Hey guys, this will be my second to last chapter for this story. I have loved writing it, but I feel that it's coming to a close. I have big plans for the last chapter, and it will be pretty long. I hope you enjoy this one and thank you for all the love and support you have given me through this story. – ScruffyPalace
Felicity tapped on her leg as she waited patiently for the older woman to start. She'd been coming to this therapist for over a month, but she still sat like a nervous child as she waited for what she would say. Finally, she glanced up from her notes and gave Felicity a kind smile.
"Okay, last time we ended with you talking about how it felt to bring Owen home from the hospital. I'd like to start there."
"Oh, okay. Do you want me to start at the beginning?"
"Anywhere you'd like."
12 Weeks Ago…
"I don't think I can do this," Felicity whispered to herself as the nurses helped transition Owen from the crib to his car seat. Even at 10 weeks old, well actually negative 2 weeks old but they felt weird using his corrected age, he still looked tiny. Too tiny to be breathing, and eating, and warming himself without help. Felicity rubbed at her throat for the hundredth time that hour. If she hadn't dealt with panic attacks before, she would have been concerned that she was having an allergic reaction because of the tightness of her throat and inability to swallow.
She didn't know how Oliver was so strong. Well, she did, but this was his first time bringing a preemie home from the hospital, so maybe Felicity worried he would be as freaked out as she was. Instead, he was standing there listening tensely to the nurses and also giving Owen a huge smile as he strapped him in. Owen was dressed in a grey onesie with his name written across the front and a pair of bear covered pants that matched his hat.
If she thought putting him in his car-seat was tough, actually putting him in the car was unimaginably terrifying. She checked every strap at least ten times, before making Oliver check them. After the fifth, "Are you sure? Maybe you should check again." Oliver guided her away from Owen to her car door. He even opened the door and helped her get in. She did smirk when he went back around and checked one more time before climbing in the driver's seat and going home.
He drove ten miles under the speed limit the entire time, not that Felicity was complaining. When they got home, Donna was standing with William in front of their door, with a huge 'IT'S A BOY' banner flying above their heads. Felicity slowly unbuckled her baby boy and carried him to the rest of her family.
"Hi Owen, remember me?" William spoke and signed. He'd gotten quite good in the ten weeks he'd been studying. He stuck out his hand to grab ahold of Owen's when Felicity pulled back. She didn't mean to, it was just a reflex. She just saw all the germs surrounding him and she didn't want Owen to be exposed.
William's smile fell and he looked up at Oliver with a quivering lip. Oliver walked over to him and said gently, "Hey bud, we gotta make sure we are all clean when we touch Owen. He's really young, so he has a hard time fighting diseases if he gets sick. So, why don't you go take a shower, and we'll let you sit on the couch and hold him as long as you want."
William's grin grew back instantly, and he ran off to his bathroom saying, "I'll be right back." The rest of them walked into the living room, where Donna held out her hands.
"Well, Grandma Donna just took a shower and scrubbed her hands until they were numb, soooo"
Felicity still was unsure about handing him to anyone. She just wanted to keep him in her arms forever, because maybe that would keep him safe. Oliver gave her an encouraging smile and that gave her just enough strength to hand him over. Her mother took him and gently rocked him back and forth. Donna's eyes welled up with tears as she held her grandson for the first time.
"Hello there, little Owen. I'm getting William too show me how to sign. I promise you that I am going to be the world's best Grandma." Felicity saw Oliver slightly flinch, and she knew it was probably because his mother never got the chance to, see her grandchildren. Even though Felicity hated that woman and she kept William away from Oliver for all those years, she was still his mother, and he still missed her every day.
"That night was difficult. Owen kept crying and we couldn't calm him down. Neither one of us slept for days. Finally, my mom forced us to sleep for a couple of hours. She convinced us by saying we might pass out while holding him and drop him. I slept like a rock and it felt so good. The first few weeks were the hardest. What made them even harder was leaving to go to the hospital every day. Oliver and I had a schedule, but it meant we'd never get to see her together. Someone would always be home with Owen. We weren't the only ones who were struggling."
7 Weeks Ago…
"An F? You got an F on your math test?" Felicity asked as she slammed the papers on the table in front of William. Instead of getting a level-headed response like she usually would from the ten-year-old, he stood up and yelled, "YEAH, IT'S CAUSE OF OWEN. HE'S ALWAYS CRYING SO I CAN'T STUDY OR SLEEP! HOW COULD I DO ANYTHING WITH THAT STUPID BABY ALWAYS BEING SO LOUD!" Felicity didn't know what to say. She was so taken aback that he would yell at her, that she didn't stop him from stomping up the stairs.
An hour later Donna returned from the grocery store to find Felicity pacing back and forth across the carpet with a screaming Owen in her arms and tears streaming down her face. Donna took Owen from her and the baby almost immediately calmed down, making Felicity cry harder. Donna put Owen in his bouncer where he was fussy but mostly quiet. She then guided Felicity to the couch and sat with her arms wrapped around her daughter.
"What happened, baby?"
"William has been getting bad grades, so I asked him about them, but I was a little harsher than a should've been and he yelled at me and said-said it was because of Owen keeping him up all night and then he stormed to his-his room and slammed the door, which made Owen star-start crying. I don't know what to do, mom."
Her mother held her as she cried, and when she finally calmed down, she said, "You stay here and get some rest. Grandma Smoak is going to fix things."
Felicity was nervous because, while her mother was great, she didn't always make the best decisions when it comes to babies. When she was a year old her mother would feed her chips from the bar and give her soda in her sippy cup. She just hoped that she would make different decisions now that she was older.
"My mom was an amazing help. She got us on a routine, which worked out great until Mia developed pneumonia. She was sick for a while and at one put we almost," Felicity took a sharp breath, "We were so close to losing her."
Felicity sat on one side of the crib and Oliver sat on the other, while they held their daughters' hand. You could see the struggle pneumonia was causing on her tiny body as she struggled to breathe. The nurses told them to prepare themselves. She wasn't getting better, and she already had so many troubles in the past few months.
"Come on baby girl. You gotta fight this." Felicity whispered. "We need you to keep fighting. I know it's hard, but one day you'll be home with us. Your brothers are excited to see you and so is your grandma. She got you so much clothing and toys, so you have to get better so you can play with them." Mia's chest didn't rise for a moment and Felicity almost screamed, until a very small, very congested breath was taken again by the little girl.
"There you go, keep fighting." Oliver's face was red, but his eyes were dry as if he was doing everything in his power to hold back the tears.
"We have too many boys in the house," Oliver finally said with a strained voice. "You need to come home and even it out." Felicity looked around the room at the other parents. She felt as though everyone was staring at her, angry like it was Felicity's fault. She felt that it was. If she hadn't been so reckless, then she wouldn't have gone into preterm labor and she wouldn't have a dy- a sick daughter. She saw one mother standing over a baby just a bit bigger than Mia. She had her hands together and her eyes closed, and she was whispering prayers to God to save her baby.
Felicity didn't believe in religion. She was Jewish, but she didn't go to synagogue and she thought the whole God thing was some stupid man-made thing. But seeing Mia laying in the crib, not even a few months old, she decided it couldn't hurt. So, she prayed. She prayed to keep Mia alive and to help her fight off her pneumonia. When she was done, she felt stupid. Even if there was a God, why would he care about their baby?
"I don't know if it was the praying or medicine finally kicking in, but within the next couple of hours her stats greatly improved," Felicity answered, not looking at the woman, but instead the skirt she was wearing.
"Well, that's good news."
"Yeah," was all Felicity could get out.
"But," the woman started, waiting patiently for Felicity to continue.
"But, every time something goes right, something else seems to go wrong. Like I'm on a roller-coaster with a million hills. I just want to be steady for a while."
"Well, learning to deal with the ups and downs of life in a positive way is a big part of what I work on here. Have you eve-"
The woman was cut off with Felicity's phone buzzed. "Sorry, it might be Oliver." The therapist waved for her to check it, not that Felicity needed her to since she'd already had the phone out reading the message. It was from Oliver.
'Meet me at the hospital right after you get out of therapy.'
Felicity dropped the phone, but then quickly snapped back and headed out the door. "Sorry, I have to go." When she got to the door she said, "See, one small hill up, one big one down."
She ran into the hospital and up to the NICU, not even having to look for signs because she had the directions burned into her mind. She got there in less than three minutes and was surprised to see Oliver, not with a frown, but with a smile. He was playing with Mia's toes as she waved her arms around.
Felicity came up behind him and asked, "What's wrong?" Making him jump.
He turned to her, then checked his watch. "Isn't your appointment another half hour?"
"Well, you texted me to meet you at the hospital, and so here I am. What's wrong?"
"I didn't mean to worry you. It's not bad news, I promise. Its good news, great new actually."
Felicity waited for Oliver to tell her what was so great, but he just stood there.
"So, what's the great news?" She asked.
"Mia had reached the 48th percentile for her weight and now that she is not breathing or eating through a tube, the doctors say she's ready to come home."
Felicity squealed then jumped into Oliver's arms.