(The Man in the Fallout Shelter)

Thank you for reviewing my story. I appreciate it. This chapter is definitely rated 'T'.

I don't own Bones.

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Booth was sitting on the couch admiring the robot Zach had given him, trying to figure out what the power supply was supposed to be. The last thing he wanted to do was give his son a toy that didn't work for Christmas. All that would do would make the boy cry and Rebecca bitch at him.

Hodgins and Zach were sitting on the couch drinking a Coke and examining the present that Dr. Goodman had made for the entomologist when Zach's attention was diverted by a phone call. "This is Zach Addy . . . but this isn't my fault. I'm under quarantine . . . I don't know what that means . . . I still don't know what that means, Shelia . . . May I speak to you after the holidays? . . . I still don't know what that means . . . bye."

Puzzled, Hodgins rubbed the end of his nose and stared at his friend. "Why did you keep saying you don't know what that means? What did she say to you?"

Zach placed his phone back in his pants pocket and shook his head. "She is quite angry that I missed our date this evening. She complained about it and accused me of trying to avoid her and then she told me she didn't know why she expected anything from me as I'm just vanilla in the sack and not worth the bother."

"Ouch!" Hodgins patted his friend on the shoulder. "That was pretty low."

"What was low?" Zach found himself becoming very frustrated with the older man. "I don't know what that means. If you wish to continue this conversation then you should explain what she meant since you clearly do understand."

As patiently as possible, Hodgins leaned back against the couch and nodded his head. "She's complaining about your lack of imagination when you and she have sex."

A little scandalized, Zach stared at Hodgins for a few seconds, his mind a whirl of memories. "She thinks I'm unimaginative? But . . . She seemed to be satisfied."

His heart not really into the conversation, Hodgins shrugged his shoulders. "Apparently not."

The sound of some of the gears in the robot moving drew Zach's attention towards Booth. The last time he's tried to ask the Agent about sexual positions the man had threatened to shoot him, but surely since they were quarantined together, Zach reasoned that Booth would be friendlier this time. After all they were now comrades. At least he seemed to be less tense than he normally was anyway. Determined to get help from someone who was clearly an alpha-male, Zach stood up and moved over to where Booth was sitting.

"Agent Booth, my girlfriend has accused me of being unimaginative when we have sex." Zach missed the way Booth's body immediately tensed. "I was hoping you could explain to me some of the ways you perform with your sexual partners and . . . "

Before Booth could respond, Hodgins leaped from the couch, grabbed Zach by the arm and dragged him from the room. Glancing back over Zach's shoulder, the entomologist noticed Booth stand up and glare at them as he forced a protesting Zach from the room. Once out of the room, Hodgins grabbed Zach by the shoulders. "Are you insane? He threatened to kill you the last time you brought up sex with him and now you're asking him about how he performs? Do you have a death wish? You're asking to be killed."

Annoyed, Zach glared at this friend. "Who better to ask than Agent Booth? He is clearly a dominate male and I'm sure he has a lot of sexual experience. I thought I did well when I perform sexually, but according to Shelia I don't and I need some help. Agent Booth . . ."

Afraid, Hodgins looked over his shoulder, saw Booth staring at them and turned to face his friend. "Zach, Booth is not someone to mess with. You cannot ask him personal questions and you sure as hell can't ask him sex questions. He's tight as a spring in a watch and he's a sniper for God's sake." Pulling Zach further down the hallway, Hodgins stopped when he could no longer see Booth. "Look, you want help then fine. I know of a book that can help you. I'll buy it for you tomorrow. Just leave Booth alone for God's sake. You do know he's the only one with a gun in the Lab right now? He could kill us all and no one could stop it."

Angela overheard the last part of the conversation and came out of her office. "What is going on? Why are you worried about Booth killing us?"

Hodgins turned and faced Angela, his hand gripping Zach's arm very tightly. "Zach asked Booth to explain how he performs sexually with his girlfriends."

"While I might be interested in that answer that is not a question I think you should ask Booth, Zach." Angela shook her head. "Booth values his privacy. I joke with him about sexy things, but even I know you can't ask Booth about his performance with other women. He doesn't really have a sense of humor at least when it comes to personal things like that." Curious, Angela turned to face Hodgins. "So what book are you going to buy Zach?"

"Kamasutra." Hodgins released Zach's arm. "It will explain everything Zach needs to have a non-vanilla sex life while avoiding being killed by Booth."

"Oh Kamasutra." Angela approved. "Yes, that should definitely help."

Since he trusted Angela and Hodgins, Zach finally realized that asking Booth personal questions was probably considered risky behavior. "I look forward to reading this book you've promised me."

"I'll bet." Angela laughed and walked away. "Just don't ask me to explain the sparky bits. I don't want you to spontaneous combust."

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