Chapter 37 – Tris

"I'm not going to hurt you ever again Tris, I promise you every day I will do nothing but show you just how much you are loved and cherished. You're the one for me…" Those words. His words have done nothing but replay through my mind time and time again since last week when all our barriers were finally removed. I feel heat rising through every pore, reaching the core of my very being even just thinking about it. He made me feel like the only woman in the world, and a number of replays have only served to cement that in my mind.

He's always had the power to make me believe I am beautiful and powerful, and I find it hard to believe that it took me so long to realise just how much he positively impacts my life. I suppose after almost two years of being apart I felt I could live without him, that I didn't need him to feel whole, but the truth is I have never been happier. It is a far cry from only a few months ago where I couldn't see the possibility of us ever getting back together, or being the family I always dreamt we would be.

Before my thoughts start to move any deeper I will my eyes to open, despite how I'd rather stay snuggled in bed for the rest of the day. As my eyes adjust to the light I see the faint body shape of the man who has just been the centre of my thoughts and a smile instantly rises on my face, as there aren't a lot of things that could be better to wake up to. He's lying on his chest, head still facing me with our legs remaining tangled together from a little extra-curricular activity that may have happened last night. With that thought running through my mind my hands instinctively make their way to his bare back, tracing the indents of his scars which may have previously represented the pain of his past but now represent only his strength. He has endured more than any human should and as my fingers move further down his back and find their way towards the tattoo he has running down the length of his spine, extending out to fill most of his back, I can't help but hope that only happiness comes his way and I am part of it.

As I trace his back, still familiarising myself with him after a couple years of absence, I recall how he's added to his tattoo throughout the years, small additions here and there which show his triumphs and serve as a 'up yours' to the scars which were left by a particular person I no longer care to recall by name. I quickly shake any thought attaching itself to that person and a soft smile is brought to my face as I trace over his tattoo of a phoenix rising from the ashes, which now covers the majority of his back, as I recall how he kept saying how cliché it was and that it was stupid when he first showed me. But he and I both know it is a perfect representation of his story and I know he does not regret a single drop of ink which is on his skin, as he is definitely someone who mulls things over and doesn't make decisions lightly.

"Your fingers are cold," an all too familiar voice mumbles suddenly causing me to jump slightly.

"Sorry" I whisper whilst quickly retracting my fingers from his back, pursing my lips in embarrassment.

"I didn't say I wasn't enjoying it" he says as his eyes flutter open, his gaze on me intense and I find myself not being able to look away. I don't know how long we continue to gaze into one another's eyes, it's not an electrically charged stare but one where it feels like we can have an entire conversation with no words.

"What a beautiful way to wake up" he states out of the blue, with a lopsided grin gracing his features as he shuffles his head closer to me.

"Naa uhh" I call out whilst shaking my head and moving away from his advances, "morning breath."

"Didn't seem to mind yesterday" he quips back, suggestively wiggling his eyebrows at me, causing my face to flush red instantly.

I reach out and shove him slightly and he laughs, a deep rumble which shakes the bed and leaves me staring in wonder at him as I am momentarily rejoice at the sound. In my lapse of concentration I suddenly feel warmth spread through me from the contact point of my lips and I suddenly become aware of the fact that Tobias has got his wish and as I feel his lips on mine…screw morning breath. I just start reciprocating when he pulls away with a mischievous glint in his eye, no doubt revelling in the fact he got his wish, whilst I stare at him mouth agape desperately hoping for more.

"Ruby is probably awake"

"Tobias" I whine at him quietly, squirming at the effect he has caused to my body as I pout at him.

"Now I know where Ruby gets it from…that's a very special skill you have" he says as he drags his forefinger across my bottom lip. We sit in silence for a few moments before he speaks up, "as much as I would love to stay in bed with you all day, Ruby and I have some Christmas shopping to do-"

"Again!" I exclaim in shock, "how many people are you buying gifts for because this is the fourth time in two weeks you've been Christmas shopping." It's a valid question because for as long as I have known him he has insisted that he is an efficient shopper who only needs to go once, unlike me.

For a moment I could have sworn I saw a flicker of panic in his eyes at my questioning before his stare turned blank, causing my eyebrow to upturn in response. I know he has Ruby keeping a secret as I've caught them out a couple of times conspiring together and whenever I ask her about it she simply puts her hand over her mouth and quietly utters "it's a secret." Causing me to laugh and be intrigued simultaneously.

"It's just an extra special Christmas" he says quietly, reaching out to cradle my face.

"Dada, dada, dada," a voice I am all too familiar with screeches as she barges into our room, my name no longer as special as her dads.

"Good morning my princess" he says sweetly as he hoists her up onto the bed, safely nestled between us and straight away I am thankful for the fact I put my top on through the night.

I watch the pair of them greet each other as though they haven't seen one another in weeks and it makes my heart swell in both love and pride.

"Hi mama," she says suddenly as though only just registering my presence.

"Hey baby girl," I say as I sweep her hair away from her face so I can see her deep blue eyes stare back at me. "You going shopping with daddy today?" I question knowingly, and from my peripheral vision I see Tobias stare daggers at me knowing my intentions, and I have to consciously withhold the grin threatening to break out.

I redirect my attention back to Ruby who is nodding at my question excitedly and looks to Tobias, "she know?" she questions in a whisper, which…well really is not even close to a whisper.

"No, mummy doesn't know" he says while casting his eyes towards me as Ruby slaps her hands over her mouth as to not divulge any more information.

"Mmmmm" I hum with a small grin, "well mummy is very excited for Christmas if all these shopping trips are anything to go by."

….

"Christina! I'm not going to snoop" I say incredulously.

"What…you're going to find out what it is on the day, so what is the harm in a knowing a few days early?" she says with a casual shrug of the shoulders.

"You've had a look haven't you?" Her quick eye movement away from me answers my question and all I can do is shake my head at her in jest.

"I didn't find anything thing though," she says with a bit of disappointment threaded through her voice, "knowing Will he's probably leaving it till Christmas Eve…apparently unlike a certain someone," raising her eyebrows up at me.

I look away from her, hiding my face so she can't see it flushing red at just the mention of Tobias. I still can't get over the fact that it still feels as though we have only just got together for the first time, and that any mention of him sends my heart fluttering, providing a perfect platform for all my friends to tease me.

"Cat got your tongue?" I hear ask teasingly from her position on the opposing sofa, which only serves to embarrass me further.

"Chris" I plead to her as the feeling of her eyes boring in to me start to make me squirm.

"Gosh…you're too easy to wind up my friend, which is surprising because I have a feeling you've been unwinding with someone on numerous occasions this past week" she adds quickly, not being able to hold back her laughter any longer. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse.

"Why is my love life of so much interest?" I question, slowly moving my eyes back in her direction to gage her response.

"Honestly?"

I nod earnestly.

"Well you're both so…stiff, for lack of a better word, about it and we like to see you both squirm." I give her the best glare I can muster, but her thoughts seem to be elsewhere.

"Plus…it's something we couldn't joke about before," I lower my head slightly knowing exactly what she is referring too, "…and knowing how happy and settled you are now just makes every little step forward so exciting. I know I was not on the Four bandwagon at the start…or the middle…" she seems to lose track momentarily before snapping back into it, "or for any time at all really, but you sitting here now with that giant smile permanently plastered on your face just proves how wrong I was." I hadn't realised I was smiling that much bu- "Tris, you're my best friend and I want nothing but to see you happy, and when I get those cute family selfies of the three of you together that you send me I know you are. I hadn't realised it, but despite how much you were hurting when he first came back, he ignited something within you straight away and we got back the Tris we had always known. I don't know what it is about him that causes that, whether it is his abnormal charm which no one else falls for…or voodoo magic but whatever it is I hope he keeps it coming because this," she gestures to my smile, "is something I will never tire of seeing."

Wow. That's all I can think. The amount of serious conversations we have had recently should have prepared me but her words seem to have hit me and it is a little overwhelming. Tears seem to fall before I even have time to realise it, and Christina is immediately on hand with some tissues.

"I don't know why I am crying" I say whilst laughing and dabbing my eyes.

"Maybe you needed someone to confirm what you have been feeling inside all along."

I look at her in disbelief, not knowing how she suddenly became so wise about my feelings, but I suppose that is how I know she is truly my best friend.

I gather my emotions and collect my thoughts, "I think you might be right. It's as though I didn't believe I could be this happy, and now that I am I question it at every turn."

"Well girl you need to just let yourself be happy. You deserve nothing less…let's just hug it out" she says, and before I even have the opportunity to reply I am enveloped in her arms. It's a long, loving embrace which makes me so thankful for having a friend like her as she may have disagreed with my decision to be with Tobias at the start, but she refused to let that affect our friendship or ignore that fact that he makes me happy beyond belief.

"You've got me really curious about what Four and Ruby are up too for your Christmas gift" she says softly, breaking the silence, our arms still around each other.

"You have no idea how intrigued I am, it can't be anything big because there is no way Ruby could keep it secret."

"Well luckily there are only a few days left until you find out."

Okay so I am sooooooooo sorry again for how late this is! But despite how much I hate having left it for so long I can't guarantee when my next update will be, however I really hope you enjoyed this one! Love to hear all you thoughts, and if I don't update before Christmas I hope you all have a fantastic day!