"Kurt, I don't think I want you to finish that sentence." Blaine looked at him and saw something that wavered between anger and…fear?
"When will I be enough?"
"You are enough, Kurt. I don't know what happened, but can we talk about it before you say something that you can't take back?"
"I was humiliated. I sat there between Finn and Puck while they told me that I was only there because of you. Because you thought that I should spend some time with them because…."
"Like I said, sweetie…I was just trying to remedy something that you had concerns about. That's it. Honestly, I missed you. I wanted you here with me."
Kurt sat down on their couch and crossed his arms, looking up at Blaine. "I missed you too. I mean, I love Finn, and Noah is…well, Noah…but I just wanted to be with you. I know it sounds obsessive, but you're the only one I want to be with."
Blaine sat down next to him, taking his hand in his. "I think what we have here, Kurt, is a classic case of pre-wedding jitters. Now come on…talk. What's this really about?"
Kurt turned his head from him, and Blaine grabbed his chin and pulled it back. "Talk."
"I don't think I can change, Blaine."
"Who said that you should change? I love you, exactly the way you are. Kurt, to me, you are perfect. Why can't you believe me when I say that? I'm right where I want to be. With you."
"I'm always going to sound different. And walk different. And dress different. And…"
"And…you will always be you. And that's who I love."
"I love you too. I just can't bear the thought of being less than what you deserve, Blaine. I look at you, and I see this gorgeous guy who has no flaws and…"
"Whoa…ok, hold it right there. No flaws? I think you need to open your eyes a little more. You know how I pull my shirts off without unbuttoning them? I know it irritates you, because I hear you grumbling when you do the laundry."
"Yes…it's maddening."
"And how I never close the kitchen cabinets?"
Kurt nodded. "One of us is going to lose an eye like that."
"And how I roll up my jeans sometimes if they're too long, just because I'm too lazy to get them hemmed."
"You look like Huckleberry Finn when you do that. I'm just saying…"
"So you see, my beautiful Kurt, this guy here is far from perfect. Would it help to tell you that I'm suffering from a case of the jitters too? I mean, here I am, getting ready to marry the man of my dreams. And all that keeps going through my head is, can I make him happy? Can I give him everything he needs?"
"You already do."
"Obviously not, if you still have doubts about how I feel about you…about us."
Kurt put his head on Blaine's shoulder and sighed. "I love the sound of the word us."
"Ok…tonight is our night. No visitors. If they knock, we don't answer. No phones. No texting. No wedding plans. Just you and I. Sound good?"
"It sounds great, Blaine. Thank you."
He turned on the couch to face Kurt. "I want to make love to you all night".
Kurt's eyes widened and he smiled at Blaine. "Make love with me, you mean."
"No. Not tonight. I want to spend tonight making love to the man who makes my heart stop just by looking at him."
Kurt's face began to flush, and Blaine took his hand and pulled him up from the couch. "Come on, beautiful." They walked into their bedroom, and Blaine kissed him…softly at first, and then just a bit harder, loving the taste of Kurt's lips on his. This would be his night. All night.
Blaine started to unbutton Kurt's shirt, and when he finally got to the last one, he looked into those amazing blue eyes…the ones that made him melt inside. He slid the shirt from Kurt's shoulders, and let it drop to the floor. He pressed his mouth across Kurt's bare shoulders, one, then the other, and then his neck. Kurt leaned his head back and closed his eyes. The kisses were light, like a feather brushing against his skin. He let out a soft moan, and Blaine stood back, looking at him.
"You, my darling Kurt, are amazing. I love looking at you. Your face…that body…"
Kurt barely spoke above a whisper. "I love you, Blaine."
"I know you do. And I love you. Only you. All of you."
He reached down to undo Kurt's belt, and slid it through the loops in his pants, one by one. He could have just left the belt in place, but he enjoyed teasing Kurt just a little bit.
"How would you feel about a nice, warm, relaxing shower?"
Kurt wasn't sure what was happening to him. He felt…butterflies…as if this was the first time that Blaine was touching him. They have shared everything between them in the physical sense, and yet somehow this felt different. He looked down, and Blaine again lifted his face towards him.
"Kurt Hummel, are you being shy with me?"
Kurt shook his head, and when Blaine took his hand to lead him towards the shower, he followed willingly. As Blaine started the shower, Kurt looked at his reflection in the mirror. He just didn't see it, all of these things that Blaine saw in him.
When the heat began to rise from the flowing water, Blaine pulled the curtain back, and helped Kurt step inside. "I'll be right back, sweetie" He walked into the kitchen and began looking for some candles. He found a few of varying sizes, and brought them into their bedroom. After lighting them, he closed the blinds and pulled the comforter down, fluffing their pillows. He wanted everything tonight to go perfectly. He hesitated only for a moment—this was not how he thought disagreements should be resolved—but he felt as if he had been perhaps not as demonstrative as he should be with Kurt about how passionate he is about him. They had been so busy lately with wedding plans that they were forgetting to take the time out to just appreciate each other.
Knocking on the bathroom door, Blaine pushed it open, and as he undressed, he took his finger and drew a heart in the steam that had gathered on the mirror. Placing a large "K & B" in the middle, it reminded him of the mirror from the guesthouse. It seemed like so long ago.
Blaine pulled the shower curtain back, expecting Kurt to be standing there, under the stream of water. Instead, he was sitting down, with his back against the wall of the tub.
"Baby, what's wrong?" He readjusted the shower head so that the water wasn't hitting Kurt directly. "What's happening?"
"Blaine, I'm so scared." He was shaking, but Blaine couldn't figure out if it was from fear or the cold porcelain against Kurt's back. "I don't know if I can do this." He saw tears starting to well up, and Blaine knelt down in front of him, the surface hard on his knees.
"Don't know if you can do what, Kurt?"
"I don't know if I can make you happy forever. What if I let you down? What if after 30 years you decide that you've made a mistake? I don't think I could take it. I want to be everything to you, and I'm so scared that I won't be."
"Hold that thought, ok?" Blaine reached over and turned the water off, and then pushed the curtain back to grab one of the towels that he had laid out for them. He stood up, and then put his hand out for Kurt. Helping him up, he wrapped the towel around him, rubbing his skin with it to warm him up. He put his arms around Kurt, and just held him.
Kurt spoke into Blaine's chest so that it was barely audible. "I love you so much that it almost hurts."
They stepped out of the shower, and Blaine grabbed a towel for himself, drying off quickly so that he could pay attention to his partner. He dried Kurt's hair, and walked him over to their bed, patting the mattress so that Kurt would slide into his spot to the left of Blaine. He was still shaking, and Blaine pulled the comforter up to this chin.
"I'm getting the bed wet." Kurt slid the comforter down as if to get out, but Blaine pulled it back up.
"It only water, Kurt. It's ok." He slid in beside him, and Kurt immediately pressed against him, wrapping his arm around his waist. "Now, talk to me. What's going on in that head of yours?" Blaine pulled him in closer, his mouth against his ear. "You can tell me anything, you know that, right?"
"I know. But I don't want you to think I'm having second thoughts, because I'm not, Blaine. I promise. I just am so afraid of…". Kurt stopped talking, and Blaine slid down so that they were almost nose-to-nose.
"Look at me. I will never hurt you. And I will never leave you. Ever. I know that I can say anything and make any promise I want right now, but I need you to believe me, with all your heart, that what I'm saying is true. I don't care how old we get, or how hard things may be…at the end of every night, and the beginning of every day, I will be right here next to you."
"I think I'm afraid of me, Blaine. My dad said that I need to stop running from you when things get hard. And I know I need to do that. I'm afraid of me. Of messing this up. I want to be strong. I just don't know how." With that statement, Kurt began to cry because he knew it was the truth. He would rather run from Blaine than ever see a look of disappointment in those eyes.
"Are you kidding me? Kurt, you are the strongest person I know. Look at everything you went through at school…when I had my accident you were my rock…when Burt had his heart attack, who took care of him? You're stronger than you think."
"I want to be strong. And I love you so much, Blaine. I don't want to ever have you look at me and say to yourself, what on earth was I thinking?"
Kurt closed his eyes as the tears fell, and Blaine gently kissed each eyelid, the salt of his tears stinging his lips. And then he moved lower, pressing his mouth against Kurt's, his hand moving up to his face. Kurt's eyes looked deep into his as his thumb brushed the teardrops from his cheek.
"Let me love you, Kurt…tonight, let me show you…" His sentence went unfinished as he moved Kurt onto his back and began kissing along the side of his neck, his hand pressed against his chest. "Tonight, my love…it is all about you."
Kurt turned his head towards Blaine, and as their lips touched, Blaine slid his hand down and wrapped his warm fingers around him. His eyes were closed and he let out a sound that told Blaine that it was ok to continue. He moved his hand up and down slowly, feeling Kurt becoming more aroused by not only his touch, but by his tongue, which was pressed against Kurt's.
Their lips parted as Kurt began to breath heavier, his back arching just off of the bed, and Blaine knew that he was almost there. He whispered is his ear "I love you, Kurt", and it was almost as if the sound of him saying his name sent him over the edge, his hand reaching down to hold Blaine's in place.
Kurt was barely able to get out the words "I love you" before Blaine moved on top of him, straddling his waist. Blaine looked down at that face, with his eyes unfocused, his mouth slightly open. How could he not know how sexy he is?
Blaine leaned in and kissed him, first on his lips, and then moving down his chest, brushing his tongue across his nipples, which make Kurt shiver. "How does that feel, Kurt? Do you like that?" Blaine thought that he said yes, and his nodding confirmed it for him. He took each of Kurt's hands in his, and held them as he moved lower…kissing across his waist, and he smiled to himself as he heard a small laugh come from Kurt. The laugh stopped soon enough, as Blaine looked up at Kurt and their eyes locked as he slid his mouth over him, just enough to tease him. Kurt reached down and put his fingers in Blaine's curls, and his hold tightened as Blaine made love to him. For the second time in less than ten minutes, Blaine felt his heart fill as Kurt moaned with pleasure, his name said between breaths.
"You taste so good, Kurt." Blaine wanted to be inside of him. But not yet. He crawled up alongside Kurt, and they lay together, drifting off for a little while until Blaine woke him up by kissing the back of his neck. He wished he could put into words what this night felt like to him. Just the two of them loving each other. It had been a while since they had taken the time to just be together without interruption. And it was what they both needed.
And so their night continued…making love between brief naps, gaining their strength before starting again. Would it always be like this, Blaine wondered? Of course, as they got older, their physical relationship might change. But what he felt for Kurt, what they felt for each other…he knew that it would last a lifetime.
As the sun began to rise, Kurt was lying face down on their bed, blissfully exhausted by the previous hours. But Blaine wasn't finished showing him…not yet.
"Hey, sleepy head. How about that shower now?"
"I don't think I can stand. I don't want to move."
"Ok, then we'll stay right here, and perhaps I can reintroduce you to our lovely headboard."
"We have a long day ahead of us, you know. Karen's dance is today. I don't know how steady I'll be on my legs after last night."
"I think we'll be able to muster up enough strength to handle a room full of children, don't you?" Blaine reached over and pushed Kurt's hair off of his forehead. "I mean, two grown men versus a bunch of kids. I think our odds are pretty good."
"I want to make sure that this Mary Ann character gets the message that it's hands off when it comes to Karen. Honestly, Blaine, what has happened to basic manners?"
"You know, kids mirror what their parents do. Who knows what this girl's home life is like?"
"I guess it would be too much to hope that ignorance would skip a generation."
"Maybe some day, Kurt. We can only hope."
As they dressed for Karen's dance, they talked about the last time they had worn these dress clothes. At their first dance. It seemed fitting to be wearing them again today.
"Let me look at you, Kurt." The burgundy suit that went so well against his skin. The dress shirt that Blaine remembers hanging open that night, as if it was yesterday. "I think that you will be the hottest daddy there."
"You don't look too shabby yourself, Mr. Anderson." Saying his last name out loud reminded Kurt of the conversation he had with Finn about their name once they are married. "So listen…there's something that we haven't talked about. A minor detail really."
Blaine adjusted his tie, looking in the mirror but paying attention to Kurt. "Go on."
"Well, when we're finally married…what last name will we use?"
"Huh. I can't believe this hasn't come up before." Blaine leaned against the door frame, and looked at Kurt. "What are you thinking?"
"I want your name, obviously. It's just that…I don't think I'm ready to let go of Hummel yet. Does that upset you?"
"No. I get it. I mean, your family means the world to you. It's your name. I, on the other hand, would have no problem changing mine. If you want me to."
"Thoughts on hyphens, please?"
"It's fine. I mean, like I said, I have no big desire to hang on to Anderson."
"But it's you. It's who you are right now. And really…your father has come around. It might be nice to keep the name going."
"Blaine Anderson-Hummel. I can deal with that."
"Kurt Hummel-Anderson. Ugh. We'll still have different last names."
"Why not just go with Anderson-Hummel? It sounds great, Kurt."
"Ok. Names settled then?" Kurt felt better. One less thing to worry about.
"Names settled. Oh, I got a text from Rachel. She said the girls have a hot night waiting for us tomorrow. Something about a wedding shower?"
"Hmmm…girls and hot night in the same sentence. Never thought I would see the day."
They walked over to Ellen's apartment to pick up their date. When Blaine picked up the small corsage that he bought for Karen, he also brought home two boutonnières for he and Kurt. As he put it on Kurt's lapel before they walked out the door, so many memories came rushing back of that wilted but still so important to Kurt flower that lay in the drawer of his nightstand. He was sure that this one would find it's way there, too.
After two knocks, the door flew open, and there stood Ellen, looking completely frustrated. "Come in, please. I'm trying to fix her hair, but she's giving me the worst time."
Kurt walked past her and into Karen's room. "What seems to be the problem, little one? You have two very sharply dressed men waiting for you."
"Kurt, I want a braid. Mom isn't doing it right. Can you do it?"
"Sit down. Let me see what I can do." He sat on the edge of her bed, and Karen stood in front of him. "You look really pretty, you know. Just like a princess."
"And you look like a prince. Is Blaine here too? Can I see what he looks like too?"
"Prince Blaine, you are being summoned."
Blaine stepped into the small bedroom and stopped in his tracks. What a picture this made. Kurt's long fingers worked delicately on braiding her hair, while she tapped her hands on his knees, which were on either side of her.
"How are we doing in here? We need to get going soon."
"Just about done. There. A perfect braid. Karen, go get your shoes on while we talk with your Mom for a minute, ok?"
Blaine smiled at the two of them. "You look beautiful. Both of you."
Ellen took several pictures before they left, and during the short drive to Karen's day care, she asked the boys several questions.
"Do you know how to dance, Blaine?"
"Kurt, do I need to wear my shoes the whole time?"
"Will you both dance with me?"
"Don't dance with any other girls, ok?"
"Can we go back for my Hello Kitty purse?"
When they finally arrived, Kurt picked her up out of her booster seat, and they walked towards the entrance. He turned to look at Blaine. "Why am I nervous about this?"
"Because today, you get to be a dad. Another set of training wheels for us, Kurt."
The large meeting room was decorated with rainbow colored balloons, which caused Kurt to chuckle out loud. "They obviously knew we were coming."
Karen grabbed Blaine's hand and pointed. "There she is. That's Mary Ann."
"She's sitting by herself. I wonder where her father is." He felt kind of sorry for her, really. She was sitting alone and looking miserable.
"It really does look nice in here. They did a good job. And it looks like a pretty big turnout."
They mingled amongst the other fathers, finding them, for the most part, friendly. Each parent was given a tag to wear which had the name of their respective child written on it. Of course, some attention was drawn to the fact that Karen had two daddies, but other than a few looks, and some awkward nods, there wasn't much else.
Music played so that the girls could dance with their fathers, some fast, which made Kurt laugh as he watched the lack of coordination that most of the other men had. At one point, he just tilted his head at one father and whispered to Blaine "I certainly hope that whatever is causing that spasm is not genetic."
Karen danced several times with them, each time standing on their feet while they twirled her around. "Kurt has bigger feet than you, Blaine."
"I think you have bigger feet than me, Karen."
"It's ok. They are still great for dancing with me."
Kurt had made his way over to one of the daycare staff, and asked what the story was with Mary Ann. "Her father was here, for about ten minutes, then left after he received a phone call. Said to call him to pick her up when it's over. He does this all the time. Poor kid. I always hold out hope that one day he'll come through for her."
He looked over at her, sitting in her party dress, alone. He knew that feeling, at least before he met Blaine. That sense of not fitting in. It was devastating.
"Young lady, would you like to dance?" He held his hand out, and she looked up at him, nodding. "Then come on, let's get out there. We can't waste that pretty dress that you have on."
Blaine was finishing a spin with Karen when he looked across the room and saw the most wonderful man in the world making the dreams of a lonely child come true. This, he wanted to tell Kurt…this is why he loves him so much. Because of the simple acts of kindness that he does every day without thought.
"Karen, do you see that? Kurt is dancing with Mary Ann. She doesn't look so mean now, does she?"
When the dance finished, Kurt walked over to them holding Mary Ann's hand. She looked at the small wrist corsage that Karen was wearing. "That's really pretty."
Without missing a beat, Kurt knelt down and unpinned his boutonnière, placing it on the corner of Mary Ann's dress. "There. Now you have one, too."
Blaine just stared at his partner in awe. These things, these mementos, meant everything to Kurt. And yet, he sacrificed one of his memories to make one for someone else. For a child.
"Karen, do you want to go with me to get some cake?" Mary Ann was holding out the peace offering. And Karen took it. As they walked towards a table across the room, holding hands, Blaine helped Kurt up off of the floor.
"I love you, Kurt. I don't know how it's possible to love you more every day, but I do."
He dusted off his pants and shrugged his shoulders. "Everyone should have a first dance."
"Do you remember ours?"
Kurt reached out and touched Blaine's arm, the most appropriate gesture considering their surroundings. "I remember everything about that night. It was just the beginning of this story of ours, you know." For a moment, they just looked at each other, and were snapped back into reality by Karen grabbing their hands. "Can we go now? I want to bring some cake to my Mom".
"Of course we can. Did you say goodbye to your friends?"
"I did. And thank you for bringing me to my first dance."
Kurt looked at Blaine and smiled. "You'll find, little one, that the "firsts" are always the ones that you remember forever."
David Anderson waited at the coffee shop for Hannah. He really did enjoy her company, and when she walked into a room, it was like a breath of fresh air coming through. He had only been waiting a few minutes before he looked up and saw her, and a smile immediately crossed his face. She was dressed in what could only be described as bohemian. And it suited her perfectly.
"Hey Daddy-O…what's happening?" She kissed him on the cheek, the flopped down on the chair across from him.
"Daddy-O? What happened to the "You're not my father" speech I got not long ago?"
She passed her hand in front of her face, as if to push that thought away. "Listen, there are worse things in life than having you as a father figure, David."
"Thank you. I think."
"So how are the wedding plans coming? Am I still invited?"
"Of course you are. You're family." He pulled an envelope out of his suit pocket, and handed it to her.
"What's this?" She opened it and smile. "Is this hush money? Am I supposed to keep it a secret that deep down, you're a nice guy?"
"It's so that you can go shopping for something to wear for the reception. You're my guest, and I don't want you laying out money you don't have."
"Now how do you know that I don't have some rich old man keeping me in the lap of luxury?"
He raised an eyebrow. "Do you?"
"No. And don't look at me like that. It could happen. But thank you, for this."
"You're very welcome."
"You do remember that Blaine doesn't even know who I am. Or his mother's role in my life. When are you planning on telling him?"
"After the wedding. I don't want him worrying about things he has no control over. But I'll tell him."
"So, really, David. Are you ok with all of this?"
"Honestly? I don't know. Blaine is happy. Kurt is a good kid. Why fight it?"
"Wow. You have changed with age." She laughed at the look on his face.
"You know, Hannah…my relationship with Blaine has barely been that of two casual acquaintances for as long as I can remember. Now, I'd like to put all of the blame on his mother, and she did have a huge part in driving a wedge between us, but it's been my fault, too. I gave him a good life, but not a father. I want to make that up to him."
"That's really beautiful, David. I mean it. I think being supportive for this is huge. You'll get him back."
"Well, I don't think of it as getting him back. Remember, in a few weeks, he'll be a married man."
"But he'll always be your son. I'm proud of you. You've come a long way, baby."
"So what's the story on your love life? Are the suitors lined up around the corner?"
"Hardly. I don't think they can handle all of this."
"Well, there will be plenty of eligible young men at the reception wanting to punch your dance card."
She shook her head. "Well, considering this isn't the 1930's, I don't think I'll be carrying a dance card. But they can text me."
"Funny. I'm just throwing out there that the boys have a lot of nice friends."
"I'm not interested in those uppity Dalton boys. Most women love a man in uniform. I think I'll pass."
"Kurt has a nice brother. Kind of goofy, but he grows on you."
"Details, please." She made a motion as if she was writing on her napkin.
"Tall, dark, handsome…quarterback at McKinley…"
"Wait. Are we talking about Finn Hudson?"
"Yes, we are. Do you know him?"
She smiled. "I know of him. And he's Kurt's brother?"
"He is."
"I'm thinking, Dad...that this is going to be the best party ever."
