This here is going to be a three-parter and not only that this is the 35th story in the fanfiction. Not only that there will be Naked Gun Parody Opening Sequences for each of the parters. Naked Gun is a hilarious film series that was spawn from a TV show if you don't know what it is, very great movie series. I got the idea after seeing the intro sequence of the movies and a whole live-action, graffiti-korean, Christmas, and the Treehouse of Horror opening sequence. After these sequences, I will go back with the bill board, intro, chalkboard, and couch gags.
Naked Gun Version Opening Sequence 1: A first-person view of a police car flies in the sky. It lands on the ground as it heads towards Jimbo and Kearney at the Jebediah Springfield. It rans over the two and crashes to the statue causing it's head to fall off, but is still driving as it heads to a ramp.
This causes it to fly in the flyand destroy through a billboard and crashes through the Springfield Elementary School Window where Bart spots it and stops writing, "I will not laugh at dead Celebrities. I will not laugh at dead Celebrities".The car continues to drive as Bart gets his skateboard and gets away from it to the hallways. It's as if the car is now chasing Bart Simpson through the hallways. Bart runs past Willie, Edna, and Skinner while the car just runs over them as if it was unstoppable and it still continues to chase Bart as the two now exit the building and in a playground where many children try to run away from the crazy car.
Bart who is now in the town has past by Sideshow Bob, Helen Lovejoy, Apu, , Disco Stu, Crazy Cat Lady, Rich Texan, and Wiggum who all either jump out of the way or get ran over by the police car. The police car continues to chase Bart as he makes it into his house and shuts the door, but the police car crashes through the door and into the TV room where The Simpsons are altogether at the couch as they have been tipped over by the police car. It than backs up and destroys the TV that says, "FOX!".
Story 35 Synopsis: Homer is worried that Moe and Marge has something going on... which later leads to worst problems. Maybe even more.
It was a beautiful morning in old Springfield, at the Simpsons house. Marge was cooking up three meals for breakfast in the kitchen. Not for the kids as two of them, Bart and Lisa, already ate and entered the kitchen to get their prepared lunch boxes.
"Here you go kids." Marge smiled, giving the two youngsters plastic lunch boxes. One with a sandwich of bologna and cheese and the other one with a celery stick of peanut butter and raisins.
"Thanks mom!" Bart and Lisa said at the same time as they received there lunch boxes for the school day.
As the two left, Homer came into the entrance of the kitchen from a bad sleep, smelly, and unorganized... well, he wasn't unorganized or organized because he wasn't even wearing clothes but underwear.
"Uh.. Hello Margo." Homer said.
"It's Marge." Marge corrected Homer, setting his three meal breakfast on the table.
"No, I meant Margo. Margo the rat on top of your hair." Homer pointed at a grey crooked rat on top of his wife's tall blue hair.
"AHH!" Marge screamed trying to get the rat off her hair, but it was stuck.
"Eh.. Can't I have one day with no noise!" Homer yelled as he swiped the rat from her hair.
"Whew.. I wonder how that rat got there?" Marge wondered.
"How would I know. I got to go to work." Homer said.
"But you're not dressed for work and you haven't had your meal."
"I just did." Homer ate the rat from his hand.
"Ew.."
"Yeah, yeah. I'll dress myself in the car. I'm going to work now." Homer said, still not in a good mood as he picked up a set of clothes for the day.
"Okay, but can you..."
"Bye!" Homer left not hearing what Marge had to say.
She sighed for a moment and then decided to go get "The Springfield Times" newspaper that is probably waiting in front of the door.
As Marge went towards the door and opened it by the knob, she saw Moe about to grab her newspaper on the door mat and then he looked straight at her.
"Uh.. this is awkward.." Moe said.
"Are you trying to steal my newspaper Moe?" Marge asked as she looked at Moe with the newspaper in his hand.
"Uh.. I was just.. going to give you the newspapers.. damn it.."
"What was that?"
"Uh.. nothing." Moe worried. "Hey, you look a little beaten from life. Maybe I could just have a talk with a friend for some time."
"Talk with me? Why?"
"No reason."
"Oh well.. Come in Moe." Marge sighed, thinking that her day is going to become worst and that she may have to take a bottle of wine for some time.
Homer entered his workplace wearing his usual clothing at the Nuclear Power Plant as he was talking over what happened in the morning with Lenny and Carl.
"I can't get to work because she keeps on nagging me, wants me to chow a three-meal breakfast when I'm late, and dress appropriately, whatever that means." Homer complained this problem over to Lenny and Carl.
"That can't be true." Carl questioned.
"Yeah, since when do you give up a three-meal breakfast?" Lenny asked.
"Whatever. At least I got here on time." Homer replied.
"Uh. Homer. It's actually time to go to home." Carl pointed at the clock that said, "3:59".
"Than what the heck am I working in this crap hold."
"Homer. You just said you wanted to be on time for work." Lenny reminded the man.
"I never said I liked it."
"Eh, that's good enough for me."
Homer parked his car at the garage of his house and stepped out of the driver's seat like any working man would. He began to walk his way towards the main entrance of the house and put his hand on the door knob. He opened it and began to walk in and past by a room where he heard two voices and the dog barking.
"Hi Homer." Marge smiled as she was glad to see her husband comeback.
"Hi ya there Homer." Another voice was spoken.
"Hi Marge. Hi Moe. Hi Santa's Little Helper.." Homer said until he just realized something. "Wait a minute?... Since when do we have a dog?... Oh, and that Moe is here. Wait a minute.. Moe, shouldn't you run around crazy and cause panic at the hippie fest?"
"At first I was going to.. uh.. but I handed the newspaper to Marge, but than a little later we started to have some friend to friend talk. That's all. Nothing a biggie." Moe said.
"So there's nothing between you two?" Homer stared at Moe with a serious look.
"Yep." He replied.
"Oh. That's good enough for old Homer. Wait a minute. Why did you wanted to hand her the newspaper?"
"I.. uh.. felt like it.." Moe hesitated for a little while.
"Okay... Wait a minute. Why did you hesitated for some time?"
"No reason."
"Oh, okay than... Wait a minute. Someone still hasn't told me when did we had a dog." Homer said with a serious look again.
"Your always like this... You can at least ask how my day was." Marge asked, wanting something at least one good thing from Homer.
"How was your day Honey?" Homer listened to Marge's words.
"Well you see it was actually a good da..."
"Yeah, yeah. Going to watch TV now." Homer headed to the TV room as Marge looked at him angry for not listening.
She went back to talking to Moe as Homer began to lazily watch TV on the couch.
"You know how some people say that eating pigs are bad for all religions including Christianity?" Marge said.
"Yeah but.. Hold on a minute. I got a phone call here." Moe picked up his cell phone.
He dialed a number in there and suddenly a voice sprung up from the phone.
"Hello. Is this Hoot Y. Er?" A child's voice was heard.
"Hoot Y. Er. Yeah, wait a minute." Moe said. "Hey Marge? Do you know a Hoot Y Er. A Hootyer. It's a hooter of some sort. Wait a minute."
Moe suddenly realize who it is.
"If I find you little punk, I swear I will tear your eyes out, feed them to you so you can see what your insides are going to look like in the next thirty seconds you little punk!"
"Oh dear." Marge said as Moe turned off his cellphone and grunted that this child can stop bugging him.
"Sorry. It's this kid who sends me prank phone calls all the time."
"You're not actually going to rip the child's eye balls out."
"Nah. I just do that to scare him so he won't come back... which I've done for now four or five years now... and he's still doing it!... Maybe I should rip his eyes out... worked with the last guy who joked around that I won a million dollars..."
It was the next day of work and Homer was sleeping, snoring, and sitting in his chair at Sector G-7, goofing off during his work time. As Homer was sleeping, Mr. Burns and Smither's entered Homer's workplace seeing him being lazy and whispering, "Your so sexy. Yes you are sexy little roast duck. I could just eat you up."
"That is gross." Mr. Burns disgusted of what Homer said. "Smither's. The hot sauce please."
"Yes sir." Smither's held a bottle of hot sauce and poured it into Homer's mouth.
"Roast duck is so.. spicy.." Homer slept until he woke up immediately. "Wait a minute? Spicy Hot Sauce! I ordered the sweet kind! AHH! IT BURNS!"
"Settle down. Here's your paycheck." Mr. Burns held Homer's paycheck sealed in an envelope.
Homer took the envelope, opened it, and saw his payday but disappointed.
"This paycheck is very low sir." Homer not looking very happy.
"It's low because you keep on goofing off Mr. Yaltzirhower!" Mr. Burns yelled at him.
"Wait a minute. Mr. Yaltzirhower works below this floor. I'm Homer Simpson. Why can't you remember my name?" Homer said.
"Simpson? Oh sorry... than this is your real paycheck." Mr. Burns handed the real paycheck to Homer and took back Yaltzirhower's.
"What the? This is even lower than the one you just gave me!" Homer yelled.
"I've had an extra boost in memory from my last brain surgery! I now remember how much you goof off Mr.. What's your name?"
"Simpson." Homer sighed and answered in sorrow.
"Yes. Mr. Simpson. You'll be getting low paychecks for the rest of your life working here until you can prove you don't goof off, Safety Inspector!" Mr. Burns yelled and than grinned and laughed at him.
"Oh.. why?" Homer whined.
"Now get back to work you unlovable oaf." Mr. Burns ordered the fat man.
Mr. Burns and Smither's turned around as they were about to leave only to see Lenny and Carl in front of them.
"What are you staring at you mumbling defiant morons. Get back to work!" Mr. Burns yelled at the two.
Mr. Burns and Smither's left as Carl and Lenny went to Homer.
"Man. I wish someone could just punch him right in the face." Carl said with an angry look.
"Yeah, well what are you going to do?" A calm Lenny spoke.
"A low paycheck? Oh well... at least Marge is happy back at home." said Homer.
"Wait? Happy? Why?" Carl asked.
"Oh. She's been chatting with Moe a lot about her problems, life, and other things."
Suddenly Carl and Lenny looked at each other and then at Homer with an unpleasant expression to their faces. Homer looked at the two thinking that something bad might have gone wrong.
"What? Is.. Is there something wrong?" Homer shuddered with worry.
"Homer. I don't know how to put this, but..."
Suddenly an employee of the Nuclear Power Plant walked by and said, "Wife Problems, eh? Had that too you know."
"Will you get out of here Yaltzirhower! Man, you can be annoying sometimes." Lenny said angrily.
"Fine. Fine." Mr. Yaltzirhower walked away.
Homer realized what Lenny and Carl meant and he stared at them with more worry.
"You don't think Marge is in love with another man, do you?"
Homer came rushing through the house looking for evidence to see if Moe and Marge had a thing going on. He rushed through the kitchen, the living room, the basement, attic, TV room, dining room, bathroom, even the kids room but found nothing until he looked in one more place. The Master Bedroom of the house itself.
"Please. Please God that there's nothing going on between them." Homer thought to himself with pressure as he began to sweat nervously hoping that what he thought was wrong.
He just stood there the next minute seeing underwear on the bed. It wasn't his as his underwear was three times or possibly four times the size of this. Even worst, it had Moe's name on it and not only that... there was a bra on the floor near the bed.
Homer felt different emotions in his head. Sorrow, fear, worry, but the most common in men... anger.
"Damn you Moe." Homer waved his fist as he left the room.
He entered the hallway of the second floor seeing Bart passing by, whistling.
"What's up Homey old boy?" Bart asked.
"I'm not in a good. Mood. Today." Homer spoke in a way that may have seem slight or high anger in his thick skull of his.
As Homer left, Bart entered the master bed room seeing Moe's underwear.
"There it is. The underwear made of sandpaper in the insides that I'm going to put in Moe's closet tomorrow. It's not even Moe's underwear but looks exactly like his in almost every way. Even has his name on it." Bart laughed expecting hilarious results. "What's Mom's clothes doing on the floor? Must've left it there days ago when Homer says that he and Mom are, 'expressing love', whatever that meant. She must've forgot to put it in the laundry due to talking to Moe in the past days."
"Cleaning. Cleaning, cleaning, cleaning. Cleaning. Cleaning the bar, oh yes yes. Cleaning the bar. Cleaning. Clean..." Moe sang as he was cleaning his bar with an old rag, as his friends and several other people were drinking... that is until Homer came bursting in with anger.
"MOE! I would like to have a 'talk' with you." Homer said as Lenny and Carl were looking at each other knowing what this meant. "My wife had an affair.. with you!"
"What? What the heck are you talking about? Why would she go with someone ugly that works at a bartender, like me?" Moe said.
"Hey. People say I'm ugly, bald, and fat but Marge doesn't care when she married to me." Homer said.
"Uh.. she fell in love with you when you had hair, still handsome, and was thin. Now your an ugly oaf barging in here and scaring my customers. Here have a beer. It's on the house." Moe said.
"No way Moe. This is personal."
"Wait? You don't want a free beer? Something really must be up. Look, Homer. I swear I didn't do anything to your wife of yours. I just wanted to have a talk with someone kind and nice that I wouldn't stab right in the eye." Moe replied.
"You think I'll believe that?" A furious Homer shouted at Moe.
Homer grabbed a glass bottle and hit it right on the counter turning that bottle made for drinking into a sharp weapon, but Moe quickly pulled out his shotgun aiming at him first as a warning.
"Look, Homer. Your my friend and everything but if you dare try to pull that broken bottle to my face again! I will have no choice but to shoot!" Moe yelled.
"Jesus, this is starting into one of those more dangerous bar fights with loud arguments." Lenny whispered to Carl.
The angry Homer stared at Moe who was also angry for being accused of something he didn't do. Homer lowered his weapon and spoke.
"Fine, Moe. Have it your way, but you will regret what you did. I will have payback and I'm taking this duff bottle with me!"
"Fine. I said it's on the house so be it." Moe lowered his weapon.
Homer left the bar with a beer bottle in his hand as Moe began to clean the mess on the floor that Homer caused here in the bar.
"Man, Homer seemed serious after you knocked up his wife." Lenny said as Carl and the other customers stared at Moe picking up the glass on the floor.
"I didn't knock.. wait a minute.. do you know something about why Homer just barged into my bar like some Russian Madman Grand Duke of some maniacal throne?"
"Uh.. maybe.." A worried Carl retorted.
"I say, always comparing it to the Russians. Blame the Russians. It was the Russians. You Americans did bad things to you know!" A Drunken Russian Madman Grand Duke said as he laid his forehead on the counter.
"Who let that guy in here?" Barney burped.
"Oh, he just bursted into the bar like any Russian would." Carl said. "Hey? Is he breathing? Oh Jesus..."
It was just one of those days that Homer didn't felt being alive, especially drunk in the dark parts of Springfield. The man was so drunk that he carried a switchblade with him for protection especially when the dark parts were filled with criminals.
"Stupid Moe.. stupid Marge.. what do they think they know.. think they can keep their little affair from me.. there damn wrong!.." The drunken crazy Homer spoke to himself. "If Marge really loves Moe why not they live together?, huh! HUH! Stupid love. No right to be!.. They can just all go to hell!.. Oh, why did I say that! Please God, don't kill Moe or Marge. I didn't mean it!... Huh? What do you want?"
The Drunken Homer stood before Police Chief Wiggum and his two well-known men in the police force, Lou and Eddie.
"You look drunk, Simpson. How about I take you in peacefully and.."
"Stay back!" Homer drunkenly pulled out his switchblade.
"Oh god. He's so drunk he doesn't know he's using a switch blade!" Clancy Wiggum and his men stepped back from the insane man.
"Stay back, or I'll use this switch blade to carve Christmas toys out of you, Santa Claus!"
"Okay.. He knows that he's using a switch blade but he thinks I'm Santa Claus."
Suddenly Homer looked elsewhere and said, "AH! The Grinch who stole Christmas!", seeing Mr. Burns looking like the Grinch, and Smither's in a dog costume with one antler. As Homer was distracted by his hallucination, the police quickly tackled him before he could make a move.
Homer was in jail for threatening a police cop. Later, Eddie came to his prison cell and said, "Homer, you got yourself a visitor. She paid up the fee. You can go home, Simpson."
Eddie left the prison as Homer still had the alcoholic smell in his mouth.
"What home..." Homer looked down to the ground.
"Homie? Is that you?" A familiar voice was heard.
"It's you Marge? Isn't it?"
"Yes, and I'm here to take you home. I was so worried. The police say you could've actually died from alcohol poisoning. You drink a great amount of alcohol because..." Marge was cut off by Homer.
"... because I was under a lot of stress..."
"Stress? What do you mean?"
"Don't ask me that question! I saw Moe's underwear and your bra at the bed! You had an affair!" Homer yelled violently with rage once again.
"What! I had no affair!" Marge yelled in a serious and true manner. "Your my love and not just because we 'you know' in bed, but because we share a special bond and not just any bond, but a strong one that can't be broken by anyone or anything! Please Homer! Listen!"
"I don't know who to talk to..." Homer looked elsewhere as he stood up downhearted, depressed, gloomy, whatever you may call it but he was not sure if this special bond would last forever. "I'm going to spend a night at a motel to think this over..."
This was not a good day for Homer Simpson...
Homer Simpson, the once jolly fat man was now just a lonely despondent man who walked towards a motel that had a sign on top with glowing words that said, "Sleep Eazy Motel". However not all the words were glowing which made it look like "Sleazy Motel". Homer already has gotten the keys to his room which was on the first floor.
"Humph.. why.." Homer stood in front of his door.
"Why, what? You need a hand?" A women in an outrageous and strange dress appeared in front of him.
"Hey. Aren't you that women who went with Mayor Quimby to that strange hotel for some kind of business." Homer asked.
"Uh.. yes.. 'business'..." The women waved her eyes back and forth.
"What do you want?"
"Just to spend a little time with a man.. especially with a big boy like you.."
"Look lady. I'm not interested in sex with another woman. Especially one that involves paid in cash. I've got too many problems of my own." Homer sighed.
"Oh come on. It'll be just a quick second."
"I said..." Homer hesitated for a moment as he then looked at the lights of Springfield where Marge lived. She kept on thinking about her minute and can't get these thoughts out of his thick mind. Especially when it comes to Moe Syzlak.
"So? You on?"
"Come in..." Homer simply answered, but he still had anger and sadness in his thoughts.
The Homer and the hooker entered the motel room as a certain person saw this whole scene.
"Oh my god! What the hell is happening here!" Moe said in surprised. "Wait a minute? Why am I here again? Oh yeah."
Moe entered his motel room that looked like a normal sleazy and dusty room like the others except with one difference. There was two gang members opening large crates of the "extinct" dodo bird.
"Hurry! People are going to pay big bucks just to see these extinct bird's alive. Come on before the cops come!" Moe snapped.
Homer sat on his bed still depressed, but he still didn't cheat on his wife, as the hooker was combing her hair.
"Marriage problems, eh?" The woman asked.
"Huh? Yeah? How do you know?"
"Happened to me before I got divorced. Now I'm living on the streets. Are you going to get this over with or what?"
"Uh.. you know, this may seem strange asking from a hooker and all... but do you have any advice on marriage?" Homer asked, feeling strange that he has to ask advice from this women, especially a stranger.
"Advice? I just got divorced, but sure whatever if you pay me double."
Meanwhile at home, Marge was cooking dinner for the kids as suddenly the door bell rang. She came to the door bell from the kitchen and opened it revealing Moe at the door but he looked like he was in a hurry as he was gasping for air.
"Marge. You're never going to believe what I saw." Moe said.
Several minutes later in the living room, Moe explained what he saw at Sleepy Eazy Motel.
"And that's what I saw." Moe explained everything.
"But he wouldn't cheat on me. I never cheated on him." Marge said.
"Oh.. well, you see.. Homer thinks that you.. um.. cheated him and had an affair with me because of his two friends Lenny and Carl."
"That's silly... even though that might actually explain why he was drinking from stress..." Marge said to herself. "Oh my.. he wouldn't.. would he?.. Wait a minute.. what were you doing at Sleep Eazy motel in the first place?"
"Uh.. nothing.." Moe replied worried and nervous.
Suddenly the sound of dodo birds were heard outside.
"What was that?"
"Uh.. that was me! Macaw! Macaw! See?" Moe became even more nervous.
Homer stepped out of the motel along with the hooker as it was nighttime.
"That's great advice. Never knew a hooker like you could have so much information. I even feel more better that I didn't do intercourse with a stranger." Homer smiled.
"Eh, I've been married to three men... all sucked so bad..." The hooker said.
"Anyway, I have a wife to see."
"Your sure you don't want to have a little 'business' if you know what I mean."
"Nah.. that would stir up so many problems.. just like she did with Moe.. in fact, maybe I should look a little further to see if there really was an affair..." Homer said.
Homer Simpson, now a little more happier but still worried that there still might actually be something going on between Marge and Moe. So he decided to check at home to see if everything is alright.
Homer stepped out of his Pink Family Sedan Car and onto the lawn of his house. He hoped that this would end as a happy ending just like his other adventures with his family or just himself last year. He slowly walked to the door and went for the door knob with his hand. He then opened it and saw Bart drinking a juice box and holding an familiar object in his left hand as he just noticed his dad.
"Homer! You came back! Mom said you were on some business trip but I knew it was lie. You never work on business." Bart said.
"Oh, but why do you have Moe's underwear in your left hand?" Homer disgusted.
"What, you mean these? These are actually underwear I bought from the store. I going to disguise it as Moe's underwear but with sandpaper within. He's going to have a sore day tomorrow." Bart laughed.
"Whew! For a second there, I thought Marge was having intercourse with Moe." Homer said to himself.
"What's intercourse?" Bart asked overhearing Homer's words.
"Uh.. it's um.. an type of expression of love.. yeah but don't bother looking it up.. you'll sit in a corner for the rest of your life looking what it is." Homer said.
"Dad!" Lisa came in to the main room with Maggie in her arms.
"Hello my smart little girl!" Homer petted them on the head. "Hello Maggie!"
"Hello Homer..." Marge stepped into the room worried.
"Uh.. Kids, go watch TV. Me and your mother need to have a talk about what happened between us." Homer sighed in a nervous-like voice.
"Sure thing dad!" Lisa said as she, Bart, and Maggie ran to the TV room.
"So.." Homer spoke, not knowing what to say to his wife.
"Homer.. did you cheated on me?" Marge worried.
"No. I did paid this prostitute at first because I thought you cheated on me but.."
"You paid some Hooker! For what!" Marge yelled at Homer with a serious tone.
"What? Well... yeah at first it seemed like I wanted it because of the stress driving me mad, but then it turned out to be a talk about marriage issues." Homer said.
"So your saying you didn't cheated on me but you got advice from some hooker! That sounds hard to believe Homer! That's got to be a lie!" Marge, angry, yelled at her husband.
"But it's true! I never had sex with her. I just wanted advice to be a better husband and..."
"But you just said at first, you wanted intercourse so you can wear off the stress! You wanted it until it turned out to be a talk about marriage problems! It may not be cheating but I don't know if I can trust you Homer! That's one of the things marriage is there for! Trust!" Marge said from an angry voice to a voice of tears.
"Your saying that..."
"I don't know if I can trust you. We may haven't cheated each other but after hearing what you wanted at first, I just.. just.. don't know anymore.." Marge cried as tears started to drip from her eyes to her chin.
"But.. but.. but you can trust me! This sort of almost-cheating thing has happened before and we got through with it! I can be a better loving husband like last year! This marriage has survived for over ten years!" Homer replied scared and afraid.
"Please, just.. just get out of here."
"But!"
"Get out, Homer!" Marge cried, pointing at the door.
"But I love you Marge." Homer made his final reply.
"How can I love someone who I can't trust and someone who can't trust me. Just leave Homer..."
Marge turned her back around as Homer began to leave and looked at the floor with an emotional pain crawling in his bones. Before he stepped out of the door, he turned around again to see Marge's face looking at the ground saddened with one last tear from her eye. Homer stepped outside as that last tear from Marge's eye fell to the ground. He again was lonely.
"Why me?" Homer looked at the stars.
TO BE CONTINUED...
(Extra Scene)
Moe was at his bar minding his own buisness with a bunch of other drunks until a certain phonecall rang. He grabbed it and says, "Who is this?"
"Is there a Bo N. Eer?" A child's voice was heard.
"Hold it let me see. Hey People. I'm looking for a Bo N. Eer? Hey anyone? Do we have a boner here? Anyone. A boner. I'm looking for a boner... Hey Wait a minute!" Moe just realized what he just said as the drunks laughed at him. "It's you again you little squirt! When I find you I swear I will tear out your spleen and put a cows spleen it with ringworms all over it you little squirt!"