*Trigger WARNING* This book deals with a soldier who has been to war and seen and done some shit. Although artistic license has been taken, most of this shit is real. In fact, all of it is, but it has been gleaned from different people and put into one. Please, if you have PTSD or deal with issues around war and gore, proceed carefully or maybe give this one a skip. **The end, my friends** Proceed with caution PS: thanks for the reviews and follows, I appreciate them. :)

Disclaimer: I own nothing, no one in the WWE, no real or stage names. I write this purely as a form of bizarre therapy from my own time over there. I do own my own character Alicia Price. This book contains swearing (lots) and eventual smut, but no slash. It's a slow burn guys, so bear with me. This book is not cannon, and takes place vaguely when the Shield boys were together in the Shield pre-break up. The book focuses on Jon Good/Jon Moxley/Dean Ambrose/OC, but there are cameos everywhere later. I use their real names in here because I think would like to know the real person if I ever met them. I realize Renee is real, and I love her and Jon, but, sorry, for this story she's just in the background. Anyway, enjoy! Feel free to ask questions, leave reviews and any other such awesomeness.

The idea of this book came from the song Broken by Lovelytheband

I like that you're broken
Broken like me
Maybe that makes me a fool
I like that you're lonely
Lonely like me
I could be lonely with you

There's something tragic, but almost pure
Think I could love you, but I'm not sure
There's something wholesome, there's something sweet
Tucked in your eyes that I'd love to meet

Chapter 35

February 23rd found you seated in the stands at the Elimination Pay-Per-View. Joe was right, you didn't want it to end like that. The seats weren't ringside because you had brought Princess with you. You were in the stands high enough that you could see all the action, but you figured no one could see you. You didn't tell Joe that you were taking the flight. You didn't tell him that you were even coming tonight. Not sure of what you would see, you wanted to make sure you were able to have an escape route if it became necessary.

You had never sat in the crowd during one of the events and it was a totally different experience. Thanks to months of therapy, being surrounded by people was not nearly as difficult, and Princess had your back, so you felt safe. The matches played out one by one. You recognized some of the people on the card, cheering for Cody Rhodes when he won the tag team match for him and his brother. There were a couple more matches, one with two people who looked a lot like Joe. Probably some sort of relatives because his family was so deep into the wrestling empire.

Soon, you heard the entrance music for the Shield. They joined the crazy Wyatt family in the ring and you watched as the guys stood toe to toe. Joe peeked up to where your seat was located and noticed you sitting there. Shooting you a grin, he went back to facing off with Bray and his goons. Apparently, he was told you used the ticket. By his face you knew he could see you just fine from the ring. Before the match even started, Jon shot out like a light and went for the attack. The boys had to join the fray and get everyone else out of the ring so that Joe could calm him down with a few words before the match actually began. You heart was in your throat. It was just like the first match you had seen, Jon being crazy and his brothers backing him up. You didn't realize how much you missed him.

The Wyatts got set back up for the fight near the ring and the Shield decided who was going to fight first. The match was a good one, with the boys showing off their moves and the Wyatt goons fighting back in kind. Halfway through the match, Jon and Wyatt got into it outside the ring. They began making their way up the stairs in your section, through the stands, exchanging blows as they went. He was getting closer and your heart was beating faster and faster. It was almost like he knew you were there and was coming for you, bringing along a friend to fight with. He was almost within touching distance when he finally met your gaze and he paused, startled at your presence. Wyatt hit him from behind and he fell in front of Princess. Looking up at you he grinned, "Y' came…"

He got immediately back up and continued the fight outside the stands and through the arena door, then he disappeared. Soon a stagehand approached your seat and passed you a slip of paper asking you to come backstage. You rose from your seat and grabbed ahold of Princess' leash. He trotted behind you, happily leaving the noise of the crowded arena behind.

Backstage, you were ushered to the Shield locker room. All the memories of last year came back in a rush. Every time you had broken down and rushed back into Jon's arms. Every time he had been your comfort and stable place. You reached up to the door and gave a timid knock.

Jon must have been waiting for you to come back because he immediately opened the door. He was still dressed in his ring gear, covered in sweat from his match. Princess lifted his head at the introduction to a new person and gave a friendly sniff. Jon reached out his hand for him to sniff and then scratched behind his ears, unintentionally making a friend for life.

You stood there watching him interact with your service dog, your throat tight with emotion. There was so much you wanted to say, but you didn't have a clue where to begin.

"Y' got th' dog y' always wanted, I see." Jon said finally.

"Yeah, he's been great. He's a trained service dog for PTSD, so he helps during the bad days," you said with a smile down at Princess.

"'S nice. Wha'd y' end up callin' him? Somethin' strong 'n tough f'r such a big dog?" He asked while he stepped aside and let you both enter the locker room.

You chuckled, "Uh, something like that. His name's Princess."

Jon stopped suddenly and locked his intense blue gaze with yours. "Yeah?" He rasped out quietly.

"Yeah."

"'S good, fuckin' good name f'r a dog. I tol' y' it was," he said with a huge grin, dimples popping out in full force. You fucking missed those dimples over the past seven months. Your fingers itched to trace down his cheek and cup his face. He looked you over from head to toe, like he was memorizing you if you ended up disappearing from his life again. His gaze stopped at your neck and he slowly lifted a hand to finger along the worn-out velvet ribbon. "Y' kept it," he said softly, and then pulled his hand back as if you were fire and he didn't want to touch you for fear of a burn.

Your fingers came up to your neck and you fiddled with your cupcake charm. "Of course, I did. I love it. It was a present to remind me of one of the most favorite nights in my life." You paused, trying to figure out what to say to the man who had built you back up from a broken soldier and broken you again as a woman. "Why did you go, Jon? I wanted you to stay so badly. I wanted you to be there with me, so very much."

He shuffled in place, his nerves showing through tapping toes and fidgeting fingers. "Y'r dad asked me wha' I could give y'. He asked me wha' I wanted from y'. I didn' have th' answers I knew he deserved. We jus' had th' week y' had off, 'n then y' had t' go back. I knew I couldn' keep y' from goin' back. Knew y' needed t' get all healed up from everythin'. Continue gettin' y'r head on straight." He paused and looked deep into your eyes, "I knew y' were worth more than I could ever give y'. I kept goin' over 'n over in my head how y' got hurt when y' were with me." He ducked his head and shoved his hands into the pockets of his black cargo pants. "Promised t' keep y' safe 'n I fucked it up so bad."

Your heart melted at his words. "Oh Jon, for fuck's sake. That wasn't your fault. That wasn't even my fault, really. I know I should have been more careful, but we were just living our moment then." You brushed the back of your hand against the tears that were starting to fall. "I loved living that moment with you." With a shuddering breath you continued, "You have no idea what you did to me." Princess whined and nosed his head underneath your hand, giving you strength to go on.

Jon shifted again, uncomfortable and worried about the harsh truth he figured you were going to tell him. He fidgeted while he waited for you to deal your blow.

"You made me whole, Jon." He snapped his head up when you said this, curious as to what you were going to say next. Obviously not expecting you to tell him that he was wonderful, but that was what he was. This man deserved to know just how fucking wonderful he was. "You took a broken soldier and listened to all my fucking crap. You didn't judge me when I was going crazy. You held me and rocked me when I was breaking down from all the memories and horrors. You made me realize that even though I lost so fucking much over there, I was still alive, and living was worth it. I was worth it. You gave me back myself. That gift is worth more than anything you could ever work for, anything you could ever give me in the world. I'm so sorry that I got sick again when I was with you. I'm so so fucking sorry you had to deal with that. I know it must have been so fucking scary for you to see me, dying again in your house."

Tears were falling freely from your eyes and you were gripping Princess' leash for dear life. "I don't know what else to say to you except that I loved every minute that I spent with you. Fuck, I loved you. I missed you from the moment you left me to the moment I got to see you again tonight." You stopped to gain some composure, "I don't know what else to fucking say except that I don't regret anything. I never did, and I never will," you finished softly. You glanced away from Jon's scrutiny, unsure of where to go from here. You had said it all, said everything you needed to say to him. You wanted him to say something, do something. Anything to show that he had heard you and understood.

"Cupcake, fuck…" he grated out. "'M not good wit' this shit. This feelings shit is all fuckin' new t' me. I knew when I met y' tha' y' were different. Y' were like me in some ways. We'd both lived th' fucked up kinda life that people don' understand. Knew tha' y'd change me, but I didn' fuckin' know how much. I left y' there that day wit' y'r dad cus I wanted t' make myself better f'r y'. Make myself somethin' that y' could be proud of, someone y' could be proud t' show off t' y'r family 'n shit." He walked slowly over to where you stood. Princess, deciding that he was no threat at all, lay down next to you and ignored the whole scene.

Jon slowly reached a hand out to your arm and ran his fingers down to your hand. Interlacing them with yours, he gripped your hand tightly. Holding your gaze, he said, "Fuckin' fell f'r y', cupcake. Fuckin' fell f'r the whole package. All th' crazy 'n the good. 'Ve never been good at this, but I fuckin' love y', cupcake. I loved y' enough t' let y' go and fix y'rself, like y'r dad asked me t' outside y'r room tha' day. Loved y' enough t' hope tha' y'd come back when y' were ready t' try again."

You gasped when he said this, "But why didn't you just tell me this? Why the fuck didn't you just tell me that was why you were leaving? I thought you didn't want me anymore. I thought it was all just too much for you to deal with and that was why you were leaving. I fucking realize it was only a week that we had together, Jon, and I know that a whole lot happened during that time. But, why? Why did you just let me think that you were gone forever?"

"Cus y' deserved t' get better, cupcake," he said softly. "Y' deserved t' fix y'r mind 'n y'r body t' make sure y' were where y' wanted t' be. We went kinda fast, y' 'n me, 'n I wanted t' make sure y' really wanted t' do this, without all th' other bullshit gettin' in th' way." He paused for a second and gave you a hopeful little smile, "Is y' bein' here y'r way of tellin' me tha' y' wanna do this? Tha' y' wanna come back t' th' lunatic 'n my crazy world? Y' wanna spend y'r next two lives hangin' out wit' me?"

Considering his words carefully, your heart leapt in your chest. This man fucking loved you, the whole fucking crazy package that you were. The broken bits and the ridiculous breakdowns. He fucking loved you.

You reached out your other hand and cupped his chin. Smiling genuinely for the first time in seven months you said, "Yes, a thousand times, yes."

He groaned at your words and pulled you to his chest, giving you a warm and comforting hug. It felt so fucking good. All the heartache from the past months drifted away as you snuggled into his tight hold. You tucked your head under his chin and he rocked you while he hummed. Happy tears filled your eyes. This man's arms felt so good. They made you feel like you were finally home.

Pulling back from the embrace he leaned down to finally capture your lips with his. You groaned at the instant pleasure he was able to ignite in you. Opening your mouth to allow him access you sighed again. He took advantage of your movement and plundered your mouth, twisting his tongue around yours and moaning in earnest.

Both of you were so wrapped up in your reunion that you didn't notice the locker room door open until you heard someone clear their throat. Turning in Jon's arms you looked over to see Joe and Colby standing in the doorway with shit-eating grins on their faces.

"Welcome back, baby girl," Joe rumbled out.

"Nice to see you're where you belong again, Alicia," Colby added.

You gave them both a grateful smile and hugged Jon tightly. "Thank you for the chat, Joe. Thank you for helping a girl out when she needed a little push."

Jon looked curiously at Joe. "Y' did this?"

Joe shrugged and said, "We could see you needed her back, uce. Figured it was about time to get involved and help a brother out."

Jon chuckled at his brothers and then turned back to you. Leaning down to whisper in your ear he said, "We're gonna make this work, right? Want t' keep y' wit' me for now 'n ever if y' want." He sighed in contentment at having you back in his arms. "Y'r not gonna leave me now, are y'?"

You snuggled deeper into his embrace, "Nope."

**A/N**

I just want to thank you all for coming along with me during this journey. I started this to get some of the old memories out of my head and I'm happy that you came along for the ride. I want to give a huge shout out to Brookworm3 for the reviews and positive comments along the way. I would also like to take a moment to wax poetic about the man who sat next to me in every hospital stay, not knowing if I would ever wake up. I would like to thank him for reading this shit even though it brought back so many bad memories about the past. He's my Jon Moxley, my fighter, and thanks to him I got my happy ending too.

Thanks again, all - nothing but love for everyone who read