Gamer
Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.
It was only a week since Zabuza had disappeared from their lives and already things were returning to normal. Kakashi was being lusted on by every female creature within a two mile radius, Shisui's boyfriend was being scary as hell and Gai was fully enjoying his stalking. Oh yes, things were normal again.
"I really wish he would stop doing this." Kakashi scowled at the bright green latex suit that had once again been left on his desk with a note: 'To my youthful rival'.
"He obviously knows Bakakashi."
"Knows what?"
"That you're secretly a latex fetishist."
"Haha. Brilliant." Sarcasm was dripping from his voice. "Out of all the fetishes to ever have existed, latex is the one I will never understand."
"I'd have thought that'd be your kind of thing." Kakashi scowled.
"After finding out Gai wears this kind of thing under his clothes 24/7, I don't think I'll be able to look at anything latex again."
"...He wears those under his clothes?!"
"Yep."
"All the time?!"
"Yep."
"I thought he only wore the trousers."
"If only."
"How'd you find that out?"
"He said he wanted us to compare training methods and stripped off in the bathroom."
"Wow. Just... wow. Well now that image is in my head."
"Be grateful you didn't see the real thing." Their eyes met and both shuddered at the despicable image they'd just seen. And when Gai entered the room both quickly looked away before they could be tempted to start scanning his outline for telltale signs of latex body suits.
"...I think he needs a hobby."
"Or a fuckbuddy."
"That's your answer to everything!" Both looked over at the boy with large eyebrows who was attempting to do push ups at the front of the room, to the amusement of everybody else around him. "...But in this case I think you might be right."
"Exactly. Now who do we hook him up with?" Obito started spluttering.
"What's it got to do with us?!" He barely managed to talk to people as friends so trying to set people up sounded like far too much effort socialising.
"Well he's not going to do much if we leave him on his own. Look at him." Kakashi pointed at Gai who had moved on from push ups to squats. "He's almost as bad at socialising as you are and people are kind of intimidated by him."
"Well how exactly do we find someone who's not creeped out by him? Not to mention the fact that the few friends we have are coupled up. And is he straight, gay, Bi? We don't know what he likes!"
"Judging from his supportive attitude I'm guessing he's gay so we can narrow it down to men."
"Ok, so now we have to find a single, gay man who's as weird as he is."
"...Well I've got nothing."
"Like I said, it's near impossible!"
-Page Break-
Stupid Bakakashi. I'll kick his ass. Obito had been grudgingly forced to walk home alone when Kakashi was asked to stay behind to help one of their teachers. Why he always did this was unknown but Obito suspected it was because he enjoyed the praise and attention. Shisui and even Gai were nowhere to be seen either, so he was walking moodily through the streets and scowling at all passersby.
It was while he was contemplating whether or not to go into the corner shop and gorge on anything filled with sugar that he saw a familiar face sitting on a bench looking bored.
"Z-Zabuza?!" The boy quickly turned and after seeing Obito was alone seemed to relax.
"Hello Obito."
"Why're you here?"
"Well seeing as I have nowhere else to go I've just been sitting here and working out what to do."
"Oh..." He did feel a little guilty. The guy was a manipulative asshole but still. "I'm sorry I don't know anywhere you could go..."
"I don't expect you to. It wasn't you that forced me out anyway, it was the other two." Most of his hatred was reserved for Kakashi but he was also annoyed at Shisui.
"In all fairness it was your own fault."
"I suppose. Sleeping on a bench is a little tedious though."
"You've actually been sleeping on a bench?" Somehow that thought hadn't occurred to him.
"Where else?"
"...Good point." Who the hell do I know though? There's no one who could-. He didn't know why this didn't occur to him before. "Could you meet me here again tomorrow?"
"Ok...?" Perhaps he should've invited him back for the night but there was no way Kakashi would let him back in the house.
"Be here around the same time."
-Page Break-
It was at school the next day that he went to put the next part of his plan into action. He'd told Kakashi who seemed annoyed at the fact he'd spoken to the asshole but also amused.
"I think this would be more of a punishment than any kind of help."
"Well I think he'd be happy with anything right now. Besides, it would be suiting!" They were currently standing outside the changing rooms waiting for a certain latex clad friend of theirs. Surely being both fairly annoying, Gai and Zabuza would be perfect for each other. "Are you sure he's in there Bakakashi?"
"He usually rushes to the gym at the start of lunch and seeing as he's not in there now he must be changing."
"How long does he have to take though?! And why does he always show up when we don't want him there, yet the second we need him he's nowhere to be seen?"
"It's just one of life's great mysteries." Luckily they didn't have to wait long.
"Kakashi my youthful rival!" He appeared seemingly out of nowhere with all of his green body suit on display. It highlighted every feature and it was hard to know where to look. "And also Obito, do you need something?"
"Yes actually, we need a favour."
"But of course. Anything for friends!" A small gathering of children at the end of the hall stared and shuffled awkwardly away from the booming madman.
"I thought so... Anyway, would you have space for anyone else at your house?"
"I live alone so there's plenty of room."
"Oh..." I didn't know that... It seemed a surprisingly large amount of the people he knew lived alone. "So yeah, there's this guy I know called Zabuza. He's Kakashi's... cousin!" Well they did look fairly alike. "And he's kind of homeless at the moment and we really don't have space at our-."
"A family member of Kakashi's?! Homeless?! Say no more! There's plenty of space for your cousin! Where is this unfortunate soul?"
"Well I'm meeting him after school at-."
"Perfect! I'll come with you and meet this Zabuza! But now, to training!" And off he dashed full speed down the hallway.
"..."
"Well there's that problem dealt with."
"Yeah but... Do you think we should've asked someone else?"
"There was no one else we could've asked. Plus he's not a bad guy."
"Just certifiably insane."
"Zabuza can defend himself if it comes to it. Besides you've done it now so you can't really take it back."
-Page Break-
Gai had been waiting for them after the last class and seemed eager to meet this cousin of Kakashi's. They were given a few odd looks due to the way the boy marched and practically shouted everything he said. How someone could be so overly enthusiastic at all times was beyond Obito but Gai wasn't a bad person so he wouldn't say anything.
As expected Zabuza was waiting in the same place although he did a double take when he saw the loud green thing coming towards him at high speed.
"Ah! So you must be Kakashi's cousin!" There weren't many people who wore those strange half masks along the bottom of their faces. Gai held out his hand. "I'm Gai Maito! Nice to meet you!"
"Err... Likewise?" Stupidly the boy gripped the offered hand. He learnt the error of his ways when his arm was practically ripped from his socket. Kakashi was trying not to laugh.
"Gai's a... friend of ours from school. He said he has space at his if you need somewhere to stay."
"Oh..." Zabuza considered the bench for a minute. That seemed at least a little quieter. But then again, if he gets too irritating I can always knock him out. "Well thanks for this Obito, and thanks...?"
"Gai! Have you already forgotten?!" The shouting caused him to recoil a little.
"S-sorry, thanks Gai..." He heard his 'cousin' sniggering and scowled at him. He didn't have long though before he was gripped by the arm and dragged away.
"Come! Let us make haste while we are still youthful!"
"Err..." No one would know what to say to that. Obito did admittedly feel slightly bad.
"I think he's going to hate us even more now."
"He'll live. Gai on the other hand..."
"Oh god... I really hope I won't have his death on my conscience." Gai was nicer than the rest of the people in their class.
"I think he can handle himself so I wouldn't worry."
"Yeah... And Zabuza can always leave."
"Or they'll fall madly in love and be humping like rabbits by the end of the week?"
"...Now that's an image I don't want in my head." Kakashi leant forward.
"And they'll both be wearing latex."
"Just shut up!"
GaixZabuza is a bit of a weird coupling but I always wanted to pair Gai up with someone and it seemed a good idea in my head :) Thanks for reading and please review :3