"It's going to be a long engagement!" Julie insists while Rae stares at her incredulously.
"Jules, you are like what, nineteen? Matt's what, twenty or twenty one?" She demands. "You are little babies! You cannot be engaged, it makes me feel like a failure for not having a rock on my finger." She complains.
"Well…" Julie says slowly, looking at her out of the corner of her eye. "You've still got a certain ring around your neck." Rae is silent for so long Julie wonders if she's touched a raw nerve.
"I took it off once." She says suddenly. "And I felt wrong without it. I was off balance all day. It was the weirdest thing. And I was angry and upset all day. Yelled at my professor. Yelled at my boss. Yelled at Carden. He just put this thing right over my head and my world was right again. I hardly take it off. I don't know if it's because I have to have it on as habit or because I love it. I don't know and I haven't thought about it. Because every time I think about it, everything in my world goes funny and I can't see anything except a football and that damn 33 jersey and his smile and his face and I hear his laugh and him calling me baby and him telling me he loves me and him playing football with Carden in the backyard and I think that maybe I should have stayed and loved him. And you know what?" She demands of Julie who's looking at her, a little stunned.
"What?" She asks unsurely.
"I have not thought about a single man since him. I tried. I tried Jules. I got drunk, I flirted, and I dated a hockey player for god's sake! And I am so mad. So mad. Because I left my heart with some drunk in Texas. And I've wanted to come back and see him and every time I think about it I realize I don't have the words for him. I can live without him, I know that. I did it for three whole years and I was happy and I flourished and it was good. But god, I do not want to. I want him in my life, come hell or high water." She says thickly. Julie reaches across the car and grabs Rae's hand, gently squeezing it and rubbing her thumb.
"What are you going to do?" She asks quietly.
"Nothing." Rae says with a sigh. "I'm gonna go back to Duluth and watch Carden's senior year and work at my internship and get a job. You'll be in Chicago planning your wedding with Matt. And Tim will probably still be here in Dillon. What can I do? Track him down and explain to him that I am still deeply in love with him after three years of being across the country?" She rambles on until she has to take a deep breath.
"Well, sure." Julie says firmly, turning the wheel. "Let's do that."
"Wait, Jules, what are you doing?" She asks in a panic. "Where are we going? Julie Taylor!"
"Do you think that I could possibly forget the way to your house? I walked it in the dark, do you remember that? After my mom and I got in the fight about the Swede." Julie reminisces.
"I made Tim answer the door with a bat." Rae recalls fondly.
"I know you guys are neighbors. Were neighbors? Whatever. But you're talking to him." Julie says flatly.
"I just told you I don't know what to say!" Rae reminds her with a note of dread in her voice.
"Figure it out. Make a leap of faith. That's what I'm doing with Matt. Either it's going to work or it won't. Figure it out." Julie states and Rae watches in growing terror as she recognizes the houses rolling past.
"Jules, I am not ok. Can we please not do this?" She begs. "Please? Everything I said was a lie. It's a joke. I don't like him anymore. I'm actually engaged. It was a joke, please turn around."
"Shut up." Julie says briskly. "Get out. Knock on the door. Talk to Tim Riggins. And then you can get back in this car and we can go get ice cream at the Alamo Freeze and I'll tell you which girls have gotten fat and which one's have gotten pregnant." She bargains.
"At least give me alcohol with it." Rae implores and Julie points out the window of the car cheerfully.
"Worse case scenario he shoots you down. Then the ice cream is on me." Julie promises.
"The ice cream is already on you for making me do this shit." Rae grumbles, arms folded and Julie unlocks the car. Rae gets out and crosses the street. Her calm lasts until she gets to the sidewalk. Her hands tremble and her knees go weak. Her mouth is dry and her mind blank. She stares at the door then slowly raises her hand to knock three times.
"Coming!" She hears the yell from inside. There are a couple crashes and Billy Riggins pulls the door open. He stops dead in his tracks at the sight of her, his face suddenly pale.
"Hi Billy. Is Tim… Is Tim here?" She stutters, barely managing to get the words out. He nods wordlessly, opening the door. She peeks around the corner and sees Tim with a little boy on his lap. Mindy is rocking two babies in the corner and she falls silent when she sees Rae. Tim looks up from the baby and his face goes even whiter than Billy's.
"Tim, Rae's here." Billy says needlessly and Rae lifts a hand, wiggling her fingers slowly.
"Hi." She says softly. There's a long moment of silence with everyone staring at each other.
"Aren't you in college up in Minnesota?" Mindy demands loudly and Tim finally looks away from Rae to stare at Mindy.
"Well obviously she came back." He says shortly and one of the babies begins to wail. Mindy gives him a dirty look.
"Billy, come take your daughter. She's hungry, like always." Mindy orders and Billy brushes past her to grab the baby.
"Let's put them to bed, ok? Let's put them to bed and let Tim have the living room, ok?" Billy suggests.
"C'mon little man. Let's get you to bed." Tim mutters to the little boy, carrying him towards the bedroom. Rae stands in the entry, looking around and cataloging the differences. She's pondering which influences are Mindy's when Tim finally exits the bedroom.
"Hi." She repeats and he just stares at her, face unreadable. "I, uh… I'm visiting Dillon for a couple days. Thought it'd be nice to see you, just going through the checklist of all the Panthers…" She trails off when she notices Tim's face hasn't shifted even an inch. "I can go, if you want." She offers, taking a step back.
"Do you have it?" He asks suddenly, roughly.
"Have what?" She asks and he takes a step forward then halts, as though she has a force field around her.
"The… My…" He gestures to her neck and she feels the tears before they make it to her eyes. With trembling hands, she pulls the chain out from under her shirt and lifts the ring into view.
"It hasn't left my neck in a long time. I can't let it." She whispers and Tim's not looking at her but at the ring.
"Things have changed." He says, looking into her eyes and she's scared to see that his eyes lack the light they once had.
"Like what?" She asks, even though her heart is scared for the answer. He takes another step towards her.
"I went to jail." He says flatly and she reels back in shock.
"You what?" She demands and he maintains eye contact with her, unflinchingly honest.
"I tried flipping house with the boys but Jason moved to New York to be with his woman and the baby. I tried school but I couldn't do it. I only tried it for you and Billy. Came home, Billy opened a garage that turned into a chop shop. He just had the baby, little Stevie, and I took the fall. Spent almost a year in jail." He tells her and she stares at him, open-mouthed. "And that's what you've missed in the sad life of Tim Riggins in the three years that you've been gone." He sums up for her and she's speechless. "You should run now." He says, gesturing to the door with his beer before looking away.
"I'm not going to." She says firmly.
"I'm angry." He says, monotone, still not looking at her.
"You were always angry." She says and he looks up at her. "But none of those kids are yours?" She asks, pointing to the closed bedroom door. He looks over his shoulder then back at her.
"Really? Really? That's what you took out of this?" He asks, amazed. "No, all three are Billy and Mindy's."
"Oh, thank goodness." Rae says, slumping down with a sigh of relief. "I thought one might have been yours, I was concerned."
"I went to jail. I did hard time. I have a record. And that's what you got out of it?" Tim says, staring at her. Rae begins to laugh and it continues for a long while, until she's bent over and wheezing.
"I spent three years in Minnesota with you on my mind, agonizing if I could ever come back to Texas and you. I laid awake in the mornings with this damn ring and thought about sending it back but I could never, ever forget you. And I work up the nerve to see you and you suddenly announce you went to jail and I'm just happy you don't have a kid. I can work with jail. I cannot work with a baby." She proclaims and his jaw drops. She watches him warily, trying to guess what he might do.
She's not prepared for him to storm across the living room and pick her up and set her on the counter. She's not prepared for him to roughly kiss her mouth, cheeks, neck, forehead, temple, and collarbones, everywhere. She's not prepared for him to press his forehead against hers in a way that is all too familiar. And she's definitely not prepared for him to carry her to his bedroom.
"Carden?" He grunts, pressing her into the bed.
"Friends. Has a key to our hotel room." She mutters and then her eyes go wide. "Julie." She whispers in horror.
"What?" Tim asks, leaning back in confusion. Rae scrambles for her phone and puts it to her ear.
"Jules!" Rae hisses into the phone.
"Rae, calm down. I left like ten minutes go. I'm going to go get ice cream with Matt. We'll come get you in the morning." She says dismissively. Rae hangs up the phone with an open mouth as Tim tugs her shirt off.
"She knew that this would happen." She mutters and then Tim distracts her from all train of thought.
"Tim…" Rae says quietly, cuddled into his side.
"Maisie Rae, just hush." He orders and she looks up at him. "I'm enjoying having you in my arms again. Let me have the dream again for two minutes. Please. I've missed this so much."
"Come to Duluth." Rae says and he's silent. "I mean it this time. It's not a pipe dream. I have a job, a good one. Little apartment. I have a job lined up for you, a buddy of mine owns a car shop and he's always looking to take in people with records. He's a little weird like that and I know I could get you a job with him. He's a good guy and I know he wouldn't let your past be an issue if you show him how great you are. Point is, I've been thinking and planning this since two weeks into my freshman year when I missed you so much I went through two gallons of ice cream in a day." She says and his eyebrows shoot up.
"Where'd all that ice cream go?" He asks, inspecting her bare torso. "Two gallons? Really?"
"Don't make fun. It was a dark time." She protests as he covers her with kisses. "Point is, I know you said that you would never leave Texas. Texas forever, that's the Tim Riggins way. But I cannot and I will not leave this godforsaken place one more time without you." She announces and he's quiet. She bites her lip then pulls out the big guns. "Carden misses you too. Never shuts up about you. I think he's gonna play fullback this year."
"Has he got the size for it?" Tim questions and she sits up, kissing his forehead, taking his hand.
"Come and see. Come and see him." She requests softly and he exhales then nods and gets up. Rae leads him by the hand into the hotel, glancing over her shoulder and smiling. Tim just looks uneasy, wary about how Carden is going to react after not seeing him for three years. Carden looks up from the table with his breakfast and his eyes go wide.
Then he's pushing tables aside and he runs into Tim's arms like an excited seventh grader all over again. Tim holds tight to him, looking at Rae in disbelief, as Carden is nearly as tall as him. Rae just covers her smile with her hand.
"Hello Greyhound hockey fans and welcome to Parent's Night. We want to honor all the wonderful parents who have made our boys who they are today. Beginning with our starting left wing and captain, senior Carden Brooks, escorted by his sister Rae Brooks and future brother in law, Tim Riggins!" The announcer booms and Rae and Tim, hand in hand, stride across the ice. Carden greets them halfway with a rose and a tight hug. "Next year Carden plans on attending UMD to major in finance and he will play hockey for them."
"I am so proud of you." Rae whispers and Carden hugs her again.
"Thank you." He says and it's not just for Rae but Tim as well. Tim pulls him into a rough hug and Rae joins them in their little family, happy to be in the arms of her two boys.
AN: Wow... Well, this is the end. Thank you for reading it, for reviewing and favoriting and following and being the most amazing bunch of readers. I can't even begin to say how great it was to have you guys read my story. There aren't any words to express how grateful I am for you! I hope you liked it. Thank you thank you thank you.