Lost

Alice's birthday came a week later. She turned fourteen, and was lovelier than ever. Those looks, those damn good looks. Her body was changing, leaving some of the childish shapes behind to make way for her final womanly figure. She turned even more heads as she walked by, caught more attention. There would soon begin real competition between the local boys for her, yet she didn't seem interested in any of them.

Against everyone's advice, Aro decided to get her a present. His brothers fought hard to dissuade him from paying her whole school year, or buying her a Ferrari, or the little cottage that was being built outside town. After a lot of struggle, he settled for a dress and a box full of books. My brother was sent to check on her after Aro left the presents in her room (he knew by now that if he tried to deliver them in person he would end up returning home with them), and reported to Aro that she had kept them. However, later he told me that she had spent a good part of the night pacing around her room, every now and then looking at the spot where she'd hidden the bag with the gifts.

A lot of meetings were now held without Aro, because sooner or later the conversation would go to how to get Alice and how to seduce her; no one could afford wasting time on that. It was the only way we could get our system to go on working, and to stay focused in things that really mattered. Though no matter how diverse or pressing other matters were, everyone would eventually end up talking about her, Aro's absence gave us the chance to discuss situations that would have angered him.

"She has changed a lot. She now dresses, I don't know, more conservatively, more covered up. I think… I think she's somehow feeling pressured. I wouldn't like to use the word 'threatened', but I do believe this whole ordeal with Aro is having an effect on her."

"Well, it's December… people are supposed to be covered up…"

"You know I don't mean just the weather. It's the attitude, the way she walks faster and looks all around with each step she takes. She's a very strong girl, but this is really getting to her. She's frightened."

"But isn't she exaggerating? I mean, if she didn't like Aro's attention she would have already spoken up, wouldn't she? Her parents, a teacher, why, maybe even the police. Perhaps she's just playing hard-to-get."

"Oh, for God's sake, how can you say that? She's being harassed, she's being stalked, there is no way she could possibly enjoy such a thing. Believe me, this is no game for her. Besides, there's something else. She's been having nightmares."

"Nightmares? Are you sure?"

"Well, her sleep is restless, she twists, she moves a lot; one night I even heard her whimper. And then, when she wakes up in the middle of the night, she looks rather startled and nervous. It takes quite some time for her to fall asleep again."

Debates could last hours. Aro was growing more anxious with each passing day; he became irritable, moody, and singularly bad-tempered. He and Alice didn't talk for a week after her birthday; there were a couple of days without any events, until he decided to meet her on her way from a friend's house. When he returned from that encounter, his eyes were gleaming. He came into the main hall, sat down with a happy sigh, and shared the news.

"I proposed to her."

The world stopped. Caius and Marcus looked up from their newspapers.

"You what?"

"I proposed to her. You know, got down on one knee, gave her a ring. Asked her to marry me. Proposed."

"But… why?"

"It seemed the only way. I need her, I need her more than anything in my life, and I thought that if I offered something formal, something stable, she would accept more easily. Women like that sort of formality."

"But… she's human… what about our secret-"

"She knows."

"What!?"

The silence could be heard everywhere. It was obvious that the whole wing of the castle had heard and now held their breath, waiting for the next catastrophe. Oh no. Oh no. He can't have told her. That's… that's betrayal, that is punished by our laws, that's… How could he?

"She knows. Don't ask me why, I didn't tell her anything. The third time I talked to her, she knew. Apparently she has read every single book there is on Earth: there are many volumes with legends about vampires, witches, and other magic in her room; I can only guess she connected the dots."

Caius was furious. "You must have shown her something! You must have done something to awaken her suspicions. And why haven't you denied it? Did you accept the fact that she knows, just like that? My God, are you aware of what that could mean for us? All of us? This could be the end! This could be it!"

"It won't. She says she doesn't care, and I know she wouldn't do anything to hurt us. Besides, what could she actually do, anyway? She surely knows she's overpowered here, so she'll be careful with what she does or says. Our secret is safe with Alice. But the point is that she knows, and therefore she can come with me. In due time, she will be one of us. Oh, she'll make a fantastic vampire, don't you think? With her beauty, her wits, that potential she has, oh, she'll be wonderful."

So I'll have to put up with her forever? Please, no. By the exchange of looks around the place I could tell that many shared my thoughts; the news of her knowing our secret had been taken by everyone as a personal blow. It would take a while for us to actually forgive Aro for that, and many were now feeling uncomfortable or even threatened by the idea of her coming with us.

Marcus looked as if he had a thousand things to say, but no idea as to how. He sighed, and for a moment he actually appeared to be thousands of years old. He folded his newspaper carefully before speaking. "Well, well, well, and what did she have to say about this proposal of yours?"

"The usual: she's too young, she needs time. She'll have to think of a better excuse if she means to keep me away. She's now saying that, given the fact that I have unlimited time available, there is no hurry for her to decide. 'What's five years to you?' she says. 'If you do love me as much as you say you can afford to wait for me'."

"She's got a point."

"No, she doesn't! I need her now, right now. She's perfect for me just as she is. We keep no secrets from each other now. I know everything there is to know about her, and she knows it all about me as well."

"You have no idea who she is, Aro. All that spying and stalking is nothing. You don't know her at all, and when you finally do it will be too late for both of you."

Aro stormed out, angry as a spoiled child who has been denied a toy. We simply waited for his tantrum to pass, giving it little or no importance.

If I had known, oh, if only I had known what was coming, if I'd read between the lines, if I'd understood, if I'd seen.

"Alice."

She stops, doesn't turn around. She knows it's him. She looks around, makes sure there are more people with them, and finally faces him.

"Hello, Aro."

"I won't take long. I just wanted to know whether you'd reconsidered my proposal."

"I told you I needed time."

"And I've given it to you."

"A week?"

She is right, perhaps he's rushing. But he loves her, and needs an answer as soon as possible.

"What do you want? Name anything, and it is yours. A car? Jewels? Anything, Alice."

"Are you trying to buy me?"

Damn. "No, no, please don't take it that way. I seek only your happiness, your comfort. If there's anything I can get you to make you feel-"

"Aro, no more gifts. Please."

"Don't you like them?"

She takes a deep breath; he knows her well enough now to know that she does that when she's trying to remain polite while actually being very angry or exasperated. "No, I don't. It's uncomfortable for me, and it's inappropriate. I ask you, please no more gifts."

He wants to take her face in his hands and make her see that it's alright, that she mustn't be afraid, that he doesn't mean any harm. He actually reaches out to touch her. "Alice, if only you would let me explain how much I love you."

She steps back, escaping his contact, and he hears her heart accelerate when he meets her wary eyes. "Aro, come on, you don't really love me, not-"

"Oh, but I do! I love you more than anything else in the world."

"No, you don't. You've only made yourself believe it, and if I accepted you now, you would be the first one to regret it, and very soon. You're just infatuated with me, Aro, but you and I know it's not love." If it were he wouldn't be doing this to her, if he truly loved her he wouldn't be hunting her, he wouldn't make her feel like prey. This is an obsession, a sick obsession. She needs to make him understand, before it's too late. "Suppose I accepted you. We'd be together for a while and then what? I guarantee you that after two months you will have grown tired of me. I will become a bore to you, an obstacle, and then you will throw me away. What will I do then? What will become of me? You will go on with your life as if I had never happened, but I could never be the same. I will be stained. I will forever be your mistress, your… your whore." And she's worth more than that. God, there's still so much for her to live!

"No, no, no, don't say that! I could never throw you away. You are the most special being I have ever met, I love you, I adore you. I would never make a mistress of you, haven't I proposed? What I want with you is much more formal than that. I beg you, Alice, let me show you. Just give me a chance. I can make you the happiest woman on Earth. You will have everything you have ever wanted, and more. I will turn you into a queen, my queen. Say yes, please say yes, and you will have the most extraordinary life. Marry me, Alice, be my wife."

"Aro, no. I will not marry you. If you love me, if you truly love me, then stop all this and forget you ever met me. This cannot happen. It never will."

He tries to control his anger. How can she treat him like that? Who does she think she is? He looks at her, that angel face that fights its own emotions, and for a moment wonders what she would do if suddenly he grabbed her and kissed her. Oh, he so wants to kiss her; those lips would be so much better touching his own than spitting out refusals. How dare she? Insolent little girl, he should do something about the arrogance she just displayed. His hand tenses, he wants to punish her for what she has said. He realizes he's reaching out for her face, and stops himself just in time to make his blow become a caress across her cheek. She steps back again, and there's the defiance in her blue eyes. Before he does something he could regret, he climbs into his car and leaves as fast as he can. But as he drives he promises himself she will be the one to regret her actions.