TW: co-consciousness, panic attacks

Chapter 37-Pieces Coming Together (Kiri, Elsa)

Even though there was no school, Kiri wasn't looking forward to the day. She was an intelligent 25 year old woman forced to play the role of a 9 year old. It always felt degrading and like everyone was condescending towards her. She sighed and sat up, turning so her feet hung off the side of the bed. Kiri glanced at her hands and wriggled her fingers. Little wisps of snow flurried from her finger tips. "Well, at least there's that to entertain me if I get bored." Though Kiri would need to be careful where she used Elsa's snow powers. Did the squirt know where her powers came from? Probably not. Well, Kiri was curious so she decided it was time to do some research. She dressed in dark clothes, walked out and into the living room. "Hey Dad, do you have a computer?"

Ian blinked and slightly tilted his head. So that was where Elsa got it from. "Well there's one in the office in my room. Why?"

"I just want to do some family tree researching."

"Oh, well have fun then. Maybe you'll learn something interesting."

Kiri shrugged and walked towards Ian's room. But first, knowing squirt, she hadn't done her homework. Well more like Aya didn't do it. Kiri stopped in the bedroom and dug through Elsa's backpack. Sure enough, she found an assignment sheet. Mrs. Clark had assigned some math work and a project. Oddly enough, the project was for the students to research their lineage. How convenient. Now Kiri didn't feel so bad for prying into Elsa's lineage. 'Hey squirt, care to know about your family heritage?' Kiri absent-mindedly thought.

'Sure, why not?'

Kiri was honestly surprised. She didn't expect an answer. 'Oh well, ok. Let's go learn about your roots.' She walked into the office, carrying the assignment with her. 'If we're lucky, we'll discover the root of your snow powers.'

'That would be nice to know.'

Kiri agreed. She had a speculation on the topic: Perhaps the gene was recessive in Anna, who had married and had children with Kristoff. After all, there was no record or even folk lore of Elsa Swan having settled down with someone and having children. Kiri strolled into the office and settled into the chair, setting the papers down beside the keyboard. She opened the internet browser and googled "lineage tracking sites." She spent a few minutes checking out different links until she had been through all of them. Most lineage sites didn't go back as far as her or Elsa wanted. Plan B time. Kiri picked up the papers and walked out to Ian. "So Dad, I have this family lineage report. I know I'm related to Elsa Swan, but most of the heritage sites I checked out online don't go back that far. Is there a place we can go to that will give us results that far back?"

Ian sat up and leaned forward, placing his head on the back of his interlaced knuckles. "Hmm, I suppose we can go get a blood test and they could trace it? Do you want to try that?"

"Sure. Let's go. This is due Monday." Kiri followed him out as they went to the doctor's office. Since it was a simple blood test and lineage trace, they only had to wait about an hour for the results. Kiri refused to open the envelope in public, just in case Elsa had a negative reaction to it. It was unlikely, but it was better to be cautious. When they got home, Kiri sat on the couch and sighed. Was Elsa ready for this? Well, ready or not, the project called for these d.n.a. results. With a heavy sigh, Kiri tore open the sealed envelope and read over the results. Kiri only paid attention to Diane's family line, the line that came from Elsa Swan herself. Of course there was Diane who had married to Ian, there was also grandparents Tiana and Wayne. Did the female side of the family have a thing for names similar to Diane? Great grandparents Lianne and Drui, great great grandparents Rianna and Lion. Kiri's eyes widened. Great, great, great grandparents Elsa Swan and James Van Lier?! Elsa Swan had married?! Kiri stared stunned at the sheet of paper. Elsa Swan, the infamous Snow Queen of Arendelle, had not only married but had Rianna's line of family?! Why was this not in the books?!

'Well, what does it say Kiri?'

Kiri stiffened hearing Elsa's voice in her head. 'Uh, well, now we know where your powers come from….' Was all the stunned woman could choke out.

A moment of silence. 'Wait, my great great great grandma married?! And had kids?! Why, why did no one tell my family this?! Why wasn't it in any books?! So she had kids…and those kids had kids…Which led to my mom…And me….'

'You gonna be ok squirt?'

'It's her fault…I'm cursed. It's grandma Elsa's fault. She just had to have kids! I'm cursed! What if my life turns out like hers?!'

Kiri glanced up from the paper, feeling a slight breeze around her. 'Elsa, calm down, you're creating a chilled wind…'

"I don't care!"

'Hey you said that out loud. Don't make your dad think you're crazy.'

"It doesn't matter! I'm cursed! It's all her fault!"

Kiri clamped her hands over her mouth to keep any more sounds from coming out. She got up and went into the bedroom, closing the door. 'I get that this is a big change in how you see things but calm down.'

'What if the townspeople find out about my powers?! Will they come after me and try to kill me like they did with grandma Elsa?'

"Elsa that's just plain ridiculous. No one really does manhunts anymore. Especially on children."

'How do you know? Grandma Elsa was a newly crowned queen and they turned on her.'

'She wasn't a child.'

'Who cares?! If they'd turn on their queen, they'd turn on a child! Do you know how much people fear magic nowadays since the land was frozen so long ago?! Anyone who shows any kind of interest in magic gets taken from their families and locked up! I don't want that!'

Kiri glanced around the room as the breeze got stronger. Little flecks of snow in the air were dancing about in the slightly whirling air. "That's enough for now, Elsa. We can worry about that later. For now let's just focus on controlling your powers."

'Controlling my powers? I don't even want them! Look what they've caused me! My parents are unhappy and split up, my mommy is in the hospital because some, some douchebag couldn't accept no, my dad is going sleepless with sadness and probably guilt and to top it all off, the kids in school always use me as a joke! Only one person likes me but she caused another person to mysteriously pop up! I know there's some things I'm forgetting in this but for some odd reason my memory just fuzzes out and I can't remember anything that I'm supposed to!'

'Trust me, it's better that way.'

'No it isn't! I wanna know what happened in those fuzzy times! I wanna know why you showed up, why Anna showed up, why this new girl showed up! This curse from my grandma is ruining my life!'

Kiris eyes darted around the room. A swirling spiral of snow was surrounding her feet. 'This isn't good. Elsa, stop for a second and breathe. There's a reason me and the other girls came about.'

'Tell me! Why are you guys here! What do you want?!'

'It's hard to explain, you wouldn't understand at this age. Please, believe me when I say it's for your safety.' Kiri felt her heart racing and wasn't sure if it was her starting to get nervous of if Elsa was starting to panic. She felt calm but there was some apprehension and annoyance mixed in. She couldn't tell whose feelings were whose.

'Stop treating me like I'm freaking 5! I'm 9 for crying out loud! Tell me why you're here! Why do I have to be cursed! What did I do to deserve this!?'

The snow at Kiri's feet was slowly rising up to her knees. She had to think of something to calm Elsa down. But what? Think, think, think. Kiri tapped her fingertips, trying to think of how to calm the girl. Being logical wasn't really working, but then again it rarely did when someone was starting to panic.

"Oh no, make the snow stop! I can't control the curse!"

The sudden loud outburst broke her concentration. The snow was up to her thighs and swirling rapidly. "Elsa, please, listen to me. You're safe. We won't let anything happen to you. That's why we're here. To protect you when no one else will. Sit down, please. I can't move. You have to do it."

'I, I, I can't! I'm too scared!'

Heart racing, sweaty palms, eyes darting, quick, hollow breaths-Elsa was in the midst of a panic attack. Kiri blinked, seeing shadow things in her vision. Was Elsa managing co-consciousness? If so, Kiri was experiencing the panic attack with her. She was seeing shadows. Murmurs? They weren't quite clear. This was a semi-full hallucination.

'No, no don't take me! It's not my fault! I'm not gonna freeze the town! Don't touch me!'

She could feel the shadows?! This wasn't good. How could Kiri make Elsa go to the inner world when she was already there? Frozen in place, Kiri did the only thing she could: think of a solution. Elsa had control of her body but she wasn't mentally in control. Slightly confusing yes but Kiri could figure something out. The snow and wind got faster, lifting her hair from her shoulders and the curtains from the windows. Kiri kept thinking. What was something Diane would do? It came to her and she started singing.

"I pirouette in the dark, I see the stars through me. Tired mechanical heart, beat till the song disappears. Somebody shine a light, I'm frozen by the fear in me. Somebody make me feel alive and shatter me. So cut me from the line, this is spinning endlessly. Somebody make me feel alive and shatter me." The snow slowed by a minute degree, but enough for Kiri to notice. The singing was distracting Elsa, good. "Shatter me. Somebody make me feel alive and shatter me. If only the clockwork could speak, I wouldn't be so alone. We'd burn every magnet and spring and spiral into the unknown. Somebody shine a light, I'm frozen by the fear in me. Somebody make me feel alive and shatter me. So cut me from the line, this is spinning endlessly. Somebody make me feel alive and shatter me. Shatter me. Somebody make me feel alive and shatter me."

Kiri could slowly feel Elsa's body relaxing and kept at it. "If I break the glass then I'll have to fly. There's no one to catch me if I take a dive. I'm scared of change and the days stay the same. The world is spinning but only in rain. If I break the glass then I'll have to fly. There's no one to catch me if I take a dive. I'm scared of change and the days stay the same. The world is spinning but only in rain. Only, only, only. Somebody shine a light, I'm frozen by the fear in me. Somebody make me feel alive and shatter me. So cut me from the line, this is spinning endlessly. Somebody make me feel alive and shatter me. Shatter me. Somebody make me feel alive and shatter me."

'….Kiri….'

"Yes Elsa?" Kiri finally managed to sit on the bed, the snow now just lazily drifting at her feet.

'Am I cursed?'

'Not at all. If you can learn to control it, you'll come to see it as a gift.'

'…If you say so…'

'I'm sorry squirt. You weren't ready to learn the truth.'

'It's, it's not your fault. Besides, it was for homework, after all. It couldn't be avoided I guess. And thanks for calming me down.'

"That's what I'm here for, squirt." Kiri laid back on the bed and breathed deeply. That was almost bad. She closed her eyes and rubbed her hands, thinking of the snow on the floor vanishing. With a light woosh sound, the rest of the residual snow was gone. Some things were better left unknown. Kiri waited until she no longer felt Elsa's presence before she began writing the report on her family tree. It took about 10 minutes but that got done. Now Kiri could focus her attention elsewhere, like making sure Elsa would be alright on her own in the inner world after that episode. Kiri laid back on the bed and closed her eyes, her sight wandering to the castle. Concentrating harder, Kiri found Elsa in her own room. The girl was laying on her bed, staring at her hands. Her expression was unreadable but that was fair. After what she had learned, there'd be too many thoughts in her head for just one emotion to be shown on her face. "That was almost really bad. I'm not sure I'm a good singer but at least that helped calm her down. I'm surprised Ian didn't hear her shouting or my singing. Well, all for the better I suppose. It would be an awkward and half assed lie to explain it." Kiri sighed and went into the living to try a restart of her Saturday.

This is the same story as it was before, just rewriting it to fix all the mistakes that I missed before.