Author's Note: Hello everyone! Thanks again for all your lovely feedback for the previous chapter! It really has motivated me to push through my writing ruts and keep churning out chapters for all of you!

Amazing Betas: Penthesileia, Not_Towa_Wakasa

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Chapter 37: Numb

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Kagome

The water rushed around her, her ankles brushing against riverbed plants and slippery, freshwater fish as they swam by. The water was cold, but Inuyasha's chest was warm. His hand was gripped tightly around her back, his fingers tangled in her hair as he held her head firmly above water. Her teeth chattered. A numbness had slowly begun to seep into her fingers and toes, and she wished fervidly that it had started instead at her throbbing hip and ribs.

She wanted to cry out every time Inuyasha's powerful arm pushed them forward, every time his legs kicked them closer and closer to where she'd initially fallen in. She bit her lip instead, drawing blood.

Shippou was sitting in the shallow edge of the river, his little hands gripping onto a rock as he watched Inuyasha tow Kagome back towards the embankment. She wanted to reach out to him, to let him know she was okay, but she was too cold, her limbs too numb, her hips and back too sore. She settled for the best smile she could muster, which wasn't much, but she did notice the relief on his face.

"Oi, you washed up?" Inuyasha yelled over the water. Shippou shook his head but immediately began to rinse himself off once he seemed satisfied Kagome was safe. He dunked his head under the water and started to rub his hands through his hair. He was done quickly, and pulled himself onto the grass, shaking the excess water off his body, just like a wild fox might.

Once they reached the edge, Inuyasha loosened his grip on her, and Kagome brought her trembling hands up to cover her breasts, despite the pain it caused. She hoped Inuyasha couldn't see her blush in the dark.

What are you even worried about? This isn't the time to be self-conscious, just focus on getting clean and then getting warm!

"Runt," Inuyasha growled over her chattering teeth, "You remember where the cave is? Go back and get a fire started."

"I can do it!" Shippou shouted.

"Go then, make sure it's big. Hurry!"

"I'm going!"

Inuyasha turned back to her. She could barely make his face out in the dark. "Kagome, grab onto the rock," he said, taking her hand in his and moving it to the rock himself. "Don't let go. I have to grab the shards real quick." He lept out of the water in one fluid motion. She could hear him ruffling through the pile of his clothing.

Kagome's arms trembled with the effort to hold herself in place. This was ridiculous, she felt so weak. Weaker than she normally did. She just wanted to lay down by a roaring fire wrapped up in her sleeping bag and doze off. She was sleepy… so sleepy...

She heard the tear of fabric, and then Inuyasha was back at the embankment, slipping into the water next to her, more silent than she would have thought possible. The jewel shards were in his cupped hand, the glow lit his body up as he re-submerged, and she couldn't help but notice in her half-awake state that he hadn't been naked like she was. He had on boxer briefs. No fair! She wanted to giggle, she could feel it bubbling up through her lips.

He drew his brows together in concern, cocking his head to the side. "What are you laughing at?"

"Boxer briefs," she said, giggling again. Oh my gosh, her ribs hurt. That thought made her laugh even more.

"Oi, you going crazy or what?" he growled, moving closer and leaning over her.

That's when she noticed the open wound in his chest. She reached out slowly to touch the irritated skin around it, but she couldn't keep her grip on the rock with one hand.

A squeak escaped her lips as her footing slipped out from under her, her chin dipping below the surface before Inuyasha grabbed onto her arm and kept her up.

"What are you doing?" he snapped, his lip pulled back in disgust.

"You're hurt!" she said, water sputtering from her lips. "What happened?"

"Keh, don't worry about it!" He leaned in and sniffed, eyes widening as he pulled back a little. "Shit," he said. "You'll be frozen soon. We have to get this gunk off you."

"Mmm," Kagome said. Inuyasha had such a nice voice. It was sad, that his voice was so nice but his chest had a hole in it. His hair was also nice. It was plastered to his face, wet and heavy. It made his ears look bigger. She wanted to touch them again. Not yank them like she did earlier, but to really touch them. Would he let her, if she tried?

She reached a hand up even though it hurt, although really, it didn't hurt so much anymore. The pain was kind of fuzzy, and less sharp, and…

She was shocked when he slapped her hand away.

"Hey," she said weakly.

He shook her shoulder, and her brain snapped back momentarily.

"Kagome, stay with me. You're losing it."

"I'm fine," she said, waving his concern away although fear jolted through her. She was sure she still had feet, but she couldn't feel them.

"You're not fine, you're acting like an idiot." He waved the shards in front of her face. "Can you hold them or are your fingers too numb?"

"No, I can hold them," she said, teeth chattering.

"Dammit," he cursed, dropping them into her open hand. "why are you so fucking cold?"

"I-it's gotta be the goo," she said as he pulled her back out to deeper water.

"Fucking youkai. That thing was a piece of work. I've never seen anything like it. Hold your breath," he directed before slowly maneuvering her head underwater.

Kagome closed her eyes as she dipped under, trusting him to keep hold of her. She felt his hands through her hair, gently rubbing what remained of the youkai away before lifting her back up. He focused on her face next, wiping the rest of the residue away that he hadn't gotten earlier, when he had rescued her - again - and pressed his lips to hers.

Another giggle threatened to escape, thinking of his lips on her own.

Inuyasha shot her another concerned look, but he didn't ask. "This stuff is fucking gross," he said instead, "here, lift up your arm." He lifted it out of the water for her, wiping away at her skin.

"S-sorry," she said, the tiredness seeping back into her. Sleep. Yeah, she wanted to sleep. She was so tired. She needed to keep a good grip on the shards, because Inuyasha told her to and she didn't want him to think she was more of an idiot than he already thought she was. She watched under hooded eyes as he worked diligently. "Sorry that I'm so weak."

"Shut up."

It was probably meant to sound harsher than it did, because he refused to look at her. It was too late. He already thought she was an idiot. Weak and an idiot.

"No, I'm s-sorry," she insisted, "I r-really am. If I w-wasn't s-so weak-"

"Kagome, seriously, shut up and save your damn energy, okay?"

"M-mhm," she muttered, giving up and allowing him to work in silence. When he was done with the first arm, he lifted the second. Her fingers were still wrapped tightly around the shards.

Finally done, he pulled her back towards the grassy, muddy edge. She relaxed and let him pull her in. If she closed her eyes, she could almost imagine she was floating on the river that her parents used to take her to when she was young. She barely registered that he pulled her out of the water. She barely registered that he wrapped her in his fire-rat coat.

He was saying her name. Well, she thought he was, maybe… She couldn't really make out what he was saying, but it was definitely his voice. She couldn't really see him anymore, he was a big, white blur. She could almost make out the wound on his chest, though.

...How had he gotten that wound?

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Burning.

She was burning.

Her head was burning up.

Pain at her hip, pain at her shoulder, pain thrusting its fingers through her ribs and she was unable to scream.

A cool towel on her forehead. A whisper in her ear. A chant, really. A language that was familiar but was impossible to understand. Claws brushing through her hair, fingertips rubbing at her temples.

His name was on the tip of her tongue. She wanted to call out to him. It was his voice whispering to her, it was his voice chanting the strange words she couldn't place. She was in so much pain.

It lasted forever.

And then she opened her eyes.

A rocky, cracked ceiling, with deep, dark shadows flickering along with the fire that burned at the mouth of the cave. She was on her back, her sleeping bag tucked tightly around her shoulders.

"What…" she asked, but her throat was dry and her voice cracked.

She heard shuffling off to her side, and turned her head, squinting towards the fire. Inuyasha stepped inside and placed an armful of firewood at the edge, feeding the flames with each log he threw in.

"Inuyasha?" she called out to him. His head snapped up and his eyes widened.

"Oi, you're awake," he said moving to her side and kneeling down beside her.

"What… what happened?" she asked as he grabbed for a bottle of water.

"Don't you remember anything?" He placed his hand under her back and helped her to sit up. Her sleeping bag slid down, gathering at her waist and exposing her torso.

The air hit her skin and she looked down. Her breasts and ribs were bandaged tightly, so were her hips. She blushed furiously and grabbed at the sleeping bag, bringing it up to cover her chest.

"I'm… naked…" she said, face beet red.

"Yeah, well, I had to get to your wounds. Your ribs were definitely broken, you're lucky none of them punctured a lung. And your hip was in bad shape too." He tightened his jaw as he handed the bottle of water to her. "What the fuck did that thing do to you?"

Kagome reached a hand out and took the bottle from him. He'd opened the top for her, and she eagerly drank from it, nearly draining the whole thing before moving it away from her lips.

"It grabbed me and lifted me up pretty high. When I shot it with the arrow it dropped me," she said. "I was actually pretty lucky I hit all those branches on the way down, a drop straight to the ground might have killed me."

Inuyasha's fingers had tightened into fists, a muscle working at his jaw. "I have to recheck your wounds," he finally said.

Kagome stared at him, the realization of what he'd done finally clicking into place. "You… you healed me?" she asked, "Like how you healed Sango and Hojou?"

He didn't answer.

"Was I really that far gone?"

"You'd gone into hypothermia, basically. I had to…" he cleared his throat, his eyes flicking away from hers, "I had to use my body heat to get you warm before I could even attempt to heal your wounds."

"I… uh…" the thought of his naked body pressed up against hers, together in the sleeping bag caused her to forget what she was going to say.

"Healing your insides took a long time though. You've been out for a week."

"A week?" she cried, eyes widening.

He huffed and sat back, one knee propped up and his hands supporting his weight behind him. "Remember what I told you before? About how I was pretty sure Kikyou's magic would start to weaken once she was unable to re-weave the mirror spell?"

Kagome nodded.

"It's happening. I couldn't tell at first, 'cause since entering Wolf Territory there've been enough deep caves for us to take shelter in. The sun hasn't been able to reach me at daytime, so I didn't have a chance to test the theory. But after the runt freed me from the arrow and I sifted to where you were…." his voice trailed off, his eyes glazing over as if he were living that moment all over again.

"What happened?" she asked after a few seconds of silence.

He shook his head, back to the present, "I came in off-mark. I had you pinpointed, I should have been able to sift right next to you, but I was way off."

"You got close enough, though. I mean, you got to me in time."

"Barely," he growled, bringing his hand up to run his fingers through his hair. The corners of his mouth were pulled down, his brows drawn together. "Only a few seconds later, and..." he was gone again, back to that moment.

Kagome wondered what it had looked like to him, appearing only to see her being strangled to death. She tried to smile. She wanted to comfort him somehow. "I'm fine. You saved me. You don't have anything to worry about, I can still help you find the jewel shards. We can still break the mirror spell."

He didn't speak, eventually getting up from her side and rummaging through her backpack for something.

Kagome took the chance to look around the cave. It was a different one than the one they had taken shelter in before Inuyasha had run off after the squirrel. It was wider, and when Kagome glanced outside, she couldn't see any sloping forest ground. It was dark out, but the floor seemed to stop abruptly at the mouth of the cave.

Then it clicked. "Where's Shippou?" she asked, eyes widening in fear. The last she'd seen of him Inuyasha had ordered him back to the cave to get a fire started.

"Keh, little shit's out scouting the area a bit. It's dumb because I've got the area under control, but he keeps going on and on about being brave and he won't fucking shut up about it."

Kagome tried to hide her smile but failed. "It's because you told him he was."

"I doubt it," he snorted, standing triumphantly from her bag holding a packet of instant noodles. "He wouldn't keep his hands off of you once I got you back into that cave, I had to threaten to tear his throat out if he didn't leave you alone."

"Hey, be nice to him-"

"It was for your own good, I had zero time to deal with him being a blubbering idiot," he said, pouring another bottle of water into the steel cup he held in his hands and breaking the ramen into small bits to fit in as well.

"Couldn't you just ask him to stop?"

"He's a youkai, Kagome, not a human. Youkai are predatory, all of our instincts run on dominant and submissive signals. Just asking him to stop was not going to do it."

"But he's so young."

"Doesn't matter." Inuyasha held the cup over the edge of the fire, the contents inside slowly cooking. "Youkai is youkai."

"Well when will he get back?" she asked, wincing as she tried to turn and face him some more. "I want to thank him for helping me.

"Don't thank him," he growled, his lip pulling up, baring a fang, "he pinned me to a fucking tree and then attracted that fucked-up youkai. You almost died because of that little shit."

Kagome could see the frustration clearly on his face. She paused. Her wording would be important and she didn't want to push him to anger. "He lost his mom, you know," she finally said, eyes locked on his face for any signs of change, "both his parents are gone."

Inuyasha didn't say anything, but his back stiffened and his frown deepened.

"He was crying out for his mom when I found him. Both his parents are dead. He's just a lost little child, Inuyasha. He's scared, even though he doesn't want to admit it."

He pulled the cup away from the fire and set it down next to him, allowing it to cool. Kagome could smell the familiar aroma of cooked noodles and chicken spice. Her stomach growled, noting how hungry she was.

"So what's that got to do with us?" he replied, looking down at the cup, his brows still knotted together. "Youkai are violent by nature. A lot of us live without our parents."

Kagome's eyes widened, her heart twisting in her chest. She hadn't really thought of it, the idea that Inuyasha may not have parents himself. She had just assumed one of his parents were still alive, what with him being hanyou and all.

"Runt is just a byproduct of youkai nature," he said, checking the contents of the cup before standing and bringing it to Kagome. "He'll struggle to survive, and he either will or he won't. Fox youkai aren't like Inu youkai, or like Wolf youkai. They're not a pack creature, they stay as smaller families, and usually stay solitary when the rest of their family dies off."

Kagome took the cup and inhaled, picking up the chopsticks he'd shoved in and swirling the noodles around, thinking about what he said. It didn't seem like he knew Shippou had been taking shelter with the wolves. She wasn't sure if she should tell him or not, but decided to tuck the information away, when the time was right. She didn't want him to chase Shippou away, not before she got the chance to talk to the little fox herself.

"Eat quickly," he said sitting next to her again. "I need to check your wounds to make sure the ointment is working."

She was still sore, but, "I thought you healed me?"

"Keh, yeah, your insides, although it took forever. I don't have Kaede's powers to draw from, and as I said, my own are weakening. I couldn't do much about your bruises. The ointment should work on those eventually." He reached out and brushed his fingers across her collarbone, and Kagome's eyes fluttered up to meet his.

There was something in his gaze she couldn't place, and her thoughts wandered to when he had pulled her close to him, when she had pulled him down towards her, demanding he kiss her.

And he had.

He'd kissed her.

Her face felt hot, she knew she was flushed. It was crazy, that just his touch could do that to her. But isn't that what she'd decide as he answered her with his kiss? Didn't she decided that she couldn't live another day without him touching her as he was now?

"Eat," he said, pulling away from her.

She ate. Once her stomach was full and happy, Inuyasha pulled out the ointment and moved to her other side, scooting close to her so he could get a better look.

"Raise your arm," he instructed. She did as she was told. He ran his claw slowly down her side, careful not to knick her skin. Kagome held the bandaging at her chest, still somewhat embarrassed that she was laid so bare to him. For what it was worth, he held his gaze steady, his eyes focused on her bruise.

She gasped when she saw it - a deep, ugly purple and black, splotched and angry. It blossomed out from her right side, like ink spots or dark watercolor, and moved under her breasts where she couldn't see it.

"Oh," she breathed, "that looks bad."

He huffed, "bad is an understatement. Although it actually looks better than when I first got a good look at 'em." He dipped his fingers into the ointment and began to spread it evenly over her blotted skin.

She hissed as he worked it over her. "It's cold," she said.

"Suck it up."

Kagome bit her lip, watching him work. He was being gentle again. Treating her as if she were breakable. As if she were glass.

...What was he thinking right now? Was he remembering their kiss? Was he playing it back in his head, like she was? Did he want her to pull him in again? To kiss him again?

She had done it out of pure relief before, that he'd come for her. That he'd saved her. But maybe she'd been too forward, even though he'd responded?

Argh, she needed to cool it. Despite her promise to him that she'd resist whatever it was she was feeling, it wasn't so easy to do. And now that she was safe and not delirious from almost dying, and then from the bitter cold she felt while covered in the youkai goop… Why was it still so hard? Why was she still struggling so much?

It didn't help that he was treating her so gently. Even though he had his motives, he didn't have to be so nice to her. He didn't have to treat her like she mattered.

When he was done with her side, he moved to her hips, cutting away at the bandages, and carefully treating the matching bruise. He helped her to re-bandage her wound, careful to keep his eyes averted.

Once done, she was instructed again to sleep, and given a mug of Kaede's tea. It helped to calm her nerves, to drift her eyes shut, wound up in the sleeping bag as she was. Inuyasha stood at the mouth of the cave, keeping watch.

As she drifted off, she couldn't help the rejection she felt. She wouldn't have minded if he'd tried to glance her way while she was so exposed to him.

She wouldn't have minded at all.

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The youkai held her up. High up above the trees. The air was brutally cold up there, it whipped her hair around her face, forcibly blowing it this way and that. She tried to push it away from her eyes, to see where the tentacle came from.

That same pitch-black darkness, that nothingness her eyes could not penetrate. Her arms shook as she nocked her arrow. As she drew back. Her powers welled up inside her, they moved fluidly from her chest, into her arms and towards the arrowhead, lighting it up, the only heat in the dark.

She released.

Inuyasha flew from the treetops, arching across the sky below her. His claws were extended as he leapt, his eyes down on his prey.

Her arrow careened down.

She screamed his name, warned him to get out of the way.

It struck him in the back. It pushed through his fire rat coat and his skin, and exploded from the other side, his guts spraying out onto the darkness below him. She could smell his burnt flesh as he turned in midair, his eyes wide and horrified with betrayal.

He fell.

Down, down, down into that darkness. He disappeared inside it. Swallowed up whole.

"NO!" She screamed, struggling to break free. She didn't mean to! She didn't mean to! She had no idea he was there, he should have been safe, pinned to the tree! He should have been safe!

"Inuyasha!" she cried, her face soaked with her tears. What was the point of living anymore? What was the point of fighting?

It shot out the darkness, a second tentacle. An incredible speed, too fast for her to see. It struck her in her stomach. Straight through. Just like her arrow had to Inuyasha.

She could feel it inside her, moving around where her organs should be. She could feel it throbbing and pushing, could feel her blood rushing out from her wound, pouring over her hips and down the tentacle.

A third reached up above her, and her head tilted back to watch it, sure that any moment now she'd be free of the pain she felt. This one was thicker. Something was inside of it, moving around, stretching the skin, desperate to break free.

A hand thrust through the blubber, clawing its way outside. He emerged from the appendage, white hair stained with blood and guts, ears torn and limp, eyes red and fangs protruded.

He had broken free. His stomach was gaped open to match her own, his skin charred where her powers had burned through him.

"Inu...yasha…?" she called out to him, raising a shaking hand. If she could just touch him… touch him before her eyes died out to the rest of the world…

But he was part of the youkai now, his sense of self gone.

The jewel… it was that same depraved voice, although his lips moved to match the words. The jewel… It is mine… give it to me…

Inuyasha reached out a clawed hand and wrapped his fingers around the glass vial. He yanked it from her neck, causing her body to jerk forward. Blood sprayed from her lips, splattering against his face.

He didn't even blink.

He reached out his other hand and pressed his fingers in between her lips. Past her teeth, her jaw forced open. He pushed in, down her throat, shoving and shoving, and she knew this was it. Her body was no longer her own. She too would become a monster.

His fingers pressed in further, tearing her throat open.

She screamed.

"Dammit, wake up!"

His red eyes were over her, his hands reaching for her. Kagome jerked back, flipping onto her stomach and desperately trying to crawl away. Her fingernails scratched against the ground, her legs tangled in the tentacle - no - her sleeping bag. Her face was wet and her chest heaving, her sobs echoing against the cave walls.

"Oi, Kagome!" he shouted, leaping over her head and blocking off her exit.

She pressed herself up, sitting away from him, her legs still tied together. Her eyes found his.

They weren't red, they were gold, and soaked with concern. He held his hands up, a physical sign that he wasn't going to hurt her.

"You know where you are?" he asked, his voice low and calm.

"I…" she breathed between sobs, "I… I'm in the cave," she said, the world around her finally connecting the pieces and making sense again. Inuyasha's shoulders visibly relaxed, his hands dropping slightly.

"And you know who I am?"

She nodded, her eyes filling with tears. Her nightmare had been horrifying. She had felt every part of it. Her powers releasing, the tentacle thrusting itself through her body, Inuyasha's fingers forcing their way down her throat…

She brought shaking hands up to her face, her sobs turning to panicked breaths, faster and faster as the nightmare flared again behind her eyes.

"S-sorry," she cried, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" It was all her fault. Everything was her fault. Everyone was going to die because of her, everyone was going to die. She didn't want to do it anymore. She wanted to go home. She didn't want to see everyone she knew wiped out by the evil that had shown itself, and really, just her and Inuyasha against… against that…

He was strong, but he was also somewhat under Kikyou's control. If she managed to catch up with them… if she managed to take him back…

His hands were on her then, wrapping her up in them, the way he had when he'd rescued her from the youkai. He held her close to his chest, applying pressure as her breathing accelerated.

"Hey, it's okay," he whispered in her ear, a growl rumbling inside him. "It's okay Kagome, it's okay. You're safe."

"I'm sorry, I thought you were... I thought-"

"It's okay, just breathe. Focus on my breathing. Breathe with me."

She nodded, sucking in air as he did through her nose, long and deep. It took a few tries before she caught on to his pattern, and she struggled to keep his slow pace. But he stayed with her. She was leaning back against him, his cheek resting lightly on her head, his arms allowing her to breathe yet iron-solid and unyielding, as if worried she'd make another break for the cave entrance.

Slowly, slowly her heart calmed, the rhythm almost matching his. She breathed in deep with him, her tears lessening as the nightmare became just that.

"I'm okay," she finally said. "I'm okay now."

"Nightmare?" he asked, arms staying in place.

She nodded again. She didn't want to tell him what he had done, didn't want the image in his head, like it was in hers. "The youkai, with the tentacles…"

"It can't get to you here," he said, growling again, deep in his chest. It was comforting. It calmed her. She wondered if he was doing it on purpose.

"I know. I know, I just… It was so real."

"You want me to make you some tea?"

She shook her head, the panic slowly creeping back in. "No. No, I don't want to sleep. I don't want to sleep anymore."

"Okay," he said, trying to quell her rising panic. His growl vibrated against her back. "No tea. I should probably change your bandages again anyway."

Yes. Anything but sleep right now. She nodded, and he slowly moved from her side. The fire had died down and daylight streamed in through the mouth of the cave. Inuyasha had moved everything back away from the sunlight while she slept. Now he rummaged through her pack, searching for the ointment.

She expected him to kneel at her side like he had when he changed her bandages before, but he returned instead behind her, his legs coming around either side and pulling her back against his chest again.

She couldn't help the swell of yearning that threatened to overwhelm her. What was he doing, being so kind again? She wanted more.

As she relaxed into him, he moved her arm, and slowly ripped away the bandage. He stilled for a moment, probably waiting for her to cover herself like she had earlier.

She didn't.

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Hope you all enjoyed! See you next Sunday!

~SugarRos