Welcome to the really, really, really last post in this story. Thanks again for all your awesome reviews and especially to Chephren for betaing again!!!
Trials of Living - Epilogue
"And as the recent events have shown it is mandatory that we provide psychological assistance to all our soldier-"
Tiredly, Zack pushed the off button and the TV showed him a dark screen instead of the third rate 'expert' that had to throw in his two cents about the 'recent events'. It was three months now and still the press hadn´t calmed down or left them alone…
At least, for the sake of the boys, they had found a safe place, unknown to the media, so Kadaj and Loz could get some rest and start something like a continuation of their lives. Zack was relieved that they seemed to take it relatively well, as the case may be. Loz was pretty quiet all the time and a bit aggressive. He certainly blamed himself, but Tifa seemed to be his pillar of strength and Zack was happy that she was there to console her boyfriend. She was a strong, gentle girl that had the guts to keep Loz in check when his helpless anger went too far. He also cried a lot.
Kadaj had become very pale and Zack was under the impression that he was still in a state of shock. It was as if the boy hadn´t really realized what had happened and how much his life had now changed. On one hand, Zack was a bit relieved, because Kadaj was spared the mental torment, but on the other hand, it´d all come crashing down on him later.
At least the boys had been given to Zack to care for. Reeve came almost every day, providing psychological assistance and mental support. Even Vincent had come once, but Kadaj had attacked him with his little fists and placed the blame entirely on him so they had agreed that, for now, it was better if he gave the children some time to adjust to the situation. If they ever did…
They hadn´t gone to the funeral. Well, at least Kadaj and Loz hadn't. The latter had strongly refused to go and Kadaj was still too young, Zack decided. He would take him to his brother´s grave later, whenever he wanted, but for now it was too much.
Zack however had gone. To avoid total chaos, it had been decided that both Yazoo and Sephiroth be cremated and their ashes scattered. Only the closest family members had been allowed to attend to the secret internment.
Since Sephiroth hadn´t had a family beside Zack, he´d been only one of two people in attendance. Cloud might have come, if he hadn´t been so utterly devastated. He was celebrated as the new hero, but Zack was very much doubted that his friend appreciated it.
Vincent had been there too.
Two simple gravestones, Rest In Peace. Zack really hoped they had now found peace.
He had managed to get the both of them, Sephiroth and Yazoo, next to each other. He had wished to get them together, all of them into the crypt of The Fallen, where Angeal and Genesis rested as well, but Sephiroth wasn´t a hero anymore and everyone quickly had distanced themselves from the crazy General and his just as deranged child...
Zack didn´t care. He knew both sides of his friend and even though he despised the last he had gotten to know he was still convinced that the first had never really died. Overshadowed maybe, but the fact that Sephiroth had stepped in the way of the bullet that had been supposed to be solely for Yazoo, told him that there still had been something human inside his friend. Something that maybe still cared. It was unfortunate and maybe a case of poetic justice, that the bullet had pierced the General and hit Yazoo in the chest still. Maybe it was for the best though; it had been a painless, quick death.
He and Vincent had been standing there, silently. There were no words of comfort.
At some point, Vincent had left. Zack stayed, standing in his spot under a high weeping willow in the farthest corner of the cemetery. He´d stayed there until the sun had gone down and the warm, light breeze turned chilly.
Pinching the bridge of his nose, Zack gulped down the lump in his throat and got up from the sofa.
He went down the corridor, stopping first to listen if everything was all right behind Loz´door. It was late, but Zack had trouble finding sleep lately. For the last three months to be exact.
Only muffled snoring.
The former soldier went further down the corridor, to his own bedroom.
He made a short stop at Kadaj´s door, to listen, but no sound was to be heard. Quietly, he pressed down the handle and glanced in to the dark room.
"You all right?"
Kadaj was sitting in his bed, knees hugged to his chest. He looked back at Zack when the door opened.
"I´m fine.", he replied dully, slowly blinking. "Just can´t sleep."
Sighing, Zack watched the child a moment longer, before he softly asked,
"Nightmares again?"
"Nope, just can´t sleep." Kadaj mirrored his bestest friend´s half hearted smile; it was just as empty.
"'kay."
The door closed again, and again it was dark in the room. A moment later, Kadaj could hear Zack vanishing inside his own room.
"What is wrong? You don´t want to turn on the lights?" Mockingly the General lifted an elegant brow and drew the teen in his lap closer. "It is not that bad, you know. I have seen far worse during war." Sephiroth matter-of-factly flicked a bit of the scorched flesh that stained the bullet wound around the thing that had formerly been his belly with a finger. "Kitten, your brother is a wimp," he informed Yazoo dryly, and with no hidden disapproval, his eyes glittering coldly in the darkness.
"Hn." Yazoo just smirked a perfidious smile, leaning his head against his father´s shoulder and letting the man stroke over the small wound right above his heart. "Sunrise is in about five hours anyway."
Kadaj shifted his head back from the door, continued staring straight at the wall, his fingers tightening around his pyjama pants. And then he tried to ignore the two of them sitting patiently at his window sill like they had done since the last three months, wondering if they would ever leave him alone for just one moment of peace.
~Klappe zu, Affe tot
Now, before you lynch me, let me tell you that I am planning on another sequel already *sigh* Yeah. I can´t leave it alone XD Obviously Kadaj got a little… broken from all the stress and, seeing two people die, his mind now plays tricks on him. However it makes good material for a sequel that deals with Kadaj and his imaginative brother and father. We would meet the other characters again as well and get a deeper look at how they deal with the past events now…. Anyone interested in reading it?
Alienvampirefreak: Thank you very much, I´m glad too that you found it again!
Natzilla: Yes, here is the epilogue ^__^ Yes, Cloud thinks he has to justify his actions to someone, and Kadaj was the only one left. I think Sephiroth might have stepped in unconciously, but it still shows that he somehow cared, especially as his top priority was to survive and not die… A sad ending indeed *sigh* But thank you for finding it worthy, and for following this story, and reviewing so loyally and for your help with the betaing!!!! *huggles*
Wildfire Sniper: Thank you, I am glad you liked it! It was a bit difficult to find a new, unique reaction for everyone, because I think basically everyone was just D8, haha. *gladly takes cookies and offers some hot chocolate in return*
Valitiel: Yeah, somehow it´s always Cloud who kills Sephiroth, even if he doesn´t want to ;) Ah, what scene a few chapters ago did you mean? *curious* Yes, I suppose right now everyone feels pretty lonely and devastated –save for Kadaj. He wishes to be left alone. But things will start to slowly get better. Maybe XD Thank you for reading and reviewing!
Sareyva: Haha, a bang indeed XD I´m sure Kadaj would be very happy if you hugged him right now, he really needs some love *sigh* Thank you so much for your great review and I am really happy you enjoyed it!
Soyna: Yes, everyone is miserable because of Sephiroth and Yazoo and the two of them sneaked out from taking responsibility via death… Usually things don´t go as planned and especially the small things that are thought of being insignificant turn out to be trouble in the end… Thank you for reading this story and for all the awesome reviews and encouragement!!!!
IA1979: Haha, a growd of totally stupified people must really look quite funny XDDD Ah, I can faintly imagine how you felt when Yazoo took matters into his own hands! He probably was the only one able to think clearly in this moment and make his shemes. In the end it didn´t help him though, since his logic was overridden by… well, you might say loyality to Sephiroth. Cloud really was devoted to Sephy, I suppose it all happened so fast that he didn´t have time to sort out his emotions and realize that his General was too far gone. Maybe he didn´t even want to know. It was easier to just blame it all on Yazoo… (I totally hear you about german! Even I didn´t particularly like it at school, I was always hooked on english too XD). DARRRN about the link!!! Am I assuming right that the link still doesn´t work? Despite your terrifying threat? I will try to find another nekkid Sephy pic then and send it to you via PM XDDD Thank you for reading and reviewing and especially for your very elaborate reviews, they gave me a lot of motivation to continue!
Rina: Hey my sweetheart! I suspected that you would have been unsatisfied ;) And it really wouldn´t have been plausible. I could neber kill Kadaj however! Even though he was in the line of fire, it would not have been fair; he was pure and innocent. See, Loz is a clever guy; he knows when to leave some things to other people, even though I am very positive that he´d loved nothing more than doing as you suggested. But in the end it is better he didn´t take actions, it would have become even uglier. Cloud only heard what he wanted to hear, and he was eesperate. His whole worldview was about to crumble… Zack became the boys´ guardian indeed, but it might take a while before things get normal again, especially for Kadaj. I think too that we will never really know about Reno and if he seriously meant to kiss Yazoo out of affection, but I doubt it. It probably was a tactic to make Yazoo feel save and it did work. I dunno if they are having fun in hell, but surely they have fun in Kadaj´s broken little mind… *cough*dontkillme*cough* And you already gave me a reward with all your awesome reviews!!! Again thank you for being so honest, it gave me a lot to think about!!! (Yeah, and if all goes well you can follow the sequel of the sequel too soon XD)
Anon: Awww, I´m sorry!!! *hands out cookies, fluffy blande and hot chocolate* XD Ah, yes, this story isn´t really sunshine and lollipops, and well, the Renzoo didn´t really work here either… quite a dissappointment, I see XD Now I must admit I do not think that I can ever write a fic and kill Yazoo and/or Sephiroth again. Haha, don´t worry, I think Deus Ex Machina will have a happier ending! Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me!!!
Aiko Celeste: Yes, indeed, they were hopeless, and it was an act of mercy from my side to kill them XD Thank you for reading it and I am very happy you enjoyed it!!!
Oztan: Yes, you are absolutely right, I am glad this point came across! Yazoo had some form of attachment to Sephiroth indeed, and he might have just noticed during his last seconds. And Sephiroth was attached to Yazoo too, in a way; otherwise he wouldn´t have stepped in. Ah, I hope it got clear in the epilogue, but Seph and Yazoo were really unlucky, because the bulled went through Sephiroth and hit Yazoo still. I think I will write a sequel to this story and I will try to get in more Angeal and Genesis too :) Thank you for all the wonderful reviews and suggestions, they helped me a lot!
Xyleel: Ach herje… Naja, es ist kein wirkliches Happy End geworden. Ja, Yazoo ist tot *heul* Aber Klapse war auch nicht das wahre, und jetzt kann er ganz ungeniert und frei in Kadajs Einbildung weiter rumnölen XD Vielleicht hätte Sephy wirklich gemerkt, dass Familie das richtige für ihn ist, aber es ist ja jetzt leider zu spät. Ich weiß nicht so recht ob er wirklich schuld an allem ist. Er war wirklich mental kaputt, und ich vermute, daran waren wieder andere Leute schuld... Aber letztendlich hast du recht; er war klar genug um zu wissen, dass er die Leute um sich herum kaputt macht und für seine Zwecke missbraucht. Yazoo wusste, dass er das falsche tut, aber nicht in moralischer Hinsicht. Er wusste nur dass das was er tut kontraproduktiv ist um ihn aus der Sache herauszuhauen. Uhm und naja... Kadaj ist etwas angeschlagen jetzt, aber ich denke, er ist wieder enger mit Loz!!! Vielen Dank fürs lesen und Kommi schreiben, und ich hoffe, es war nicht zu schlimm mit dem Ende!!! *zur kekse und heiße schokolade- party mitnehm*
(Just one last thing for those who are interested: My theme song for this story is actually this song "My Twin" from Katatonia (link: take out spaces: http://www . youtube . com/watch?v=an-nknHiaiU ignore the video please. Just the music and the lyrics are relevant XD) Especially Kadaj´s POV in the last chapter. )
The neck and then the chain
The head is hung in shame
I thought that you had grown
That you would carry on
But now that I am gone
What else has been withdrawn
You used to be like my twin
And all that's been
Was it all for nothing
Are you strong when you're with him
The one that's placed you above us all
I think of love
I let it pass
It feels like fire
But it won't last
What is it coming to
I am unwilling to go on
You have lost
No one has won
*
Now I´m out.
Fer realz XD
*waves*