This is going to be my standard opening from now on. There may be some interesting news added at a later date, that will come directly after this line however so that you can skip anything you're not interested in reading!

~~~ I am SO so so sorry!! I know I promised I wouldn't take so long agian... _* So, here's the deal. New Beta reader Eowyn77 is awesome and has been helping me a lot with these most recent chapters. It takes a little extra time but I think it's so very worth it! Also, my week was...special...to say the least. I got to find out exactly what it's like to be dipped in liquid hard candy...ouch. So my right hand is a little on the side of malfunctioning at this time, but it's not so bad. ^_^; My daughter (8months) has decided that the world is hers and she will have it come Hell or high waters and that has been a little distracting (I'm sure you can imagine!) And then put on top of that the Holiday season...The good news is that I have 2 more chapters already in the first stage of Beta and should not be too long to follow.

Okay, my long list of excuses is over!

***Important*** To me anyway. There is a poll up on my main page. If you would all be so kind as to go put in your opinions I would appreciate it A LOT! I'm struggling with a particular story arc and I want to know what people would like to see...well, without giving away the plot that is! It involves Barricade and Prowl. NOT AS A PARING! It's not that I have an issue with these kinds of parings, it's just not what I'm doing at this point. ^_^; So please, put in your two cents! (literally...you can pick two choices.)

ON to the fic!

A forever thank you and credit for her ideas goes out to Litahatchee and her fic Night Fire. Go read it. It is WONDERFUL and she has permitted me to use some of her ideas in this story.

The term Carrying Hold and the act of carrying the way it is used here both came from the story 'Night Fire' and belong to Litahatchee. If you want to know more about it, read 'Night Fire.' DO NOT USE THESE IDEAS WITHOUT HER PERMISSION!! Please and thank you very much. I am using these ideas with her permission. She's had people 'borrow' her ideas before and use them in ways that...well, to say they were not nice is an understatement. One of those particular stories has been removed. So, as an author myself, I ask that if you like this idea and have any desire at all to use it, then you will need to ask Litahatchee first. Thank you.

Also a forever thank you to FORD B. my beta reader. You make writing easy! And welcome to my new beta reader Eowyn77 from Botosphere! My writing can only improve from this point. ^_~

Any further notes shall be posted at the end of the fic. Enjoi!

Standing on the sidewalk in front of my apartment complex, I stared shamelessly at what lay before me. This was my parking lot. It looked exactly like all the others in this area, nothing special...except for the perfectly bizarre array of vehicles parked there.

Clutching my laptop case tightly to my chest I tentatively set out into the sea of strange, almost alien,machines. My mind perked at certain ones, they somehow seemed more familiar then the rest...as if any of them could feel familiar. They felt...safer then the others, oddly friendly to me. It was almost as if I should know them from somewhere: The yellow Camaro with black racing stripes off to one side, looking as if it were prepared to bolt out of the lot at any given moment. The black TopKick sitting boldly front and center, gleaming in the sunlight. The Rescue Hummer parked the wrong way through three parking spaces at an odd angle as though it had been rushed in and left as it had come to rest. The little Solstice casually resting in a spot under the shade of one of the large trees that loomed near the edge of the lot. The custom Peterbilt in the center of it all. There were others, a lot of others, but the one I was looking for was parked on the far side of the lot; the silver Stingray concept.

As I weaved through the insane row upon insane row of odd of odd vehicles my eyes picked out something that did not belong; as if any of this had belonged. Just at the edge of my building where I couldn't have seen it until I was well into the lot sat a F-22 Raptor. Phantom pain shot through my whole body at the mere sight of that plane, vague memories of screaming, begging, stabbing, cackling...

"I can't do this!" I screamed as my heart jumped into my throat. I didn't know why that particular model of airship scared me so badly at the moment, or why it was even there, but I knew that if I got too close to it certain doom would be short to follow. Instead of following that insistent tugging feeling, begging me to move on toward the Stingray, I turned and ran back into my building where I was safe. I batted at the feeling in my chest both mentally and physically demanding that it stop. I wasn't going to go near any of those machines!

Back in the safety of my apartment I gasped for air trying to sooth my pounding heart. Why was I so scared? My mind spun over the last few moments...had I left my apartment? Yes, but...what had just happened?

"Ratchet, you have to let me in!" Sideswipe shouted from the other side of the locked doors. The medic had forbade anyone from entry and when Sideswipe had come demanding entrance he had locked him out. "Slag it Hatchet! She's pulling away! LET ME IN!"

Shortly a rather haggard looking Ratchet stood before Sideswipe, glaring him down. "What is it you think you can do, Sideswipe?" The medic spoke softly, calmly, completely belying the fierce look on his face. He understood that Sideswipe was worried for Aurian and that his bond with her was causing him further distress. He even worried that maybe whatever Aurian was suffering would begin to affect the mech as well, but right now he had other priorities. "She's stable for now but she's still in danger. I can't have you in my way should her condition turn suddenly."

"I'll stay out of your way!" Unsure of whether he'd rather continue his stare down with the medic or push past him to try and reach the woman he was so concerned about, Sideswipe shuffled from one foot to the other. "Please, Ratchet...she's pulling away."

Ratchet considered the implications, a deep frown coming over his face. In Cybertronian connections pulling away was a protective action, trying to save the other in the bond from their suffering. Aurian was undeniably suffering so that was an acceptable explanation, however Sideswipe's concern seemed to indicate something far darker than simply trying to prevent shared pain. That was to put aside the notion that a human, who knew little to nothing about bonds, knew how to shield such things from a mech who had a lifetime of experience with them. "What do you mean?" He finally asked.

Sideswipe was unsure exactly how to explain it to the medic. He'd never really felt anything like it and only recognized it as the sickening sensation of someone trying to deny a bond. "It's like she's fading." He thought over the sensation carefully, "Like she's slowly disappearing."

Alarm instantly grew in Ratchet. "Is she responding to you?"

Fists clenching nervously Sideswipe tried to focus on the question. "Yes and no." He was really growing more nervous by the klik. He had heard Aurian's cry of fear clearly through their bond but she wouldn't answer his questions. "She was talking to me through internal messaging mostly. She doesn't seem to be responding to our bond most of the time."

Shuttering his optics Ratchet thought long and hard about what it all meant. Ironhide had claimed to have received a response to a burst message he had sent out reflexively, as many of their kind did in stressful situations, yet no one else had received any such response. If she was sending burst messages - how would a human send a burst message anyway? - to Sideswipe instead of communicating through their bond, that was indicative of something far more dangerous than what they already knew to be wrong with her. In Cybertronians burst messages were a last ditch effort when a spark was too weak to reach out through a bond. What would that mean of the human who had no spark? "Alright, but if you get in my way I'm removing all of your limbs."

Ratchet almost could not move out of the way fast enough as Sideswipe pushed into the med bay, rushing past Barricade, who was still gamely clinging to life, already calling to the woman loudly. "Aurian! I'm here! Just like I promised, I'm here!" Sideswipe reached out to the woman slowly, hands shaking. ::Aurian, please talk to me.:: He begged.

"Well?" What did Ratchet expect anyway? Some miraculous event to suddenly snap the woman from the coma she had fallen to? Unlikely.

His whole frame screaming with apprehension Sideswipe leaned over the berth, searching, hoping for something from the woman. "She's afraid. That's all I can sense...just fear." He felt so helpless to do anything for her.

::Slag it Sides, what's your fraggin problem now?:: After so long searching the far reaches of space Sunstreaker had found himself want for a long recharge, however his brothers fluctuating emotions kept dragging him from the much needed rest.

::Sorry, Sunny...:: His response was almost sarcastic, he really did feel sorry for disturbing Sunstreaker's rest but his twin's tone sat uneasily upon his processor.

::Frag. It's that human again isn't it?:: Sideswipe didn't answer, ::Let it go already! It's not like it's gonna live much longer anyway. Have you even seen the lifespans of these humans?:: Sunstreaker was never known for his tact, nor his sparkfelt feelings for others, however he usually tamed his harsher thoughts for his brother's sake. He instantly knew he had gone too far, ::Sides...::

::I won't let her go Sunny. You know that.:: Sideswipe struggled in agony with his bond between his brother and himself. His spark was so maddeningly overcharged with manic energy at having his brother finally near again that he wanted to explode with his relief and joy. However his twin's disdain for humans, Aurian in particular, was straining their connection leaving Sideswipe to suffer the repercussions as physically as if someone were cutting into his very sparkchamber with a burning plasma blade.

Ratchet continued to monitor the goings on carefully. At this time there was nothing more he could do for the woman but to watch her condition and hope that it improved. What came as somewhat of a surprise to him was that it was; "Sideswipe, talk to her some more!"

"Why?" Ratchet's tone made him instantly suspicious.

"Just do it."

With a sigh Sideswipe focused his attention back to the limp form his hands ghosted over, afraid to touch. "Aurian? I'm here like I promised. Come back." He spoke softly, not entirely comfortable pouring out his spark with someone witness to his weakness. "I'm sorry. For everything, okay? You have to come back to me so I can make it all up to you."

As Ratchet excitedly watched the monitors he saw things turning for the better with every word Sideswipe spoke. "She's responding. Keep going!" In the hours...or was it days?...that they had been back at base with the damaged woman there had been more decline than improvement in the woman's condition.

"You hear me don't you?" Hope pulsed through him at Ratchet's proclamation. Aurian did not respond but the fact that Ratchet reported progress was enough for him at the moment. "You don't have to say anything, just stay with me, okay?"

Sunstreaker stood at a point where the land gave way to water. This planet was...something else. He had been to hundreds of others, thousands even. There was almost always one common factor among those that he had seen, they were dead. They were ugly chunks of space debris that spun aimlessly trapped in orbit around some sun. Nothing all that impressive. Yes there had been a few with something worthwhile to offer him; some life forms, some vegetation, even some with large expanses of water similar to this one. Yet with what he had seen of this one so far, which was not much at all, it was more fascinating than any he had seen before. Not that he would ever admit that to anyone. There was a certain beauty about this ball of mud. Its regions ranged from frozen, barren wastelands to hot, rich clusters of life.

Honestly he didn't hate it here. Actually he'd finally felt somewhat at ease when he had arrived. There was a sense of...completion about it. Now he knew it was because Sideswipe was on this planet and his spark could feel whole again. Yet there had been that human.

::Sideswipe?:: He called out for nearly the tenth time in the past few breems. He hadn't really meant what he said about human life spans...well, he had but he hadn't meant it to hurt his brother. It was a simple fact. Humans only lived for maybe a hundred of their years, just a little over a vorn. How could Sideswipe be so attached to something whose life was so fleeting? ::Stop ignoring me.::

::I'm not ignoring you.:: came back a weary reply. It had been quite some time since Sunstreaker had put his proverbial foot in his mouth with his twin and he had not seen anything of the other since then. He had stubbornly ignored the fact that his brother was otherwise occupied until just a few joors ago when he had discovered that the other mech was practically residing in the med bay.

::Then what do you call it? I've been trying to contact you forever!:: A statement that was more truth then exaggeration after their long separation. Sunstreaker was frustrated that, despite their long separation, they still remained so detached from each other.

::I'm sorry. I don't mean to.::

Sunstreaker could just feel the tiredness rolling through their bond. His twin was exhausted in every way possible and Sunstreaker could feel it. On top of that he kept getting residual from the human through his brother's bond also, sensations of fear, abandonment and confusion. ::Why don't you catch a few hours of recharge Sides? You're beat.::

::I can't, I promised I would be here.::

::Be there? Slag it Sides, you hate the med bay!::

::I'd do it for you.::

Sunstreaker felt physically struck by the admission. It wasn't that he didn't believe what his twin said; it was because he knew it was true. There were only a few things in life that could keep Sideswipe in the med bay and very few of them kept him there willingly. ::This isn't healthy at all.:: He stated grouchily. ::Why hasn't Ratchet kicked you out yet?::

::Because she needs me.::

::What?!:: Again he was stunned by his brother's words.

There was a sensation of something close to a sigh that transferred through their bond. Honestly Sunstreaker was disturbed that Sideswipe wasn't communicating through their bond as they almost always did. Only on occasions that one or the other was too spark weary had they ever abandoned their bond communications for the use of other methods. ::She's very weak Sunny, she needs my help. You know how that works.::

::Between us, yes! Even between sparkmates I get the theory but how can you...::

::You can feel the bond, she's connected to me...to us. What makes you think it wouldn't work?::

::She's not Cybertronian!::

::I'm aware of that.::

Sunstreaker could feel an odd sensation flow through their bond. ::Sides...:: the question he wanted to ask died instantly. He didn't want to know. ::What if I come sit with her for a while? Will you go recharge?::

There was a long pause, ::You would do that?::

::I'd do it for you.::

"This is ridiculous."

"You don't really believe that or you wouldn't be here."

"I'm here," Sunstreaker indicated the room with a wide gesture, "because I don't have a choice."

"You are not restricted to the med bay." Ratchet spared the annoyed mech a glance before returning to his work. "Just Sideswipe."

"Why?" He demanded. He had been demanding the same thing over and over again and got the same response every time.

"Because Aurian needs him." Ratchet repeated yet again.

"She doesn't need him. She needs her processor checked. That human is a few bearings short if you ask me."

"Sunstreaker," Ratchet finally abandoned his task to look at the mech, "You felt Aurian just the same as Sideswipe. She needs support and Sideswipe is willing to provide it. Perhaps if you were willing to..."

"No slagging way!" Sunstreaker reeled back, disgusted by what Ratchet was about to suggest, "There is no way that I'm going to willingly let that thing feed on my spark!"

"Feed on your spark?" Ratchet was amused, to say the least. "Humans do not feed on sparks, Sunstreaker. All you have to do is talk to her."

"I said I'd sit with her, that's as far as I go."

"Then Sideswipe must remain in the med bay with her." Ratchet glanced to where Sideswipe lay in deep recharge. He was concerned for the young warrior mech; caring for the woman had obviously drained him more completely then a rowdy night of high grade and plasma grenades. "She needs the connection."

Sunstreaker was at a loss. He couldn't even fathom how all this was possible, and beyond that, the fact that his twin seemed so accepting of it all was furthering his confusion. "I don't understand it." He stated flatly, "These humans don't have sparks, how can they bond?"

"A good question that we've only got a tentative theory on at this point." Ratchet sighed, "Humans are empathetic creatures, some more-so then others. I would have to venture to say that the bond between Sideswipe and Aurian is possible because of that, mostly."

"Mostly?" Sunstreaker could see the sorrow on the medic's face as clearly as if it were spelled out for him to read. "The 'Cons did something to her?"

The sorrow instantly shifted to anger and disgust, "Oh, they did things to her. Though I can't be sure what effects Scalpel's 'experiments' had on her."

"Because a bond isn't clear enough?" Sunstreaker snapped.

"The bond was there before the Decepticons got a hold of her. Or, at least it was forming."

Sunstreaker felt a tug on his bond with his brother. Turning he could see that Sideswipe was still deep in recharge but he looked troubled. He felt out the bond with his brother only to find that the human's own had become twisted into his twin's. She was pulling on his energy even in his recharge. "This has got to stop!" He snarled as he stormed over to where the human lay. "You're more trouble then you're worth!" He growled at her, instantly regretting his tone as he felt panic shoot through his bond with Sideswipe.

"Sunstreaker!" Ratchet scolded. The monitors attached to the woman were beginning to show decline in her current state, "That isn't going to help anyone!"

With a deep sigh he reluctantly reopened the connection he had with the woman and found...nothing. "I can't feel her." The mech stated shortly.

"She's weak Sunstreaker. Just talk nicely to her."

'What is your problem?'

Aurian glared at the words in a new window on her laptop. This one was just as persistent as the other had been, refusing to give way to other windows that still popped up continually. 'Who are you?' She typed. Whomever it was sending this message was someone she wasn't so sure she wanted to talk to.

'What does that matter, human?'

Human? 'Go away.' Definitely didn't want to talk to this person. In a separate window, the one she had been talking with the encouraging person, she typed out, 'when are you coming back?'

The person on the other end of this window had said he was going to rest for a little bit but that he wasn't going far and would be there if she needed him. She didn't need him but she wanted him.

After the fiasco of trying to leave her apartment he had been nothing but kind to her, talking her through her fears and her pain, telling her that she could take as much time as she needed but she would have to come back eventually. Even though she didn't know what he was talking about she took comfort in his words.

New text popped up in the second window. 'I can't.' Despite the sheer lack of emotions in the type she could just feel the frustration flowing from this new person. 'I promised I'd sit here with you until Sideswipe was done recharging.'

She stared at the words. Sideswipe? A feeling of warmth and comfort filled her with the name. She had known that name, had spoken it even. Yes, she wanted Sideswipe to be there with her. A feeling of guilt nudged into her warm feelings for the...person? 'Is he okay?' She typed out nervously. Something told her that he was suffering because of her.

'He'll be better whenever you decide to come back to the world of the living.'

'What?'

'He's wearing himself out trying to help you. You should really get your aft in gear.'

Aurian sensed the tugging feeling again, only this time it wasn't the gentle pull from before. It felt different and, while it wasn't painful, it wasn't gentle either.

'Come on.'

Again...poll...two cents...please?