DISCLAIMER: See Prologue.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hi, everyone! Sorry about the wait. I had this chapter fully planned out, but somehow, every time I sat down at my computer, I would get really distracted and write maybe fifty words and then go do something else. But I finally finished, thank goodness, and I even added an extra Clace scene at the end, because I know some people have been requesting that – and, better yet, it's from Clary's POV. :)
Also, thank you to all of you who reviewed on the last chapter. It really made me feel a lot better about my writing – and about myself, for that matter – to know you guys like this story. Honestly, there were times where I was almost close to crying because of how sweet you all were. There wasn't anything negative mentioned at all, really and while that's perfectly fine normally, it was a nice change, so thanks for that. :)
REPLIES TO REVIEWS:
JACY14: I'm planning on having Simon and Isabelle come back, but I'm honestly not sure about Magnus and Alec. It's really hard for me to keep developing characters, and with this point in my writing, I'm only bringing in new characters to make the plot work better. At the moment, I don't think any Malec scenes will "fit" with what I have planned.
Anonymous1397: I do have a Clace scene at the end of this chapter, and I hope you like it. And thank you for saying that you thought my characters were realistic. It's something I'm constantly working on and that's one of things I have the most trouble with, so thanks. :)
Luvmusic87: Thank you! I really appreciate it.
Guest: Wow, thank you so much for saying this. Your review was one that I reread when I was feeling down about one of my chapters this week, and I bet I will again if I have to. So thanks. :)
BubblyFanatic: Woah, you read all of this in an hour? You're a fast reader, though my chapters are pretty short, so that could be it, too. And there is definitely a reason, but I won't give that away for a while yet. And, yeah, I love Finn – glad you do, too.
DauntlessShadowhunter479: You know, I never thought about Finn getting consoled by anyone until this review. Maybe I'll put it in a bonus chapter at the end of the story? I wanted to get right to this beach scene, which I hope you like. :)
Missy1234567890: And yes, I have a cute Finline scene planned. You'll find out about it towards the middle of this chapter.
Babykatniss: I will definitely try to recognize my writing ability more. Don't worry about long reviews; I love them. I'm trying to work on my "writing self-esteem", so thanks for your very kind review. :)
Ayunat: Yay, I love new reviewers! I haven't had them kiss yet because I have everything for their kiss planned out, and it involves a lot of stuff with Kristal and Tony and Vanessa that just hasn't been set up yet. It's been planned actually since around Chapter Ten or so. Glad to hear you're liking it!
Likethewordish: Thank you so much! And I will have a Jace and Finn scene, but not until the end of the story, I think – when things are getting pretty serious and dramatic in AGL.
Awesomeness: Thanks so much! That means a lot! :)
ClaceObsessed: I will definitely try to stop worrying about that. It might come up again sometimes, but your review (and everyone else's) is really helping me with everything, so thanks. And I actually love that song – it provided the inspiration for Kristal. At first, I was thinking of making her so nice that no one could hate her, but then I couldn't figure out how her and Finn would break up if she was so nice – and then she'd be too similar to Jacqueline. So then I tried to make her flat-out mean, but that felt too cliché. But that line "You smiled the whole way through it / I guess maybe that's what worse" was the part that made me provide this elaborate backstory that makes her nice sometimes, and not nice the other times. You'll find out why soon, but pay attention to her and her mood swings. :)
Guest: Jealous Finn makes me happy, too. Thank you for all the compliments because that makes me feel a lot better about myself. :) I really appreciate it.
Of bookworms and nerdiness: I made the soccer team, and yeah, it sounds like it's going to be crazy. And thank you!
I hope you enjoy this chapter! It's going to be an actually happy chapter for once, which was kind of a nice change from the usual dramatic stuff.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Usually, when Jacqueline felt self-conscious, it was normally because of something she had done — blushing every few minutes, stumbling over her words, and the like. Sure, it was sometimes about the way she looked, but, more often than not, that didn't really happen as much.
Today, though, after Vanessa had forced her to wear a two-piece bathing suit (one she had never worn, apparently, the price tags still attached) to the beach day trip Clary had agreed to, Jacqueline immediately had felt incredibly nervous about wearing something that showed so much skin. Sure, she was skinny — but too skinny, in all honesty. Her legs and arms were almost twig-like, and while maybe on a model that could look attractive, Jacqueline didn't feel the same way about herself. Besides, with the bathing suit showing her pale stomach and the outlines of her ribs, she felt fragile. Shadowhunters were muscled and athletic. Despite being thin, they could never look like someone that could be knocked over with the slightest touch.
Jacqueline, of course, had worn a light-colored shirt on top of it, much to Vanessa's dismay. She didn't think it was good to be so worried about the way she looked, but didn't lots of teenage girls do that? It wasn't an excuse for it, of course, but Jacqueline was hoping this wasn't some kind of thing she did on her own. In any case, it made her feel a bit better, and, besides — she wasn't going to be swimming anyway, so keeping the t-shirt on the whole day wouldn't be a big deal.
She dug her toes underneath the sand as she stifled a yawn. They'd woken up around seven o'clock or so, and though it would have only taken them an hour or so to get to Jones Beach normally, they had gotten stuck in some traffic and had arrived at the beach by about eight-thirty.
She was a little tired, and while driving had taken a comfortable spot in the farthest back seat of Clary's mini-van and fell asleep within a few minutes. Lizzie and the twins — who had "double-belted" together, which basically meant they shared a seat and a seatbelt, since they didn't have enough seats in the car for everyone — sat in the back with her, and she didn't think either of them would mind if she slept. (Jacqueline was especially grateful in that instance, however, that she didn't snore.)
Vanessa, Eddy, and Finn, taking the middle row, were the only other "Institute kids" coming, as Tony had insisted that Kristal come home with him to visit with their parents for some reason or other. Personally, Jacqueline was just grateful that she wouldn't have to watch Kristal flirt with Finn all the time — or see the way Kristal would, presumably, strut around the beach and feel confident in a bikini.
It was unseasonably warm today — despite the fact that, at least in the New York City and Long Island areas of New York, it would usually start getting a bit cooler in September — so there were actually some lifeguards present at the beach.
Jones Beach was crowded, full of mundanes, but Clary had glamoured all the older kids (along with Jace and herself) so no one without the Sight could see their Runes. That doesn't really affect me, though, Jacqueline thought jealously, thinking of her Runes that didn't work.
Still, they just looked like a big group of kids — along with a tired set of parents — and Jacqueline didn't mind fitting in for once. She had a book from the library with her, and was reading on one of the many towels Clary had packed, like many of the other beachgoers.
Everyone else — besides Jace and Clary, who were standing at the water's edge with Eddy — was swimming in the waves. She could see Lizzie's red hair sticking up as she splashed an amused Finn, who was standing in water that was probably up to his waist, throwing a piece of seaweed at him. Chris and Isaac were doing something with a body board, laying on the cushioned piece of plastic and "riding" the waves onto the sand. Vanessa was doing some graceful swimming out in the deeper water, and she could see her talking to some boy who was around her age — probably flirting with him, Jacqueline thought.
Jacqueline smiled, turning back to her book. She couldn't help but think that this was probably the happiest she'd felt in a long time.
—•—
Finn, from his spot in the shallow ocean waves, could see Jacqueline reading on the shore. She looked content, lost in her thoughts and imagination, and Finn smiled slightly as he glanced over at her. When his mother had told him that neither Tony nor Kristal was coming to the beach today, it had taken great force of will for Finn to resist pumping his fist in the air in happiness.
That would've been a bit of an overreaction, of course, but, then again, he'd been overreacting yesterday in the training room, too. He had to get this... this relationship thing he had with Jacqueline under control, that way he could watch her with Tony and not freak out every five seconds.
It wasn't going to work out if he just stormed out of the room like an idiot again. Just because he was extraordinarily jealous of the way Tony could help Jacqueline hold a bow the correct way — and hold her hands, even for only a brief moment, in his own without her cringing or turning away — it didn't mean that Finn had to act coldly and bitterly whenever he was around the two of them.
He assured himself that Tony and Jacqueline had nothing going on between them, but yet he still thought that, perhaps, if he brushed off the two's relationship as something that wasn't serious, he'd be blindsided if something real did develop eventually.
Lizzie, in Finn's arms, looked up at him curiously, her red pigtails sticking up from the seawater. "Finn, what'cha lookin' at?
He felt himself get drawn back into the real world by the sound of his little sister's voice, immediately feeling embarrassed because, once again, he'd been staring at Jacqueline. Thankfully, she was still looking down at her book and there hadn't been any chance of her seeing him. "Nothing, nothing," Finn muttered, smoothing down Lizzie's hair and tearing his gaze away from Jacqueline.
Lizzie smiled at her brother as he fixed her pigtails and, even though he was facing her, tapped him on the shoulder and then pointed at Jacqueline. "Why doesn't Jacqueline come and swim with us?"
"Not sure, kiddo," Finn said, but he quickly and lightly pushed her arm down. When she looked up at him again in confusion, he added, "You know Mom's told you that pointing is rude."
"Uh-huh," Lizzie said. "But Mommy's not here right now." She paused, grinning mischievously, knowing Finn wouldn't tell on her, but still looked back in Jacqueline's general direction. "Jackie looks pretty from over here, doesn't she?" she said thoughtfully, tapping a finger on her chin.
Finn's eyes widened at his sister's comment, but he couldn't help but sneak a glance over at her anyway. Looking so relaxed on such a peaceful beach, the sun shining on top of her pale hair, Jacqueline did look pretty. But, then again, she always looked pretty to Finn, so it wasn't like it was that much of a surprise.
"Finn? Why aren't you saying anything?" Lizzie tilted her head to the side questioningly. "And why's your face all red? Finn?"
"I… I've got to g-go do something, okay, Liz?" Finn stammered, feeling nervous all of a sudden as he got an idea. He pushed a piece of hair away from his eyes, hoping that his rapid heartbeat would slow down and his blush that Lizzie had pointed out would fade. "You're going to hang out with the twins for a while, sound good?"
She smiled. "Okay!" Like almost everything she said or did, Lizzie was enthusiastic.
Finn hurriedly adjusted her in his arms, and did something in between a swim and a walk as he moved through the water. It was shallow — there was no way his mother was going to let him take his four-year-old sister to a spot where the water was too deep — but the constant crashing of the rushing waves made it a bit harder to hand Lizzie off to Chris.
Still, though it had taken a minute or two for Finn to reach the twins, he couldn't help but smile as he himself started to walk out of the water. As nervous as he might be, he knew exactly what he was going to do next.
—•—
Jacqueline was still entirely lost in her book as she sat on the beach, not even noticing Finn's presence for a minute until he cleared his throat. She tilted her head back to see him, as he was standing up and towering over her, and was surprised.
Aside from the fact that he was shirtless and had water dripping off of him — something that Jacqueline had to not think about so she wouldn't blush, but something of which she was fully aware — he looked incredibly different from the angry boy she had seen in the training room yesterday. His eyes were bright, and he had a nervous smile on his face. "Hey," he said, a little too quickly.
"Um, hi," Jacqueline said, unable to keep the surprise out of her voice.
Finn's voice sounded a bit shaky, though, the words running more closely together as he spoke more quickly, and she couldn't fathom what the reason for that would be. "Why — why aren't you swimming, Jack?"
"Oh, I, um…" She trailed off, shrugging. "I can't exactly… swim."
Finn raised his eyebrows teasingly, the nervous air that had been surrounding almost completely disappearing. "You can't exactly swim?"
Jacqueline laughed, smiling at her hands that were on her lap. "Not at all," she said, correcting herself. "I can barely walk without tripping over my own feet — what makes you think I'd be able to swim?"
He grinned. "Care to test that theory?"
"What are you talking about?" Jacqueline asked, more confused now than ever. The combination of seeing Finn looking almost happy for once, coupled with the strange way he was speaking, left her in a state of bewilderment.
"We're going on a walk," Finn stated, smiling again. (What is up with all this smiling? Jacqueline wondered.) "Ness told me you've never been to the beach, which means that you've obviously never taken a walk on the beach."
"A walk? Finn, there's hundreds of people here. There won't be any room."
"Not necessarily," he replied. "Sure, it's really crowded — but only in the spots that are right near the parking lots. Once you get in between those spots — they call them 'fields' — they don't have lifeguards set up and people can't go swimming there, so there's generally not a lot of people."
"So I guess that means we're going on a walk then, huh?" Jacqueline asked, pretending to sound a little bored.
Finn immediately ran his fingers through his wet hair nervously, stumbling over his words like Jacqueline used to do. "I-I mean if you, um, don't, uh, want to—"
"I'm kidding!" Jacqueline felt a little bad; she'd only been trying to tease him a little, like they usually did. He looked so nervous, though — it was like an alternate universe or something, since normally Jacqueline was the one who stuttered and was teased.
"No, no," he said, sounding a little lost in thought. "It's fine." Finn held out his hand to her, leaning forward a little bit so he could reach her, as she was sitting on the ground. "You want to go now?"
Jacqueline smiled, ignoring the butterflies in her stomach that she got from taking his hand. But this time, it wasn't bad memories of her past and her life in the orphanage that her nervous — it was him. "Yeah, I'm ready."
—•—
Clary smiled as she watched Finn call out some sort of goodbye to her as he took Jacqueline's hand and helped her up. Like any mother would be, she was a little nervous to see Finn go off walking down the beach with Jacqueline alone, but she knew he would be okay. He was sixteen, the same age she had been during the Mortal War, and he knew what he was doing.
What worried her the most, though, was if he got hurt again by another girl. Although Kristal had been pleasant and kind in the beginning of her and Finn's relationship — surprisingly unlike her mother, whom Clary hadn't ever really liked — as time went on, she'd started to act differently. Finn had been telling her about the way she'd been growing more distant, and Kristal had been less and less polite to herself and to Jace as the weeks went by, too. Though Clary liked Jacqueline now, respected her, even, especially with that song she had sung directly to Kristal, she couldn't help but wonder if things were going down that path again.
Clary always tried to think back to her teenage years when she was struggling to be a good parent to Finn. She knew she'd always have to make decisions that he wouldn't agree with and give him curfews and the like, but didn't want to judge Jacqueline based solely on the way Kristal had acted. Despite the fact that the two girls were extraordinarily similar in looks, their personalities and actions were about as different as you could get.
She thought she felt this way because of her mother, Jocelyn. Though Jocelyn had grown to care for Jace, there was a point where whenever she looked at him, she could only see Valentine. It was horrible to think about, and even though Jace had been incredibly anxious when she was first pregnant with Finn — he was afraid he'd turn out to be as cruel of a father as his own — Jace was remarkable with their children, and with Vanessa and his "nephews", Chris and Isaac.
Though he still had glimpses of his sarcastic teenage self that came out every so often, he was different now. He'd changed, although so had she. She wondered if being a parent did that to you.
However, she still smiled, watching Finn and Jacqueline act a little awkwardly and nervously with each other as they walked farther and farther down the beach. "Jace?" she asked.
"Hm?" Jace was holding Eddy in his arms, trying to put sunblock on his fair skin. "I'm a little busy here," he teased.
"Yeah, yeah, I know," Clary said, laughing. "No, it's just… Were we that bad when we were first together?" She gestured to Finn and Jacqueline, and she could see Finn doing that nervous habit of his when he ran his hands through his hair. "Like, that nervous and all? Be honest."
"Oh, yeah, definitely," Jace said, grinning. "But only you — not me. I was perfectly relaxed the entire time. You were the one who was acting like an idiot."
"Oh, really?" Clary rolled her eyes, knowing full well that he was teasing her. Smiling, she kissed her husband lightly on the lips.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: So, was that not an adorable chapter? I thought it was pretty darn cute, even for Finline and Clace. Personally, I think I like Nervous Finn almost as much as I like Jealous Finn. I actually thought I might make the beach thing only this chapter, but it will definitely continue to the next chapter, and maybe even the one after that, I don't know.
By the way, if you get a second, could you favorite / follow this story if you're not already? It's a way of promoting my story, and it will help me out so much. (Only four more followers to 100!) I mean, only do it if you actually really like it and think it's worthy of favoriting / following, not just because I'm asking you. :)
MY FAVORITE QUOTE FROM THIS CHAPTER: "Though Jocelyn had grown to care for Jace, there was a point where whenever she looked at him, she could only see Valentine. It was horrible to think about, and even though Jace had been incredibly anxious when she was first pregnant with Finn — he was afraid he'd turn out to be as cruel of a father as his own — Jace was remarkable with their children, and with Vanessa and his "nephews", Chris and Isaac."
I hope you liked it! School starts for me this week, so I don't know when the next update will be, sorry! Remember to review, and have a great week!
Until next time,
-Mimi