This is a very hurried chapter because I promised Sparks that I would update then I had homework and church class and totally forgot. Sorry Sparks!

This chapter is dedicated to lizz. for pm-ing me about someone copying a part of one of my stories. Thank you so much! You have no idea how thankful I am.

Previously

"I slept in your lap for a week and a half then all of a sudden I'm alone again," I mumbled into his chest. "I miss you. I can't sleep."

"That's hardly good for you," he chided.

"Being away from you isn't good for me either," I yawned. Now, wrapped in his arms, I felt safe, relaxed. I could sleep.

"I'll talk to Carlisle and Albus and see what I can do," he said soothingly. "Now sleep. I'll be right next to you when you wake up."

Edward POV

I couldn't hold back the warm, crooked smile as my little Bella fell asleep in my arms. Subconsciously I began to hum her lullaby. It no longer sounded like the mournful dirge I had unconsciously made it into at her loss. No, it was again the soft sweet melody that she and I loved so dearly. It was what had brought us together when she was a mere child. It was what made her trust me. It was our song.

At the same time, I couldn't help but feel guilt. Guilt for hurting her with the very trust she had so surely given to me even after everything she had been through. Guilt for not having the strength to stay away, to give her the life she deserved. Guilt for what I was. For the monster I was made into. For everyone I had ever killed in this life because of what I was.

"Don't," Bella's angel's voice sighed, sadly. (A.N/ I put sadfully first! Ha ha! I feel retarded.) "Please don't feel guilty Edward. I love you."

My cold dead heart missed a beat at her words. I love you rang in my head over and over again. Bella had not spoken those words, most likely out of fear, since I had confessed my true feelings. She had not said she loved me. To hear her say she loved me, in a dream state, where she had no conscious recognition of what she was saying, was heart stopping.

My entire being felt warm, floating, as if on a cloud.

I pressed my icy lips to her temple. "I love you too angel."

I carried Bella in silence up to the Cullen Wing as she dubbed it. Out of all the students only she was allowed near it. The others steered clear, even feared the hall of vampires as it was known to them. Draco Malfoy, curse the ignorant child, stayed far, far away from me in particular. He had not forgotten my lapse in control during lessons. He brought it upon himself and I made sure he knew that.

The doors swung open to admit me, having being charmed to recognize my family and I. I continued to the couch in the center of the living area. Sitting gently, I stretched my legs out, draping Bella in a comfortable position across my chest.

I kept my arms around her as she slumbered on, occasionally muttering something strange. "Fred put the pigmy puff down," or "Harry leave Ginny's parchment in the stove. The voices say so."

But on the certain occasion where she would murmur my name, her voice filled with love and satisfaction, I could feel my un-beating heart skip a beat.

Bella loved me. There was no doubt about it though I had no idea why. I couldn't fathom how an angel so pure and innocent could find a reason, a justification to love a cruel, murder-some monster, me.

I had so many questions for Bella. I wanted to understand, I needed to know.

I felt like slowly, step by step, I was drawing her out of her cold shell. She was smiling again, her real, true loving smile that she wore, laughing her pure, clean, bell like laugh, blushing her deep rose blush.

But simple words, one step actions, they took that away. She would become cold, withdrawn, not only to me but to my entire family and to her friends.

Of course it had been meant as a joke and to anyone else it would have been funny but to Bella, when George had teased her about not being worthy of hearing the tune he had just come up with, she had lost her angelic glow, her happy smile, her cheery laugh. Her face went flat, becoming emotionless, refusing to cry because to cry was to be weak. She didn't understand that everyone cried, everyone needed to be able to release that. She couldn't hold it in forever but she refused to let it show.

I had recognized his mistake in a flash, being able to see straight through her as always, seeing her eyes well with tears, feeling the hurt burn through her as he repeated the words almost exactly as I had said to her when I had left her. I wrapped her in my arms, whispering comforting words in her ear. My hand smoothed her hair as she remained still and motionless.

I refused to leave her alone that evening, sitting with her in the Gryffindor common room on the floor in front of the fire place. I kept her in my lap, fearing that if I let go, she would disappear or that she would attempt suicide again.

I couldn't bear the thoughts, the imaginings, that my Bella, my perfect, sweet, loving Bella would think for a second that the world would be better off without her. What her aunt and uncle had done to her, it was inexcusable, unforgivable. I would make sure, one day, they would feel my wrath at the pain they had caused her.

Remus still didn't approve of me. He hated that Bella spent every waking moment with me, hated that I came to Bella whenever she was sad, hated that I existed in the same world as his little girl did.

I couldn't blame him for his resentment; I knew I deserved it. What I had done was no better, if not worse than what those vile people she called her relatives had done. If they were not worthy of the human title of people, what was I? What kind of monster hurts an abused child, tells her that she isn't good enough, that they didn't want her? I had done it with the best intentions and with the worst result.

I was the reason my angel had tried to kill herself. I was the reason she second guessed her every move. I was the reason she feared herself, her emotions, her thoughts. I was the cause of the greatest pain she had ever felt. I was a monster in the truest sense. If ever there was a devil, I was him.

But Bella, my Bella, refused to let me say such things. She would give me a look, that look, the one with the large puppy dog eyes full of tears, the pouting lips as if she were about to burst into wild sobs, the drooping look. It was painful just to think of, to picture in my mind's eye. The worst part was that she blamed herself. To her it was my fault that I despised myself. She deluded herself into thinking if she did not exist I would not feel the hatred I had of what I was.

Every moment, every time I even thought about the monster I was, she knew and in an instant I could feel the guilt and sorrow washing off of her. I didn't need a gift like Jasper's to know how she felt.

Suddenly I felt hot with anger. I was hurting my Bella. I wouldn't let that happen every again. I resolved, then and there, to do anything I could within my power and beyond to make Bella happy, to prove to her, that she was the best thing that ever happened to this world, to me.

"I love you with all of my being sweetest Bella," I whispered tenderly, brushing her hair out of her eyes with the gentlest of touches.

Okay so the whole thing was fluff and cheerfulness. I needed a filler chapter. The next will show Edward and Carlisle arguing about something I won't tell you yet and throw Dumbledore in there and you have a fantastic argument. Then it's the first challenge! Don't you want to hear it?

Ten "real" reviews. Remember I won't update until I get them and whoever does will get a preview of the argument chapter. Please humor me and review.

The worlds' biggest thank you to lizz.! If you are reading this, which I'm really not sure if you are, this is to you! Thank you for pm-ing me about what you found. I rectified the problem and it's all better!

Sea