glaring at Harry, she scowled.
"She knew all along whose child Teddy is."
Cackling, Muriel nodded to both of them. While her wand was floating in midair, it turned and pointed at the ground between Hermione and Muriel's chairs. An ornate portable cot appeared and Muriel lowered the baby into it. The wand then continued its eccentric orbits, keeping Teddy's attention focused on the ever-changing colour display that trailed from its tip.
"Of course. Young Remus came here to the cottage to tell some of the family when Teddy here was born. He mentioned that he was going to ask Harry here to be the godfather for the child." Grinning shamelessly, she stage-whispered to Harry, "Minerva's right about this Hermione of yours, she's far too clever. I was planning on leading you two around to the truth for at least another half hour."
Making a slightly disgusted sound and muttering something that sounded suspiciously like "I'm right here, for Merlin's sake", Hermione shook her head. Swallowing once, she finally settled on the question she wanted to ask most.
"Why the letters then?"
Smiling wickedly, Muriel leaned towards Hermione and stage whispered again.
"The third reason I knew 'Cousin Barry' was really Harry at the wedding. There was one young man that wasn't making a fool of himself over that pack of French trollops that were at the wedding, and it was 'Cousin Barry'. And that meant that some witch, somewhere already had a firm lock on his heart. What was Molly thinking, allow a pack of veelas loose at a wedding reception?" Pausing to take a sip of her tea, she went on,
"There were three young men who couldn't keep their eyes off you that day, Ron, that rather swarthy looking fellow who flustered you so, and 'Cousin Barry'. The only one of the three that you kept sneaking glances at was Barry. Since Minerva had convinced me that you weren't one to make calf eyes at a young man you'd just met, you obviously knew each other, and very well."
Sitting back with a very self-satisfied look on her face, Muriel took a noisy sip of her tea.
Snickering, Harry looked out of the corner of his eye at Hermione.
"Calf eyes?"
"Doesn't say much for you, young man, if you never noticed." Smiling blandly, Muriel looked at Harry for several seconds.
"That still doesn't explain the letters." Blushing, Hermione shook her head.
"Young people, these days." Turning to look at Harry, Muriel pointed her teaspoon at him. "I thought you were figuring it out when you broke it off with Ginevra last spring. When Molly told me that the two of you were seeing each other, I just shook my head in despair."
Swiveling in her seat, she pointed at Hermione. "And you let him get away with it. Honestly, did you really enjoy seeing the two of them all over the place together?"
Looking at bit taken aback, Hermione thought for a couple of seconds.
"Harry's my best friend. If he was happy, then I was happy for him."
"Thestral dung." Muriel stared at Hermione for several long seconds.
"I beg your pardon?" Looking startled, Hermione glanced nervously at Harry for support.
Speaking slowly and distinctly, Muriel smiled wickedly.
"I said 'thestral dung'. It's invisible but it still stinks and sticks to your shoes. I might be old, my family might think I'm senile, but I'm still sharp enough to know when someone avoids answering a question with a meaningless platitude full of thestral dung."
"She's got a point. Being happy for me isn't the same as being happy to see the two of us snogging our brains out."
"Harry, by that time I wasn't certain you had any brains left. Of course I wasn't 'happy' about you being with Ginny, but if I couldn't make you happy, then she certainly was a better choice than some of the others." Biting her lower lip she fumed. "Honestly, Cho Chang?"
Snorting, Muriel turned back to Harry. "Not so smug are we, 'Cousin Barry'?" She watched the two of them stare at each other as she took another sip from her cup.
Raising an eyebrow at Aunt Muriel, Harry stayed silent for several seconds. Turning to Hermione, he slowly reached out his hand and touched the back of hers.
"And I was wrong about that. I was afraid to reach out to you, afraid that I might lose you." Squeezing her hand, Harry looked back to Muriel.
"I knew you weren't as gormless as The Prophet made you out to be, but you might be smarter than I hoped."
Fuming, Hermione snapped at Harry. "What in Merlin's name is she going on about?"
Trying to keep from smiling when Muriel muttered, "I'm right here, for Merlin's sake." Harry took both of Hermione's hands in his.
"For some reason, Muriel was worried about us not being together. I think that reason was Teddy." Looking over at Muriel, Harry smiled when she nodded.
"Andi's grandson deserves better than part-time parents. From what Molly and Arthur told me when they visited, you two were very serious about raising him and doing the right thing. I thought the letters might focus the two of you on thinking of each other as a parent and a partner." Cackling at the looks on their faces, she shook her head before Harry could speak.
"And I sent the letter to Ginevra to stir the pot a bit." Nodding at Harry, she smiled. "If she reacted as I thought she might, I hoped it got you to thinking 'would I want to wake up to that temper the rest of my life?'."
"She didn't react badly, but you do have a point about her temper," Harry conceded.
"She's Molly Prewett reborn. Don't get me wrong, I like both of them, but Molly is a manipulator first class and her daughter learned it before she could walk. And both of them have a temper that's just this side of volcanic." Snorting in disbelief, Muriel sat back and took a drink of her tea as the others looked at each other.
"I'm not all sweetness and light, I'll have you know." Looking at Harry, Hermione arched an eyebrow and waited for his response.
"You're no pushover, and you have your own opinions. But even when we distinctly disagree on something, we both treat the other's opinion as important." Shaking his head, Harry grimaced.
"Even when I've been dead wrong, you listened to me and tried to keep me from being too big an idiot." Looking into her eyes, Harry nodded. "Thank you."
Whatever response Hermione had to that was lost as a shout of "Death to Mudbloods and Blood Traitors" rang out. Snapping his head up, Harry saw a cloaked wizard standing on the roof of the small shed in Muriel's garden.
Drawing his wand, Harry held up his empty hand and cast a wandless shield between Hermione, Muriel, and Teddy and the wizard on the shed roof. Seeing movement to his right, he stepped between the movement and the two witches he was shielding.
Muriel's wand swiveled and sent a pulsating ocher beam towards the wizard on her shed. Hermione's wand appeared in her hand and she sent a vicious bludgeoning hex at the witch that was casting a curse at Harry.
Hermione's snap shot only grazed the witch, but a blur of ginger streaked around the corner of the cottage and attached itself to the face of the unfortunate witch, emitting a battle cry more befitting a leopard than a household feline.
As Harry was pivoting, a shouted 'Crucio' alerted him to the presence of a second wizard behind him. The mind robbing pain from the curse drove him to his knees as he tried to maintain the shield spell. Both Hermione and Muriel turned, ignoring the screaming witch, and struck the wizard cursing Harry with spells. Hermione's reductor curse struck the unlucky wizard full in the face a moment before Muriel's ocher beam played across the unfortunate. He froze in place, becoming a statue whose face was in the process of exploding, a particularly grotesque look.
Turning back to the screaming witch, Muriel said calmly, "Ophelia, let her go." As the kneazel released the witch's face with a final rake of her hindclaws, Muriel could see the ruins of the witch's face were streaming blood and she probably would never see without major magical intervention and soon.
Hermione knelt and wrapped her arms around the shuddering Harry, looking at Teddy in his cot. Teddy was blinking slowly as he waved his fists in the air. Hugging Harry to her, she quickly glanced around the garden, but could see nothing moving except for Muriel, the ginger kneazel, and the dark cloaked witch who was whimpering as she vainly tried to stop her face from bleeding.
Glaring at the sobbing witch, Muriel muttered, "Where the blazes is Mad-Eye when I need him?"
Summoning her wand to her hand, she cast a patronus. As the silver wolverine formed in front of her, it began to immediately snarl and bristle at the whimpering witch. Shaking her head, Muriel sighed. "You can play with her later. Tell Francis there's been an attack and I need a cleanup for a sole survivor." Nodding as the wolverine streaked off through the garden gate, Muriel leaned back against the table and began to absentmindedly stroke the fur of the loudly purring kneazel.
Without looking over her shoulder, Muriel asked, "Is he ok?"
Brushing his unruly hair back from Harry's face, Hermione fished into her beaded bag and withdrew a potion bottle.
"He will be in a second." Uncorking it, she held it up to his lips. "Drink this, Harry. It'll help with the shakes."
Watching him drink the potion in one gulp, she smiled as the telltale steam came blasting out of his ears.
"That's my Gryffindor seeker. You were outstanding, keeping a shield going while you're being crucioed." Paling a bit at the result of her spell, Hermione looked at the gory statue behind them.
"I take it this one isn't going into your garden 'collection'?"
"Eh, one out of the three isn't a great addition, and the live one's going to go answer some very important questions from some very earnest young witches and wizards before she's obliviated and turned over to the aurors." Looking over her shoulder at the statue, Muriel smiled and nodded towards Hermione.
"Remind me never to cross you about your young man, dearie. That reductor blew his head apart." Nodding in approval, she smiled savagely. "Good for you. I would have done the same when I was your age." Lazily pointing her wand at the statue, she cast a silent spell that reduced the statue to a pile of unidentifiable rubble.
Struggling to his feet, Harry shook his head, as if trying to clear it. Looking at Hermione, he tried to smile.
"Are you three alright?"
Ignoring Muriel's snorted "Gryffindors", Hermione nodded as she sat Harry in a chair.
"Everyone that matters is just fine." Blushing a bit, Hermione asked, "Did that potion do the trick?"
Shivering a bit, Harry looked at Hermione intently for a few seconds. "It was… different. Started off life as a Pepper-Up potion, didn't it?"
"Borrowed Horace's Cruciatus Cure, did we?" Cackling, Muriel looked at Hermione and shook her head.
"Well, yes I did. It was the only really effective palliative and restorative treatment available. Despite its drawbacks." Biting her lip, Hermione looked away from Harry.
"Drawbacks?" Looking concerned, Harry reached over and touched Hermione on the shoulder.
"More like side effects." Snorting, Muriel laughed.
Looking worried, Hermione blushed. "It's nothing serious Harry. To help offset the aftereffects of the Cruciatus, you add licorice root, coffee beans, ginseng, and mandrake essence with just a touch of basilisk serum to the brewing of the original potion."
Still laughing, Muriel nodded to her. "Don't worry, you'll have about an hour to get both of your young men home and put them to bed."
"I'm not the least bit sleepy." Looking puzzled, Harry shrugged.
"Harry, sleepiness isn't one of the side effects of the potion. Although with the ginseng and mandrake essence, you'll probably want to go to bed when we get home." Looking at him intently, she held the gaze of his emerald eyes until she could see the memories of Potions class with Snape droning on about various effects of potions ingredients while the boys in the class all made snickering jokes come back to him.
Blushing, Harry swallowed and said "Oh, right."
Whatever was going to be said next was interrupted by a trio of almost simultaneous apparition cracks. Harry and Hermione both sidestepped to clear the other from the line of fire and were pointing their wands in different directions. Muriel was cackling at the looks on their faces and the faces of the three newcomers.
"This is the help I sent for." Nodding at the pair, she smiled at them until they lowered their wands. Turning to the oldest of the three newcomers, she smiled. "Hello Francis, how's your grandmother getting along these days?"
Cracking a small smile, the wizard identified as Francis inclined his head to Muriel.
"She's well. She was lamenting how boring life had become for those members of your Hogwarts class who are still living." Looking around the garden, noting the petrified wizard on the shed roof and the heap of rubble next to the cottage, he raised an eyebrow.
Smiling, Muriel walked over and put her arm around the younger wizard.
"You know I've never suffered boredom well." Looking over at Harry and Hermione, she smiled. "And I doubt it will be much of a problem with these two around." Guiding Francis over to where the pair stood, she smiled.
"Harry Potter and Hermione Granger, I'd like to introduce you to an old friend of mine, Francis Bethune. Francis, I'm certain that these two don't need any sort of introduction to you." Holding out his hand, the wizard nodded to both of them.
"I'm very pleased to meet both of you. Kingsley has had nothing but excellent things to say about you two and your friend, Mr. Weasley." Hearing the witch who accompanied him clear her throat, Francis looked over his shoulder for a second.
"If you'll excuse me for a second, I need to attend to a pressing matter." Nodding to Muriel, he hurriedly stepped over to where his two companions were attending to the wounded attacker. Her bleeding stopped and her ruined eyes bandaged, she was sitting quietly on the ground. Conversing quietly for a few seconds with the witch who had attended to her, Francis nodded.
Speaking calmly, Francis leaned over and gently took the witch's arm.
"Everything's going to be just fine, Azalea. We're going to get you to a healer so they can have a look at your eyes and get these wounds taken care of." Helping her to rise, she tried to pull her arm from him.
"You're going to turn me over to the aurors and the Ministry, aren't you?" Sounding panicked, she began to turn her head as if she were looking for a means of escape.
"Azalea, you have my word, the only people we're going to turn you over to are some healers, for the moment. And I'll be speaking with your parents before we decide what happens after that. I'm certain that they won't want you turned over to the aurors." Speaking calmly, he guided her gently to the witch and wizard who were waiting for her.
The witch nodded to Francis and wrapped her arm around the wounded witch's. In a cheerful cockney accent she gushed, "That's it love, just take my arm and I'll get you safely away from that monster that attacked you." Mouthing an apology to Muriel and giving a shrug to her partner, she smiled as the blinded witch held tightly to her.
"Next stop, the medical ward." Turning abruptly, she and her charge were gone. Her partner surveyed the ground for any splinched body parts and then apparated after them.
Walking back over, Francis frowned at Muriel.
"Any speculations whether they were here for you or your guests?"
Shrugging, Muriel continued petting the kneazel beside her on the table. "Most likely it was an impromptu reaction when someone saw these two coming here from the square.
"You recognized the Parkinson chit and that pile of rubble over there used to be her do nothing gentleman friend Saunders. Everyone in the village things I'm a harmless old eccentric, so there'd be no profit in bringing down the wrath of the Ministry by attacking a dotty old witch."
Looking at Harry out of the corner of her eye, Hermione spoke up.
"Parkinson? As in Pansy Parkinson?"
Francis sighed and nodded his head while Muriel cackled. "Azalea is the oldest of the Parkinson children. She was a seventh year Pansy's first. While I would expect something like this out of Pansy, I thought Azalea either had more sense or was more of a realist." Looking sternly at Harry and Hermione, Francis sighed again.
"I would appreciate if the two of you would 'forget' that this ever happened. I'm going to ask Miss Parkinson some very pointed questions and she's going to answer them truthfully. Then someone is going to have a very long talk with her family to find out if she's on her own or they're mixed up in trying to salvage something after Voldemort's death."
"You said you weren't going to turn her over to the aurors?" Frowning as he turned the recent events over in his mind, Harry looked troubled. Smiling, Francis gave a slight shake of his head in return.
"What I said was we were going to turn her over to some healers, which is true. She's most likely undergoing treatment right now to see if her sight can be restored and her looks salvaged." He gave Muriel a knowing look as he reached down and gently stroked Ophelia's fur.
"After that, someone is going to speak to her parents before her fate is decided. And I'm certain that her parents don't want her to be turned over to the aurors." Quirking an eyebrow, he looked at Harry with a very calm expression on his face.
Putting her hand on Harry's arm, Hermione nodded. "Harry, things are fine. Obviously there are things going on here that we don't need to know about. Correct, Mr. Bethune?"
Francis nodded approvingly at Hermione. "Miss Granger, I couldn't agree with you more." Seeing the thunderous look on Harry's face, he tried to smile reassuringly.
"Miss Parkinson is as safe as she can be, considering the level of personal stupidity she exhibited today, and she'll end up somewhere she can't cause anyone any more trouble. I foresee an extended stay in a private facility for Azalea, funded by her parents, of course, before she's allowed back into polite society." Acknowledging the knowing look on Hermione's face, he added, "A very secure facility."
Turning back to Muriel, Francis made his goodbyes. "I'm going to walk back to the house. Tabitha told me to give you her regards and she's expecting you for tea on Tuesday." Glancing over at the newly created statue on her shed roof, he sighed.
"I don't suppose it would do any good to hope to interview that one?"
Cackling, Muriel's eyes twinkled as she followed his gaze. "Check back in three hundred years and you can talk to him to your heart's content. You know I set that spell up so I wouldn't have to worry about revenge." Looking at the shocked looks on Harry and Hermione's faces, she shrugged.
"Much more secure than Azkaban and I don't have to worry about some dim-witted politician like Fudge setting them free after their family pays a sufficient bribe to the right causes."
Taking her wand, she moved the statue down from the shed and placed it under a ginkgo tree. Seeing the placement of the former Death Eater's open hand, she conjured a marble birdbath so that the hand was resting upon the edge of it. Producing a small mallet from a pocket, she held it out to Harry and nodded towards the statue's wand.
"Care to do the honors?"
Cautiously walking over, Harry took the mallet from the older witch. Stepping up to the statute, he laid the head of the mallet against where the wand appeared from the petrified Death Eater's hand. Taking a cautious swing, he sheared the wand off right where it protruded from the extended hand. A sudden shower of red and silver sparks shot out of the stub that remained as the rest of the wand clattered to the ground below.
"That'll sting in three centuries when he is finally released." Chuckling, Francis extended his hand to Hermione. "Miss Granger, come see me at the Ministry some time. I'm over at Centaur Relations and I can give you an introduction to those you'll need to talk to if you want to work with the House Elves bureau."
Turning towards Muriel, Francis smiled and shrugged in resignation. "Minerva was after me again to talk to you about Horace wanting to retire. She can find several excellent candidates for Potions, but she'd like you to teach a few upper level courses in Herbology and take over as Head of House."
"And how does Pomona feel about all this?" Muriel grimaced as she thought about her old friend's request. "I've got most of the wizarding world convinced that I'm a dotty old bat that putters around in her gardens all day. Teaching NEWT level herbology would put a bit of a dent in that, don't you think?"
"Pomona is thinking about retiring, she's grooming young Longbottom as her replacement. This would give you a chance to see what he's made of and take a direct hand in rehabilitating our old house." Seeing the reactions of the two Gryffindors, Francis shrugged. "Not every member of Slytherin House is inherently evil, you know."
"Very true. But if Aunt Muriel is disinclined to let people know that she's not the witch she seems to be and you would find it inconvenient take a teaching position, I might have a suggestion." Smiling coyly, Hermione shushed Harry with a quick look.
"That is if you would be willing to take the advice of a lowly Gryffindor."
"You do realize that if you're ever resorted, the Hat would want to place both of you in Slytherin." Muriel chuckled at the innocent face Hermione was pulling and the cheeky smile on Harry's. "Exactly who would a pair of Gryffidors suggest to lead Slytherin House?"
"Andromeda Tonks, nee Black is a certified Potions Mistress, a former Slytherin, and a member of an old and prestigious family." Hermione posited, trying to keep a smile from her face.
"And the fact that she married a muggle-born wizard should leave no doubt to any remaining baby Death Eaters who plan on returning to Hogwarts in the fall exactly where she stands on the issues of muggle-baiting and the Dark Arts."
"Very good, Ms Granger." Looking thoughtful, Francis smiled at Muriel and nodded. "I'll drop that suggestion in Minerva's ear as soon as I get an opportunity. I'll be looking forward to your stopping by Centaur Relations to discuss options for your future."
Nodding once again, he turned and left the garden, whistling a jaunty pipe tune.
"Centaur Relations?" Hermione asked, raising an eyebrow as she stared after the departing wizard. Smiling smugly, Muriel nodded.
"The staff at Centaur Relations is always available to assist with other 'matters' since the centaurs don't want anything to do with the Ministry on an ongoing basis. It's amazing how many people don't realize that a department that size has to be doing something other than waiting for the centaurs to want to talk to us."
Glancing over at the sundial, Muriel winked at Hermione. "I hope you two will come back, but you need to be getting both these young men home for their naps." Smiling wickedly at the blush on both their faces, she laughed.
"And I do wish you'd keep your visit here a bit of secret from Molly and Arthur and their children." Winking at Hermione, Muriel smiled slyly. "It wouldn't do for them to find out I'm not a total horror. You two are welcome back any time."
Smiling, Hermione shook her head. "I think we'd like that. We'll be back at least once before we head to Australia to find my parents. Would it be all right for us to apparate here into the garden next time?"
"I suppose the village welcoming committee was a bit too enthusiastic for you today. I don't think there are any other idiots in the village, but you're welcome to show up here, with advance notice of course."
Laughing, Muriel helped Harry collect Teddy from the portable cot. Noticing Hermione looking at Ophelia, she nodded.
"And bring Crookshanks with you; he was one of Ophelia's last litter. It would be good to see that rascal again. Callie at Magical Menagerie wrote me when you bought Crookshanks. The Ministry's restrictions on kneazels mean that I have to offer at least one from each litter for sale commercially. I always put a charm on them so that they won't be sold until someone appropriate shows up."
Smiling, Hermione blushed. "Appropriate? How so?"
"Someone the cat or kneazel in question feels would be a suitable person to own." Seeing the surprised look on Hermione's face, Muriel sighed.
"You don't honestly believe that anyone ever really owns a cat, do you?"