A/N - Thanks for the reviews, bit behind on admin replying to them but hopefully you'll forgive me.
Long one this time. Bolded is direct quotes from the episode. Hope you enjoy.
Chapter 37 - Deliverance
In ops:
Deeks: this is all my fault.
Callen: No. My plan. My fault.
Callen left his team in ops, his head a mess with what had happened. Kensi was in trouble. It was his fault.
"G, stop."
Callen stopped abruptly and turned. Alex was right there behind him.
"I have to get-"
"Yes, but not this way," Alex cut him off.
"How do you even know what way?" Callen demanded. "I don't even know what way." He was frustrated, felt guilty and so many thoughts ran around his head as he tried to work out how to get Kensi back safe and sound that he wasn't even sure what way was up right now.
"I know you G." Alex said softly. "I know you want to rush in and save her."
"Of course I do." Callen started to turn and walk away. Alex slipped into step beside him.
"But you can't. Not this way. You have to think with your head not your heart."
"You'd be doing the same thing," Callen replied. He looked across at her as they kept walking. "And anyway, haven't you been working on me listening to my heart more."
Alex put her hand on his arm and pulled him to a stop. Callen noticed they were in view of everyone downstairs and guided them back into the shadows.
"Yes and yes," Alex said. "But G, Kensi's best hope is for you and your team to do what you do best. You need your head in the game."
"My head is.."
The look on her face stopped his words.
"Really G?" Alex shook her head. "You're running on emotions, which isn't a bad thing as long as it's tempered with logic and a plan."
"Meaning?"
"Meaning you and Sam are partners. Kensi and Deeks are partners. You pair Sam with Deeks and you break a great partnership. A partnership you are going to need to get this done."
Callen's voice raised slightly."She's alone Alex."
"No she's not."
"Don't tell me you let Lily -" Callen stopped at the look on her face. "James?"
"Yes and he will be there with her as long as she needs him to be." Alex frowned. "You don't really think I would let Lily go into that do you? No matter how much she cares for Kensi."
Callen shook his head, "I'm sorry. " His voice was soft with his next words, a touch of desperation to them. "I have to get her back."
Alex put her hand up and cupped his cheek. "I know," she said softly. "I know what you are going through. When Walsh had you, as soon as I knew where you were I was on my way to the car. Fled ops, raced up the stairs and barged straight past Hetty without a word. I would've kept going except she grabbed my arm. I swung around and almost hit her."
"You almost hit Hetty?"
"She was stopping me coming to you." Callen knew that the look that was probably on Alex's face when Hetty stopped her would have been enough to turn anyone else to stone.
"What did she do?"
"She reminded me how well I work with Nathan. That I was always better with him than on my own. That my partner couldn't possibly be there for me or have my back if he was playing catch up from twenty paces behind. And that to get you home meant I needed to be at my best." Nathan had been the flipside of her coin. Where Alex was weak he was strong and vice versa.
"It's my fault," Callen told her.
"No it's not."
"My plan got her into this."
Alex shook her head. "Her trust in you has kept her alive, and most likely Deeks too. If she had continued to refuse, they probably would have killed them both there and then."
Callen shuddered at the thought.
"She's waiting for you G," Alex stepped closer and looked him directly in the eye. "Trusting you all to get her back. As a team. Not just you. Don't try and play the hero. You need to do this as a team. You all have your parts to play and if you try playing someone else's it will all go wrong."
Callen could felt his determination to walk out now and go and get Kensi wane. Alex continued her onslaught.
"Deeks needs to do this too. He and Kensi need to know that they have each others backs and will fight for each other. Kensi has put her faith and trust in all of you. She already knows you won't stop until you get her. She knows it about Sam too. She needs to know the same applies to Deeks."
"But-"
"You trusted Nathan with me."
"Yes but you two weren't in these kind of situations."
"No we weren't," Alex admitted. "But it didn't mean things didn't get hairy. When Walsh had you, what do you think would've happened to me if I'd gone off and come to you on my own? Without Nathan by my side doing everything he could and the other teams you wouldn't have had to live through me dying in your arms because I wouldn't have made it to you that day."
Callen closed his eyes briefly and sighed.
"G, I know how hard this is for you. Let Deeks prove he's got her back. If you don't let him show you that he can be there for her, you'll never really trust him. And neither will Kensi and you know how important that is. Trust your team ... Trust me?"
Callen took a deep breath and nodded. Alex gave him a satisfied smile. "Good. Now go make that plan."
Kensi - Laser room:
"Well aren't you in a bit of a tight spot."
Her eyes were closed but Kensi would know that voice. She was in the middle of some breathing exercises to attempt to remain calm. She knew if she moved and crossed one of those lasers, lasers that she couldn't see, she was done for.
"Any chance you can whisk me out of here?" Kensi opened her eyes and focused on him across the room.
"Sorry Kensi," James said. "I honestly have no idea how this whole angel thing works."
"You did it with Callen and the car."
"True. Still can't say how we did it. You know I would if I could."
"Maybe I should ask them to turn off the camera. Maybe you aren't allowed witnesses."
Normally James would have chuckled at a comment like that. That spoke volumes about the situation.
"It's bad isn't it?" Kensi asked him.
"I'm afraid so. You know they're coming for you right?"
"I know."
"Callen will be here Kensi."
"I know," she whispered. Fear started to rise in her. Not the kind she'd had before, about being blown up. But the kind about what it would do to the man she loved. How would Callen cope?
"Don't you go there Kensi Marie," James said firmly. "You know he'll come. He'll never stop coming. He's not going to let you go now."
She closed her eyes again and took a couple of deep calming breaths.
"That's my girl. Pleased it still works."
"You taught me, of course it does."
"Glad I can be of some assistance. Though I suspect the mental picture you use no longer contains me."
Kensi smiled. "You would guess right." He'd taught her a long time ago to breath slowly, counting to 5 each way and picture the thing she wanted most at that moment. He'd featured frequently in those mental pictures. Now though the man in the picture, the picture of her safe and sound and at home, was definitely not James.
"I'm here Kensi. As long as you need me to be."
"Stay. Till they get here please," she begged. "Just do me a favour and don't make me laugh."
"Wouldn't dream of it." His tone was serious. James had said those words to her many times in the past, usually with a tone and a look in his eyes that sent her into giggles. This time he didn't though. Kensi took it as she knew he intended. A promise.
"How long?" she asked.
"I don't know. But they're coming."
"Alex on the case?"
"Not sure. If Callen's out of line, probably."
"Good to know."
"She's there for you too, as often as you or he need her."
"I know." She knew Alex was there for her, even though they had never met, at least not in the real world. She wasn't quite sure why she could see Alex and Lily. Maybe she should ask sometime, if they ever got to chat when there wasn't some pressing danger.
Time ticked on. James' presence was comforting even during the long silences. Especially the times when she felt the fear rise again and he worked with her to breath through it. When she started to sweat he moved closer, caught her gaze with his and with his eyes promised he would never leave her. They were in this together. She almost cried but he got her breathing again.
"Kensi, they're here. Just hold on a little longer. You can do this."
Kensi nodded. "James."
"Yeah?"
"I love you. You know that right? Even though.."
"I know. I'm glad you've got him now. But don't you even think that you are coming to join me anytime soon. I want to see what you look like old and grey."
Kensi almost smiled. "Thought you weren't going to try and make me laugh."
"No trying to make you laugh. Just stating a fact."
The door opened and Deeks came through.
Deeks? Kensi thought. Not Callen?
"Deeks is your partner Kensi," James whispered for her ears only. "Where else would he be? Trust him."
"Kensi?"
"Deeks stop!" She took a breath. "Switch off the lights."
At stadium:
Callen and Sam's pace was fast when they headed to check on Kensi and Deeks. When Deeks hadn't answered briefly after the explosion Callen was about ready to sprint, but then he'd said they were good. He'd blinked back the tears of relief that had tried to make it to his eyes. They still had a job to do.
Callen felt some of the tension in his body release when he saw them. Deeks supported Kensi. Callen's heart finally slowed down, close to normal. She was alive. She was walking. That eased his mind a fraction.
As they continued toward Kensi and Deeks out of the corner of his eye he saw Sam glance at him and then back to Kensi. Callen hadn't taken his eyes off Kensi except for the brief moment where he had assured himself that Deeks appeared to be as good as he'd reported.
Callen picked up the pace slightly. He only narrowly refrained from breaking into a run. When they finally reached Kensi and Deeks, Sam gave Kensi careful hug. Callen watched from the side.
"You good Deeks?" Callen asked, eyes still on Kensi.
"I'm good," Deeks replied.
Sam let go of Kensi but guided her to Callen, away from Deeks. Sam turned and put his hand on Deeks back and ushered him away.
"But-" Deeks protested
"Deeks, just give him a minute," Sam said.
Deeks tried to turn around. The hand on his back making it difficult.
"You did great," Sam added. That stopped Deeks turning. He looked at Sam.
"You think so?"
"I know so," Sam nodded. "You got her out. That's what partners do."
When Deeks started to turn again Sam said, "Has Kensi told you about Dom?"
"Her previous partner? The one who died?"
"Yeah." There was a brief pause before Sam added. "He was abducted."
"Abducted?"
"They had him for months before we finally found him."
Deeks didn't say anything so Sam continued. "We were so close to getting him out but there was a shootout. Dom stepped in front of a shower of bullets to save one of us."
"Oh hell," Deeks said. "I'm sorry. Was it to save her?"
"No ... Me."
It was a few moments before Deeks spoke again. "So Callen needs to know she's okay."
"Yeah. From her. Can you imagine what's been going through his head given that was the result of the last time one of us was taken?"
"Nope," Deeks admitted.
"They'll be here in a minute, then we finish this."
At stadium pt 2:
Callen pulled Kensi into a hug. They stood like that for a minute. She held him tight and he felt her tremble just a little. He had no idea what say to her. There were so many things he'd felt over the last few hours.
"I love you," Kensi whispered.
"Love you too."
They pulled back a little and he rested his forehead against hers and they both took some calming breaths together.
"You okay?" he asked.
"Am now."
Callen lifted his head and smiled at her. Kensi could still see some pain and fear in his eyes so the smile was unexpected.
"You've got your own story now."
"What?"
"How you learned to trust Deeks. You did say you didn't want either of you to take a bullet for each other."
Kensi laughed softly. It felt so good to be able to do that again. "Almost getting blown up together certainly makes for a good story."
"That 'almost' makes a good basis for trust."
Kensi nodded.
"Why weren't you the one to come and get me?" she asked.
"I needed to be with Sam. We needed to trust Deeks."
Kensi studied him a moment. "You spoke with Alex."
"James tell you that?"
"No, just that if you were out of line, she'd be there."
Callen chuckled. "You know me well. I was ready to come get you myself. She told me to think with my head and make sure I put together the best team possible to get you.
It worked." He kissed her tenderly. "I was terrified," he admitted.
"You're not the only one."
"I didn't want to leave your rescue in anyone's hands but mine."
"You trusted him. It worked out."
"We all trusted him with you. Just like you did."
Kensi nodded.
"Let's go finish this. There's more to do before I take you home and never let you leave the house again."
Kensi smiled. "As long as you don't leave either, I'm good with that."
They walked side by side together, one arm around each other, all the way to Sam and Deeks. He didn't remove his arm. He really didn't care what anyone thought at the moment. It wasn't just that his girl was safe. One of his team had almost died, make that two, and right now, he felt she needed this. And being perfectly honest with himself, so did he.
Post episode
Callen looked across at Kensi, seated in the passenger seat of his car. They'd made Hetty safe from Matthias, at least he hoped they had scared him enough to do so. It was finally over and he was taking them home. Kensi's eyes were closed. He took a left when he should've taken a right but she didn't notice. It wasn't until he stopped the car and turned off the engine that she opened her eyes. She glanced out the window and frowned.
"Why are we here?" She looked across at him.
"You said we'd know when the time was right. If we can't trust Deeks after today we never will."
Kensi smiled. "You're right. Let's do this."
Kensi held Callen's hand all the way to Deeks' door. Callen knocked.
"Wow, you're early," Deeks' voice said just before he opened the door. A look of surprise crossed Deeks' face when he saw them. "Not expecting you two."
"Who were you expecting? A visit from a special lady friend?" Callen asked with a grin.
"Nah, not tonight. Got Chinese food coming." Deeks stepped back and ushered them in.
"What brings you two to my door after the day we've had?"
"Callen and I, we…" Kensi trailed off. She wasn't quite sure how to phrase it. Did she jump straight in and tell him or build it up slowly.
Deeks took care of that for them. "You're dating."
"What? You knew?" Kensi was confused.
Deeks shrugged. "It was a suspicion. Little things. It was that or you were secretly brother and sister, but that was pretty unlikely. Then you rock up here holding hands." He pointed to their hands that were still linked. "Plus Sam keeping me from the two of you today was a bit odd, though the big guy did play it well."
"What little things?" Callen asked.
"How long your eyes stayed on her versus Nell. Little touches as you brush past each other. Your car being at Kensi's a couple of times when I've swung by to check on her."
"Okay, so obviously we weren't quite as discrete as we thought," Kensi replied.
"You were, I'm just observant. How long?"
"Bit over eighteen months," Callen answered.
Deeks' eyes went wide. "That long? Wow. You two are good. I thought it was just a month or so. When that Tracey chick rocked up. Something seemed a little odd about the way Kensi was looking at her. Then I started noticing the little things."
Deeks yawned.
"Deeks," Callen said. "We've kept it from everyone outside the team. It's complicated."
"I'm always up for a good and complicated story." Deeks yawned again. "But maybe not tonight. My dinner's about to arrive and my bed is calling - pity it's not someone in it." he said with a typical Deeks grin. The grin slipped away. "Though why tell me now?"
"Because you saved her," Callen replied as he put his arm around Kensi's shoulders and pulled her close to him.
There was a knock on the door
"Just doing my job," Deeks replied and moved toward the door.
"No Deeks," Callen said with a shake of his head. "You were being her partner. Knowing she can trust you, knowing I can trust you to be there for her, it's a big thing. You've earned our trust with this."
Deeks nodded. They said goodnight and left Deeks to his dinner, though Callen did manage to pick up the tab and pay the delivery guy before Deeks could get his wallet out. Callen nodded at Deeks and Deeks accepted the gesture without protest. They headed to Callen's car and he took Kensi home. He wasn't planning on letting her out of his sight for a couple of days.