A/N: So I somehow lost the entire document this was in. Thankfully, it was on a flash drive. Have any of y'all seen Shadowhunters?

36: Magnus

A soft tug on my hand snags my attention away from Alec. I wasn't done apologizing yet. He needs to know just how stupid I am for leaving him and just how sorry I am for doing it.

When I look down, Max is staring up at me with his innocent, wide blue eyes. They might not be related, but he reminds me of Alec right now.

"Why'd you leave me with him?" he asks.

"I needed to talk to Alec about something very important. Did he hurt you?" I reply, dropping to Max's level.

My muscles twinge a little at the movement. I am never speaking to, much less looking at, Camille Belcourt again.

"He touched me," Max replies.

"He molested you?" I ask.

Max's slow nod makes me sick.

"I'm so sorry, Max. If I'd known he would do that, I wouldn't have left you," I tell him.

"He hurt me," Max tells me.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean for him to hurt you. He hurt me too."

"Really?"

"Right after Alec adopted me. I really am sorry, Max. Forgive me?"

He hugs me. I've missed this warm little munchkin.

"Max, honey, take Chairman Meow over to your blanket while I get Magnus in a room. Okay?" Alec says, laying a gentle hand on Max's back.

Max agrees happily.

I set my bags by Max before following Alec into an exam room.

"How long have you been working here? What did Jace do? I didn't mean for him to hurt Max. I'm sorry. For everything," I say.

"Since a couple days after we broke up. He forced Max to perform oral sex on him. Raphael did the same. He doesn't like having his head touched because of it. He let me at first, unless it was washing his hair, but he told me once he got more comfortable what happened. Mags, you couldn't have predicted Jace doing that. I know you are. I forgive you," he tells me,

"Is Max getting along with you? Um, can I have a gown?"

"We get along good. He's still not that comfortable with me, but I understand why. Yeah. What happened to you?"

He has to help me undress. My left arm's pretty useless right now.

"Camille isn't a good person. I knew she wasn't. She has temper tantrums, and I'm an easy outlet for her anger. I thought maybe if I was with her, I could learn to love her instead of pining after you all the time. She beat me a lot. And, um, sex might be on hold again. She didn't sell me. She's kinky, and I hurt really bad from it," I murmur.

"Are these burns?" he asks, examining the small, round, red patches on my thighs.

"Cigarette burns. She thought it was funny."

"Where's your anxiety been? Have you been hurting yourself?"

"I haven't been okay. At all. Sometimes."

"Have you been taking your pills? Where? What have you been doing?"

"No. She banned me. My arms. I've been biting and scratching myself."

"Do you wanna start therapy again? I'm not mad at you. Thank you for being up front with me."

"Let me see how I do being back home. I already feel better since I'm around you."

"I'm glad. I'm gonna go get Catarina. Love you."

"Love you too."

I'm very glad to get the exam over with. I was right about sex being postponed. It's not really important to me, though. I know Alec will love me anyway. Thankfully, none of my injuries are very severe and nothing I haven't had before. This is probably the sixth time I've had broken ribs in one year and the third broken arm.

"Hey, babe. All done?" Alec says, smiling when I step out of the exam room.

"Yeah. Is it okay if I'm here?" I reply, leaning on the desk.

"Should be. Could we maybe go to dinner tonight? Izzy can watch Max."

"I'd love to. I wanna catch up on your life. Does Max get a choice?"

"I like Izzy. It's funny when she tries to cook," Max chimes in.

"He has a point. You haven't eaten anything she cooks, have you?"

"No, it smells bad."

"How's your arm?" Alec asks, gesturing to the sling.

"Had to have it set. It's in a cast," I reply.

"No anesthetic?"

"I told her not to knock me out. I can handle it."

"Did you get painkillers for later?"

"Yeah. Where do you wanna go tonight?"

"Someplace quiet."

"Taki's?"

"Sounds good."

"I've missed your face."

I caress his face gently. He leans in and kisses me softly.

"I've missed being able to do that," I whisper.

"I've missed you more than I've ever missed anyone before," he replies.

I play with Max while Alec works. It's mostly just the three of us in the waiting room. It's nice to be able to spend time with them.

Sleepy, Max crawls into my lap and snuggles against my chest. He wraps his thin arms around my neck. Yawning hugely, he nestles his head against my neck. He's purring softly.

"Aww! Can I take a picture of this? He adores you," Alec says, smiling.

"Go ahead. He really is a sweetie. Glad he's not purple anymore," I reply, rubbing Max's back gently.

"I am too. He's a good kid."

Max doesn't protest when we leave him with Izzy.

"So what have I missed?" I ask, taking Alec's hand gently.

"Jace got put in jail for hurting Max. He bailed out and he's living with his girlfriend. Raphael got sentenced to fifteen years. Um, Jonathan fired me. He offered to hook me up with a hybrid brothel. I told him no," he replies.

"Why'd he fire you? Is it because of me? Why didn't you?"

"Business dropped and I had the least seniority, so it wasn't your fault. Because I won't do it with someone I don't love, especially if I'm trying to get over the person I do love. And, to me, it's not much different than rape. I mean, they're not really consenting to it. It's their job, so they do it. I didn't even date anyone while we were broken up. The idea felt too much like cheating. What'd I miss in your life?"

"Are you mad at me for living with Camille? After I left, I went straight to her and asked if I could move in. I didn't really know what else to do. I got my GED. We weren't a couple. I was her punching bag and something she could screw whenever the mood struck her. I didn't love her. Or like her. Or lust for her. I was desperate and afraid. Nobody really wants to hire me because I'm a hybrid."

"Magnus, the way you moved on after you left scared me. I thought maybe you just forgot about me because I wasn't as important to you as I thought. Or that maybe you didn't really love me. I'm proud of you for getting it. Did you consent to it? I keep hoping people will stop being so prejudiced."

"Alexander, you're the most important thing in the world to me. You always have been, and you always will be. I should have never believed Jace. He knew you longer than I have and I thought he truly knew what would be better for you. I've always thought I wasn't good enough for you to love me. Or date me. I love you with every beat of my damaged heart. No. I never wanted it. She tore me up really good. What have I missed with Max and Izzy?"

"Jace doesn't even know what's best for himself, much less someone else. Mags, you're more than good enough. I love you too. I'm sorry, baby. Are you okay? Mentally, I mean? I'll listen. Max goes to a school for hybrids from nine to three. He loves it. He has a playdate tomorrow with an inu boy. He loves books and his Matchbox cars. Simon and Izzy are still together. Izzy's talking about either fashion design or going to beauty school and doing makeup for movies."

"I think I'm okay. Is he going to the boy's house or is the boy coming to us? I think Izzy would be good at it."

"The boy's coming to our house. His name's Kai. I've met his owners and seen how they treat him. They're very good to him, and they're nice to Max. I'm not ready for him to go to someone else's house. What if they hurt him?"

"What time's he coming over? You really care about Max, don't you? If they hurt him, they'll be in really deep crap."

"Noon. He has attention issues. He's a shiba-Chihuahua mix. His father was the Chi. His parents are mates. I love the little guy. He's hard not to love."

"I'm gonna be by myself with two kids? I can handle Max. What do you even do with two of them?"

"I'm off tomorrow and Sunday. You play with them and talk to them and feed them."

He holds the door open for me.

"How did you handle me being gone?" I ask.

"I cried myself to sleep the first few nights. You?" he replies.

I knew I hurt Alec. I didn't realize how badly I hurt him, though.

"I never stopped wanting to come back to you. I cried some, mostly when she was gone. She broke my phone because you and Izzy kept texting me," I tell him.

"I kept wracking my brain to find some way I might've made you feel like you're not good enough. We'll get you a new phone tonight. Are you gonna follow through with your plan to go to cosmetology school?"

"I want to, but I'm not sure."

"I'll support you all the way if that's what you want to do."

It's easier for us to fall back into our easy rhythm than I expected. I had fully expected him to hate me.

"Izzy put Max to bed for us," Alec tells me as we leave Taki's.

"Is she mad at me?" I ask.

"For breaking my heart? Probably. For us getting back together? I doubt it."

Izzy's in her room when we get back to the apartment.

"Now it's home again," Alec murmurs.

"I still have the love letter," I tell him.

He seems surprised by this.

"Why'd you save it?" he asks.

"Because it meant a lot to me that you care so much," I reply.

He leans in and kisses me gently. I didn't realize just how much I missed his kisses until today. Or how much I missed his scent or the way his raven-black hair feels like silk to my fingertips.

It quickly turns into a make-out session on the couch. His hands clutch tightly at my back. When we need to catch our breath, I turn my attention to marking the porcelain skin of his throat.

"Do you want to stop?" I ask suddenly, pulling back to look at him.

"If you do. I'm perfectly fine with this if you are," he replies, smiling up at me.

"I don't wanna stop, but I don't want sex either."

"Then we won't have it."

I'm not sure how long we stay here. I don't want to move. If I get up, this might all be a dream.

When we finally go to bed, I'm the one spooning him for once. It bothers me that I've nearly forgotten how perfectly he fits against my chest.

"We're like two puzzle pieces," I whisper, nuzzling his hair.

Sighing sleepily, he snuggles back against me. He cannot get any cuter.

For the first time in three long months, my life is perfect. Max is safe and happy. Alec and I are together again. Jace moved out. Things really can't get much better.