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I am without my computer for the weekend and hate typing on my phone, so if my responses are late in coming that's why. I promise I'm getting your reviews though, and loving them!
also, that is the reason I'm posting early. Enjoy!
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Chapter 37
~X~
Kili had guided Kara back to the longhouse, ushering her inside, but never removing his protective arm from around her shoulders.
"I'm sure Fili feels terrible for his part in all this," Kili was telling the sniffling woman as he guided her up the stairs to the bedchambers. "I told you he gets really stupid whenever Stonehelm comes to visit…and he was thoroughly drunk."
"I respect you for sticking up for your brother, Kili," Kara told him, wiping at her eyes. "But right now, nothing you can say will make me feel any better."
"I know…I just wish it had never happened," Kili said with a deep sigh of regret. "I wouldn't blame you if you never talked to my idiot brother again."
"I…I just wish I knew why he did it!" she wailed, throwing her arms around her former part-owner as the tears sprang up anew. "I…I thought he cared…that he…oh, Kili…I don't know what to think!"
"To tell you the truth…neither do I," he stated sadly, continuing to hold her close as she sobbed. "But come morning, I'm sure you'll find a way to work things out, you'll see. Fili will come crawling back, begging for your forgiveness, but if I were you, I would make him grovel a bit. Really teach him a lesson."
"Teach who a lesson?" came Tauriel's voice from behind them, having just stepped out of the room she shared with Kili. Yet when she saw her friend crying on her husband's shoulder, her eyes instantly narrowed. "What happened?"
Kara, still deeply wounded by Fili's inactivity when she had needed him, shifted from Kili's arms to the now open embrace of Tauriel, the red-haired woman gently patting her back and speaking soothing words. When there seemed to be no end of her sorrow in sight, Kili gestured that they all enter Fili's room and talk things through, the two females not giving a word of argument.
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Fili wandered around the darkened streets for a bit, doing his best to tamp down his anger with himself, as well as sober up a bit. He knew he had to go speak to Kara, to fall at her feet and beg forgiveness, but he just couldn't come up with the right words. He had been out of line…way out of line, and he knew it. Mentally kicking himself for the hundredth time, he tried to figure out why he had acted so foolishly. Stonehelm always brought out the worst in him, the smug man having challenged him since childhood, getting him into trouble more times than not. And now thanks to that clod, he had really messed things up with Kara.
He knew it had been the sight of her on her knees before him that had stunned him into silence…the very idea of her before him in that position having teased at his mind for over a month now. And then…to see her there…it had struck him dumb. Granted, after how he had acted, and allowed Stonehelm to act, the chances of her begging him for anything now were slim to none. He would be fortunate if she even spoke to him, which he wouldn't blame her if she never did again. Oh, why had he been such an idiot?
When he could put off the task no longer, he at last entered the longhouse and headed up the stairs, only to be met by his brother exiting his chambers. When Kili saw him, he stopped, crossed his arms over his chest and leveled him with a stern glare.
"I hope you're here to do some serious groveling, brother," Kili told him. "If not, I would suggest you turn around right now and go sleep by the fire, for I'm not letting you in there otherwise."
"It's my room!" Fili argued, already feeling bad enough as it was, and not wanting to fight with his brother on top of it all.
"No…right now it's Kara's room," Kili corrected. "Whether you deserve to be allowed in is up to her."
"Is that so?" Fili asked, now a bit perturbed. "And who's going to stop me?"
"We both are," Tauriel cut in, stepping out from behind the curtain and standing at her husband's side. "Fili…I don't know you as well as your brother does, but even I believe what you did tonight was not the real you. Drink played a part in it, I'm sure, but Kara is devastated by what you allowed your cousin to do. You broke her trust, and you will need to do a lot to make it right between you. But if you only mean to go in there with an air of anger or defiance, then I agree with Kili…it would be best that you sleep elsewhere."
Now Fili had been cut to the bone, for Tauriel's words were all true. And letting out a sigh, he expelled any bit of pride he still possessed, his shoulders slumping visibly.
"You're right…I was a heel and I freely admit it," he said in a low voice. "Kara deserved better than I gave her, and I will indeed be apologizing."
Kili's smile was instantaneous, and he unfolded his arms, placing a hand on his brother's shoulder.
"That's all I wanted to hear," he stated. "I think it's safe to leave you two alone. Come on, Tauriel…let's go to bed."
His red-haired wife gave no resistance and quickly complied with Kili's suggestion, giving Fili a look of sympathy as they turned and disappeared into their own room.
This left Fili alone, standing outside his chambers, rather unsure how to proceed. He knew he would need to go in…that much was a given, but he worried about what kind of reception he would receive. If his assumptions were correct, the harsh winters here in the north would have nothing on how cold it would be inside that room. Still, he had made his bed, now he must lie in it…if Kara allowed him to, that is.
So taking a deep breath, he entered…noticing that the few candles that had been lit illuminated the figure already under the covers and facing away from him. He doubted that she was truly asleep, yet even after clearing his throat quietly, she didn't move or turn to look at him. This might be harder than he thought.
"Kara…I know you're awake," he began, coming over to sit on his side of the bed. "Will you please hear me out?"
"Oh…now you wish to speak?" she accused, the unmistakable betrayal ripe in her tone.
Fili flinched, he knew he deserved that for having remained silent while Stonehelm had humiliated her.
"I came to say I was sorry," he began again. "That what I allowed to happen was unforgivable. I was wrong." Fili stopped here, hoping he would not need to say more. Yet he was very much mistaken.
"That's it?" Kara asked, rolling over and sitting up as she glared at him. Her eyes were red and swollen, having obviously shed a copious amount of tears over the pain he had caused her. "That's all you have to say?"
"I was drunk!" he said in defense. "I didn't know what I was doing!"
"So…being drunk excuses everything, does it?" she continued harshly.
"It was Stonehelm that started it!" Fili knew that was a pathetic excuse, but that this point he was grasping at straws. That and his head hurt so much it was making it hard to concentrate.
"And yet, you had the power to end it…but you didn't, did you?" Kara was now throwing back the blankets and getting to her feet, wishing to be as far from Fili as possible. "Is this how things will be from now on? Anytime you drink too much, or some idiot relative of yours drops by, you'll suddenly turn on me like a snake? That any form of security I might have felt will be stripped away and I'll be nothing to you but a common slave once more?"
"I have never thought of you like that!" he barked out, insulted by her accusation.
"No? Well, you certainly just treated me like one back there!" she cried, covering her mouth with her hands to keep a sob of pain from escaping. Her whole world was spinning, and her heart hurt as if it had been crushed by a mountain. She had been so happy earlier, her mind made up to make things work with Fili. But now…now she couldn't even stand to look at him! Giving no thought to where she would go, or the fact that she was dressed in only her nightgown, Kara hurried towards the door, only to be stopped by Fili as he grabbed her arm, holding her back.
"Kara…please, listen," he begged, swaying just a bit as he felt his head grow light from standing up so quickly.
"No! They say that actions speak louder than words, and I believe you've already said quite enough tonight!" she accused, ripping her arm from his grasp and pushing on his chest until he stumbled and fell back on the bed, looking up at her with eyes full of hurt and regret. But Kara ignored it, throwing the curtain aside she ran from the room, desperate to get somewhere she could breathe.
"Kara! Wait!" Fili pleaded, rising once again and racing for the doorway. Unfortunately, his steps were still unsteady and apparently his aim was a bit off as well, for instead of making it through the curtained exit, he ran directly into the wooden doorframe. His forehead and nose collided with the solid wood in a loud thump, and that was the last thing Fili remembered as darkness claimed him.
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Kara had raced down the stairs and out the door before she knew what she was doing, the cold air and snow-covered ground not even registering until she was already a hundred yards or so from the longhouse. There she stopped, wrapping her arms around her midsection as she instantly began to shiver. She looked left, and then right, not sure where to go, but knowing that she could not go back inside. Fili had humiliated her, and though he had attempted to apologize…it had been far too little and far too late. Besides, it wasn't as if he was coming after her, telling Kara that she had apparently been completely wrong about his supposed feelings for her.
As her tears continued to stream down her cheeks, she headed for the stables, wishing to be alone so she could cry in private. Pushing open the doors, she stumbled inside, shutting them securely behind her, yet it did little to keep all the cold air out, her body continuing to shiver. Walking over and picking up one of the thick horse blankets, she nestled herself in the pile of hay and did her best to wrap up in it.
So, was this to be her life now? With no hope at all of ever being truly happy? She thought Fili had cared…that he would always protect her, and yet here she was, shivering beneath an itchy blanket in a mound of hay while he was probably sound asleep in his nice warm bed. If Kara had thought he would come after her, take her back inside, and confess his regret and devotion, then she was sadly mistaken. And that's what hurt the most, the fact that she had believed in him…believed that he loved her as much as she loved him.
Apparently she had been a fool, imagining that all the things he had said and done were real, that he truly did care for her. But they had all been lies, fabricated words and deeds to make her believe in him so that she would surrender willingly, thus allowing him to keep his honor by not breaking the promise he'd made on his arm ring.
Oh, what an idiot she had been, and here she'd nearly fallen into his trap, willing to give herself over to him that very night! If Stonehelm hadn't come, she would undoubtedly be in Fili's bed right now, surrendering herself to a man who'd lied and deceived her all along. How could she have been so stupid?
Kara sat there for a long time, not sure what to do. She knew it was not smart to stay where she was, for her toes were already turning numb from the cold, but getting up seemed like such a laborious task. Perhaps she would go to Melind and Bofur and beg them to put her up for the night. But then what? She would more than likely have to return to Fili eventually…after all, he did own her. The very idea now sickened her, and suddenly the full force of what her friend must have gone through with Gier hit her. The idea made her feel cheap and dirty…like nothing.
Kara could feel her eyelids begin to droop, and an odd sensation of warmth washed over her, making her even sleepier than before. Maybe she would just take a little nap first, and then get up and go to Melind's home. She was so tired, and the last thing she wanted was to break down and cry more in front of her friend. After all, there was nothing that could be done about the mess she was in, so why burden others with what she alone must bear. Yes…she would sit here and rest…then she would head out. That, and the heartbreaking knowledge that Fili had betrayed her, was the last thoughts that ran through her mind, just before she drifted off to sleep.
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The following morning at dawn, Thorin, Dis, Kili, and Tauriel stood at the docks, bidding Dain and his company farewell. The Iron Hill's Jarl had not wished to delay their departure a moment longer, already more than ashamed over the actions of his foolish son. He had once more apologized to Thorin, asking him to relay his regrets to Fili as well. They boarded quickly and waved back as the powerful Vikings rowed out to sea, heading north towards the Iron Hills.
"How was Fili this morning?" Thorin questioned, looking over at Kili anxiously.
"I don't know…I haven't spoken to him yet," his dark-haired nephew confessed. "There were no sounds coming from his room, so I just assumed he and Kara made up and were sleeping in." He then got a worried look on his face. "Or at least I hope that's what happened."
"I wouldn't blame her a bit if she had stabbed him in the night after the way I heard he acted!" Dis grumbled. Yes, she loved her sons, but even she was not the kind of mother to put up with them being idiots…especially towards a woman, slave or no.
"Well…go find out if he's still alive and tell him I need to speak with him immediately," Thorin ordered, his sleep having been anything but restful after Fili's threat about renouncing his position as his heir. And while he still hoped that his nephew would change his mind, in the wee hours of the night he had begun to see the truth behind Fili's words. Thorin had not realized the pressures he had been putting on him, and looking back, he couldn't recall any time Fili had balked against an order or showed a moment of defiance.
Granted, the law was what kept him from confessing his love for Kara, the law that forbid him from taking a foreign wife…but wasn't Thorin also the Jarl? Couldn't he alter this law? Fix it so that Fili could not only carry on in his place after him, but also find love and happiness in the process? The people might balk at this, but for the life of him, Thorin didn't care. This was Fili's happiness they were talking about and it shamed him to think that he had been so blind to his nephew's pain. Thus, he was determined to find a way around this outdated law.
"All right…but if I get a boot thrown at my head for disturbing them, I'm telling him it was your idea," Kili groused, heading off towards the longhouse.
"I still can't believe Fili let Stonehelm goad him into such a ridiculous bet!" Dis huffed. "Will that boy never learn?"
"Oh, I think he showed last night that he understood what he had done was wrong," Tauriel said in his defense. "I just hope Kara was willing to listen. She was very hurt over his actions…and she had every right to be. She might be a thrall, but from what I've seen, she is well respected by many in the village, and I personally consider her a dear friend."
"She has come a long way," Dis nodded, realizing just how likable Kara had become to her…once she had overcome her deep seeded prejudice over female thralls in general, due to her past experience. "I hope Fili made things right." Here she gave a slight shiver, wrapping her arms around herself as a cold breeze drifted over the water and surrounded the three of them.
"Where's your cloak, Dis?" Thorin grumbled, noticing his sister was dressed in only her wool dress and a shall. "You know better than to go out with such flimsy protection."
"I was in a hurry and I forgot it," she stated, giving him a stern glare. "I'm also a grown woman, able to take care of myself, thank you very much. Stop babying me." She then turned to Tauriel, giving her a kind smile. "Would you please go back and get a start on breakfast? I have a quick errand to run, and then I'll be back to help you. I would rather not force Kara up so soon, especially after her having such a hard night."
"Agreed, she probably needs the rest," Tauriel nodded, the two women heading off, both in different directions.
This left Thorin standing alone on the docks, staring out over the water. His mind was full, and his heart was heavy, but not only by thoughts of Fili…but of Olane. His nephew had said a few things last night that had got him thinking, and he didn't like the conclusion he had come to regarding her. Had he been a fool all this time, not to have spoken of his feelings for her? Yet, as his brother's widow, he was honor bound to protect her, even if it was from himself. He knew Olane had loved Frerin, and he her, but did that make Thorin's feelings any less valid? He would never have acted on them while his brother was alive, but now that he was gone…would anyone condemn him for speaking up now?
He thought back, trying to recall any moment in time that Olane might have given him a signal that she would have welcomed his advances, yet she had always been the picture of decorum, not once ever even hinting that she felt more for Thorin than brotherly affection. However, that was not anywhere near what he felt for her. Still, she was a widow, and as such, it was her choice if she wished to remain faithful to her husband in Valhalla…or search out another mate in this world. Thorin couldn't pressure her either way, the choice was hers and hers alone, and not even his position as Jarl could change that. Still…would it hurt to mention his desires? Would that ruin things between them? Make things awkward or drive her away? Well, with the way it pained him to see her on a daily basis and not do anything about it, having her leave Erebor couldn't hurt any more…could it?
With a growl of frustration, Thorin decided he would seek out some advice on the subject, thinking a fresh set of eyes on the subject might be just what he needed. And turning, he headed straight for Dwalin's home, knowing his best friend would tell him what he should do.
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Meanwhile, Kili had walked quietly up the stairs of the longhouse, somewhat concerned about the reception he might receive when he interrupted the two. But, he found he was just as curious as Thorin as to how things had gone, and squaring his shoulders, he knocked on the doorframe, waiting to be told to enter…or go away. When no sound was heard, he knocked louder, thinking maybe they were just sound asleep. Yet when there was again no response, he began to worry. What if Kara had stabbed Fili in his sleep?
"Fili…Kara? I'm coming in," he called, pushing the curtain aside and stepping across the threshold. Yet what he saw caused his heart to leap into his throat. "FILI!" he cried, falling on his knees beside his prone brother who was lying there on the floor looking very much dead. "FILI…wake up!" He then gave his shoulders a firm shake, breathing a sigh of relief when a low moan escaped his brother's lips.
"Ohhhh, my head," Fili practically whimpered, his hand coming up and covering the rather obvious bruise in the middle of this forehead. "What happened?"
"Well…" Kili began, now unsure if he should be worried or laughing out loud. "I can only guess, but it would appear that Kara might have hit you with something and left you lying on the floor last night." He held out his hand, offering him some assistance to rise. "Do you remember anything after you entered the room? Anything at all?" Kili now wished he had paid more attention to the muffled voices through the wall last night, but he had thought it best to give them their privacy. Now he wasn't so sure.
"I…I came in…tried to speak to Kara…but she just got more and more angry with me," he began allowing Kili to help him to his feet, yet still feeling a bit unsteady due to his pounding head.
"Well, that's not surprising," Kili muttered, steering his brother towards the bed and forcing him to sit down. "You were quite a big arse last night. Then what happened?"
"She…she got up and tried to run out, but I stopped her," Fili continued. "However, she pushed me back onto the bed and left anyway."
"And she didn't hit you?" Kili almost sounded disappointed by this. "Not even a little?"
"No, but then I…I got up and went after her…and…" here he paused and looked over at the doorframe, wincing as the memory came back to him. "I ran into the side of the door. That was the last thing I remember."
"You…you knocked yourself out?" Now Kili was laughing! "Oh, the mighty Fili, heir to Thorin Oakenshield, Jarl of Erebor, taken down by a doorframe! How will you ever outlive the shame?"
"Shut your gob!" Fili growled, shoving his brother backwards. "You've done plenty of stupid things in your life as well."
"True, true…but not lately, thank Odin," Kili chuckled. "I can't wait to tell Bofur and Nori about this!"
"Fine, revel in my humiliation," Fili sighed, getting to his feet. "But, first I need to talk to Kara and get all of this straightened out. Where is she?"
"How would I know?" Kili replied.
"Well, didn't you see her downstairs?" he asked. "Or is it so late that I've already missed breakfast?"
"No, it's still morning, but when Tauriel and I came down earlier, she wasn't anywhere to be seen." He had now stopped laughing and was looking rather concerned. "Do you think she went to Bofur and Melind's place?"
"I hope so," Fili replied, now more than a bit worried himself. "If not, I have no idea where she might have gone."
"I'll help you look," Kili offered, taking hold of his brother's arm to steady him as the two of them headed downstairs.
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Thorin had been lost in thought as he headed to talk to Dwalin, hoping that his friend could shed some light on what he should do. He was tired of pining for Olane, but the last thing he wanted to do was insult her or betray the memory of his brother. Dwalin had been friends to both brothers since childhood, and he could trust his war chief to give him sound advice.
Not even bothering to knock, since he had never taken the time to do so before, Thorin pushed the door open, a greeting for his friend on his lips. Yet all words faded into nothing when he got an eyeful of what was before him. There, sitting on Dwalin's table was Dis, her arms wrapped around the bald warrior's neck, their lips locked in a heated kiss, and his friend's hand under his sister's skirts and halfway up her thigh!
"WHAT IN THE NAME OF VALHALLA IS GOING ON HERE?" Thorin roared, causing the two people before him to jump with fright, instantly parting, yet obviously without a satisfactory response to his demand.
"Thorin!" Dis cried, hopping down from the table and nervously smoothing her rumbled skirts. "What…what are you doing here?"
"I could ask the same question…and I am!" his voice was not so loud this time, but his tone still held the hint of murder that caused Dwalin to take a step back. It was then that he spotted Dis' missing cloak resting on a chair nearby, and everyone could see the exact moment Thorin realized exactly what was going on between the two of them. "YOU…YOU'VE BEEN SLEEPING WITH MY SISTER?" His hand immediately went to his sword as he glared at Dwalin with fire in his eyes.
"Thorin, calm down!" Dis insisted, holding up her hands as she stepped in front of Dwalin protectively.
"I will not calm down…in fact, I might never be calm again!" Now his sword did escape its sheath and he began advancing on his former friend. Dwalin quickly retreated, racing around the table and placing the wooden barrier between them.
"I won't fight you, Thorin!" he stated, unwilling to harm his Jarl and the brother of the woman he loved.
"Then you will die a coward!" Thorin accused. In one quick and graceful move, he leapt over the table, scattering its contents over the floor in an attempt to get to Dwalin.
Surprised by his friend's sudden desire to kill him, Dwalin stumbled backwards, tripping over something and ending up on the floor, now at Thorin's mercy.
"THORIN, STOP!" Dis cried, genuine fear in her tone.
"I will stop when he is lying bloody and bruised at my feet, and not before!" he growled, reaching down and taking a fist-full of Dwalin's tunic front, pulling him up slightly as he raised his sword to strike.
"Thorin, I'm in love with your sister!" Dwalin spoke at last, making him freeze in place. "I want to marry her. I've loved her for years, but never had the nerve to speak my piece."
"You…you what?" Thorin gasped, having prepared himself for anything but that. "You…you love her?"
"And I love him!" Dis added, racing to Dwalin's side and kneeling down as she attempted to dislodge her brother's hold on him.
"How long has this been going on?" Thorin began, lowering his blade and releasing his grip on Dwalin, though still unsure of how he felt about such a confession.
"Since Kili's wedding," Dis informed him. "We realized our feelings then, but chose not to announce anything because we did not want to take anything away from his big day."
"I wanted to tell you immediately…but you had so much on your mind as it was, what with Thranduil's visit, and then Dain showing up," Dwalin added. "But, I fully intended to come to you and ask your permission to court Dis…for I want nothing more in this world than to make her my wife."
"But…but what about Flinn?" Thorin stammered, suddenly realizing just how similar his own situation was to what was unfolding before him. "I never thought you would love another after he died, Dis."
"Nor did I," she told him, assisting Dwalin to his feet and looking up at him with a smile. "And while it's true that Flinn will forever hold a special place in my heart, as my first husband, and father of my sons, I find no difficulty at all reconciling that with the love that Dwalin has caused to grow within me as well. Flinn would want me to be happy…and I am. So very happy, Thorin."
The dark-haired Jarl didn't know what to say. He could see quite plainly that his sister…and his friend…were in earnest. The way she clung to him, and how he stared at her with a softness that Thorin had never seen in Dwalin's eyes before, told him all he needed to know. Now he only had to decide how he felt about all this. On one hand, Dis was his baby sister…yet, Dwalin was also his most loyal and trusted friend. He loved them both, and if they had chosen to love each other, well, who was he to deny them such happiness?
"Do Fili and Kili know?" he asked after a few moments of silence.
"Not that we are aware of," Dwalin informed him.
"Kara knows," Dis admitted. "But she promised not to say anything until we had a chance to do so ourselves."
"Well, I'd say the cat's out of the bag now," Thorin huffed, his nerves still on edge from walking in on such a…disturbing sight. This was going to take some getting used to.
"Will you give us your blessing, Thorin?" Dis questioned, looking at her brother with hope filled eyes. "Or will you throw a royal fit and require me to box your ears to get you to agree?"
"No…I will not forbid your union," he grumbled, at last sheathing his sword and almost reluctantly opened his arms to his sister. She quickly left Dwalin's side and ran to him, allowing him to engulf her in his warm embrace. "As long as you are happy, then I'll be happy as well. That's all I've ever wanted for you."
"Thank you, Brother," she smiled, hugging him back. "I am happy…more so than I ever thought possible."
"I thank you as well, Thorin," Dwalin stated, giving him a slight bow of gratitude. "I promise to treat her well and never give you reason to regret your words."
"I know you will…or I'll happily run you through!" Thorin assured him, his voice filled with a threatening tone…yet no one could miss the hint of a smile as well. "So…when's the wedding?"
"As soon as possible if I have my say in the matter," Dwalin beamed, looking over at his love, still held in her brother's arms.
"I'm all for that," Dis nodded.
"But first, I think it might be wise to break the news to your sons," Thorin suggested. "And while I love you, Dis…and am fond of you, old friend…I think for this conversation I wish to be as far away from as possible."
"Oh, you!" Dis huffed, slapping Thorin playfully on the chest as both men laughed heartily.
Awww, look, I ended things on a good note. Thorin knows all about Dis and Dwalin and he's OK with it...mostly...sort of. ha ha. Wonder what Fili and Kili will think.
Ooops, Fili...I think you might have actually made things worse! HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE? Do you take lessons in mucking things up? And knocking yourself out like that...really? (heavy sigh)
Now...what will become of Kara? I guess you will just have to wait till Monday to find out. Sorry.
Guest Reviews:
Bob: thanks! Glad you like this one and my Little Son Of Durin. I hope the fight they had met with your approval. Plane might be closer than you think! Sorry about the cliffies, but they do keep you coming back. Ha ha Thanks!
Bookworm18: sorry about the rollercoaster. Scream at him all you want, I don't mind. You will be reading a LOT of small increments if you plan on getting through Little Son of Durin. Ha ha. Glad you like it too. Thanks
Guest: not sure if the dust settled or got more stirred up! And wow...you really don't like Stonehelm, ha ha. Thanks for the review.
abc: I am having to post early due to being away from my computer, and I know you usually review just before I post, so I won't get yours till tomorrow. I will respond to it on Monday.