[Scotty "Roundhouse" Dale] "Man, we just don't fucking die, do we?"

[Richard McGuinness] "Fuck no! We'll keep writing this shit forever! Listen readers, we are having difficulties though. A job, a game, and a few books are keeping us damn occupied, but this story must be finished, and that's a while away!"

[Scotty "Roundhouse" Dale] "We ain't done yet!"

[Richard McGuinness] "So let's get this show on the road!"

Taika dodged the blades thrown at her face, bringing her revolver up to fire off three fast shots.

Bastien smirked, the bullets shredding off a good chunk of his cheek before regenerating into place. He was about to swing down when a pair of jaws clamped onto his arm, locking it in place.

"No you don't," snapped Roosevelt, Taika's loyal if absent digital wyvern.

The swordsman grunted and tried to shake the creature off, but to no avail. Then another pair of jaws got onto him, clamping onto his shoulder.

"You aren't going anywhere," snarled Wolfenstein through a full mouth, his entire upper body now an immense maw.

Bastien roared in anger, then saw a huge blade aimed right at his face. His eyes widened a nanosecond before the blade hit, going straight through his left eye and spraying the street with blood.

Elena stood calmly in front of him, her arm drenched in old blood.

"You dumb bitch!" roared Taika. "We're not supposed to kill him!"

"He isn't dead," snapped the swordswoman.

Bastien grinned. "How'd ya know?"

He shoved them all away with a huge spin, throwing the sword from his head. He then grew eyes all around his head, allowing him for full 360 degree vision.

"Well damn, this has gone on for far too long," muttered Bastien. "I think it's about time I got serious."

He then punched his own stomach, causing him to gasp and gag. He did it again, and again, releasing a small stream of bile down his lips. Then, on the fourth try, he puked something up.

The blade flew so fast it didn't even leave a trace in the air. It hit Elena Tear straight in the forehead, burrowing clean through her skull with ease. She hadn't even had time to widen her eyes, blood flowing down from the wound.

Wolfenstein and Taika stared in horror and shock, not believing it. She was far too careful to let that happen to her.

Bastien gulped, the blade sliding back into his body, having stretched all the way from his stomach to her. "Heh, good. Now for you two."

A huge flurry of parchment flew through the air, covering his body. He tried to shake them off, but they stuck tightly to him and his struggling only added more onto them. Eventually he was fully wrapped in them like a cocoon, unable to move at all.

The Elena from before exploded into paper, revealing that it had nothing inside of it. From the shadows stepped the real Elena, panting softly.

"Thank you…my dear Paige…" she whispered quietly.

Paige nodded, completely exhausted. "Dat sword broke de sound barrier. If I hadn't made dat clone of you when he started talking, you'd have died."

"I appreciate your efforts, my dear Paige."

Bastien finally tore himself from the sheets of paper, shouting in anger. He saw Elena alive and well, and grinned. "Well, who'd a thunk you'd make a copy of yourself. Clever move. But mere paper won't save you."

Paige looked personally offended by this, narrowing her eyes in irritation. "…he's right. We simply can't tackle him like this."

Wolfenstein snarled. "Perhaps you can't. Don't you all have any allies? There must be someone we can ask for help."

He paused, a huge lance slamming into place near his foot. He whirled around, his eyes wide. "…it can't be."

Elena smirked, glancing over her shoulder. "About time. I asked for your help for a while you know."

Stan the Planet Slayer nodded, his armor a deep black color. "I'm sorry. I got delayed."

He held up his sword, three corpses impaled upon it. "These guards took me forever to kill. They were actually a decent challenge."

Bastien chuckled. "Who's this? An eleventh hour hero?"

Stan glanced at the man, noting his abnormal appearance. "…so you are Bastien De La Fontaine? I know of you."

"Really? What do they say about me?"

Stan threw the corpses off his sword, grabbing his lance with his off-hand. He then flew across the street, sliding with the lance out.

Bastien deflected the strike to his stomach, retaliating swiftly. His swing hit air, as Stan had already leaped over him to slash across his shoulder blades.

The swordsman roared, turning around. Then a sword took out his trachea, covering the street with blood.

Bastien grinned, his throat sealing itself shut. "Did you expect that to work?"

Stan didn't even alter facial expressions, snapping the end of his lance to his sword. He then spun his new mighty weapon, close to ten feet long with a blade half that size.

"I didn't want to kill you," noted the knight. "I wanted to send a message."

"Really? What's that?"

A bubble enveloped his left leg, causing him to pause. He watched as the bubble grew to his knee, then liquefy the entire limb. He sank to the floor, panting from the agony.

"Never turn your back," finished Elena.

Bastien chuckled even as blood poured from his severed leg. "Heh…heh…heh…I get it…I truly know why I want to be alive…"

He then grew a while new leg from the stump, sprinting at Elena rapidly on it. His face was one of pure joy, laughing wildly. "…I'm alive so I can fight you all!"

Peter Gorman smashed the street under him, throwing the Vault Hunters into the air. Leaping upwards, he kicked Aurai right into a motel, shattering numerous walls on the way.

"Damn him for targeting the healer," muttered the Siren.

Masher roared in anger, charging after him. "Get fucked big guy!"

Peter blocked his punch with the stop sign, kicking out the jerkass's legs with a sweep. He raised it high, the bladed edge of the octagon shining in the sun.

Carnifex grabbed the sign with his gauntlet, stopping its descent. He then slammed his bare hand onto the staff, destroying the weapon with a swing.

"Hell yeah! Nice one Carnifex!" roared Baldemar.

"Hey! He's my bitch, he gets praise from me!" shouted Masher. "Nice job Carnifex!"

"Thank you sir."

Peter glanced back at him, then spun and kicked him through a building. He turned back to Masher and punched straight down, rupturing the street below them and splitting the pipe line. Water filled the street, a solid geyser of it next to him.

"Very notable, but pointless," muttered the urban samurai. "A real warrior needs no weapons."

"I completely agree with you!"

Peter paused, turning to face this new voice. "And who are you?"

The man grinned, planting his hands on his hips. "I'm Nitro, and I'm here to fight you Mr. Gorman! I got a call from my good friend Masher there, so I came running!"

He glanced at Masher, who was now unconscious from the immense punch. "Hmm. He really does need help."

"Nitro!" exclaimed Baldemar grinning wide. "Damn it's nice to see you again!"

"Ah, Mr. Rodrigues! Good tidings! And Ms. Aurai is here too! Wonderful!"

"Hello Nitro," stated Aurai friendly.

Nitro's face grew serious for a second. "I do apologize for our treatment of you Aurai, as well as you Vault Hunters. If I had known, I never would've let that happen."

"Believe me Nitro, we forgave you a long time ago," stated Baldemar. "And right now, we do need your help."

Peter flew and lashed out at Nitro, tired of the talk. The speedster blocked the attack without looking back, the street under him exploding from the impact.

"That was rude," muttered Nitro quietly, glancing at Peter with a smug grin. "You need to be more patient."

He whirled and kicked Peter in the stomach, knocking the wind out of him. Tightening his arms, he began a rapid flurry of blows that actually bruised the skin they hit, before ending with a powerful kick that sent the urban samurai down the street.

"Alright!" roared Nitro hopping like a boxer, his fists actually steaming. "You're one tough man Mr. Gorman! I think I'm going to enjoy this properly!"