Fllay walked away from the room, wanting to clear her thoughts. What happened was something unexpected. She had lost control of herself. It was fortunate that it happened when she was with Cagalli. If it happened in front of Kira, then she wouldn't know what to do. Despite that, the fact remained that she had accidentally let Cagalli, his sister, know that she remembered him. Fllay still had trouble believing that such a spirited woman was Kira's twin sister, despite finding out about their relationship from Mirrillia by accident. They were so different.
To make things worse, she had accidentally triggered her APEX capabilities in the heat of the moment.
As she approached her room, she wondered whether Cagalli will tell Kira about her. It would be best that he didn't find out as then he will confront her about the matter. Fllay didn't know whether she could resist him any longer. Being near him was enough to drive her crazy with longing. Perhaps that's why she snapped when being interrogated by Cagalli. It was as if her mind was warning her that she was fast approaching the breaking point. If things remain as they were, Kira would certainly come to know about her, something she didn't want to happen.
Then Fllay's heart skipped a beat as an excruciating pain in her chest almost caused her to collapse.
Putting her right hand on her chest while her left hand was touching the wall for support, Fllay struggled to take a step forward as her sight began to haze. At the same time, Flaga's words were playing inside her mind.
"Is it okay for you to be doing this?"
The pain began to become more intense, causing her to pause.
"Okay doing what?" Fllay asked, standing in front of his bed. Flaga or Lornoke as he called himself was still handcuffed to the bed, despite the apparently relaxed security in the room. She came to the room because Mirrillia told her that he wanted to have some private discussions with her. She looked around her. Despite knowing that there would be no way that Captain Murrue would allow the room to be bugged, Fllay checked the place nevertheless.
"Come on, I told you that I have read your files, Allster," Flaga said. "I remember that I told you about that"
"So what?"
"I know that your abilities and capabilities are beyond what your body can support"
Fllay closed her eyes tightly and reopened them, trying to focus on her room, barely able to see its outline. Breathing softly but rapidly, she managed to take another step in front.
"As you can see, I'm still okay," Fllay said.
"I saw the video of the battle between Freedom and Impulse, Allster. I saw how you piloted that Murasame. It was way beyond normal Coordinator's capabilities. In fact, I'm not sure if Yamato can do it, and he's rumored to be the Ultimate Coordinator. You used your APEX, didn't you?" he accused.
"Yes," Fllay answered simply.
Despite the stabbing pain she was in, she finally reached in front of her door. Her left hand moved slowly toward the security panel and began to enter the password to open the door.
"You know damn well that you're not a real APEX carrier," Flaga said with an edge to his voice.
"I don't see where this is going to, Colonel" Fllay said calmly.
Flaga growled. "Look, I admit that you're better than any APEX or SEED carrier"
The panel emitted a long buzzer tone, telling Fllay that her password was wrong. Her shaking finger had pressed the keypads wrongly. She tried again.
"Yes, I'll admit that you're fine now. That's because you're lucky. Your body is able to repair itself just in time. But mark my words! If you keep activating it indiscriminately, you'll die"
"Is that so?" she asked back.
The second attempt also ended in a failure. Nevertheless, she kept on trying, praying that nobody saw her in that state.
"Yes. Your body wouldn't keep up with the forced state. Eventually your body will fail because of it"
Her room's door finally opened and Fllay entered her room, managing to take a few steps before crashing to the floor. Behind her, the door closed, as her body was engulfed in the room's darkness.
Fllay was quiet for quite sometime before breaking into a bittersweet smile, surprising the man in front of her. "It's okay" she said.
"Hey, you're not really …"
Despite still breathing, albeit erratically, there was no sign that she was conscious as the pain had claimed her.
"I took the risk activating it to save Mr. Yamato. And you know what? I will keep doing it if I need to. I will take the risk of activating that ability even with the knowledge of what it will do to me eventually. I will do it, every single time"
Cagalli sighed, her mind still in a mess. She had remained in the room for more than two hours since Fllay left, reexamining her beliefs and going through what she and the fallen pilot argued. In the end, she found that while she couldn't stomach what the other woman has said, she couldn't really discount them as wrong either. To make it worse, one of Fllay's statements has really bothered her.
"Is it wrong to be selfish?" she asked herself. Then she asked the question again, this time in her mind.
To Cagalli, that statement sounded so … so… wrong. Her father Nuzumi Nala Attha has instilled in her a very strong sense of selflessness. But even then, she could feel the question coming back to haunt her. Was it really bad to be a bit selfish sometimes? Would her relationship with Athrun turned out differently if she had rejected Jona's proposal to marry her? When the Seiran heir asked her hand in marriage, she accepted, telling herself that it for the good of ORB.
But then ORB joined the Alliance under the influence of Seiran House and its supporters. Not only that, it had even sent its own fleet to attack Minerva not only once, but twice. It was then the mobile suit and its pilot appeared to stop it. The fallen angel who had helped in massacring the fleet. It was then Cagalli cried since she had lost her father. She shed tears for the ORB soldiers who lost their life needlessly.
Fllay pointed out that Cagalli only shed tears for those from ORB while forgetting that there were those from ZAFT that died because of those two battles. She sought justice for the ORB soldiers Fllay has killed; she has forgotten about those who perished by their attack.
The young representative of ORB closed her eyes, willing the tears not to spill. Fllay was right. She had forgotten about them. Then, does it make her as selfish?
She really wished that her father was still alive, along with the original Council members. He would probably know what to do. Her? She was just a young adult who was unprepared for the burdens to be put on her shoulders. Her father always knew the right thing do in times like that.
"Do you want to burn the country down, just like your father did?" The elder Seiran council member's voice echoed in her head.
Cagalli open her eyes in a realization.
Her father didn't know what he did was right or not; what he did was to do something that he believed was right. Up to that time, there were still debates on whether Nuzumi Nala Attha's decision was correct or not. Perhaps the battle that ravaged ORB two years earlier wouldn't have taken place if Nuzumi surrendered the mass driver to the Alliance. But even then, there would always be supporters and detractors to that decision as well.
Lacus's words came back to her. "First you decide, then you act on it"
Suddenly, Cagalli felt all the pent up pressures and burden being washed away by the gentle wave of relief as she finally understood what her father did. All these while she had trying so hard to emulate her father and trying to do the 'right' thing. In doing so, she has forgotten the important lesson her father has imparted to her; there was no such thing, only thing that is believed to be right. She also realized that instead of trying to become measure up to her father, she had the responsibility to be true to herself.
The fact that someone, whom she called a killer, reminded her of those two things left a bitter taste in her mouth. She hated it when someone she didn't really like was right. But perhaps it was for the best, Cagalli reasoned to herself as she finally walked out of the room, resolving to apologize to Fllay later. Despite her shortcomings, Cagalli wasn't afraid to admit that she might be wrong.
"Here you are, sister," Kira said, startling her.
"Cagalli," she insisted. "Calling me sister would make me seem younger than you"
"Okay, Cagalli," Kira said, smiling to placate her. He then noticed her disheveled look. "Um…"
Cagalli looked down and patted her uniform. "That room was so dirty that I had to clean it," she lied. "Honestly, to have such a filthy ship"
Kira gave her a small questioning look. Domestic cleaning wasn't really his sister's forte.
The look didn't go unnoticed. "So, why are you searching for me?" Cagalli said in order to distract him.
"Oh, I wanted to tell you that the ship is going to arrive at our underwater base tomorrow morning"
"Thank you"
Kira's expression changed into a slightly concerned one. "Kisaka is waiting for you. Seems like he want to discuss with you about something in private"
The representative of ORB nodded. Kisaka was her father's closest aide whom she had not seen for quite some time. "Did he say about what?"
"No. But I imagine it's something serious"
"Probably" She knew that it has something to do with the current tension over EAF's attack on the ZAFT's Carpenteria Base, but she couldn't imagine why Kisaka would discussing about that unless it has something to do with ORB. Then her eyes widened.
"Cagalli?" Kira questioned.
"Oh, I guess we'll only find out after we docked, right?" Cagalli said quickly, trying to push the thought that was plaguing her. It was a very scary thought, one that she didn't want to even consider. "Let's go. I'm quite famished and would like to kill an unfortunate burger," she said while walking away.
Kira quickly followed her.
After a few minutes walking, another thought crossed her mind, causing Cagalli to steal a peak at her brother "Kira?"
"Hm?" her brother asked backed.
"Let's say I wronged you. Would you forgive me?"
"Sure" Kira said while chuckling. "I do it on everyday basis"
"No. I don't mean like that," Cagalli retorted.
"Then, what do you mean?"
"Well, let's say you and I don't know that we're siblings… And I did something to hurt you" Cagalli had to shake her head to clear the images of Fllay crying out of her mind. "Something very bad. Would you still forgive me?"
Kira was quiet for a few moments. "That's a rather strange question you have there, Cagalli. Is there something else you want to tell me? Something that I should know of?"
"No," Cagalli answered hurriedly.
"Then, I can't answer your question"
"Never mind, then" Still maintaining her pace, Cagalli asked again, "Kira, is it okay for us to be selfish? I mean, is it okay to think about our own need rather than about other people?"
"I don't know," Kira answered simply while shrugging.
"Why don't you? You should know!"
Kira shrugged and said, "I can't teleport you to Bahamas either, Cagalli"
Cagalli merely blinked in confusion at that statement. Meanwhile, Kira was looking in another direction, wondering why he felt that something bad had happened.
Andrew glanced at the man beside him as they floated toward the meeting room. He still had trouble believing that the man was the captain of the infamous Cherubim. The man seemed so bland, he thought to himself. The one-eyed war veteran had expected someone more charismatic. But judging from the way the Cherubim's own crew treated him, he was anything but charismatic.
"So, what is on the mind of the famous Desert Tiger right now?" Barzhakov asked. Before Andrew could answer, the captain yawned, making it look like as if he wasn't really interested in the answer. "Sorry, my body clock not adjusting yet"
"If you want, I can fix for you a nice cup of espresso before we begin the discussion"
"No thanks. Drinking coffee is not my cup of tea, if you get what I mean"
Andrew let out a forced laugh at the joke as they continued to float along corridor. The man next to him couldn't possibly be Cherubim's Captain. However, Andrew didn't voice out his thought and kept quiet until they finally reached the meeting room where Lacus was waiting for them.
"Welcome to Terminal," Lacus said while smiling toward Barzhakov. "I'm pleased to meet you," she said as she offered her hand.
Barzhakov took the hand and shook it. "Please to meet you too, Miss Clyne"
"Please, call me Lacus"
"Call me Barzhakov then. I just wish our first meeting would be in a better circumstance than this"
"Me too," Lacus said while nodding. She turned toward Andrew, "So, shall we start?"
Andrew moved to a computer terminal and pressed some buttons. "We believe that Dullindal…"
Barzhakov held his hand up, stopping Andrew in the middle of his sentence. "I'm sorry to interrupt… Mr. Bartfeld, but we already know about what's being planned by him. What I and those ass sucking idiots at Moscow would like to know is what Miss Clyne proposes we do about ORB"
Lacus and Andrew shared a confused look. "ORB?" Lacus asked.
"There's a seventy percent chance that ORB's home fleet will be mobilized to augment the LOGOS's defense," Barzhakov said while moving toward a map of PLANTs"
"Seventy percent?" Andrew asked incredulously.
"Sixty eight point four something something, according to the simulation ran through by the Eurasian Intelligence Office, but my ship's crew bet it happening at the odds of five to two"
"I'm not aware of this," Lacus said quietly.
"Its parliament is still discussing about the matter, so there's no official statement yet. But I believe they will reach the decision in less than two days. I'm sure that if Archangel has arrived at the country, the Representative has been briefed about this"
Lacus looked at the display in the middle of the room as it displayed ORB's current capabilities. Despite being a small country, ORB's direct participation in the fight between LOGOS and ZAFT may cause the balance of power to swing toward LOGOS; something Lacus would like to prevent. Despite suffering heavy loss during the battle at Crete, the nation had managed to rebuild its fleet in just a few months. In fact, its size has been enlarged. "This doesn't look good," she admitted.
"Since the Project Point Zero is almost completed, maybe we'll get to see its debut in the upcoming battle"
Lacus was quiet while Andrew narrowed his eye and asked, "How do you know about that? Even Cagalli wasn't aware of that. Only people close to Nuzumi knew about it"
Barzhakov grinned predatorily. "Hmm? So, how do you know about it then? Did you spy on your own friends?"
"You have no right to be accusing us of such thing" Andrew growled. Meanwhile, Lacus looked away guiltily.
"I think you're missing the point here, Tiger. That's why you lost the battle in the Gobi during the first war"
"Do tell me which point I'm missing, then" Andrew said through gritted teeth.
"The point is that the secret is not a secret. I don't care about what method you use to obtain the information; what is important is the fact that you know about it"
Lacus turned her attention toward the conversation. "You're saying that it's no longer a secret?"
"Yes, to some degree though. The Seiran clowns are still trying to find out the exact location of the lab, as with everyone in the world. Once they get their hands on it, well, I don't really want to imagine that. But I believe the Representative Attha's bodyguard may know where it is though" Barzhakov turned toward Andrew. "By the way, Tiger, your raid was repulsed easily because someone blabbed about it. Very expensive liquor, very beautiful women and very large amount of money have that effect of loosing few people's tongue, if you know what I mean"
"If I get my hand on that bastard…"
"Don't bother. We retired them afterwards when Patrick's hounds began sniffing around" Barzhakov said while waving his hand dismissively.
Andrew found himself having to reevaluate the man in front of him. Barzhakov's earlier demeanor had misled him into thinking that the Cherubim's Captain was just an old fool. Now thinking about it, Barzhakov seemed to fit the profile of the Eurasian Commander that almost outflanked his army in the battle in the Gobi Desert.
As if knowing what was on Andrew's mind, Barzhakov said, "Well, it was just a lucky gambit. Your forces nearly overrun my base at that time" Before Andrew could say something, he continued, "So, back to the question, Lacus. What are we going to do about ORB?"
The Clyne heiress was quiet for a very long time as she thought about it. Meanwhile both Barzhakov and Andrew were also quiet as they were thinking about the same thing. Finally, Lacus broke the silence. "It seems that there's only one way that I can think of"
"My thought exactly," Barzhakov agreed. "Now the problem is this: Attha must make that decision; failing which the Eurasian will make it for her"
"You must be joking!" Andrew uttered, fully understanding what was being said.
"If you think that we're going to let ORB help LOGOS, then you must be kidding," the Cherubim's captain countered while grinning. "And unlike North Atlantic, we wouldn't even think off wasting our time and energy to move a drop fleet to above the South China Sea just to pull a big practical joke"
"Why Eurasian Confederation is going to several lengths to do this?" Lacus asked. "It could have just let ORB help LOGOS. Does it mean that it's going to support ZAFT?"
"No, but we rather help Dullindal rather than Djibril. Despite being in the same league, the Chairman is, how do we say this, more mindful and cautious at attacking civilian targets"
Andrew felt that something was not right with Barzhakov stated. Eurasian military wasn't known to be that passionate at protecting civilians. Nevertheless he kept quiet.
Barzhakov put his hands behind his back and continued. "Of course, the main reason why the Eurasian is going to help defeat LOGOS is political mileage we'll gain from doing so"
"So you can claim to the public: 'See? We weren't involved in the massacre in Berlin and other cities. It was LOGOS and now we're avenging all of you by helping ZAFT defeat LOGOS'. Is that it?" Andrew asked sarcastically.
Barzhakov laughed. "I don't care about politics but it seemed that you have a natural flair for it. If you want, I can introduce you to certain people"
"I'd rather die choking on my puke"
"I believe we must call Cagalli about this immediately," Lacus said, interrupting the banter between the two men.
"So you're going to risk a call?" Barzhakov asked.
"This matter is of outmost importance"
"Say, in that case, can I join you as well? I would like to speak to Fallen's pilot"
"Fallen's pilot?" Andrew asked. He had forgotten about her being onboard. Perhaps he would have the opportunity to see her face.
"Yes, the Allster girl," Barzhakov said.
"Al… Alls…Allster?" Lacus stammered. Her mind was racing, trying to think of any girl named Allster. Anyone that she should have known of, or have missed. Anyone, besides her.
"Oh, sorry." Barzhakov apologized. "I forgot that you know Fllay"
He didn't notice that the room was suddenly engulfed by ice-cold tension.
Cagalli looked at the report in her hands as horror etched itself on her face. It was fortunate that she was seated when Kisaka handed it to her to read. "How can they do this?" she asked.
"You do know that some of our Houses are actually revealed as LOGOS members or supporters"
"Yes, but they can't just sent out the fleet like that," Cagalli countered.
"According to our sources, the official reason that will be given is that we're going to oppose the Destiny Plan that will be revealed by Dullindal"
"Destiny Plan?" Cagalli felt that her day was going to be ruined big time. "Tell me about this 'Destiny Plan'" she sighed.
In response, Kisaka handed another classified file to her. As Cagalli skimmed through its content, Kisaka explained, "Dullindal plans to end all hostilities between the Coordinators and Naturals by introducing a new social system"
Cagalli's eyes stopped at a particular page. "The social classification would be determined at birth, based on genetics?"
"It seems so"
She slammed the file on the floor. "This is preposterous! This is not a new social system; this is a new caste system that's based on genes!" She stood up, anger evident on her face as she shouted, "I'll never agree to this!" Breathing slowly to calm herself, she asked, "Is this information verified? I mean this could be a trap by LOGOS"
"It's verified. We got the evidences from the abandoned Mendel Colony"
"Do other nations know about this?"
"We don't think so, not even Terminal. We only found out about the plan just two days ago. Even most of the parliament members didn't know the actual details about the Destiny Plan as the Seiran House is using it as a bargaining chip to get them to agree to send out the fleet"
"Jona, you bastard!" Cagalli muttered under her breath.
Kisaka didn't show any reaction to Cagalli's comment as he continued on, "However, the plans will be revealed to the world when the fleet starts to sail to the Azores"
Cagalli sat down. "If we reveal about the plan earlier, rather waiting for Dullindal, it would have a different psychological impact on the world, right?"
"Yes"
"We will be able to expose Dullindal as the person he really is; a great manipulator. But doing that will cause ZAFT to lose the trust of the Earth sphere. The people will support LOGOS; the conglomerate that has been the root of the wars that plagued our world. Either way, it would be a very hard choice to make"
"CALLING FOR REPRESENTATIVE ATTHA" Mirrillia's voice echoed through the PA system. "PLEASE COME TO THE BRIDGE"
The representative looked at her bodyguard who nodded and went to the communication panel. Seconds later, Mirrillia's image appeared on the small panel screen. "She's in a middle of a meeting. Is it important?"
"Terminal is trying to establish a secure connection," Mirrillia said.
"Very well, then she'll get there as soon as possible" Kisaka said as he terminated the communication with the bridge. Then he turned to Cagalli. "It seems that Miss Lacus has found out about what our parliament is planning to do"
Cagalli got up slowly from her seat. "For the first time in my life, I'm actually dreading to speak to Lacus"
1
Author's note (8 December 2006)
1. Sorry for taking my sweet time in updating, but I'm really busy right now, stationed in a somewhat remote place and having to juggle between my work and my study.
2. You know, human mind is kinda interesting, having the ability to link from an idea to an idea. I mean, just two days ago I was wondering on how to to do wrap up this chapter. Then I reread the reviews and got an idea. But that idea leads to another idea which leads to the ideas used in this chapter. The original idea didn't get used but it spawned other ideas.
3. I'm experimenting a bit on the formatting for this chapter and I hope it comes out all right. If not, well, sorry then.