Twenty Years Later- Bunbunmaru Spirit News archives
Ice Fairy discovers terrible truth!
Like, you would never believe it, but like, it would seem a mere fairy has discovered something awful! According to her, and several others, the sky is, like, totally falling! And, like, they've all gone to tell the border youkai this, while I am doing my duty and telling the whole of Gensokyo this horrifying truth before it's too late!
I came across a group of people all headed towards the Garden of the Sun, all led by Cirno the ice fairy and the flower youkai, Yuuka Kazami. Other members of the group included Daiyousei, the head fairy, the three mischievous fairies, Sunny Milk, Star Sapphire, and Luna Child, along with Mystia Lorelei the night sparrow, Wriggle Nightbug the firefly, Rumia, youkai of darkness, and Tewi Inaba, though she didn't appear to be taking the threat all too seriously.
However, with so many people believing it, especially the flower youkai, this threat is like, super-serious! I like, had to ask them more questions and find out just what was going on!
Hatate: Like, hey! What is all this? What are all you guys doing in a big group?
Cirno: We off to see the border youkai! We need to tell her some important news!
Hatate: Oh my! Like, what important news is that?
Cirno: The sky is falling down! We need to tell her at once!
Yuuka: It is certainly most tragic, and action must be taken immediately by those who have the power. Hence I am doing the good deed of leading these innocent young souls to where Yukari Yakumo is, so that she can know the truth. Now, if you'll excuse us...
Hatate: So... the sky is falling down? But, like, how is that even possible?
Cirno: I felt a sharp pain on my head, like something fell on my head, but when I looked up, there was nothing but sky!
Star: Therefore the only thing that could have fallen on Cirno's head was the sky itself!
Hatate: Hm... like... perhaps when the thing fell, it bounced off Cirno's head and hit the floor?
Yuuka: No, no, that can't be it. My... senses indicate that the sky is, in fact, falling. My sunflowers are behaving in a most worrisome manner. Now, if you'll come with me, children...
Sunny: We're not children!
Tewi: (muttering) I can't believe these morons are going along with this...
Hatate: Like, what did you say, Tewi?
Tewi: Me? Nothing.
Yuuka: Yes, she said nothing. Now, we must come along...
Cirno: No! If the tengu know what's going on, we can warn the youkai mountain without even going there!
Rumia: Wow, good thinking, Cirno! You're so smart.
Cirno: I know.
Yuuka: No, no, it is more important that Yukari knows...
Cirno: I'll tell you the full story!
Hatate: Like, okay. Be as thorough as possible...
Cirno: Well, after I made my discovery, I decided to bring my findings to Daiyousei.
Daiyousei: Cirno was so distraught that I had no choice but to believe her. And now that I look at the sky... I swear I felt it fall on me a few times in the last few days.
Hatate: So, like, the warning signs have been there since a while back! Like, then what happened?
Cirno: Dai and I went to the three fairies of light's tree and told them all about it!
Sunny: I've noticed that the sun's been getting hotter, I thought it was because summer's on the way, but the sky falling makes much more sense!
Star: The stars' energy hasn't changed, but they're just dots, they never change like the sun and moon do.
Luna: I couldn't see the moon last night... what if that's fallen from the sky altogether?
Hatate: Like, scary stuff! Where'd you go next?
Cirno: Dai said that we needed to tell someone important, so we decided to head for Mayohiga to tell the border youkai all about it. On the way, we came across Mystia Lorelei selling lampreys.
Mystia: Even though I was busy cooking the things, once I heard the sky was falling, I dropped everything. Sure, my stand may be burning down, but the fate of the world is more important!
Wriggle: Then I saw them all, and found out the truth, and suddenly the reason my insect horde refused to go too high made complete sense to me.
Cirno: We walked and walked to Mayohiga, our group growing, and then a dark blob walked into us!
Rumia: Um... you mean me, don't you?
Cirno: Yeah, you!
Rumia: Anyway, I've felt things fall on my head from above for a while and could never explain it, so I knew at once that the ice fairy had discovered something terrible!
Hatate: Like, this is so scary! All of you genuinely believe this, right?
Yuuka: Yes, it is truly a terrifying set of events in motion... quickly, we must find Yukari before she moves again...
Cirno: ..anyway, we got lost in the bamboo forest of the... well, lost, and then Tewi showed up to help us!
Tewi: And out of... um... the kindness of my heart, I helped them out of the forest to find Yukari Yakumo, though why they aren't seeking out the Hakurei Shrine Maiden is anyone's guess...
Cirno: She believes us too, don't you, Tewi?
Tewi: Sure I do... (rolls her eyes)
Yuuka: Anyway, we should get going...
Cirno: Hey, Yuuka, tell the tengu your part of the story!
Yuuka: (facepalms) As you will. I saw these frightened children in their hour of need...
Sunny: We're not children!
Yuuka: (continues as if uninterrupted) ...and informed them that the border youkai was not in Mayohiga at the moment, but instead was in my garden.
Hatate: Like, it must be serious if you're taking time out of your busy schedule to help such... you know, lower life forms.
Tewi: I'm a rabbit youkai, I'm hardly lower-
Yuuka: -it is an important issue.
Hatate: So, like, why is Yukari hanging out in the Garden of the Sun?
Yuuka: ...um... secret border youkai reasons?
Cirno: That's enough for me!
Yuuka: You truly are gifted with a quick mind, ice fairy.
Cirno: I know, right?
Hatate: Anyway, like, I'll publish this up as a story and warn everyone, you get right onto telling the border youkai everything! Like, I guess you're a better person than people think, right Yuuka?
Yuuka: Of course... I am truly a charitable soul...
And like, with that, I sped right on over to type up all these notes! It's like, really scary, the sky falling and whatnot! I mean, what if the border youkai can't stop it? Then there'll be no more sky, it'll be all down here, and that can't be good!
This is, like, Hatate Himekaidou, telling everyone to totally panic! Panic! Loot and steal stuff while you can, fight your hated enemies without restraint, and wear totally goofy hairstyles, because, like, the end's coming! We're all going to die!
Article written by Hatate Himekaidou.
Present-day hindsight: Turns out the sky never fell. Hatate still wanted this in the archives to show how 'like, how good she is at causing hysteria' but I don't buy it. She fell for that ice fairy's story hook, line, and sinker.
However, a much more reportable event occurred afterwards, but for some reason, Hatate thought that the gruesome details of what Yuuka Kazami did to all of those poor unfortunate youkai, bar the rabbit, was too unsettling for the public. It's like she forgets the uncivilised youkai around here eat sentients for breakfast or something.