Multimedia Share: Mounds
The next few weeks fly by. I'm busy with school, and Edward's always working, but somehow we find time to spend together, even if it's just a little.
There are no more Tanya incidents, or packages delivered to my house.
I don't bring up that night we went out, but it I think about it a lot. I was introduced to his other life, it was like a merger of all things of him with simple me.
Neither of us discuss how we practically sang the big-time four letter declaration. I'm quite happy with the way we are now. It's like I know how he feels without him having to say it aloud, it's more like I can feel it from him, and if my intuition's wrong, what harm am I causing?
Last night I over heard him talking to Alice about her helping him find a house to buy. It makes me curious, and very excited.
I want to ask him about it so bad. Is he or is he not?
...~{sYa}~...
"Rise and shine, sweet girl of mine." He tickles down my side, and I swat his hand away without opening my eyes.
"What time is it?" I peek. "It's still dark!" I groan and roll over to my stomach. His hands take their turn lightly scratching up and down my back. "Mmmm, come back to bed." I blindly reach out for him.
The bed dips to the left with his weight. He straddles my back and continues to tickle it. "I've got better plans."
I moan deep, my face mushed in the pillow. He leans forward and his hands move to my hair. "Come with me today."
I'm barely awake. "Where?"
"I have a local shoot."
My eyes pop open. He's asking me to go? On a work related thing? Wow! This is... I try and roll over, but I can't, his knees have me pinned.
"So whadda say?" He begins to poke my side.
I wiggle and scream as his fingers curl around my waist and he squeezes. "I gotta pee! STOP! Please, Yes! Yes!"
I feel his legs widen and I take advantage and roll over to face him. He brushes my hair out of my face with his fingers.
"Well?" He shrugs, his hands now resting on his thighs.
"I'd love to." My eyes begin to adjust to the light, allowing me to see his smile.
"Yeah?" He asks as his eyebrows raise.
Sometimes his boyish charm is too cute, I want to bottle it up and save it for a bad day.
"Yeah," I answer. "But please move so I can go to the bathroom."
"Hurry up." He smacks my butt as I crawl off the bed. I'm too happy to care because he's taking me to work with him today. It's like a milestone...another first, a step in the direction of more.
The past few weeks have been so good to us. We have a routine. There's a side of my bed he claims as his own. His toothbrush occupies the other hole in my toothbrush holder. His clothes have their own spot in the closet. He has a key to the front and back door, and he checks the mailbox. He knows what day and time the garbage truck comes by. He's aware that on Monday nights Rose and I always wash clothes and order pizza. Whether he's aware of it or not, he's part of my life now. A big part.
I want to ask him if he notices – if he feels this, because I'm pretty sure this is what forever feels like.
...~{sYa}~...
I sit and watch as he snaps pictures all afternoon. We drove to an Indian mound in north Georgia. It's inside a state park, but there isn't anyone else here but us. He's taking pictures for a brochure. I think it's boring, but I wait patiently. I walk around and read the plaques about the history of the park. I admire the early spring flowers, and the squirrels that scurry everywhere, but mostly, I watch Edward.
He really does transform when he works. I notice the difference between him and E.A. Masen, and truthfully, Edward is more fun to be around but Masen, he's kinda intense and sexy.
I go to the car and pull out the blanket and bag of food we stopped at the store and picked up. I find us a level place to eat, open up the blanket, and set out the food.
Soon enough, he joins me. We eat and laugh, and I feel so perfect. This is all so right, that maybe even it's too good to be true. I hate that I feel apprehensive and unsure. I just want this to last, for a very long time, and I know I'm not guaranteed anything.
It's a fine line, losing yourself in your joy, yet keeping a level head. There's a level of self-preservation that you hope to maintain so if everything goes south, you can still live and function and breathe.
I fear I've already crossed that line.
He notices my worry and questions me.
I bury it down and show the happy. "It's nothing." I shake my head and smile. "I was just wondering, like, where do you live? I mean, where do you consider your home? No, I mean... crap." Nothing sounds right.
He laughs at me.
I snarl my nose, "I don't want you to take it the wrong way, I like you here with me, but I don't feel like it's ever permanent."
He looks at me and all the humor has left his face. "It's not."
I don't respond.
"Or it hasn't been, but all my mail still goes to my parent's home in Chicago. Does that help?"
I nod, "Yeah," but I still feel sad, defeated.
"But I was thinking, maybe I should finally look into buying a house somewhere."
I can tell he's trying not to smile.
"Really? Well, where would that be?" I bite my lip so my mouth can't give away my elation.
"It's still debatable." He's challenging me.
"Damn. What a decision you have to make." I'll take him up on that challenge.
He rises up on his knees and pulls me over on top of him. We fall back on the blanket as his hands bury in my hair. His mouth takes possession of my own, and his arms hold me close.
We make out until the sun begins to set and the chill in the air steals away the warmth.
The ride back home is quite and somber, but in a good way. I watch as the night overtakes the day. We leave the country side behind, and the city lights soon reflect off the window glass.
Then a question pops in my head, and I wonder if Edward thinks the same way I do. I turn in my seat to ask, "Don't you think it's better to be extremely happy for a short while, even if you lose it, than to be just okay for your whole life?"
He nods his head but doesn't look at me, "Most definitely, and you know what? Maybe all we can do as we live is hope to end up with the right regrets."