37: A Wistful Christmas
A week later, the trio found themselves in front of Hagrid's hut, chasing around rogue Blast-Ended Skrewts. Their classmates had already fled into the hut and they were the only ones left on the ground, save Hagrid.
"C'mon," called Harry as he tried to tie the rope around one of the creatures' stings. The Skrewt was determined to wrestle its way out. And finally -
Bang
It's end exploded, a jet of hot steam shot right onto Harry's face.
"Fine!" spat Harry, "You've left me no choice."
He raised his wand and, ignoring Hagrid's protests, pointed at its soft suckers, "Stupefy!"
A jet of red light, and the creature went limp.
"Oi! What are yer -" Hagrid looked down as Harry quickly tied the rope around the Stunned Skrewt, "Oh - I'll carry it to the logs, then. You lot," he motioned Ron and Hermione, who were wrestling another Skrewt of their own, "Can Stun them all."
Harry walked to his friends and shot another Stunner at their Skrewt. It went limp instantly. Hermione looked up at him in surprise.
"How did you figure it out, mate?" asked Ron, his mouth hang half-open with surprise,
"Third Task," murmured Harry, so that nobody could hear him, "Aim at the suckers. It's the only place soft enough to take the hit."
The three of them immediately went to work. Within five minutes, all the Skrewts on the ground were successfully Stunned and waiting to be tied up by the logs.
"Well, well, well… this does look like fun."
Rita Skeeter emerged from the woods and leaned against Hagrid's garden fence, watching the four of them picking up the creatures one by one.
"You're not welcome here, Miss Skeeter," said Ron coldly. Harry was trying his best disappearing behind one of the Skrewts. Rita ignored him and went straight to Hagrid.
"Rita Skeeter, Daily Prophet reporter," she beamed at him with her glinting gold teeth.
"Thought Dumbledore said you weren' allowed inside the school anymore," said Hagrid, frowning slightly as he wiped his hands on his trousers.
"What are these fascinating creatures called?" asked Rita. Harry secretly popped something into his mouth.
"Blast-Ended Skrewts," grunted Hagrid.
"Really?" said Rita, sounding interested, "I've never heard of -"
Pop.
Ron swore, Hermione shrieked, and the rest of the class watched wide-eyed. They all looked at Harry, except a large canary stood where Harry was supposed to be, it tweeted loudly and innocently. Hagrid turned around as the class laughed, while Ron and Hermione ran towards the canary yelling Harry's name.
"Uh -" waved Hagrid apologetically, "Gotta deal with'at. Sorry."
Before Rita could say another word, he was already hurrying to his three favourite students and dismissing the rest of the class.
Draco dropped a bomb that Sunday at their meeting.
"You want us what?" cried Hermione, not believing a word he said.
"You heard me, Granger," said Draco as he leaned back into his armchair, "Potter practices Imperius, you three learn to resist it."
"I'm not doing it," Harry shuddered at the memories, "I've tried this before… It's just horrible…"
"Exactly my point, Potter," said Draco lazily, "You'll need to do a better job at it."
"But we aren't that desperate, are we?" challenged Ginny.
"No, but you all need to be prepared," Astoria spoke up, surprising them all, "The next time youl need it, you'll do a better job for sure."
"Exactly," agreed Draco, "You, Potter, will learn how to cast it, and you can help them learn how to throw it off. It's a win-win."
"What about me," asked Harry, "I don't suppose they can cast it on me to keep me on track?"
"I'll keep you up to your pace," said Draco, like it was the easiest thing in the world, "I may not be as strong as Riddle, but at least I can cast it successfully. I'll cast several in a row to push you. It's the only way."
"Why can't you cast it on all of us, then?" asked Ron sharply.
"Because," Draco ran a hand through his hair, "Potter can't afford losing something simply because he can't use force to control the enemy."
Standing up, Harry sighed, "Fine, I'll do it. You owe me my innocence, Draco."
Draco smirked before calling Ron to be the victim.
Their first few tries were a fiasco. Ron, Hermione and Ginny took turns to be Harry's Guinea pig, who at first decided to order them to throw it off, but soon started attempting to order other things because his curses were thrown off too easily.
"You've got to enjoy your control," breathed Draco behind his neck, "Sheer necessity can't fuel it properly."
So Harry took a deep breath, practiced Occlumency to clear his thoughts, and attempted to persuade himself to enjoy controlling his friends. It's safe doing it here, he justified to himself, if it's safe, it's okay to try and enjoy it.
Finally, a dozen tried later, Harry was successful in making Ron charging halfway towards a bookshelf before wiggling out of the Curse.
"Much better," said Draco, his voice emotionless, "We'll keep trying."
They spent the next half an hour watching Harry throwing off curse after curse, eventually exhausting both himself and Draco.
"I like th - this better," panted Harry, sitting down to take a sip of water.
"Sorry, Potter," said Draco, "For forcing you into this. Trust me when I say I don't like at all."
"I'm just grateful it's not Cruciatus," said Harry slyly.
Draco grunted roughly, but did not respond. Harry thought he saw some complex emotions flicker though Draco's eyes. There was guilt, regret, sadness, and was that fear in the end?
The Yule Ball dominated the Hogwarts gossips for the last two weeks of the school. Even the increasing workload couldn't hold the fourth-years down. On the Tuesday before the holidays started, Harry sat down in the library, determined to finish his Muggle Studies essay with Neville and Susan, only to find himself being constantly distracted.
"Hullo, Susan," Ernie greeted them before sitting down. Following him, Justin and Hannah each grabbed a seat.
"Oh hi, Ernie, Justin, Hannah," the three of them greeted back.
"So," whispered Justin, Harry and Neville had to extend their necks to hear him, "You boys got partners?"
"No," said Neville dispiritedly. At the same time, Harry breathed a careless "Yeah".
Four pairs of eyes shot to him in surprise. Susan snickered quietly.
"Blimey, Harry, mate," exclaimed Neville while trying to keep his voice down, "You do act fast - Who are you going with?"
Harry was slightly taken aback by the group of 14-year-olds' reaction until Susan tsked the others and asked in a reproachful tone,
"Really, you lot. Isn't it obvious?"
Harry silently chortled as the other boys stared at Susan, clueless, while Hannah nodded at her thoughtfully. He felt himself blush slightly - the first time since they'd gone back.
"Harry's going with Ginny," said Susan, shaking her head at the boys, before whispering with Hannah.
"Right, mate," said Justin, "Congratulations - you're probably the first in our year."
"Well," said Harry, feeling embarrassed at blushing, "Ron asked Hermione right after he heard the news."
"Hermione Granger?" asked Hannah with interest. Harry nodded.
"Ooooh that's why Viktor Krum was so dejected last week!" said Hannah, suddenly sitting up straight, "I wonder who he asked next?"
Susan blushed and smiled sheepishly.
"Well," said Ernie, standing up with Justin, "I guess we'll head out to find some girls - good luck with homework!"
"You know," Harry said to their backs, "the Patil sisters are open - and half of the school are girls."
"Thanks, Harry," came Justin's voice before they disappeared into the corridor.
"Hannah," said Neville suddenly, "Are you -"
"Sorry, Neville," said Hannah as she collected her parchments, "I'm already taken… Next time?"
With that, she, too, headed out of the room.
"Neville," sighed Harry, "I don't know why I'm saying this, but Luna will be ecstatic if you ask her."
"Really?" asked Neville hopefully, "I don't know - I just don't want to embarrass myself -"
"She'll love it," said Harry, "And she'll be loads of fun to hang out with - for Heaven's sake, Susan. If you're going with Krum, at least beware of the fangirls."
The second Rita Skeeter article made its appearance on Christmas Eve. It wasn't bad. Rita mainly focused on how much he tried to maintain friendship, and included him eating the canary cream as an act for attention. Harry had to admit she was partly right before chucking the article into the fireplace.
Harry was woken up by Dobby staring at him again, subsequently waking up the whole dorm. After each of them giving Dobby a pair of socks and receiving the same, Harry and Ron started unwrapping their presents.
"Thanks, mate," grinned Ron, holding up the Keeper's gloves Harry had bought him.
"No problem," said Harry, "And the Curse Detector is brilliant!"
Beside him, Neville poked his head out of his curtain, "Harry, thanks for the book!"
"Thanks for the Chocolate Frogs," answered Harry cheerfully, "They're my favourite."
The book Harry gave Neville was actually a part of his make-up plan. Ginny had stolen Crouch's copy of Magical Water Plants of the Mediterranean while the others were watching the First Task. Harry then converted it into Neville's Christmas present. It was one of his ideas to irritate Crouch as well as giving Neville what he deserved after he saved Neville from tea after their very first class.
Hermione got him a set of riddles for the Third Task, Sirius sent the same knife, and Remus bought him a new set of Gobstones. The rest of his presents, aside from sweets from Susan, Neville, Astoria, Draco and Hagrid, were heavily dragon-themed. Mrs Weasley's sweater, for one, had a dragon knitted on it. Tonks got him another model dragon - a Wales Green, and Ginny bestowed him some of her best doodles, with six dragons dominating the page: four for each champion, plus Nobert the Norwegian Ridgeback and the one they escaped Gringotts with.
They happily spent the rest of the day outside in a snowball fight with the twins. Hermione again excused herself at 5pm, while Harry and Ron returned to their dormitory an hour later, aiming to transfigure Ron's dress robe before anyone paid any attention.
It took them a long, excruciating hour to modify the dress robe. Not that the transfiguration part was any challenge, but neither of them could decide what looked good on Ron without their girlfriends. In the end, they settled on changing it to a deep shade of navy blue and Severing off the ruff and cuffs. After making sure the bottoms were of a silvery colour of metals and the edges from the Severing Charm were well-concealed, Harry ushered Ron to try it on. The general effect was much better than either of them anticipated. The navy-blue foiled Ron's eyes and made him look wiser and more sober at the same time, while the silvery bottoms lightened up the mood a bit. The style was simple and earnest, and Harry thought they couldn't have done a better job for Ron tonight.
As expected, Hermione and Ginny were waiting for them by the time they came down to the Common Room. Hermione did everything the same as last time, she even went so far to fix her own teeth, and looked just as beautiful in her blue dress robe. Ginny, on the other hand, was in a cheerfully golden dress robe that reminded Harry of summer's sunrise. There were slightly darker patterns on the silk-like material, and the whole attire brought radiant elegance out of her. Just staring at her, Harry thought, was worth the trouble of attending the Yule Ball.
The champions arranged themselves into a line, accompanied with their partners. Cedric and Cho stood in the very front, followed by Krum and Susan, then it was Fleur and Roger Davis, and Harry and Ginny were the last to go. When the champions entered the Hall after everyone else had settled down, Harry could see the same sulky, jealous looks the girls had thrown to Hermione being directed to Susan, who dared not to look anywhere but Cho's shoulder. Harry and Ginny walked into the Hall side by side, both looking calm and open with their fingers loosely intertwined. He could spot a few girls sending hateful glares their way, and to Harry's dismay, several boys, mostly older, staring at Ginny with their mouths slightly open. Harry's finger traced into Ginny's palm, who in turn grasped his hand tightly. He squeezed slightly to show some gratitude at the reassurance, and received a squeeze that said "You're welcome."
Sitting down beside Percy, they quickly started a conversation over Crouch Sr. Over the course of the feast, Harry attempted several times to probe Percy's faith in the Ministry, and insisted in using Sirius to try and discredit Crouch (and, more subtlely, Fudge) a little. Too bad it was all he could do for now; asking directly about Fudge was simply too risky. So he and Ginny started another round of their nonsense conversations, their topic roaring from Sirius' best prank on Remus to Dobby's socks. But of course, no one else at their table could follow their rapidly jumping minds, nor could they decipher all the inside jokes installed in the words. Harry was relieved to see that Percy at least was not as protective as Ginny's other brothers, and did not openly show hostility towards Harry.
They soon began to dance. With the right person on his side, Harry actually enjoyed the experience. The Weird Sisters started with a slow, mournful tune, which stirred a puddle of sadness in Harry's chest. But soon enough, as the music picked up its speed and feel and the rest of the Hall stood up, the dance became rather relaxing. Together, Harry and Ginny shared tune after tune, putting their hearts for every second of it, until an elbow struck in his ribs after the final note of what felt like a hundredth song.
"Ouch!" yelped Harry, "What was that for?"
Ron rolled his eyes before gesturing him and Ginny to follow him out. When they were finally catching him up, Ron curled up his lips and whispered, "We have a bat to eavesdrop upon and a beetle to catch." Harry let out a knowing grin.
They met Hermione in the empty Entrance Hall and quickly Disillusioned themselves. Following Snape and Karkaroff, they found the reindeer behind which they had hidden last time, canceled the Disillusionment Charm before creeping towards it, and waited for Hagrid and Madame Maxime to finish their conversation.
"'Ow dare you?" shrieked Madame Maxime, "I 'ave nevair been more insulted in my life! 'Alf giant? Moi? I 'ave - I 'ave big bones!"
There was a muffled slamming noise under the disguise of Maxime's rant. Hermione was clutching a sealed small glass bottle tightly, and Harry knew she had done it. The night was clear and quiet after the big couple left, and the four of them stood in silence.
"Let's go", said Hermione after examining the bottle's seal, "Ginny and I will deal with this."
Ron and Harry headed back to the ball while the girls went their way to negotiate with Rita. Harry had heard a glimpse of their plans and couldn't help but snort: to say they wanted to negotiate was the least polite phrasing. He himself would like the word blackmail better.
Cedric called him back after the Ball ended and gave him the hint for the Second Task. Harry was just about to press for some details when he heard a deep voice speaking beside them.
"Just the people I vanted to see," said Krum. Harry smiled at him warmly while Cedric kept assessing him with a polite, curious glare. From the corner of his eyes, Harry also saw Cho making her way towards them.
"Vell," said Krum, "I vos just thinking - are you still flying togezer?"
"Er - Yeah, I suppose -" stammered Harry, carefully glancing at Cedric, who fortunately got the message.
"We won't be flying for a while," said Cedric, Harry saw the disappointment on Krum's face before Cedric changed into a warmer tone, "But it's only for the weather. We'll probably get back to it in February, are you interested?"
"Vy not?" grinned Krum, before shaking Harry and Cedric's hands and walking away with Susan. Harry had a faint suspicion that he, too, missed flying.
The girls met Harry and Ron by the Fat Lady's and dragged them to the Room of Requirement despite their protest. Upon entering the room, which took shape of a small office with one fest and four chairs around it, Hermione pushed them all down and slammed the now empty glass bottle onto the desk, looking smug.
"Set free into the wilderness?" asked Harry, lifting a corner of his lips.
"Yeah, 'Mione," Ron caught on, "Not keeping it as a pet, are we?"
Ginny sniggered loudly beside them, muttering something that sounded suspiciously like "boys", before sitting up straight and clearing her throat.
"No, Ron," said Hermione pleasantly, "As a matter of fact - I'm not keeping this beetle as a pet, unlike you."
"Oi!" protested Ron loudly, "It's not like I wanted Scabbers, is it?"
The room fell silent at the mention of Wormtail. Ginny cleared her throat again warningly, and Hermione quickly put the bottle away.
"Anyways," she said, "Ginny and I made our deals. She can write all she wants about you for the rest of the year, but nothing about your friends. At least no direct targets. Then for the next three years she'll be on our command, writing for The Quibbler whenever we require her to, and nothing else."
"I never thought that cow could take such complex orders," mused Harry, "Did you resort to Bat-Bogey to get the deal?"
"Nope," Ginny shook her head happily, "No need. Hermione's blackmail was more than enough."
"Blimey, Hermione," said Ron, looking impressed, "Never knew you had it in you."
"Always a tone of surprise," said Hermione dryly.
Ginny moved closer to Harry and whispered in his ears, "And Draco doesn't believe we are good actors."
Harry snorted loudly. Ron and Hermione, who were slowly moving towards each other, quickly broke apart and lead them back to the Gryffindor Tower. Harry and Ginny followed, grinning and shaking their heads.
The quietness in the dormitory suddenly splashed Harry's mind like a jet of icy water, and he now lay awake in his four-poster bed, unable to shut his mind despite his body's protests. Moments like this had gotten better over the years, and for some reason, tonight was one of the worst ones he'd had in more than a year.
Perhaps it was the stillness, or maybe the peacefulness that triggered his mind. He was reminded of their year on the run, and how he had missed the tranquil nights in the dormitory. Then, he reminded himself, those nights were approaching to an end soon. With the War just around the corner, this very room was going to witness countless struggles of his and his friends'. He recalled the argument with Seamus at the beginning of his fifth year - that was the first. There were restless nights haunted by nightmares and visions, Ron staying up with him at night, and by January, Neville would get his own share after hearing the massive break-out of Azkaban. In their sixth year, although there were no more arguments, the boys frequently stayed up, discussing news and musing to themselves. Harry, especially, would lay awake, not unlike tonight, and brood until exhaustion had gotten the better of him. Then Dumbledore died, and fear was added into one of the ever-lasting moods in the dormitory. It felt empty, according to Neville, and neither he nor Seamus could stare at the three empty beds without feeling excruciating pain during their seventh year. Outside the castle, in a tent somewhere in the country, Harry, Ron and Hermione took turns to sleep, and would wake up with the tiniest movement outside. And when they finally returned, the castle was in ruins within 12 hours, and the dormitory, although relatively unscathed, gradually became a place they all avoided. None would go up for a rest unless they felt absolutely drained, and would flee down the moment they were awake. It simply wasn't the same anymore.
His eyelids were struggling. He closed them effortlessly, cherishing the soon-to-end peace. His mind drifted to Christmases. Then it hit him. They'd never had a Christmas with the entire Weasley family before. He and Ron had never spent Christmas at the Burrow before their fifth year, and Percy had already walked out by then. The short visit with Scrimgeour in their sixth year didn't count as he wasn't a part of the family celebration. Then it was the one Christmas he spent with Hermione, in Godric's Hollow, with Ron staying at the Shell Cottage and the rest of the Weasleys waiting for them at the Burrow. The next Christmas was more festive than previous ones, they even invited Andromeda and Little Teddy, but the fact that Fred's shadow followed everyone around the house. It was a quiet dinner, and everyone returned to their rooms soon afterwards. And as many times as he promised himself not to let this happen again, Harry feared. What if Fred was destined to die before things got better? What if Percy walked out and never came back because the War was never as bad? What if, instead of Fred and Percy, it was Ron, or Ginny, or Hermione, or himself that couldn't make it out? What if more than one member of the family were taken away early? What if they were like Neville's parents, permanently damaged and confined in a hospital room? Harry couldn't help but shudder at the thought.
There are ways to prevent it, he told himself firmly, we can do this. But did he really believe it? He felt the same disquietness that had haunted him while on the run. Countless what ifs collided in his mind, making it explode with fear and anxiety. And despite what they told him, despite how hard he tried to convince himself, he found himself doubting more and more. He did believe it, when he first came back, when they were just spreading the blueprint. Every plan seemed convincingly operative. But as time went on and he relived his own life knowing the hardships ahead, he started losing his faith. It seemed, no matter how hard he tried, history would always find a way to repeat itself. Quirrell died despite his efforts to keep him alive, the Basilisk still bit him down in the Chamber, and regardless of all his precautions, his broom just had to be jinxed. He couldn't bring himself to speculate what would happen next. The endless possibilities for the inevitables were simply too much to bear. It just couldn't…