*Thank-you for the reviews on the last chapter. They were greatly appreciated. Thank-you so much*
"Ms. Young," says the doctor as he comes back into the examination room at his office as I am sitting on a chair next to Renee as she sits on a table. "We have the results of your pregnancy test, you are indeed pregnant."
"For sure?" asks Renee.
"100% positive," he says looking over her chart. "I would say given your last period that you are about 8 weeks along."
"8 weeks?" asks Renee, "that's really far along."
"It is," he says, "but you were on birth control at the time of conception so it's understandable how you didn't know at first. How regular were your periods while you were on the pill?"
"I was skipping every other month," she says. "But I was taking the pill correctly. I was taking it at the same time every day how did I get pregnant?"
"The thing about the pill is it isn't 100% effective. It is 99.9% effective."
"So you're telling me that I am the 1% that ends up pregnant off the pill?" asks Renee, "I have taken the pill for a couple years now and never had this issue now all of a sudden, taking it correctly I end up pregnant?"
"I take it that this baby wasn't planned?" asks the doctor. "You have other options if you don't want to take responsibility for the baby. I will give you a pamphlet with your options."
"We don't need a pamphlet," I say, "we just need to know how the pill didn't prevent this pregnancy. We're keeping the baby even if we aren't ready we'll just have to get ready for the baby. If Renee took the pill at the same time every day how come she ended up pregnant?"
"You two travel a lot?" he asks.
"Yeah," I say.
"And you traveled to Europe?" he asks.
"A couple months ago," says Renee. "What does that have to do with anything?"
"When you were in Europe did you take your pill the same time as Las Vegas time or did you take the pill the same time at Europe time which is 8 hours ahead of our time. It's possible if you didn't figure that out when you were in Europe that's the reason you're pregnant now."
"I didn't adjust it," she says before she looks at me. "I'm sorry, Dean."
"Hey," I say, "don't apologize," I say, "we'll be all right. This was bound to happen right now may not be the best time but it will be okay. We'll figure it out and it makes me happy even though everything else in my life is falling apart right now and it sucks at least this gives me something to be happy about and look forward to. Sometimes in the darkest moments of our lives we just have to look for the light and that baby is the light."
"Okay," she says with a smile. "And you're right sometimes in the darkness there is that little bit of light that keeps you happy. We'll get through it together."
"Yes we will," I say with a smile before I kiss her lips softly. "So when is she due?"
"January 25th," he says. "but that's just going off of her last menstrual cycle I'd like to do a quick ultrasound to find out more. I want to make sure the baby is doing all right and I want to get an accurate measurement. Do you two have time for an ultrasound?"
"Yes," says Renee, "we have time for an ultrasound."
"Okay," says the doctor. "Just give me a few minutes and we'll be ready."
"Okay," says Renee before the doctor leaves the room leaving us alone. It's a lot to process. The last couple days have been a mixture of anger, sadness, happiness and regret. I'm all over the place on my emotional spectrum but the biggest emotion I feel is guilt. I'm torn up over everything that happened with my mom but with the baby I'm trying to be happy but it's not working. I am an emotional wreck. "When are we going to tell Ken the news?" asks Renee.
"I don't know maybe after my mom's funeral," I say. "I don't think right now is the best time to tell her and then we can announce it to your family and our friends. I don't want it to be public. People don't need to know about it."
"You do know I am on national television right? There's no way I'm hiding a belly too much longer. They're going to know."
"All right well no one finds out and it's not announced till after our family and friends know about it. We can make something cute for Kennedy to announce it to the world. I am okay with that but not for a couple more weeks. I want your family to know and our friends. My biggest fear though is what if I go to jail? I'm going to miss this baby's life and you're going to be on your own with two kids. I can't do that to you and let that happen to you. I'm truly scared, Renee."
"Well, next week you'll be talking to your lawyer. Maybe you two can work something out. I hope you don't go to jail and I'm scared about it too."
"We'll figure it out," I say before I kiss her lips softly.
A few minutes later the doctor comes back into the room with an ultrasound machine. He explains the procedure to Renee before giving her time to take her pants and underwear off. She covers herself up with a towel before he comes back into the room to do the ultrasound. He turns on the machine as I hold onto Renee's hand. "I'm just going to do an internal ultrasound. It's going to be uncomfortable but it is so we can get an accurate measurement of the baby and determine a due date," he says.
"Okay," says Renee as the doctor takes the wand and puts a condom type thing over it. I remember this procedure from when Saige was pregnant with Kennedy and we had our first ultrasound. I kiss Renee's fingers softly as the doctor tells her to relax before he inserts it into her. She gasps as I stroke her knuckles with my thumb trying to comfort her.
"Just relax, Ms. Young," he says. She lets out a deep breath as I kiss her forehead softly. He moves the wand around a little bit as he looks on the screen. "Wow," he says.
"What is that wow about?" I ask as I look on the screen and I see it. "Is that?"
"What?" asks Renee as she looks at the screen also to see what we're seeing, "there's two babies?"
"Twins," I say as I feel myself getting a little hot in the room. "Twins?"
"It looks like that," he says with a smile. "Congratulations."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, how did that happen?" I ask.
"Do twins run in either family?" he asks.
"Not in mine," I say.
"Not in mine either," she says, "I'm having twins? Dean and I are having twins?"
"That's usually what it means when there are two babies inside of you."
"Oh my God," says Renee with shock.
"They're looking good," says the doctor. "They have strong heartbeats and they are both measuring about 8 weeks. We are looking at January 25th still as your due date."
"I need a moment to wrap my head around things," I say, "Renee and me are having twins?"
"Twins," says the doctor. "Baby A is here and Baby B is right here," he says pointing to the screen.
"I think I'm going to faint," I say.
"Don't faint," says Renee, "I need you. We're having twins. I don't know what to say."
"Me either," I say. "Twins," I say letting out a deep breath. I'm doing my best not to panic at this news. One baby was a lot to handle but now we're talking about two. That's even harder. I can't believe that Renee is pregnant with twins how does this even happen.
"Would you two like me to print off a sonogram for you?"
"Please," says Renee before her honey brown eyes are on me. "What are we going to do now?"
"I have no idea," I say, "I'm just glad we have a big house with lots of rooms. We're going to need it."
"You said it," she says with a smile. "I'm really scared now."
"Me too but there's nothing to be scared of. We'll figure this one out together. No matter what happens, Renee, I'm going to be there. I'm going to do the best that I can to be there. I don't want to miss their lives and I don't want to see you do this alone. I'm going to be there no matter what I have to do. I'll quit my job if I still have one. I'll do whatever but I will be there. I'm going to plea my ass off so I don't go to jail. I need to be with my family. I love you," I say.
"I love you too," she says as I see the tears forming in her eyes. I lean down and kiss her lips softly as if it can take away her fear and take away my own fears. The truth is neither of us really knows what's going to happen and how it's going to turn out. The only thing we can do right now is live by faith and hope everything turns out for the best.
A FEW DAYS LATER:
We spent the last few days trying to get it together about having twins but also by working on funeral arrangements for my mom's funeral. Renee has been a big help. She took a couple weeks off and I have yet to talk to Hunter or Vince about my job. I just can't focus on that right now. I need to be focused on each day at a time. Once I talk to my lawyer and my mom is laid to rest I'll talk to them but right now we just need to focus on today. I have so many emotions running through my body as I'm getting dressed in a suit for my mom's funeral. I still wish it was all a nightmare but it's not. It's the worst hell I could ever imagine. I'm fixing my tie as Renee comes out of the bathroom wearing a beautiful black sleeveless dress that falls just above her knees. Her short blonde hair straightened with a bobby pin in the side keeping her bangs out of her face. "How is it going?" she asks me.
"I don't think I should go," I say.
"She was your mother, Dean, you need to be there."
"But it's my fault she's gone. People are going to look at me like I'm some monster. I should just stay home."
"You're not staying home," she says wrapping her arms around my waist from behind, resting her cheek on my shoulder. "I won't let you stay home because you'll regret it the rest of your life if you do. No one is going to look at you like you're a monster. Everyone knows that you didn't mean to do it. It's not like you went out and planned to take your mother's life. People know it was an accident. No one is going to look down on you," she says.
"Oh yeah? Elena thinks I'm the worst person in the world because of this and that's why she's trying to take Kennedy from me and push me out of her life because I'm some horrible monster."
"You're not a horrible monster," she says. "You have a heart of gold and I know it's killing you inside because you loved your mom. I know that and you have every right to be there. You need to say goodbye to your mom properly and not by staying home."
"It's the whole world," I say, "have you read the tweets on twitter. People want me to be fired, they think I'm a horrible person and they aren't wrong, Renee, I killed my own mother. I killed the woman that gave me life. The one that supported my dreams and raised me, I took her life away because I'm a monster."
"On accident," she says.
"I was drunk, Renee, I didn't accidently get drunk, get behind the wheel of that car and drive it by accident. I knew what I was doing and I didn't care. I killed my own mother because I am selfish. I could have killed my daughter too but luckily I didn't. I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if I would have taken her life. I can barely live with myself after what I did to my mom, Renee. I shouldn't go today.
"Look at me," she says as I turn to face her. She grips onto my bicep as I look deeply into her beautiful honey brown eyes. "I don't care what people on the internet are saying about you. It doesn't matter. I know you didn't mean to kill your mom. What you did by drinking and driving was stupid. I could have picked you up but you did not purposely kill your mother. It was a coincidence that you hit the car she was driving."
"She took Kennedy out for ice-cream, they were going to have a movie night, Renee, I took that from them. I took my daughter's grandmother from her. I'm not going."
"Dean Ambrose, you will go to your mother's funeral. You will not miss it. I will not let you miss it. Your mom was an amazing woman. I'm sure she has already forgiven you by now."
"That's fine for her but I don't forgive myself for what I've done."
"Dean, I know it hurts and I know you're angry at yourself for what you've done but you can't spend the rest of your life hating yourself because of it. It will always be with you and you'll always remember it but take the lesson from this. Don't drink and drive again. You can't hate yourself the rest of your life. I know it's tough but you can't keep beating yourself up because if you do you'll never heal. You need to take the next step today and go to your mother's funeral. I am not going to let you miss it. I won't."
"Renee, people don't want me there."
"It doesn't matter what they want, Dean, your mom would want you there and you owe her that much. You owe it to her to go to her funeral. Take your time with your mom and take the time to release your feelings. I know it sucks. It hurts but your mom would want you to be there no matter what. She loved you , Dean and I know how much you love her. You two were close with each other and I always admired that about you two but to say you're not going to go to her funeral because of what everyone else thinks isn't you, Dean. What happened to the guy that pissed on everyone's opinion and only based his decisions on what the people that love him thought about him? Kennedy and I want you to be there today. Your mom would want you to be there, fuck everyone else, Dean. This is about you and how much you love your mom. Don't let her down by not being there."
"Okay," I say with a smile. "I knew there was a reason why I love you."
"I'm sure there are a million reasons why you love me just like there are a million reasons why I love you. Now let's get ready to go," she says with a smile before she kisses my lips softly.
People file into the church to pay their final respects to my mom. My mom was a great woman and had many friends as well as a lot of family. My mom was a single mom my entire life. My dad walked out on the both of us when I was a baby and never came back. My mom stepped up and did what she needed to do for me, for us so that we could survive. She took on two jobs just to make sure there was food on the table, all the bills were paid and I had clothes on my back. My mom never once thought of herself before me. When she wasn't working she spent as much time with me as she could playing games with me, helping me build buildings from legos and whatever else we could get into together. We watched movies together and watched TV together. I wouldn't say my life was perfect growing up and it wasn't the best but it wasn't the worst either. She did everything she could to make sure I got the help that I needed in school. We may not have had the best house but it didn't matter the house had love and that's all that mattered to me as a kid. My mom made many sacrifices for me so that I could be happy. My mom was all I had growing up, my only parent, the only one tucking me in at night and reading me stories, she made sure I went to school and when I told her I wanted to be a wrestler she supported me in those dreams. When I fell down the path of alcoholism she was there to help me get back on my feet. The short time I moved to Florida to train in developmental she came down to stay with me. She was the first person to know that I asked Saige to marry me and the first to know she was pregnant. She was the first to hold Kennedy at the hospital. After Saige died my mom made more sacrifices to help me raise Kennedy. She gave up her own life to help me keep mine together. I will never be able to thank her enough for everything she's done for me and everything that she's given me. She was the best mom I could have asked for. Anyone that met her knew how amazing she was after the first meeting. She never once considered herself better than others. She was very humble and loving. She always put everyone before her. People will always remember her for her caring and loving personality, the smile she wore on her face that I inherited from her. She was an incredible woman and because of my stupid choice her life was cut short.
The priest starts the funeral talking about how there is a time and a reason for everything but it's not our place to ask the question why. It's a time for us to mourn and reflect on our time with Ellis Ambrose. She was one of a kind. I sit in the first pew as Renee holds my hand and Kennedy sits next to her. Tears filling my eyes as people share their stories of their interaction with her, and their stories of who she was. I feel a sob building as I think of my time with her and everything that we've been through together. She was always my rock. Every time I needed her she was there for me. My sob breaks loose as I fall apart in the pew. I can't stop myself and neither can Renee as I get up to my feet and make my way over to my mother's coffin. I choke on my words and choke on my sobs as I cry hard, not a soft cry but one of the hard ugly cries. The pain is evident in my cries as I fall to my knees. "I'm sorry, Mom. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to do this to you. I'm so sorry," I cry through my sobs and nothing but pain and hurt in my voice. Renee gets up from the front pew and walks over to me as I'm squatting at my mother's coffin, the congregation watching me, the priest helping Renee to get me up but I won't move. I can't. "Mom, I'm so sorry," I sob. "I'm sorry." I sob as Kennedy runs over to me pushing Renee and the priest of the way. She wraps her arm around me and hugs me tight as I hold onto her and cry. It's like Saige's funeral all over again except this time I am the monster that ended the life of a wonderful woman. Kennedy cries on my shoulder as I hold her and I feel her heavy sobs as I sob myself. Renee gets down with us and wraps her arms around both of us as we cry together. I don't know if I'll be able to ever forgive myself for what I did to my own mother and if I can't forgive myself no one else should either.
*A/N: What did you think about the news of Renee and Dean having twins? Can they handle twins with everything going on with them? What do you think of their fears? Should they be scared of what they don't know? What did you think of Dean not wanting to go to his mother's funeral? What did you think of Renee talking him into it? Has the accident changed Dean? What do you think about what happened at the funeral? Will Dean ever forgive himself? Please review and thank-you fo reading.