Chapter Thirty-Seven

I have vague memories of stumbling into my dorm room late that night, but they're fragmented and shivery. Goodwitch sees me to my door (and unlocks it when I miss the swipe four times in a row) but she doesn't follow me in. Cardin half-wakes up, but I ignore his mumbled queries and just crash onto my bed, not bothering to change, shower or brush my teeth. I don't think I even remove my boots. I just fall onto my bed and drop into blackness like a rock.

The team lets me sleep through most of breakfast, but they aren't going to let me miss the tournament matches. An hour before they restart, I roll over and find someone in my way.

'Shmer?' I mumble, prying my eyes open.

Yang's lying in bed next to me, her hands folded behind her head, fast asleep. I sit up, blinking sleep from my eyes, and try to work out what's going on. Yang is in my bed. Yang is fully dressed in my bed. I am in my bed. I am in my bed with Yang. I am fully dressed in my bed with Yang. There are several things wrong with this picture.

The main one is that I don't feel anything.

Normally I would be confused, surprised, happy, optimistic. Now I look down at her and intellectually? I know she's beautiful. Emotionally she could be a pillow for all I care. I'm not annoyed, I'm not confused... There's nothing.

Intellectually I know I should be scared by this.

Yang must feel me staring at her, because she stirs and opens her eyes. 'Morning,' she says, yawning. 'Sorry about this, I was going to wake you up, but you looked really peaceful, so I thought I'd give you a couple more minutes. Then… I think I fell asleep.'

'Ok.'

'Your team's at breakfast,' Yang prattles on. 'Cardin said you got in really late last night.'

I don't respond for several moments until I realise that she's staring at me expectantly. I can't tell her the truth, Ironwood was pretty fucking clear on that. What can I have done last night that would have kept me out that late? 'I – had to talk to Ozpin about the tournament and the healing bullshit,' I say. 'And then I – ran into – Octavia. And then we got dinner together. And talked.'

'Octavia,' Yang repeats. 'The redhead who fought Sun?'

'Yeah, that's her. She was one of Violet's friends. So we just hung out for a couple of hours.'

'You should get breakfast before the dining hall closes,' Yang says.

I'm not hungry, but I follow her down to the dining hall. CRDL, RWBY and JNPR are all sitting together, but the instant we step through the door, Yang peels off and sits next to Weiss, at the very head of the table, leaving me to grab some toast and settle in next to Ren at the other end.

'Finally,' Cardin exclaims impatiently, glancing over. 'Dude, you've been asleep for forever!'

An image of the girl in the glass rises up in my mind, and I have to suppress a shiver. 'Sorry for disturbing you so greatly,' I snap. Hyperbole is a lot more uncomfortable when it's got such a strong element of truth to it.

Cardin looks at me a little more closely, then turns back to his conversation with Pyrrha, Jaune and Sky. 'I hear what you're saying, but I swear to god there's a pattern.'

'Listen, I'm telling you, that's just not possible!' Sky insists. 'The software that generates the matches is totally random!'

'On the other hand software is still created by people,' Pyrrha points out. 'So maybe it's simply as close to random as possible?'

'You're saying true randomness is impossible?' Sky asks, intrigued.

'I'm with Cardin,' Jaune says. 'The biomes have been too close to perfect, y'know?'

'You're basing that on the fact that Nora got access to lightning and that blue-haired guy got access to water, though,' Sky points out. 'If the fights were being tailored to give the best possible show, then your own evidence undermines you, because the second Nora and what's-his-face took advantage of their environments it was a total one-hit-kill.'

'And the environment when Sun was fighting was actually skewed against his team,' Pyrrha adds. 'A team from Vacuo in a desert environment?'

'Ah, but that just makes it more likely it was set up,' Jaune says proudly, 'because when Neptune won it was a total reversal. You can't tell me people at home wouldn't be talking about that the next day!'

'It wasn't a total reversal,' Cardin argues. 'Who knew that dude was afraid of water? It should have been an even match, really, if he wasn't such a pussy.'

'I think if I had an electrical weapon I'd be afraid of water too,' Sky says fairly. 'But come on, Cardin, all you're saying is that every environment has different advantages. What about the trees in JNPR's match? The sniper got a real advantage there.'

'Trees can be demolished, storm clouds can't,' Cardin insists.

'And people can be shot off mountain faces,' Sky says. 'It can all be explained as a matter of tactics!'

'Guys, forget tactics,' Dove says, spreading the newspaper he had been reading on the table. 'They've got profiles of the competitors who are going into the doubles round!'

This is so effective in distracting them that I can't help but wonder if Dove puts more faith in tactics then he's letting on. Pyrrha, Jaune, Sky and Cardin break off their conversation, Nora stops sculling syrup (seriously, she's got ten jars lined up in front of her like shot glasses), and Ruby, Weiss, Ren and Blake all look up. Even Yang, toying with her porridge, shows some interest.

'They've given top billing to the ones they think are likely to win,' Dove comments. 'So you've obviously got the biggest photo, Pyrrha.' He's looking at a double-spread with pictures of the competitors – some of the more photogenic ones, anyway – and boxes of text beneath. He points at the centrefold picture; it's Pyrrha. She looks strong and proud and cold. Pyrrha looks at it, and her eyes soften with sorrow.

'Well, at least they got my left side,' she says finally.

'Nora, you're here too,' Sky says, pointing to one corner. 'They called you an avatar of lightning and ash.'

'Oh good,' Nora says, tossing back some more syrup.

'And described you as terrifying.'

'That's perfect!'

'Weiss, you've got a photo,' Dove says. 'You too, Yang. Black and white, unfortunately. Though they did describe you as a bouncing blonde with glorious hair.'

Yang manages a half-hearted smile. 'Yeah, you got that right.'

'Let me see,' Weiss says impatiently, whisking the paper away from him. 'Ahem. "Among the teams proceeding from Beacon Academy are Weiss Schnee, heiress to the Schnee Dust Company, and her teammate Yang Xiao Long. During their first match these two displayed impressive coordination, using Weiss' skill with Ice Dust and Yang's powerful gauntlets to knock out three competitors in one strike. White-haired Schnee's intricate Semblance and Dust combinations will make her a formidable opponent, while the bouncing blonde with glorious hair will serve as the hammer to Schnee's rapier."'

Dove makes a snatch and retrieves his paper. 'Didn't your family ever teach you to say please?'

'Probably not,' Blake says with a slight grin to take the sting out.

'Ooh, catty,' Dove say with a grin. 'Ok, Russ and Sky…' He scans the paper. 'Short paragraph. Sorry, guys. "The last battle of the first round was certainly an exciting one, with Russel Thrush and Sky Lark of Beacon progressing onwards. Thrush's mobility and Lark's short- and long-range capabilities provide an array of options. Thrush's Semblance, which appears to be the ability to restore the Aura of another person, tuned the tide in their first match and may give this team the edge they need in the upcoming bouts."'

'Because god forbid we use our skill to gain an edge,' Sky says, sounding irritated.

'It's a decent photo, though,' Cardin says. I glance over without much interest. It is a decent photo, taken as we leave the Arena; Sky is standing with Alouette over his shoulder. I'm standing next to him, grinning crookedly, with Polaris and Octantis crossed at my waist. Sky looks startlingly noble. I look like a bomb-throwing anarchist he's been set to guard.

'Eh,' I say, returning to my half-eaten toast, reflecting that there would be nothing quite so embarrassing as fainting mid-fight.

'Wait – there's an editorial,' Blake says, sounding surprised.

There's a moment of silence as half the table reads it and the other half resists snatching it from them.

'It's about you, Weiss,' Dove says finally.

'About me?' Weiss sounds slightly worried.

Dove clears his throat. 'About – whether it's fair for you to enter the tournament. Because of your family's Dust resources.'

Weiss pales. I didn't even think that was possible. 'What does it say?' she says finally.

'It says that – the amount of Dust you have access to gives you an advantage that none of the other competitors have. That Dust is an expensive commodity that most students can't afford. And that – ah, shit. It uses us as an example. "Team CRDL's unorthodox strike against team QRTZ set the tone for their match. They might have employed Dust, but as a tool and not as a limb. Their action was carried by bold tactics, decisive action and a use of all of their combined talents. There is no doubt that their use of Dust – sparingly, surgically, and at a time when conventional action would have achieved no advantage – was correct in every way. Dust is too precious to be thrown around like sand on a beach, and it is certainly too precious to serve as… "' He puts the paper down. '"As an heiress's plaything."'

'Fuck 'em,' Yang says after a moment of stunned silence. She's forgotten to be moody, and she's staring at Weiss with real concern. 'They don't know you.'

'I can't believe they'd publish that,' Weiss says. She seems to be in shock. 'They've seen me fight one match! And we won!'

'Yang's right,' Jaune says. 'They don't know you. Don't let them get to you.'

'They're using the tournament as free publicity,' Pyrrha says, sounding disgusted. 'It's gutter scum tactics.'

The teams spend the rest of breakfast consoling Weiss, so at least there's one upside to the editorial: nobody notices that I give absolutely zero fucks.

I walk to the Arena feeling like I'm in some sort of fishbowl. We linger at the gates for a few moments; Cardin and Dove will be watching us from the stands with the rest of the proles. 'So,' Cardin says, looking over at me. 'Bad dreams again?'

'What makes you say that?' I ask.

'The fact that you were muttering to yourself all night?' Dove suggests from the other side.

'What was I saying?' I ask after a moment, wondering if I've already violated my super-secret-solemn pinky oath to the pissed-off dude with a high-tech army.

'Muttering about a coffin,' Cardin says after a moment. 'And someone you couldn't reach. It was creepy as hell.'

I shrug at him. 'I dunno, man. I don't remember.' Nothing but the literal truth.

'You seem really calm about this,' Sky says to me as we walk across the Arena to face our opponents.

'You want me to panic?'

He frowns slightly. 'No?' He glances at me, and for a moment I think I see weariness. 'Seriously, are you ok?'

He's sick of this. He's sick of my shit. He's sick of my issues, of the baggage I carry with me. He and Dove are normal. Hell, even Cardin's started to fit the mould, iron out his worst dictator tendencies, play nice with the other kids. I'm the last one, the only one who hasn't gotten their shit together. Sky is tired of me. And who the hell can blame him? I'm as broken now as I was when I came to this place, running from my memories. And I don't even know how to fix myself yet.

'Bit late to be asking that, don't you think?' I turn my attention back to the girls facing us. They're both fairly short. One has blue hair and a beret. The other is a redhead who I think I've seen talking to Ruby from time to time.

'Sal-u-tations,' the redhead says cheerfully.

'How do you do,' Sky responds politely, putting me aside.

A look of sheer disbelief and joy crosses the redhead's face, as if Sky is the first one to actually respond to such a dumb greeting. Actually, that seems plausible: Sky has impeccable manners.

'This will be a stunning bout,' Port says overhead. 'Ciel Soleil and Penny Polendina of Atlas Academy blazed their way through to the two-on-two round, but Sky Lark and Russel Thrush of Beacon Academy showed a real knack for teamwork and unorthodox tactics that will stand them in good stead today.'

'I look forward to our bout,' Penny says.

'Whatever,' I say.

Sky shoots me a startled sideways look. I've gotten a lot more polite lately – he's put it down to Yang's influence but really, it's not like I had any direction to go but up – so this represents a definite step backwards. Soleil doesn't seem too bothered, but Polendina also looks a little taken aback.

The ground is rumbling around us. I watch the biomes rise: ocean, geyser, mountain and an odd one that seems to be purple platforms, suspended in the air.

'I don't want to know,' I snap, cutting off Sky as he opens his mouth to explain how it works.

He gives me an offended look, but apparently decides that three seconds before the start of a match is not the time to pick a fight – or at least not with your own team.

I shouldn't be here. I should have stepped back and let Cardin or Dove take my place. They thought Sky's Semblance gave him the advantage, and that my mobility would be important. They might have been right, but I still shouldn't be here.

God, I'm not sure any of us should be here. What's the point in it all?

What's the joy in being here?

The tone is about to sound. Sky whirls Alouette into a guard position and bounces back. Polendina throws her arms wide, and a bunch of swords spin into the air behind her. She ignores Sky, and turns her eyes onto me. Guess we know who her favourite is here.

Not that I care, of course. I watch seven swords unfurl, and all I feel is infinitely weary. 'What is it with this school and overpowered redheads?' I ask Sky.

'What?' he gasps.

'Ruby, Pyrrha, Nora, now her!' I gesture at her in pure frustration. 'I mean, come on! One's committable, one's some sort of battle goddess, one got in two years early because she was too dangerous to be unsupervised, and now there's this bow-wearing weirdo!'

'Oh, you know Ruby?' Polendina asks excitedly.

The tone sounds.

'Yup,' I say, not moving.

'Russel, MOVE!' Sky bellows, diving to the side as seven swords hurtle towards me.

'I'm seeing her sister. How do you know Ruby?' I don't make a conscious decision to move, but I see the swords coming and my body flips, seemingly of its own accord, to get me out of the way.

'Oh, ah…' The girl visibly hesitates. I dodge two swords before she responds. Yep. Survival instinct is definitely leading a coup against my brain, ably seconded by muscle memory. 'We, well, met… in town. Ruby is my best friend!'

'Figures,' I say, skidding to a halt. I still haven't drawn my weapons. 'Maybe I should dye my hair red, then I can have a bullshit overpowered Semblance too. Or maybe my weapons will just develop the ability to turn into cannons all on their own.'

'Your Semblance is Aura restoration, isn't it?' the girl asks politely, twirling her arms and bringing her swords into a circle in front of her where they spin malevolently. 'That seems like a splendid Semblance to me. And I think you'd look lovely as a redhead!'

'You're a moron. I'd look like a freak with red hair. What's your name again?'

'I'm Penny.'

I sigh and draw the Stars. 'Nice to meet you. Russel Thrush.'

'Sal-u-tations, Russel Thrush!' She bows to me, taking the chance to redo the greeting I blew off earlier.

'You know what, you can fuck right off.'

She flings every single sword she's got at me in response.

I charge her, planning getting behind her blades. As they reach me I prepare to jump, then behind me I hear Sky yell 'WIRES!' For a moment I have no idea what he means, but I throw myself to the side instead of completing my forward movement and as one of the outermost blade passes inches in front of my face, I see it: the wires connecting to the hilt. They would have shredded me like Ozpin's credibility with the other nations post-Grimm invasion if I had landed among them.

'You ever played cats' cradle?' I ask, landing and skidding around to face her.

'Is it a game?' Polendina asks doubtfully.

'A puzzle,' I say.

'I'm quite familiar with puzzles, but I haven't played many games,' Polendina admits.

'Haven't played many games?' I roll my eyes. 'Ginger, please. What exactly do you think this tournament is?'

'It's so we can test our skills against other students,' Polendina says, looking confused.

'Aw, that's cute.' God, was I ever that naïve? Maybe when I was born, but I doubt it. 'Face it, there's no point to this.'

She meets my eyes, and for a moment she looks confused. But then her face clears, and she smiles right back at me, and says determinedly, 'I disagree.'

I shrug at her. 'What makes you think anyone gives a fuck?'

Then we explode into action.

I charge and she brings her swords sweeping at me. I prime Octantis and knock a sword out of the way. I want to flip but I duck down instead, rolling along the ground. The swords strike behind me, missing me by inches, marking out my path like surveyor's pegs. Two fly out behind her and anchor themselves in the ground, and Polendina uses them to pull away from me as I come up from my roll and lunge at her with Polaris outstretched.

She moves her arm in a circle and her swords intercept me. I kick at her with my left foot, then my right, and each time she blocks me. I circle to the side and she swivels with me and Sky shoots at her back, but with the most amazing reflexes I've ever seen, she bats the bullets away with a sword. It distracts her, though, and I close in from the right as Sky shifts his fire from her blue-haired friend and unloads at her from the left. Polendina knocks his bullets away with, you guessed it, another sword, but we're actually pressing her now as I rain kicks and strikes at her. It's the same technique we've used before with Pyrrha. Fucking redheads. Polendina's spinning on the spot to parry us both. For a moment I think we might have her, and then Soleil pulls a pair of gun-blades, one long and thin, one short and broad, and tries to charge Sky. Sky starts parrying her attacks, freeing up Polendina's attention.

Suddenly there are so many swords, everywhere, tracing intricate patterns in the air. I fend them off with Polaris and Octantis, dodging and rolling so that she can't get at me without tangling the wires. It's like fighting the King Taijitu all over again. I'm doing my best to tie her in knots and Polendina is doing her best to impale me. We must look like two mad dances, moving together with unmatched movements, spinning as the other twirls, raising our arms to block the weapons that have been sent at us with raised arms.

She hits me with one of her swords, finally, just as I manage to pin another to the ground with ice Dust. We both fall back for a moment. I'm breathing heavily, and am irritated to notice she's not. Her bow is crooked, though; that's something. 'This is a game to you?' Polendina asks, curiously, prying her trapped sword off the ground.

'Life is a game,' I say. 'First lesson. There are rules and they're not fair and people choose whether to enforce them or not and then you've got the dicks who'll cheat because they can. But yeah. Yeah, it's all a game.' God, who am I talking to here? Whatever, she's listening.

'I don't know that I agree with you,' Polendina says.

'Oh yeah? What do you think, then? What's your own personal meaning of life?'

'I don't know,' Polendina says, clearly thrown off balance. 'My father says – '

'You let your father speak for you all the time?' I ask. 'What happens if you disagree with him?'

'Oh, that could never happen.'

'Sure it can,' I say. 'You've got a brain. Use it against him, even just for the practice. There's gotta be something you want that he doesn't. Chocolate, lacy underwear, sex with three hot guys?'

'Uh…' Polendina's face has frozen. I think I've short-circuited her. Innocence can be a real design flaw sometimes.

'Not that there's anything wrong with your father wanting sex with three hot guys,' I add, just to be that little bit more of a dick.

Her mouth drops open just a little bit, and I swear her eyes stop moving.

'Whatever,' I say. I've been inching closer as I talk, and she's been so disconcerted she hasn't even noticed. 'The point is–' I kick her in the stomach and she flies back, 'That you're you and he's him. So you have no fucking idea what he knows is right.' I grimace. Is she wearing body armour? That really hurt my foot.

'That was a trick!' Polendina says, getting back up.

'Ginger, I told you. This is all a fucking game. Someone's got to win it. If you don't learn to bend you'll break like–' I frown. I keep wanting to use computer metaphors. Don't ask me why. 'Like a scrawny redhead in an ugly dress.' Weak, I know. Whatever.

Her eyes narrow. 'It doesn't matter what I look like. I'm combat ready!'

'Prove it,' I say coolly.

I'm not going to win this fight without getting inside her head. She's too good a fighter. Fucking redheads. But at the same time – she's totally straightforward. There's no guile to her. It's her personality and it's reflected in her weapons. They're amazing, really, they are, but at the same time, if she tries anything off the straight and narrow, she's going to get tangled up in wires. Any other day and I'd have her dancing in circles by now.

And this is the thing about weapons like hers – once you commit, that's it. Blake overcame that problem by sticking a gun on the end of her ribbon, which allowed her to change directions once she had committed to a throw or a twirl. This chick does not seem to have that capability, so once she's set her swords on one course, any change has to originate with her.

Any fighter who makes it to Beacon is good enough to read body language (Jaune Fucking Arc excepted). But today that's not enough. I may have been giving her shit this entire time, but I still know when to fold 'em.

'Sky,' I whisper under my breath, 'Swap with me.' I charge Polendina, weaving from side to side. She brings the swords up once more. 'Count of three. One…two…three!'

I'm only a few metres away from Polendina when I commit. I've been weaving as I run, and as I swerve left, I just keep going, throwing myself into a roll and coming to my feet facing the opposite direction, facing the blue-haired chick. Sky starts firing at Polendina, high-powered rounds literally forcing her back, and I charge Soleil, throwing myself into the good ol' triple somersault, catching her in the back and sending her flying across the stadium into the platforms biome. Neither of them are expecting it, and out of the corner of my eye, I see Polendina desperately trying to get space between her and Sky.

The crowd is cheering at this about-face, but I don't have time for them. As Soleil gets back to her feet I sprint forwards and leap into the air, landing on top of one of the platforms. I run across it, swing under the other side and hit her in the back once more.

Sky is a fairly stationary fighter, and that was the mindset Soleil had gotten into: one where she had the mobility advantage. It only takes her a few seconds to switch her outlook, but in that time I've managed to get into two solid hits, and her Aura's dropped dramatically. Unfortunately I don't think that's going to last, because people with the fighting style we share – lightly-armoured, highly manoeuvrable – generally tend to fight in unorthodox styles to take advantage of our speed. As I keep telling Cardin, it doesn't matter how much armour someone has if they don't actually see you coming. Works like a charm against a tank like Cardin or Yang. Less effective against someone who uses the same style.

Sure enough, Soleil hits the ground, recovers and comes up on her feet. I was fighting a close-range game with Polendina to try and limit where she could put her swords. I want to fight a close-range game with Soleil to take advantage of my size and try and keep her longer sword out of effective range, so I move towards her, just in time to get my head almost taken off with a kick. She follows up with a second and a third that I dodge, and then she spins in a cutting motion so brutally effective that I'm forced to flip backwards to avoid it.

So she's got some moves. Fucking hell, is this fight ever going to end? All I want is to go back to bed. Soleil and I trade blows for a few minutes, but she won't let me close and I can't get past her defences. Ok. Time to try something else. I drop to the ground as if I've stumbled and fallen, and shake some of the fire Dust from Polaris' cartridge. She goes into the obvious overhand strike at me, and I throw myself back. Her sword hits the Dust, and blows up in her face. It wasn't enough to do any real damage, but she starts coughing from the smoke.

Her training is solid enough that she keeps her blades up, but I'm not going to try and engage her in a knife fight. She's way too good. Instead I lunge under her defences and use the Stars to trap her blades, twisting them. If she wants to keep hold then she's about to be put her into a double-arm lock that I know from personal experience is exquisitely painful. Ren and I have been using it on each other all year. I'm better at it, though it's not like Ren can't fight without his weapons. Sure enough, Soleil's hands spasm open and her blades fall to the ground.

She kicks back at me, catching me in the knee, and I let her go before she gets the chance to do actual damage. As I retreat, I bend down and seize her blades, tucking them into the back of my belt. She takes up a martial stance, hands up in guard position, and I cock my head at her.

'You mad, bro?'

'RUSSEL!'

Sky's warning comes way too late. Polendina has seen what I've done to her friend, she isn't impressed, and it seems like all Sky and I have managed to do is give her some ideas when it comes to ganging up on other fighters. Three swords hit me, one after the other, sending me flying across the stadium towards Soleil, who's clearly just raring for a hand-to-hand fight. For a few moments I have to concentrate on fending off her kicks and blows, keeping one eye open for those fucking swords. I take a couple of painful hits as a result: Soleil really is mad.

Polendina seems to feel Soleil has it covered now, because she's turned her full attention to my teammate. Sky is at risk of getting pinned down against the mountain face. He has to stay mobile, and he knows he has to stay mobile, but it's easier said than done: those motherfucking swords are everywhere.

Seriously, fuck this school and its little redheads too.

I'm being forced back. Sky is firing, trying to knock the swords out of the sky, his bullets exploding against the mountain face. I take a moment to wonder if Polendina did this deliberately – because honestly, if Sky's Semblance was anything but super senses, he'd probably have shot me by now – and then look around for cover. I need a chance to catch my breath.

It's a bad idea to seek cover. I know it's a tactical error. With me out of the way, Polendina will be able to focus entirely on Sky without feeling the need to help our her teammate, and Soleil might even switch her attention to Sky. If I do this, if I take myself out of the fight even for a moment, my team will probably lose. The fight will be over.

I turn and I run for the shelter of the rocks.

As I duck behind one boulder, Polendina sends her swords after me, keeping me pinned down. Sky sees me going and he must have assumed I have some sort of plan, because he follows me, and ducks behind the rock next to me. I didn't see that coming, and I wonder what to do now. We're both still in the match, and since Sky is in cover, he could theoretically hold them off with Alouette indefinitely. As I lean around the rock to watch, Soleil moves up to join Polendina, who has a maniacal grin on her face. Soleil actually taps her watch. I have time to consider what an ungrateful bitch she's being, but that's my last coherent thought, because Polendina's next action… is to send the rocks flying into the air.

Fuck. All. The redheads.

I let out a cry as my first emotion of the day – total shock – breaks though my apathy. I never in a million years saw this coming. We hang motionless in the air for a moment, then she slams the rocks down, slamming me and Sky against the ground with them. That impact is enough to knock our Auras out, and I take a moment to reflect that even internal damage could only improve my mood right now as the buzzer sounds.

'And victory goes to Penny and Ciel of Atlas!' Oobleck announces. No fucking shit.

'Thank you for a wonderful time,' Penny says.

If I didn't know any better I swear I'd call her a smartass, but I can absolutely imagine a friend of Ruby Rose's saying that and meaning it. I raise my hand in acknowledgement – and then something strikes the top of my head and I black out.

I come to in the medbay with a throbbing headache. Cardin is leaning over me. in the bed beside me, Sky's still unconscious and Dove is hovering.

'Eugh. How long have I been out?' I croak.

'About ten minutes,' Cardin says. 'Concussion. Go figure.'

It's difficult to concentrate, but I close my eyes. After a few minutes, the throbbing in my head stills, and I feel a burning sensation in my skull that makes me suspect the concussion was incidental to at least one skull fracture.

Once the pounding in my head has subsided, I sit up.

'Better?' Cardin asks.

'Much.' It's true, too: I feel normal, physically and emotionally. That dragging resentment-tinged indifference: it's gone. Guess I just needed to be turned off and on again.

I reach over and grab Sky's arm. My skull throbs again, then Sky stirs and opens his eyes.

It's a real relief to be back to normal. Having said that, there's a healthy side order of guilt present. Considering I effectively just threw our match because I couldn't be fucked to keep going, I guess that's not entirely unexpected. I glance at Sky, wondering if he's realised, but his face is clear and calm. Looks like I'm off the hook.

Then why do I feel so shit about the whole thing?

'Yang stepped in to check if you were ok,' Cardin tells me. 'But she had to go to her fight. It's in a couple of minutes, if you want to watch?'

'Sure.' I get upright. 'Hey, sorry we lost the match, man,' I say to Sky.

Cardin grins. 'You put out a pretty good effort. And seriously, who knew she could lift rocks?'

'Fucking redheads,' I mutter. My guilt has doubled now, with the memories of what a dick I was to Polendina in the arena. I should ask Ruby to apologise to her for me.

This is trivial, though. One serious emotion is rising in my like a volcano. Even my guilt is being subsumed. Because however you look at it, the truth is, some random fighter thinking I'm a dick is the least of my worries.

I don't think I can use my Semblance any more.

Not safely, at least.