AN: Tissue Warning for this chapter and the next. Thanks for the reviews.

Chapter 36: What do I do?

Grissom's heart started pounding and he swallowed as he saw Sara's tear slide down her cheek, then he cleared his throat and said. "Did she...is she..." He closed his eyes and stopped talking, he couldn't ask the question.

Sara removed her left hand from his shoulder to cup his cheek. "She's at the hospital."

He cleared his throat as he opened his eyes again. "What happened?"

"Julia said she had a stroke and slipped into a coma."

He cleared his throat a third time before saying. "I have to...uh...I have to go to the hospital now."

Sara ran her thumb up and down as she nodded. "I know. I'm going to stay here with the kids. I don't think seeing her like that is best right now." He nodded, then she continued after she places her right hand on his other cheek so she is cupping both of them while looking into those sad blue eyes of his. "But if you need me there at any moment, just call me and I'll drop the kids off at Catherine and Nick's the second we are off the phone, ok?" He nodded again as a tear came down his cheek, she wiped it away as he leaned toward her and pecks her on the lips.

When they pulled back, she brings him in a hug and whispered her love to him.

He pulls back a second later, looks into her eyes and said. "I love you too." She gives him a small smile as she released him completely.

He looked at Julia and signed. 'You want me to drop you off at your place?'

Julia rode a cab here because she knew she was in no condition to drive.

She shook her head. 'I would like to go back to the hospital, if it's alright with you?'

'Ok let's go.'

She nodded and started walking to the front door.

Grissom and Sara share one more look before he turned and walked out of the house, shutting the door behind him.

The moment the door clicked shut, Sara's emotions were finally coming out and she had to sit down, so she walked over to the couch, puts her hands together and looked down as she thought of the last 15 minutes.

Flashback

15 minutes ago

When Sara opened the door and saw who it was, she was going to give her a smile, but when she saw the look on her face she dropped the impulse and signed. 'Julia, are you ok? What's wrong?'

Julia sniffled as she wiped her tears away then signed back. 'Is Gil home?'

'Not for another 15 minutes, but if you need to talk I'm here.'

'Yeah I need to tell you something, preferably alone.'

Sara nodded. 'Come in while I tell the kids to go upstairs.'

Julia nodded, and as she walked into the house, Sara told to the kids to go upstairs, which they all stopped with what they were doing and listened to her, because while her tone was polite and calm, they could detect a no-nonsense edge to it.

After Sara shut the door, she turned to Julia and asked. 'You want something to drink?'

'No thank you.'

'Ok, let's go in the dinning room and you can tell me what's wrong.'

Julia nodded, then blindly followed Sara into the dinning room, where she sadly told her the news about her mother-in-law.

End of flashback

When Sara came back to the present, she puts her hands up to her face and started sobbing.

A few minutes later Heidi runs to her mother after coming down the stairs and asked. "Mommy, what's wrong?"

Sara wiped her eyes the best she could before removing them from her face and cupping her daughter's right cheek. "Nothing you need to worry about right now, ok sweetie?"

"Ok mommy, but do you need a hug?"

Sara gives her little girl a smile, the first real one she's had since she found out what happened to her mother-in law, then opened up her arms and replied. "That would be amazing right now."

Heidi smiled as she got into her mother's arms and they hugged each other while in the back of Sara's mind she thinks about her husband and mother-in law.

10 minutes later

When they finally got to the hospital, Julia walked them to the room they put Betty in. They stopped at the closed door, then she looked back at him to make sure he was ready to go in. He looked at her a few seconds later and does a short nod, then Julia took a breath before opening the door.

When Grissom walked in the room first, the Doctor who had been checking the machines that was hooked to Betty Grissom, looked at him and asked. "Who are you two?"

The Doctor was not the same one that Julia saw when Betty was admitted, so he didn't know who either of them was.

Grissom answered. "I'm Betty Grissom's son, Gilbert Grissom."

He nodded and points to Julia. "And she is?"

"A Family Friend."

He was very hesitant, but then nodded and said. "Alright you two can stay." After writing down a little information, he walked up to Grissom, held out his hand and said. "Dr. William Spencer."

The Doctor was in his mid-30's, around the same build and height as Grissom, he had short, black hair and brown eyes.

Grissom shook Dr. Spencer's hand, and after he shook Julia's, Grissom asked. "So what can you tell me about her condition?"

It was hard seeing his mother like that, but he kept it together as the doctor explained what happened.

Grissom nodded after he got the information, then asked. "Is there any indication that she could be coming out of this anytime soon?" He needed all the facts before he could make any type of decision.

Dr. Spencer sighed, looked at the comatose woman and answered. "I wish there was. Every case is different, coma's can range from hours to years."
He looks over at Grissom and continued. "And if she does come out of this, the stroke was so severe that she may not be the same woman you've known your whole life."

Grissom glared at him and asked. "So you want me to just give up on her?"

He shook his head. "No way am I saying that Mr. Grissom, I'm just stating a realistic fact." Grissom nodded, but he still wasn't happy, then the Doctor cleared his throat and said. "I'll give you time alone with her, I'm sure that you need some time to think about your options."

Grissom nodded again. "Yes and thank you."

He nodded, then after saying bye, he walked out of the room.

When the door clicked shut, Grissom took a breath, grabbed the second chair that was in the room, moved it to the right side of the bed, took his mother's hand and just watched her looking so still, which is something he wished he would've never seen because seeing her in this state just wasn't right.

Julia, who had been sitting on the other side of the bed after she was introduced to the Doctor, looked over at Grissom and watched him, then she looked over at Betty again and thought along the same lines as Grissom, seeing her so still and vulnerable just didn't sit right with her either.

As Grissom was watching her, he let a tear fall out of his eye and whispered. "Mom, I don't know what to do here, do I wait? Is it your time to be with dad? I just don't know." He bent his head down as more teams came down his cheek, then a memory came to him.

Flashback

April 2, 2016

8 days ago

Grissom stopped in front of his mother's apartment door, looked down and saw the morning newspaper on the floor mat, so he picked it up before pushing the button to the special doorbell to let her know that somebody was out in the hall.

When the door opened, Betty looked at her son a little surprised. 'Hi honey, what brings you by on a Saturday morning?'

Grissom smiled as he replied. 'I have to go into work to grade papers, but I thought I would see my mom first, is that ok?'

Betty smiled. 'Of course dear, come in.'

Grissom nodded, and as he walked in the apartment, he kisses his mother on the cheek.

After she closed the door, she looked at him as he held up her morning paper, and she signed. 'You can put that on the desk. I was just making some coffee, you want some?' He nodded before they turned to do their respective tasks.

When he got to the desk, and as he was setting the paper down, something caught his eye. He looked to the side to see that his mom was still busy in the kitchen, then he looked back at the item that caught his eye and picked it up. When he heard her putting things on a tray, he turned around and walked to the couch with the item he saw on her desk in his hand, then after she set the tray down on the coffee table, she sat down next to him and he signed. 'Mom what is this?'

She grabbed what he handed to her, then sets it on the coffee table after a quick glance and replied. 'I think you know what it is.'

'Why do you have it?'

She sighed and replied. 'I wanted to make sure I updated it. I don't have much to give the grandchildren but I do have a enough to help a little with their higher education once I'm gone.' He looked at her with concern and Betty smiled as she continued. 'It's a precaution dear.' He nodded as he looked down at his hands, even at his age it was hard to imagine his mother being gone.

As he looked up while mentally shaking his head from those thoughts, he saw her get up from the couch and walk over to the desk with her will in her hands, then she puts it down before she picking up a picture she kept on the corner of her desk.

Grissom got up from the couch, walked up to his mother and saw the picture of his dad, then he puts his hand on her shoulder and just looked at it with her.

After she sets it down she turned to her son and signed. 'I still miss him honey.'

Grissom had seen his mother with a sad face a lot through the years, but something felt different about this one, he just couldn't explain it.

He mentally shakes his head again, then signed. 'I know you do mom.'

'Do you think he's up there waiting for me?'

He gives her a little smile and replied. 'Dad would wait forever for you.'

He may have been young when his father died, but he saw the love between them every single day, and there was no doubt his father was waiting on his true love.

Betty gave her son a nod and another sad look that he couldn't explain before walking back to the couch and sitting down.

He followed her and sat down on the coffee table in front of her and signed. 'Mom you know that you're still needed here right?'

She smiled at her son and replied. 'And I appreciate your words, but you and I both know you haven't needed me for years.'

Grissom shook his head. 'That isn't true, I think in some way I'll always need my mother, besides you still have your grandchildren, especially Beth, she looks up to you so much.'

'Relax dear, I'm not dying today, everything is fine. Like I told you it's just a precaution.'

'You sure?'

'Yes, now drink your coffee before it get's cold.'

He smiled with a smirk and replied. 'Yes Ma'am.' Then he picks up his coffee cup and sits down next to her on the couch.

After they have a few sips, she places her cup down, turns to him and signed. 'Do you resent me?'

Once he placed his cup on the coffee table, he asked. 'Why would I do that?'

'Because of what happened to Beth?'

He shook his head. 'Never mom. We all knew the chances of our children becoming deaf was there, but we didn't care because we thought it was more important to have them than to not. Sara and I don't regret any of them and we never will, so if you've been worried about that after all this time, don't be.
I love them whether they can hear or not, just like how you would have felt if it had happened to me.'

Betty smiled. 'I'll always love you honey, no matter what you do, remember that.'

He smiled at her. 'I will.' He looked at his watch, then looked at her and continued. 'I better go.'

'Alright, I'll walk you to the door.'

He nodded, and after they both got up from the couch, they walked to the door.

When she opened it, he kissed her cheek before stepping out in the hall, then he turned to her and asked. 'want to come by for dinner tomorrow night?'

'I would love too.'

'I'll let Sara know.' She nodded as he speaks again. 'I love you mom, take care of yourself.'

'I love you too honey and the same with you.'

After he nodded, he started walking away as she closed the door, not knowing that his world was going to be rocked 8 days later.

End of Flashback

When he came back to the present, he lifted his head up, looked at her, gave her a small smile and said. "You somehow knew mom, didn't you?" He sighed, stood up from his chair, walked up to the head of the bed, bent down and kissed her forehead.

After he pulls back he looked at Julia and signed. 'I'm going to call Sara, will you stay here with her?' Julia nodded with a small smile before Grissom turned and walked out of the room.

Once he was outside, which the rain had stopped, he called Sara and asked her to come to the hospital.

She told him she would be there right after she dropped off the kids at Catherine and Nick's. After they said their love you's and hung up, he walked back into the hospital and headed to his mother's room to wait on his wife.

20 minutes later

Grissom and Julia were in the same seats, in the same places as before when there was a knock on the door.

He turned to look at the door and said. "Come in." The door opened and he saw it was his wife.

He looked back at his mother, squeezed her hand and said. "I'll be right back." Then he got Julia's attention and signed. 'I'll be right back.' She looked over by the door and saw Sara, then she looked up at Grissom and nodded before looking at Mrs. Grissom again.

Grissom looked at his mother for a few more seconds before walking to his wife, which she was looking at Mrs. Grissom with tears in her eyes.

When he got to Sara, he puts his hand on her shoulder and said. "Why don't we go talk outside." She looked at him and nodded with tears still in her eyes.

He cups her cheek, kissed her forehead, then pulls back before guiding them out of the room.

Once they were outside, and out-of-the-way from the passing people going into the hospital, Sara sniffled before commenting. "It's strange to see her so still or that venerable looking."

Grissom wrapped his arms around her, kissed the top of her head and replied. "I know honey, I know. Come on lets sit down."

She nodded, then she shook her head as she got out of his arms. "Wait! I am the one that should be comforting you, not the other way around."

They stop their feet, then he cups her cheek again before replying. "Just being here with me is my comfort. I am not thinking any less of you right now, in fact I couldn't be prouder for you."

He removes his hand as they walked to the covered bench, then as they sat down, Sara asked. "What do you mean?"

They turns so they were looking at each other and he answered. "Julia told me how nice you were when she came over to the house to tell you."

"Well I wasn't going to turn my back on her, especially when she looked so devastated."

Sara closed her eyes and Grissom brings her in his arms and just holds her as a few tears fell out of their eyes.

After a few minutes he sniffled, sighed, then said. "I think mom knew her time was coming."

She pulls back from his arms, looked at him and asked. "How do you know?"

"When I went to her apartment last Saturday I didn't tell you she had her will out. She told me that she was updating it, you know making sure the grandchildren were taken care of." Sara was about to talk when Grissom talked again before she could start. "I know what you're going to say, it was just a precaution. That's what she said too, but Sara." He looked at his wife and continued. "Now that I think about it, the way she was looking at me while talking about how much she still missed dad it felt off...it felt like she was telling me something without saying the words." His eyes filled up with tears as he finished. "It was like she was ready to see dad again, and that if it was her time, she was ready."

She cups his cheek, wipes his tears away and asked. "Does that mean what I think it means?"

He sighed, shook his head, removes her hand off his cheek and spoke as he stands up. "I don't know! Was I just imagining how she felt? Was I reading something that wasn't there?"

Sara stands up, walks up to her husband, cups his cheek again and asked. "What does your heart tell you?"

He looked to the right, where the entrance to hospital was and saw doctors, nurses and other people walking in and out of the building, then he looked back at his wife with more tears in his eyes and replied. "A part of me, the selfish part I admit, wants to wait it out no matter how many years it might take. Even if the chances of her waking up again and being like she use to be are very slim." He sniffled and she wipes a tear away as he continued. "But the other part of me wants to let her go and let her be with dad again, she's missed him so much through the years." He closes his eyes and starts to sob again as she wraps her arms around his neck and brings him to her and just holds him, not caring who is around watching them, her husband needed her and that's just what she was going to do.

After a few minutes he stops, clears his throat, pulls back from her arms and said. "Look at me, I'm almost 60 years old and I'm crying like I am in my teens." Then he looked down a little ashamed.

She shook her head, lifts his chin up, cups his cheeks with both hands, wiped his tears away and spoke while looking into his eyes. "It doesn't matter how old either of you are, you're still mother and son. For a long time you felt like she was the only person you could count on and I know how much you love her. Plus she's still a major part in your life, so you cry all you want, you're not getting any judgments from me, just my love and support to help you through this difficult time."

"Thank you Sara."

She shook her head again, wiped the remaining tears away, then replied. "No need to thank me, we are together for better or worse right?" He nodded with a small smile, then he took her hand and walked them back to the bench.

After they sat down he looked down at the ground for a few minutes and she just held his hand waiting for him to speak again.

He looked at her a few seconds later and spoke after a sigh. "I do know one thing above anything else, she would not want to waste her life in that bed and allow her family to waste their life away waiting. She just wouldn't tolerate it."

Sara didn't doubt that, and she couldn't help but mentally smile while thinking that if Betty's spirit was here right now she could imagine her 'yelling' at her son to not waste away waiting.

She mentally shook her head and squeezed his hand. "Lets wait it out." He was about to open his mouth, but she continued before he could talk. "You've just gotten a major shock and now is not the time to make quick decisions, so just for a little bit wait it out. Then if you feel that enough time has passed and she hasn't shown any improvement than that's when you need to make the decision to say goodbye."

He nodded in understanding, then he sighed again, before looking at her and speaking with honesty and openly with more tears in his eyes. "Sara, I don't think I'll ever be ready to say goodbye."

Sara does a small sigh as she took her hand out of his and brings him closer to her, then as he lays his head on her shoulder, she whispered. "I know baby, I know."

She kissed his head and just held him, giving him all the comfort she could. Yeah she was hurting too, but it was nowhere near the pain she knew her husband was going through.

AN: Please review.