Chapter Thirty-Six- The Diary
Ziva sat up in bed, unable to sleep again. She stared out the window at the moon. She wondered who left all of those things behind. It had been bugging her all night. She then speculated about whether or not this was how Gibbs was during one of his hunches. She turned around and looked at Tony and smiled a small smile. She patted his back and stood from the bed. She had to go back up there. So she did. She went up the noisy steps and went to the box that she had been about to open. She sat down, not worried about whether or not she got her pajama pants dirty. She found a black booklet and came to recognize it as a diary. She found a key on a black rope and opened the diary. She felt guilty opening it despite the fact she didn't know the person who wrote it. When she opened it she found that the pages had turned a yellow color with age. She looked at the first page and read it. To my Emily, I hope you can open up through this. She had no idea what that was supposed to mean so she turned the page and saw that it was the first entry.
August 30th 1994,
My name is Emily Horowitz and I am twelve years old. I like here in Georgetown, Washington DC. I am in middle school and I am Jewish.
Ziva smiled at this. She stood up and put the key around her neck as she continued reading.
I am starting school tomorrow and I couldn't be more excited. My best friend from Israel has just moved in with us and he is excited too. His name is Eshkol Ben-Gurion and I secretly have a crush on him. I have not told anyone that I like him. He lives in the bedroom right next to mine and every night I pray that I am able to go and see him during the night and just tell him how I feel about him.
Ziva smiled at this, thinking of Tony at that moment. She walked down the stairs and went into her bedroom. She sat underneath the window and read in the moonlight.
I get nervous every time I am around him. Ahhh! Sometimes I feel like running away and sometimes I feel like getting closer. I am so conflicted.
The entry ended there and she turned the page. She saw that she hadn't written in over two months.
October 12th 1994,
I HATE SCHOOL! People are being so cruel to my friend. They think he is some sort of terrorist. I never leave his side because I am afraid that if I do people will hurt him. Today he shed a tear. He just about cried. HE NEVER CRIES!
She looked at the next page.
October 13th 1994,
Eshkol must hate me. He didn't talk to me all day and when we got home he just went up to his room and locked the door. He will not talk to me. I really like this boy and now he hates me. He is fifteen now and he probably thinks I am some child. I will be thirteen in a few days. I am excited for that. I just hope Eshkol doesn't hate me on my birthday.
She didn't write for a few days after that. She had begun to feel sorry for this girl. She had to read on.
October 17th 1994,
YAY! It turns out Eshkol wasn't mad at me. He was mad at some guys at school. He got me a heart shaped necklace. It's absolutely precious. I love it.
What confused Ziva then was that there were some pages missing from the diary. She decided to forget about that for now and kept on reading.
July 15th 1997,
I cannot take this any longer. It has been four years. I NEED to tell him how I feel. He is taking me out to the pond tonight. We like hanging out there. It's always been fun. I am quite excited to be starting sophomore year of high school. I wonder if I should get dressed up for this.
July 15th 1997,
Oh my God! Oh my God! I just made the worst mistake of my life. Eshkol and I had sex…at least I am pretty sure it was sex. God, I am so stupid. Good thing my parents are so consumed with work. Hopefully they will never find out about this.
July 16th 1997,
Eshkol came into my room last night. We talked and I feel much less guilty about. So much that I had sex with him a second time. He stayed in my room all night until around four in the morning. He is now seventeen and he is so hot. His face cleared up and he's got muscles now. No one bothers him anymore because they know he has a black belt in karate.
September 13th 1997,
I am an idiot…
Ziva stopped reading after that, having some idea of what she had wrote next. She locked the diary up and pushed it underneath the bed before going to sleep. A couple hours later she awoke, unable to sleep. Her mind kept flashing back to that diary. She stood from the bed, grabbed the diary, and went downstairs to the living room. She turned on a lamp and sprawled out on the couch. Even though she felt this was an invasion of privacy she still read it. She went to where she left off.
September 13th 1997,
I am an idiot. What am I going to tell Eshkol? He cannot handle a baby. I just found out yesterday and I am now sitting in Eshkol's room, waiting for him to come home. My parents are going to kill him and then they'll kill me. I do not know if I am even going to keep this baby. I do not want it. I do not love it. I do not even love Eshkol anymore right now. I just want to leave.
September 14th 1997,
Well, I have told Eshkol and to be honest with you I am quite surprised. He only said three words when I told him I love you. I, of course, said it back. I have decided, well, we have decided to keep the baby and raised him or her ourselves. We have also decided to keep it quiet for as long as possible.
Ziva shook her head, understanding her predicament but was full of sorrow. They were so young. She was thirty when she found out and she felt as though she couldn't handle it. These were two kids. She couldn't just sit idly by. She had to know what happened to those teenagers and their unplanned baby.
December 13th 1997,
My parents have kicked Eshkol and me out. This will be my last entry. Our baby is a boy and we have named him Andrew. We cannot wait until he comes and we are somewhat glad that my parents know. After I have the baby and he is old enough to travel we will be going to Tel Aviv. That is where Eshkol's family lives. That's where I will live someday.
The diary was only three fourths of the way full. Ziva couldn't help but cry at how sad this was. She shut the diary and set it down in front of her. She had to find this family and talk to them. Just then she felt someone or something shaking her shoulder. She heard someone calling her name. Just then her eyes flashed open, seeing Tony standing above her.
"Tony?"
"Hi baby. Those hamburgers must've knocked you out. I've been trying to get you up for the last five minutes." He said with a slight laugh.
She sat up, realizing that the diary had just been a dream. She then wondered what was really in the attic.
"Look, honey, I'm going to make some breakfast. What would you like?" He asked.
She seemed in a daze, almost as if she were in deep thought.
"Ziva?"
"Huh? Oh. Scrambled eggs."
"Okay, I'll call for you when it's done."
She nodded and absent mindedly stood from the bed. She walked to the attic stairs and slowly, almost fearfully walked up the stairs. She went to the very same box in her dream. She warily opened it and found a black booklet. It looked just like the diary from her dream. She then opened it and read what it said on the first page. She grew scared by the words which graced the page. To my Emily, I hope you can open up through this.