A/N; This chapter refers heavily to Chapters 10 and 19. How does John really feel about Joss and Walker?

Inspired by the quote "Anger and fear are close cousins" and the dulcet tones of Randy Crawford.

As always, enjoy x

Saturday, 8.15am, Joss' apartment

Joss woke up feeling vulnerable, exposed and cracked open; he'd broken a shell and blown apart her notion of taking care of him. She tried to feel around for her phone before a hard tug at her right wrist restricted her movement; she was cuffed to the bar in the middle of the headboard. "John," She called to the man she was lying naked on top of. She didn't remember going to sleep that way.

"You've graduated from stripping me in my sleep to cuffing me in my sleep. What's next?"

"Cuffing you to me in your sleep. But it's not your birthday." He joked, rubbing the back of her neck.

"Maybe just maybe, you're the wounded bird." He whispered in her ear, nibbling on her earlobe. "Maybe you've been waiting for me to bring you in and nurse you back to life." He kissed her from her neck down to her collarbone. "Maybe you don't believe I'm in love with you and that's a shame." He teased her, pulling her hips into position. throwing her words from Ashland back to her.

He played for her, Randy Crawford's You might need somebody, filled their room. She closed her eyes.

"When somebody reaches for your heart, open up and let them through. 'Cause everybody needs someone around, things can tumble down on you. You'll discover when you look around; you don't have to be alone. Just one lover is all you need to know when you're feeling all alone..."

She remembered him; loving her, holding her in the dark, carrying her through the woods, shooting over her shoulder, reaching out for her. The she recalled him hacking her, tracking her, lifting her files off her desk, listening on her conversations, breaking into her safe, and got angry all over again.

"John," She called over the music.

He shook his head. "We're not going anywhere." He ran his hands down her back.

"Where's the key?" She demanded.

"I lost it."

She squinted her eyes. "I could kill you right now."

He smirked. "I look forward to that part. But before then, whether you like me or not, Joss, you're not alone. I'm not letting you shut me out 'cause it's all you know."

"I don't like you at all right now." She said, turning her hand over, imagining a way to break free, or at least to strangle him.

He loved it when she was she angry; she was uninhibited, honest, passionate, sensual, base. When she was angry she didn't hold back or retreat; she wasn't a mystery. She couldn't close herself up like in impenetrable clam. She fired the words freely she usually emitted in a concise, premeditated measure. She forgot all the rules she held so dear. She lived in the moment.

"I'm not a criminal Joss. Although it's your prerogative to treat me like one, considering how we met. Memories." He kissed her forehead. Her eyebrows were forced into a wrinkle, the fire in her eyes burned with indignation. He slipped his hand down and coated his fingers in all of her warm tension, she squirmed. "Take it out on me Joss. Whatever it is. I can take it." She bit the insides of her cheeks in frustration. "I know you. You're angry because you're afraid. What are you afraid of?"

"If there is fire stirring in your heart and you're sure it's wrong and right. Keep it burning through the cold and dark; it can warm your lonely nights. You might need somebody, you might need somebody too..."

"I know you're afraid to need me Joss. But that doesn't stop you needing me, does it?" Her facial expression grew into concern and confusion. "I know what you said to him. You told him you needed someone. You told him you needed me." He relayed, repeating what Shaw had learnt when Mars woke up with a full set of broken fingers and crying out in agony for relief. She had enjoyed questioning the man who had paid the high price of experiencing what she never had.

"John, I'm sorry." She stopped resisting, and rested on his chest. "That's all I can say."

He shook his head. "No, you can say you'll let me take care of you. You'll take a chance and let me in. You'll believe for once a man you love won't leave you or die before you tell him how you feel. Can you do that?" He squeezed her tighter.

She nodded silently.

He kissed her forehead. "Next time, you pick the ring."