Just to tease you all, make you review, I'll give you this chapter. Get it to 200 reviews and you get the rest of the story, remember. Otherwise I'll just take my time updating, slowly hobbling along with posting *gasp* I might even forget every so often *evil grin*
200 people.
He may have brought my baby back safe but he's still a cocky little shit.
Today we were going to the reef; today was the day I would tell Bella about my feelings. It felt right to tell her today, I spent the night pondering what I should say.
Bella, I'm sorry I killed you but if it makes up for it, I love you! or Bella, you're as beautiful as your name suggests and when I killed you not only did I ruin your life but mine too because I love you. Most of my ideas were like this, they were all terrible and by the time dawn broke I still had no idea what to say.
I made Bella Eggs Benedict; she loved it and told me to make a bottle of hollandaise sauce for her to drink.
"So, what will I need today?" Bella asked while I was in the kitchen preparing her lunch.
"You'll probably need a bathing suit, unless you wish to go nude, which by the way I'm not opposed to," that comment earned me a slap. Too bad there was way too much truth in it.
"Okay then, you'll need a change of clothes, a water bottle, a towel, and that's just about it." I packed away the sandwich beside the soft drink in a basket. I grabbed an ice pack from the hotel's freezer and stood it next to the drink.
"Is this big enough?" Bella was holding one of the water bottles that were in the fridge, you know the ones you pay 5 dollars for if you even break the seal.
"You tell me, do you think you'll need a liter of water and 2 liters of soft drink?"
"Better make it 4 liters of soft drink, just to be sure," sarcasm laced her tone and she gave me an angelic smile.
"Now you're acting just like a little spoilt brat," I muttered.
"I heard that and … I want my cola," she whined the last part just like a little kid but I heard her giggling soon after.
"So Bella, you ready to be amazed," I asked. We were driving to a boat hire, I wouldn't let a simple tour take my Bella to the reef. I wanted to do it myself.
"Is it really as good as everyone says it is?" she asked.
"That depends on how much you like swimming, when I came it was beautiful, even though it was night."
"Why were you swimming at night?" she asked then she gasped, "Oh, I get it. The sparkling thing."
"Yeah, that and I don't think the people who were swimming alongside me at daylight would like me scaring away all the fish."
"You what," she asked giving me a look that a mother would give her misbehaving child.
"I wouldn't do it on purpose," I assured her; she thought I was trying to be mean to the tourists, she really was an open book.
"So why then," there was only a little skepticism in her voice now.
"I scare most animals, their instincts are better than humans' ones. Technology has made them lose track of their animalistic cores. Which in one way is good, democracy and fairness can exist but it's bad because it allows bad vampires to hunt and people are more likely to do stupid things."
"What stupid things?" I could tell Bella liked hearing my opinion on things, ever since she learned my age she had held a higher respect for it.
"Would you ever catch a lion jumping off a 30 meter bridge held up only by a piece of elastic? Or a dolphin doing laps of a river to try and be the fastest and win a piece of metal. Would a hawk think twice about eating a pigeon because it might get fat?"
"We are a petty and stupid race, but if another animal had evolved like us I doubt they wouldn't develop strange ideas or habits. Just look at domesticated pets, they have the chance to be picky so they are. A fussy cat may only eat one brand of food, or a dog might not eat an egg." Her points were valid; I loved listening to her thoughts too.
"You know, for someone only 17 years old you have some good ideas." She blushed at my comment, the beautiful color reminding me how much I loved her. She was beautiful, smart, and funny, I really didn't deserve her.
"So…" I drawled, "You believe in evolution." I started a conversation about religion versus science. I loved listening to her voice; it was the most beautiful sound. We talked all the way to the dock and she even kept whispering to me as I paid for the rental yacht. I knew we could always talk about something, as soon as the topic came up. I also knew that I wouldn't care about hearing her repeat the same things over and over.
We were almost at the reef when Bella said.
"So to cut a long story short…"
"It's a bit late now," I muttered.
"I heard that, anyway, to sum it up I think God just created the universe and let the chips fall where they may after that."
"But what about Jesus?" I asked just as I started to park the boat.
"Well, I think God does govern us sometimes but with so many other worlds, and possibly other life, to look after he can only look after us every so often. Jesus was one of the rare occasions where he had time to try and fix us."
"But God should be all powerful; he created this universe so how come he can't have his almighty mind tuned in on everything at once?" I argued as I dropped the anchor.
"But that's impossible; he can't possibly comprehend all of everything at once."
"He's a deity. If it is possible to create a universe than everything else is possible too, well, for that individual powerful and smart enough to create all this," I beckoned around me.
"But what if he wasn't that smart, what if he didn't realize all this would form, the corals, the patterns on leaves and shells. He can't have designed this all in 7 days."
"Maybe you're right, maybe your wrong, when you pass on ask him all this for me."
"Ask him yourself," Bella huffed.
"Bella, I'm a monster, you really believe that if I do die I'll be able to go where you go. No, I'll go straight to hell." I sighed.
Bella was staring at me with her big doe eyes, she was beautiful and whole and innocent. I was dirty, guilty and cursed. I'd killed so many I could never follow Bella.
"Edward," she tried to comfort me. She walked over and draped her small arm around my shoulders, "Edward, you try so hard when you don't need too. You're like a lion refusing to eat a zebra because you think it's wrong, yet all the other lions will eat it. You're a good person Edward."
"Bella, I've killed people before," I growled at her. I was a bloodthirsty vampire back then, killing and drinking. I was like mass murderer; I would rot in the fiery depths of hell.
"So… maybe you slipped, like with me. All that matters is you're trying to redeem yourself. God will see that, he'll forgive you. I mean, you're helping me aren't you?" She smiled softly. She was an angel, only an angel could comfort and forgive a vampire.
"I never should have killed you. Bella, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry to the millionth degree. I wish I could take it back but it only shows how much of a monster I am. I can't even control myself. You never deserved to die; I just want you to have peace. It's the least I could do." I smiled at her and saw how glassy her eyes were. She hugged my waist and sobbed.
She couldn't help hating me for what I had done to her, yet she still tried to forgive me. She had only her killer to comfort her, it seemed so unfair.
God, I'm sorry if I offended you anyway today but I need your help. Look at Bella; nothing is more beautiful or special than her. Let her find happiness, please. I know I'm in no position to ask favors but Bella is so perfect she shouldn't have to be put through this. I sent a silent prayer to God and hoped that I was right and he was listening.
Remember, 200.