Author's Note: Hey everybody. Happy Easter! And here is your weekly dose of Hope. Enjoy.

Forgotten Hope Chapter 35-

NPOV

The need to be near her was getting to be too overwhelming. Now I was feeling bad for getting mad that she didn't want to kiss me. I was still upset about it, but... I mean... I didn't have to snap at her....

I gathered my wits about me as much as I could in this state. Drinking was messing with me. Slowly, I got up and walked out of the room to see Chloe in the hallway, closing in on the door.

"You aren't going home, are you? You're going to stay here tonight... with me... right? You'll come back to bed when you're done with homework?" I asked her in a pathetically needy and desperate voice. I realized I sounded innocent, which was probably for the first time in my entire life. My guard was slipping down....

Chloe swallowed hard and nodded at me. "Of course I'll stay, Nick. I'll just be out here for a while, okay? You can go back to bed if you're tired." Her voice was gentle and loving, but was also shaking a bit.

I wanted to know what was wrong. I needed to know. I felt like a jerk. Was it my fault?

I just nodded, but didn't go back to my room. I wanted to stay close to her.

I plopped down onto the couch and Chloe sat down on the opposite side, bringing her backpack with her. I watched her pull out a textbook and notebook. She was instantly pulled into the concentration of her homework. She didn't even seem to notice me here after a while. She was right there, but she felt so far away... so distant....

I just sat there, staring at her doing her homework for a long while. She looked really cute when she was working on something. She chewed on the end of her pencil absentmindedly and twirled her hair around her pencil or bit her lip as she worked through a math problem. She looked so relaxed in her studies. I was pretty content with just watching her like this for a while.

But eventually, after what seemed like hours, I got bored. And then annoyed. And then I snapped. I couldn't sit there forever. It was almost ten thirty now and she hadn't even looked at me.

"Well, I'm just going to bed then," I grumbled finally, getting off of the couch, almost falling drunkenly. My head felt heavy and my balance was all off....

Chloe's head popped up at the sound of my voice and I saw worry building in her eyes.

"Kay," she whispered quietly and got up for a moment to give me a very soft kiss on the lips. She then plopped straight back down in front of her homework.

I grumbled angrily to myself as I walked away from her. She didn't come with me... I thought she might put her things away if I said I was ready for bed.

I somewhat stomped my way back to the bedroom and slammed the door. I shouldn't have told her about not graduating! Life had been so good for us since we had come back from California and I ruined it by telling her how flawed and unworthy I really was.

I whipped the blanket off of my side of the bed and ripped my shirt off. I hated this. I wanted her to be with me. I wanted her in bed with me right now. I was sure if I was as smart as her old boyfriend I would be getting all the action I wanted. She wouldn't want to do anything with someone as dumb as me.

I wasn't even asking for much! I just wanted to hold her and kiss her and I just... wanted her.

I angrily unbuckled my belt. All the girls in Forks had liked me. They would do anything to be with me and they knew I didn't go to school. They went to the same school as me for God's sake. They knew about all my flaws. They knew I had killed people and that I had fought and drank and done drugs whenever I wanted to. Yet they were still all over me, worshipping me, practically begging to go to bed with me. Now that I actually liked--no, loved--a girl, she didn't even want me. She couldn't even be in the same room as me.

Maybe I should just go back to Forks. I didn't give a shit about cops... no one was going to put me in jail. Those wimps in Forks wouldn't even come near me. They'd be too afraid. I could start a real freaking gang of my own and then kick the shit out of Greg. I could have my own parties and get everything I wanted. I could drink all the time and not even care, not even notice the girls on me at night.

I pulled on some sweatpants and fell into bed. I hated this place. I hated this feeling.

I tried to sleep so I wouldn't go out into the living room and do something I would regret for the rest of my life out of anger. I couldn't sleep though. I was frustrated and worked up now. Why couldn't she just love me for me? Didn't Alice say she would?

Eventually I heard the front door open and I jumped up, worried that Chloe was leaving. All my anger wavered and sadness took me over. Had she left me here? She had said she wouldn't. She had said she was going to come back to bed with me after she was done homework, right? She said she wasn't going to leave me. She wouldn't leave me, would she?

I made my way to the bedroom door and opened it quietly, walking down the hallway to check to see if she was still there.

Alice and Jasper were taking off their jackets at the front door. I sighed in relief. She hadn't left me. Alice and Jasper had opened and shut the door. It was them I had heard.

My head started to hurt more and I sat down in the hallway. I could wait here for Chloe.

I heard footsteps and looked over to see Jasper going to put groceries away in the kitchen and Alice walking into the living room. I bet Chloe would talk to Alice. They were friends. And Alice had graduated high school... she was smart enough to be around Chloe.

I crossed my arms, irritated.

"Alice...." I heard Chloe say softly from the living room. It was right beside the hallway and I could hear everything from here.

"Yep?" Alice asked happily.

I heard Chloe take a deep breath like she had done so many times tonight. She sounded so stressed out. Was I really that much of a burden to her?

"I haven't really had time to see Nick much and I don't know what's going on lately. I just... I'm confused. Do you know why Nick would have been drinking tonight?" Chloe inquired to Alice.

Her voice was upset, disappointed, torn. How had she known I had been drinking? It wasn't that obvious, was it? I wasn't acting drunk. I wasn't puking or passing out or really even slurring over my words. I was fine.

"Wait, what? Nick was drinking?" I heard Alice reply in surprise. I could imagine her standing up, eyes wide, a frown on her lips. Alice always tried to get me to be perfect too. No drinking, no drugs, no sex... I was tired of trying to be perfect-- to be something I wasn't.

"Yeah... I think so. He was acting a little weird and I wasn't sure, but then he kissed me and I could taste it. I don't know what's wrong. He showed up at work as I was closing... I don't know...." Chloe trailed off in confusion.

Yeah freaking right she didn't know what was wrong, I thought coldly.

"Jazz!" Ali called across the apartment, sounding panicked. Wow. What was the big freaking deal? So what? I had five beers? Wow. It wasn't the end of the Goddamn world people!

"Yes, darling?" Jasper asked Alice quickly. I heard his feet moving quickly across the apartment. Alice had changed him, too. He used to actually care about me and we'd chill and have fun doing whatever. He talked to me before her, but now it was all about what Alice wanted. He had left me because of her. He didn't care about me anymore. He just wanted her. I was baggage from his past that he had to deal with.

No one here really wanted me....

"Chloe says Nick came by when she was at work and he was drunk," Alice informed Jasper. Why was everybody talking about me?

Rage was running thickly through my veins now. They couldn't have just talked to me if shit was bothering them? What the hell?

I got up, walking directly to the living room. Everyone turned to look at me with the same expression, their eyes wide with surprise and concern.

"Hey man," Jasper said quietly, walking toward me.

"Don't 'hey man' me. I heard you guys talking behind my back about me."

I turned to Chloe. "You couldn't just ask me if I had been drinking? You just had to talk about it with everyone else?" I shot angrily at her, glaring darkly. What kind of relationship did we even have? I saw Chloe flinch at my words.

"So what if I drank a few beers with Spencer? What the hell is the big deal? It's not like it's the first time I've drank!" I yelled at them all this time, sending them my icy glare. They were all just judging me and I never judged them. I hadn't cared that Chloe had been cheating on a guy with me, lying to me, using me.

I hadn't said anything when Alice was dangling both Jasper and Spencer on a string for two months, going out with both of them for the heck of it.

I didn't say anything when Jasper was all depressed about her leaving him. I didn't judge him when he left me and then came right back. I just let them all do whatever they damn well pleased to do. I was a good friend to all of them! But when it came to me, well, I was just too bad for them.

"Spencer was drinking?" Of course that was all Alice said. Who saw that one coming?

My anger faded just a bit when I saw the pain flashing through her eyes at the news, though. She looked like she was about to cry.

"Nick...." Jasper warned me, sensing my tone and my mood. He could read me all he wanted, though: nothing was going to change. I could see everything clearly now.

"Shut up," I forcefully said to him, not wanting another one of his stupid lectures about drinking. I wasn't his stepfather. I wasn't going to beat the crap out of him for no reason. Not everyone was like that.

Both Alice and Jasper stared at me, flustered.

"I don't want to hear either of your lectures. Nothing is wrong with me having a few beers and I'm tired of all of you judging me!" I continued, staring hard, challenging them to say something.

"Nick. Stop. You're freaking Chloe out..." Alice said softly to me, looking over at Chloe.

Chloe was just staring at me, looking lost and upset. It was like she was trying to figure me out and it was making me nervous. Why was she looking at me like that? I was upset, too!

"Whatever," I mumbled, rolling my eyes.

Jasper stepped forward, now obviously pissed off. "No. You shut up, Nick. Think about what you're saying before you say it because you know you are going to regret it later. You also know none of us here judge you. We love you. So just breathe and calm down. I don't know what's wrong with you but you can't just treat people like this for no reason. It's not right," Jasper said in a low, calm voice. It was his angry voice.

I watched his jaw flex as he took me in slowly, gauging my mood and my next move. It looked like he thought I was going to fight him... shit, maybe I would.

"What's wrong with me?" I laughed loudly and bitterly. "Nothing is freaking wrong with me! I'm fine. Totally fine. I don't give a shit that my girlfriend is working her butt off, avoiding me because she is ashamed she's going out with a guy like me. I think that's just perfectly okay...." I spat, letting it all out.

I hadn't been this angry in a long time. It was like the devil in me was finally coming out, taking me back, taking over me. I was shaking and my fists were clenched. I was ready to fight or not fight. To scream or not scream. It didn't matter. All this because people get pissed about me being drunk.

Alice and Jasper looked at me in disbelief. "What?" They both said at the same time.

Chloe stepped forward, her eyes on fire in a way that I had never seen them. "What are you talking about?" she started in a furious whisper, frustration and hurt painting her words. She was shaking her head. "I-I am not ashamed of you," she said a little louder, fisting her own hands and stuttering in her apparent anger.

I scoffed loudly. "Just because I couldn't finish high school doesn't mean I'm that dumb, Chloe. Coincidentally, right after I tell you I never graduated, you just become too busy for me. You keep making all these excuses but I know the real reason. You don't want to be seen with me. You are ashamed!" I argued with her. What other reason could there be for her behavior? There was no other reason. I could see it in her eyes. She was disgusted by me.

"The only time that I've seen you being dumb is right now if you think I would ever be ashamed of you, Nick," she hissed at me, rage starting to burn heatedly in her normally soft brown eyes.

So now she was too perfect to admit it? I thought she'd at least be honest with me. Wow.

I threw my hands up in frustration. "Wow, okay. Whatever. Either way, you think I'm dumb."

Chloe was shaking with fury now as she came closer to me. "No, I think you're drunk!" she spat at me, not even blinking.

Why the hell wasn't she afraid of me? She usually flinched away from me when I did little things, but the one time I felt out of control she was coming closer?

"Well that's what I am. I'm a drunk. I drink. I want to drink," I explained to her maliciously, keeping my gaze locked with hers. "This person. Right now. This is who I really am."

This is what I was like when I wasn't holding anything back. And even though I was fuming on the outside, on the inside I was breaking.

Chloe shook her head, determined. "No it's not! You aren't ever like this," she whispered, obviously in some sort of denial about the whole thing. "I love who you really are...."

I laughed bitterly. "Bullshit."

Chloe's eyes flashed with the strongest anger I had ever seen. Before I had blinked, she had reached out and punched me straight across the face. Just like I had taught her.

Now what the hell was that? I stumbled backwards, caught off guard, and landed against a wall, shaking, but I didn't know why.

She had hit me! She had hit me. She did it just how I had shown her. I couldn't help but grin, rubbing my lip and chin as it throbbed with pain. I had taught her really well. That was my girl.

I laughed quietly and wiped the blood from my lip. The force of her punch had made my emotions start swirling.

"I do love you," Chloe whispered, tearing up. "I do...."

Oh shit, she was going to cry. No, don't cry....

She had punched me because I had said that her love for me was bullshit. It was like she was trying to show me with more than words how much she loved me... how much she listened to me and appreciated me.... It was like through her punching me, she was trying to knock some sense into to me and make me realize that she... valued me? I mean, shit, she punched me just how I had shown her....

God, what... what am I thinking? What was wrong with me? She did love me.... That punch honestly felt more like love than anything else....

Jasper and Alice were quickly at our sides. Alice hugged Chloe to comfort her and Jasper came over to me, grabbing my arm--hard--and dragging me off to his room.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" he demanded of me, staring in pure disbelief. "Seriously, what are you doing? Why are you saying that stuff to her? You're being an ass. I thought you loved her...? Why are you going out and getting drunk and pushing her away?" he asked, his voice getting softer with every word that he said. He looked utterly confused.

So was I... God, was I confused.

I walked over and sat down on the edge of their bed. "I'm not the one pushing someone away. She is. She keeps pushing me away. Every time I try to see her she says she's working, doing homework or going to bed early. That never stopped us before. She always let me go to her place and sleep there or cook her dinner while she did homework. Now she wants nothing to do with me! It's because I'm not good enough for her. I know it," I ranted, telling him what was really going on.

Jasper stood there, listening to me. His lips pressed tightly together and then he sighed, looking totally understanding. He didn't judge me....

The thought hit me again. He wasn't judging me....

"First things first. You and I... Nick, we are never going to be good enough for either of those girls. That's the reality. But it's a reality I cherish because it makes me want to be better." He sighed and ran his hands through his hair.

"This is when you have to talk to her. You don't just go out and drink when you have a problem in a relationship. You have to talk to each other. You don't know what's really going on. Things are always complicated and I know, for certain, that Chloe loves you."

I stared at him for a minute as a small smile formed on his face. "She punched you, man! No one else would have had the nerve to punch you. That means she does love you. And that she knows you have a hard head," Jasper laughed, trying to lighten the situation and get me to smile.

I just looked down at the floor, though, feeling ashamed of myself. I should have talked to her first....

And I had fucking yelled at her. What had I been thinking?! This was Chloe... she didn't deserve to have someone yell at her. Even if I was mad, I shouldn't be treating her like that. I love her....

I had said all those things to her and thought all those really bad thoughts about all the people who loved me....

The alcohol-induced rage was gone now, and I was left feeling like an asshole. Why did I think like that when I drank? I shouldn't drink.... Not to get drunk.... This wasn't the right way to treat my friends....

"Crap," I mumbled, rubbing my face stressfully. "I'm such an idiot."

I understood now. It was like the punch had flipped a switch in me. This whole night, she hadn't been the one acting strange-- I was. It was me.

Jasper sat down beside me and wrapped his arm around my shoulder like he used to do when we were younger. "Everyone messes up, Nick. She'll forgive you. Go talk to her," he instructed me, squeezing my shoulder reassuringly.

I sighed loudly and nodded. "If she doesn't hate me now...." I whispered and got up from the bed.

Jasper followed me as I left the room and we walked toward the living room. I had a feeling that the alcohol was wearing off a lot now. The anger was slowly fading into fatigue and my thoughts were becoming a bit clearer. I knew I had made a mistake.

Their backs were toward us, so they couldn't see us coming. Chloe was sitting on the couch with Alice. Alice was holding her and talking to her in a soothing voice, rubbing her back. I was so ashamed of what I had thought of them all. I hadn't meant a word of it....

I cleared my throat quietly, trying to get their attention. Chloe jumped at the noise.

Shit, I messed up bad....

"Love, why don't we go get ready for bed?" Jasper suggested to Alice, offering her his head.

Alice nodded and said a few more words to Chloe before letting her go and walking over to us.

"Fix this," Alice told me firmly, but her eyes softened and she tiptoed up to kiss my cheek.

"I'm sorry," I whispered into her ear as she kissed me.

Alice gave me a knowing smile and grabbed Jasper's hand, tiptoeing up to kiss his cheek this time. I was hesitant when I saw them starting to walk away. Should they be leaving me here like this? I wasn't safe to be around. Jasper knew that. Why would he leave me here?

I reluctantly took a step forward, wiping my chin where I knew my lip had bled. I wiped my hand on my pants and walked over to the back of the couch, smoothing out the wrinkles on it.

"Chloe...." I whispered pitifully, not even able to look at her. She didn't seem to be able to look at me either.

"I'm sorry about the things I said. I'm sorry I got drunk... I'm sorry about all of this, really." I walked around the couch and sat down on the other side, away from her. I would give her space. I wouldn't want to be near me right now if I was her either. I was a heartless jerk.

Chloe sniffed and I saw her wipe her cheek, but she nodded in recognition of my words.

I sat silent for a minute, not knowing what else to say. If I said I was stupid for what I did she might punch me again... I knew she hated it when I called myself stupid.

"I love you...." I murmured, looking down at my bloody hand, not being able to see her so sad anymore.

Chloe let of a huff, seeming irritated. "I love you too." She looked at me now. Her eyes were red and puffy and her hands were shaking. What had I done to her?

I rubbed my face in my hands, trying to keep myself from crying because of the mess I had made. Chloe and I had never fought before this. I shouldn't have said those things. I shouldn't have been trying to make out with her like that when I was drunk. I had probably freaked her out. I hadn't been thinking about who I was with. She wasn't just some random girl that I didn't care about... she was my life now. My love.

"I'm so sorry," I whimpered, starting to cry whether I liked it or not. I couldn't hold it back.

Chloe moved toward me, close enough that our legs were touching. "Don't cry, Nick," she whispered, touching my cheek very lightly, barely touching me. "It's okay."

"No it's not," I shook my head stubbornly and in self hatred. I was such a horrible boyfriend. I was a horrible person. "I shouldn't have... that wasn't right...."

"Don't make me punch you again," Chloe threatened me with a soft smile, stroking my cheek. I laughed through my tears and shook my head.

"I deserved that," I assured her, wiping tears off of my cheek. "How's your hand?" I knew she had hurt it when she had been forced to punch Bryce....

"It's... okay, I think. I didn't know what else would make you shut up," Chloe explained, seeming ashamed of what she had done. She probably felt like crap about it. She thought too much. She thought more than I did.

"It worked," I shrugged sheepishly. "It woke me up at least. Chloe, I won't drink like that again. I'm sorry if I freaked you out."

Chloe's eyes saddened and she nodded. "It's okay... I'm just not used to you drinking.... Bryce drinks a lot and when he does he always gets really angry and... aggressive. I was just a little scared because I had never seen you drunk before. I didn't know what to do," she explained to me with wide, pained eyes.

God, I must have scared the crap out of her when I just brought her into my room like that. And then got angry out here at her. I messed up worse than I had thought.

"I never want to hurt you," I promised her, taking her hand off my cheek and kissing it softly. "Never."

"I know you don't." She nodded, understanding what I was saying. But then her eyes became confused and she looked straight into mine.

"I'm not ashamed of you, Nick. I never was. I still think you're perfect. We're perfect for each other." Her voice was full of honesty and her eyes were as well. She was too good of a person to be able to lie that well. I knew the words had to be true.

"Then why do you keep avoiding me? Did I do something wrong?" I asked her, still having no idea why she was staying away from me so much. She had no idea how much I needed her around.

I held Chloe's hand tightly, getting ready to hear the real reason.

"You didn't do anything wrong. You always do everything right...." Chloe sighed.

"Except tonight," I interjected.

She gave me a forgiving smile and then continued.

"It's not you... it's my parents. They've always paid the rent on my apartment and since I came back I found out that they aren't going to pay it anymore. They said that if I'm going to make my own decisions and mess up my life then they want nothing to do with me...." she trailed off, looking away for a second.

I squeezed her hand reassuringly and she finished. "So, I have to work extra hours so I can afford to pay the rent because I never had money budgeted for rent. After loans and everything, I pay for what's left over with the money I make from work. I wasn't working that much, but now I need the money so I can keep my apartment so... between working everyday and school...plus all of the homework and studying... I was just really busy."

She met my eyes again. "I wasn't ashamed of you.... I missed you every second I didn't see you. I didn't have a choice though."

That was the reason? Guilt poured over me like a cold bucket of water. She was struggling to keep her place and I had done this to her? She had to work more because she had chosen to be with me and this is what I did to her? She was probably already too stressed out.

I groaned and dropped my head into my hands. "I am so stupid!" I couldn't believe I had just assumed everything. Spencer had been right about her needing extra money. Jasper was right that I should have spoke to her first. Yet, I had done what I thought was right and drank all of my problems away out of habit. But that had just caused me more.

"Nick!" Chloe scolded me, but I could hear the laughter in her voice. I had called myself stupid again.

"Sorry," I smirked, but then sat up and gave her the most apologetic, understanding look that I could. "I'm so sorry. I messed up. I should have asked you what was going on," I apologized, slowly reaching over to stroke her cheek with care. She always worked so hard at everything she did and it made me so proud to be with her....

Chloe smiled. "It's okay. I should have told you. I'm sorry for not telling you when I found out. We wouldn't have been in this mess if I had just told you right away...."

Was she seriously blaming this all on herself?

I growled at her, glaring.

Chloe held back a smile, knowing exactly why I was growling. "Fine. How about it's equally both of our fault? Deal?" she offered, stretching out her hand to me. I accepted it. That was a good offer, even though I knew it was more my fault than hers.

After a moment, Chloe hesitantly moved closer to me. "So, how's that burnt tongue of yours doing?" she asked me shyly with a tempting smile. Her eyes sparkled invitingly. She was okay.... Relief filled me.

I shrugged nonchalantly. "It's not as bad as my busted lip," I teased her, sticking my lip out. It had stopped bleeding by now but I knew it was swollen and she would definitely be able to see it.

"Too hurt for a kiss?" she asked me curiously, cocking an eyebrow at me. I growled again and reached over to pull her closer to me. She let me gently lay her so that I was pinning her down as I hovered over her.

"Never too hurt for a kiss," I promised her, leaning down to kiss her lips.

Chloe sighed softly against the feeling of our lips coming together. It felt so much better now than earlier. So much more right.

Chloe's hands reached up to rub my biceps and I relaxed even more, feeling the familiarity of this situation. It felt like any other time we made out.

"We'll make more time for each other, okay?" Chloe offered between kisses, giving me a sincere look.

I nodded quickly, agreeing with her. Definitely needed more time together.

Chloe caught my lips and sucked on the bottom one. My lips slipped closed at the feeling. Way better than anything in Forks. What had I been thinking earlier? So stupid. She was so much better than those random girls. And she loved me....

The way her hands moved over my bare chest and arms... the way she kissed me... it all made everything so perfect. Her voice, her laugh, her smile, her smell... I would never want to leave her for anything in Forks. Not for drugs, not for alcohol and definitely not for a gang. She was the definition of perfection. I wouldn't want to leave her for anything.

"More time doing this," I whispered huskily, locking my hands in her hair, kissing her deeply. Our tongues danced, and not like earlier. This was real. Chloe didn't say anything, but just moaned in response and nodded.

After a few more minutes of making out I pulled up. I just stared at her. I gazed at the angelic face in front of me, staring straight back at me with all the love in the world. Her hair was slightly messed up, spread against the couch, and her lips were a bit swollen from our intense kiss.

"This is who you really are, sweetheart," Chloe whispered, capturing me in her brown eyes.

"I hope so," I replied, leaning down to press my forehead against hers. I wanted her to see the love I had for her too. I was so sorry about everything I had done and thought tonight.

"I know so," Chloe promised me, reaching up to weave her fingers through my hair and tug me back to her lips.

I let myself get lost in her sweet kiss, hoping and praying that this was the person I really was. I wanted to be the person I was when I was with Chloe.

APOV

Tuesday morning. Three days after Nick's little breakdown (which luckily, he had managed to fix) and the morning of Jazz's birthday!

I still had no idea what I was going to do though. I had told him that I would be here for his birthday. I told him we were going to cuddle and watch movies together all day... but I couldn't. I had to go to Spencer's fashion show tonight... at least to make an appearance.

I had no idea what would happen if I didn't show up tonight. I was afraid if I didn't, I would lose Spencer forever. Our relationship was already failing. He wouldn't talk to me and he never showed up to work when he knew I'd be there. He was absolutely avoiding me.

I knew that he needed some space, but if I missed this--the most important thing to him right now--he would snap. He wouldn't talk to me ever again. I knew it.

Spencer always needed my support and if I wasn't there for him on his big night it would be serious... he had already started drinking... what next?

What would I do with Jasper though? I knew it would hurt him if I left him for a while on his birthday for something to do with Spencer. But he was going to be home all day. He and Chloe were now on Christmas break and there was no reason for them to be at school. Jasper didn't have football today... I didn't know what I could do. The best I had come up with was to wait till he fell asleep and then leave. I would leave a note and pick him up something special after. I just wouldn't tell him that I went to Spencer's fashion show. Everything would work...?

I would spend all the time I could with Jasper until then though. It was his first birthday with me and I was going to make sure it was a good one. I knew to keep it simple because he hadn't wanted anything big. I could tell he would want something relaxing as well. He had been working so hard lately.

I woke up early and made him a big breakfast and then put it all on a platter. I headed to the bedroom with it and saw Jasper tangled in a blanket, his mouth open a little, breathing deeply.

I smiled softly and put the tray down on the bed stand.

"Jazz," I whispered, leaning over him, putting my face in front of his. He didn't move at all--he was in a deep sleep. Sometimes I just wanted to let him sleep the day away. He always looked so rested and then when he woke up he looked exhausted. It was already pretty late in the morning though. I didn't want him to miss his whole birthday.

"Wake up sleeping beauty," I chuckled, shaking him gently, trying not to startle him, but to wake him up. He muttered something in his sleep and rolled away from me, curling up in a ball. I laughed and crawled over to him. He was impossible to wake up.

I brushed his hair out of his eyes and leaned down to kiss his forehead tenderly. He would wake up eventually. And he did... after a few minutes of me stroking his hair.

"Hey," he smiled sleepily at me.

"Happy birthday!" I whispered with a grin and leaned down to give him a good morning kiss. His eyes sparkled as I pulled away from him and guilt started to form in the pit of my stomach. I didn't want to lie to him about Spencer tonight....

"Thanks," he murmured, reaching up to stroke my cheek lovingly. A second later his head tilted toward the food and his smile stretched. "You made us breakfast?" he asked me, sounding in awe of the situation. It wasn't that crazy of a situation.

"I made you breakfast," I corrected him with a nod and then turned in my seat to grab the tray of food.

Jasper sat up and I put the tray on his lap. He sleepily rubbed his eyes and then leaned over to give me another kiss.

"Well thank you, but you're going to have to help me eat it. I'm on a strict diet for football, remember?" he told me a matter of factly. He didn't have a strict diet he had to stick to for football. What a liar. I just rolled my eyes, knowing he wanted me to eat it with him.

I moved to sit across from him and crossed my legs. "How does it feel to be a year older?" I questioned him with a smirk. I could imagine him old with curly white hair and a cane, limping around. He'd make a good grandpa. He'd make an even better dad....

Not the time to think about that.

Jasper shrugged. "Stiff and grumpy," he joked, winking at me as he picked up a piece of an orange. He reached over to me with it and I opened my mouth and took a bite of it. He smiled at me and then ate the rest of the piece of orange.

"Well you're getting cuter with age," I assured him with a light smile. It was true. Guys always seemed to age better than girls.

A breathtaking smile stretched across Jasper's face, making him look even better. I loved that smile. No one--no celebrity, no model, no one-- could beat that smile. It wasn't even possible.

"So are you, my love," he complimented me, again reaching over to give me a piece of pancake. I took it and smiled at his words. I was technically older than him, so I better have been getting better with age. I didn't want to look older compared to him. I knew I had a while to worry about looking old, but still.

We ate the rest of his breakfast together, just talking and relaxing like he had wanted. Eventually the tray was empty and it was almost noon. I knew we had to get out of this room at some point because Nick would be mad if I didn't share the birthday boy.

I took the tray off of Jasper and got up. "Come on, birthday boy," I said and reached my hand out to him. He got up and stretched with a groan before grabbing my hand. He didn't bother grabbing a shirt--which I was totally fine with--and walked out of the room with me.

We walked to the living room and saw Nick hunched over taking notes from a textbook in front of him. Chloe was sitting on the couch with him, rubbing his back supportively as she read a book. He must have been glad they were finally getting some time together.

Their heads popped up as we got closer to them.

"Happy birthday, man!" Nick grinned, getting up from the couch and opening his arms wide for Jasper. Jasper held back a grin and walked over to hug him.

I was surprised when Chloe got up to hug him as well. Apparently the guys were too because they stood for a moment of silence afterward, looking at each other questioningly.

I laughed loudly. "It's because you don't have a shirt on Jazz. No one can resist that," I teased him, walking quickly into the kitchen before he could throw something at me or run after me. I heard them laugh in response.

"It's true... I just couldn't resist," Chloe agreed, calling into the kitchen to me.

"Hey!" Both Nick and I yelled in unison at her. I walked into the room glaring daggers at her and Nick gave her an accusing look

She blushed as Jasper shrugged and wrapped his arm around Chloe's shoulder. "What can I say? We have chemistry," he played along, giving Chloe a flirtatious wink and then smirking at me.

My jaw dropped dramatically and Nick gasped at the scandal.

"Chloe! How could you?" he asked her, stunned. He was pretty good at faking it. If I hadn't known this was all just for fun I would have thought his look was real. He looked so broken. Chloe apparently bought into too--or just couldn't resist his charm-- because she slipped out from Jazz's grip and walked over to Nick and hugged him tightly.

Jazz chuckled and then looked at me, but I just shook my head at him disapprovingly, still playing along.

Jasper laughed harder and walked over to me with his breathtaking smile, opening his arms up for me.

"Oh, no! You can't do that and then just come back to me. I don't think so," I warned him, taking a step back away from him, shaking my head back and forth. I was holding back a smile with all my might as Jasper gave me the cutest pout I had ever seen.

"But I love you and it's my birthday," he murmured sadly, still reaching for me.

"Do we have chemistry like you and Chloe?" I teased him as I stepped into his embrace, giving in. I wouldn't torture him. I felt Jasper's laugh rumble against me as he hugged me tight against him. His chest was so warm. With the heat of his chest against my cheek and his heartbeat thumping against my ear, I was lost in him. My eyes fluttered shut and I just hugged him. I felt so complete in his arms... it amazed me.

"I'm pretty sure we have chemistry, love, don't fret," Jasper chuckled, leaning down to nip at my neck playfully. "Come on, movie time," he announced to everyone as he let me go and then dragged me over to the couch.

"Thank God," Nick mumbled, slamming his textbook shut.

"It wasn't that bad," Chloe chuckled in amusement at Nick.

Nick used his ever dramatic talent that he had apparently learned from me let out a loud sigh. "Yes it was."

"Suck it up and be a man," Jasper ordered him, punching him in the shoulder and plopping down beside Nick. I raised a curious eyebrow at him, seeing that the couch was now full with Chloe, Nick and Jasper sitting on it. Jasper propped his feet up on the coffee table in front of the couch and tapped on his lap invitingly.

Well, if I had to....

I sat down on his lap and cuddled into his chest as he wrapped both his arms around me. He practically enveloped me into him. We were such different sizes, but I fit perfectly in his arms.

He kissed the top of my head happily and turned the TV on. We watched a whole movie, cuddling just like Jasper had suggested on the weekend.

We had ended up making out as well, but it finished pretty quickly because Nick threw a pillow at Jasper's head in annoyance. He said he didn't want to see his little sister being taken advantage of. Jasper didn't say anything, but then gladly took his revenge on Nick when he tried to kiss Chloe. Nick got a hard smack in the head with a pillow just like Jasper had. Boys....

Jasper was smiling the whole time though, laughing with Nick, Chloe and me at the movie that was on. After the movie had ended, we decided to play cards and then after that we would head out to grab some lunch.

"I think we should play Bullshit," Nick announced as Jasper grabbed a deck of cards.

Chloe's nose scrunched up, not seeming so pleased at the suggestion.

Jasper shrugged, not caring, and then looked at me.

"If Chloe doesn't want to play, then let's play something else," I said, repeating Jasper's shrug.

Nick gave me a look, so I gave him one back. What? I was pretty sure Chloe didn't like the swearing part of it.

"Why don't you want to play, sweetheart?" Nick pouted, looking at Chloe with puppy eyes.

She looked away from the puppy eyes, as if she knew she'd give in to them.

"I don't want to swear," she stated in a firm, certain voice.

"But it's just a game," Nick argued stubbornly, crossing his arms. Chloe just chuckled and shook her head, turning to me and Jasper.

"What do you guys want to play?" she asked us curiously, ignoring Nick's whining in the background.

"Poker?" Jasper suggested, looking at me for confirmation. I nodded at him, smiling. I didn't care as long as he was having fun.

"Strip poker," Nick teased Chloe, wrapping his arms around her from behind and kissing her neck.

"Nick!" Jasper yelled at him, sounding angry. I even looked over at him to see if he was okay. Chloe jumped and Nick straightened right up, looking at Jasper with wide eyes.

"You're a genius!" Jasper added after though, giving Nick a wicked look.

I smacked Jasper's arm and shook my head. Jasper just laughed and winked at me, shuffling the cards up in his hands.

Chloe's face turned a bright red and Jasper pitied her. "Don't worry. I'm just kidding," he assured her, waving off the idea. I knew he wasn't serious. Neither Jasper nor Nick. They were both too mature for strip poker. They liked to goof around, but I thought that in their heads, they might be too serious sometimes.

Jasper dealt our hands onto the coffee table and we all picked them up, getting ready to play.

"Anyone want a drink?" Nick asked, turning to go toward the kitchen to get one for himself.

"Water, please!" Chloe told him with a polite smile.

"Coke," Jasper mumbled, looking intensely at his cards. He seemed rather concentrated on them. Or was that his poker face...?

Nick's eyes shifted to me and he tilted his head questioningly. I shook my head and looked back down at my cards.

He came back in with the drinks and was about to sit down when there was a loud knock on the door. Nick froze and looked up at Jasper.

"Was anyone else coming?" Nick asked Jasper quickly. His voice was tense and lower than usually. Jasper looked at me questioningly.

"No," I whispered, shaking my head, not knowing why they were so stiff all of the sudden.

Jasper got off of the couch with Nick though and they walked over to the door. I could see how the muscles on the back of Nick's neck were tight. It wasn't like it was the police or anything...was it? It could just be Spencer coming over to say hi...?

Maybe. Probably not. Why would he come to me? I thought sadly.

Jasper looked through the peephole in the door and his body froze there.

"What?" Nick demanded in a rough whisper.

"Dad?" he whispered to himself, but it echoed throughout the whole silent room.

Nick relaxed a little, but his eyes widened and he pressed his lips tightly together.

Jasper's dad? What was wrong with Jazz's dad? He never mentioned anything about him... he must have been the one that had left him when he was young. Or was it the one that went to jail? My eyes widened in horror. What if it was the one who was in jail? But then would Jasper be calling him dad?

I stood up and glided over to slip my fingers between Jasper's, still uncertain about what was going on. I just knew he needed support.

Jasper's eyes met mine, but his were full of different emotions. He took a breath and stepped away from the door, unlocking it.

The room stayed in a heavy silence as they opened the front door of the house. As the door was pulled open, a man that looked in his late thirties stood in the doorway. His eyes were a sparking light blue exactly like Jasper's and his hair was cut short, but you could tell it was the exact same shade as Jazz's hair. This was definitely his real dad.

"Hey," he smiled. He had the same southern drawl as Jasper, except his was stronger. Jasper's grip on my hand tightened.

"Hi Dad," he replied with a stiff smile and sad eyes. My heart dropped at that look. I hadn't wanted him to be sad on his birthday. He had been so happy today.

I stroked his thumb with mine, hoping that it would help him at least a bit. Nick stood closely behind us, seeming to be hovering protectively.

"Happy birthday, son," he said happily, holding up an envelope and reaching his arm out to hand it to Jasper. Jasper slowly lifted his hand and took the envelope from his dad.

"Thanks," Jasper murmured politely, opening the door a bit more to invite him inside.

"Hello, Alice," his dad said, opening his arms up as if to offer me a hug. This time it was my turn to grip Jasper's hand. I didn't know this guy and Jasper and Nick were being so tense around him... I didn't know if I should hug him or not.

"Oh, right," his dad chuckled, shaking his head sheepishly. "I'm Davis, Jasper's dad." He reintroduced himself to me with a nice smile.

Now I knew where Jasper got his smile, hair, and eyes.... Wow. The resemblance was insane.

Instead of keeping his arms out, he dropped one and offered me his hand. I could do that.

"Nice to meet you... again," I laughed, shaking his hand softly and then moving closer into Jasper's side.

Davis turned his head to Nick and raised an eyebrow at him. "Skipping school, boy?" he joked, giving him a pointed look. He must not have known that Nick was working on getting his GED now.

"We've got it figured out," Nick assured Davis with a stiff nod. At that moment Chloe crept up and slipped herself under Nick's arm, wrapping one of her arms around his waist. I figured she saw how uncomfortable the boys were, like I had.

"Hi, I'm Chloe," she introduced herself, politely offering her hand with a just as polite smile.

Davis' eyes turned very curious and he gave Chloe a friendly smile, shaking her hand. "It's very nice to meet you, Chloe. I'm Davis."

Chloe just nodded and then looked up at Nick. Jasper took a deep breath in, but other than that the room went deathly silent. I didn't like not knowing what was going on here. It made it things much more awkward.

"So... umm, what are you doing here?" Jasper finally asked in a somewhat hard voice. Okay, that confirmed that they aren't on great terms right now.

Davis's eyes flickered to Jasper and were filled with confusion. Maybe he was as clueless as I was?

His eyes narrowed slowly and he ran a hand over his short hair, looking stressed. I bet if he had long hair he would have ran his hand through it, just like Jazz did when he was stressed.

"Visiting you on your birthday," he explained slowly, his eyes still questioning and looking at Jasper for some answers. "Why? Is something wrong with that?" he asked Jasper, flustered. He put his hands deep in his jean pockets, suddenly uncomfortable.

Nick let out a quiet scoff at Davis's question. Was there something wrong with him being here? I was starting to get frustrated.

"Well... no, I guess not," Jasper mumbled quietly, looking uncertain of himself. He gave a small shrug and looked down at the floor.

The look on his face was breaking me. He looked sadder than I had ever seen him. I reached up and gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek. His head tilted toward me and his lips touched mine for a short second. He was hurting....

"Yes there is something wrong with that," Nick disagreed in an angered voice, letting go of Chloe and walking forward so that he was in front of Jasper and me. "Jasper just won't say it because he doesn't want to disappoint you. There is definitely a freaking problem. You show on his birthday when everything is fine and dandy, but can't even call him, even when you knew Alice had an accident and that Jasper was having trouble?" Nick snapped at him. "That's the problem, Davis."

Oh... that explained it. So Davis had never called Jasper. I squeezed Jasper's hand tightly and looked up at him. I watched his eyes become a bit guarded and frowned. Why was he doing that?

Davis turned to Jasper, looking pained, but uncertain. "Is that what's wrong?" he asked Jasper softly.

"Not really. I'm used to it," Jasper muttered, causing Davis to flinch back in pain.

I wasn't exactly sure what to do in this situation. I didn't know their past. I didn't know what to say... should I say something?

Nick took a breath in through his teeth, looking furious.

"He shouldn't be used to it. He finally thought he was getting a real dad--for the first time--and then you just disappeared. You did him the favour of taking me in and then when I left to come help him through shit you were suddenly gone! You didn't care enough to even pick up a phone and see how school was going, or how Alice was doing, or if he was okay!—"

"--Nick," Jasper said firmly, breaking his composed mask. His eyes flashed with anger and he gave Nick a warning look.

Nick's eyes met Jasper's challengingly. "If you won't tell him how you feel, then I will."

"Sweetheart," Chloe whispered in the background, reaching forward and touching Nick's arm.

Nick's angered expression wavered for a second. He sighed quietly and shook his head, walking away from everyone. He went into the kitchen and Chloe followed on his heels.

Davis was still staring at Jasper, obviously hurt. "Please tell me how you feel?" he begged Jasper, his accent coating his words from the emotion in his voice.

Jasper looked down at me and his jaw muscle flexed. I gave him a soft smile, trying to relax him. I let go of his hand and wrapped my arms around him, hugging him. I was here for him...

"Tell him how you feel, Jazz," I reached up and whispered in his ear. He couldn't hold everything in. It would only hurt him more and I did not want him hurting, ever. Especially not on his birthday. It was his day and if Davis was going to ruin it then I wanted him to leave.

Jasper let out a ragged breath and held me against him, burying his face into my hair. Eventually he found whatever strength he needed and sighed, standing up straight, but keeping me pinned against his chest.

"What Nick said...." he mumbled with a shrug to Davis. "It just hurt when you never called."

I hated how distant and hard Jasper's voice was sounding. I had never heard it that way before. It was so far away from me. It wasn't like the playful, loving voice that I had been hearing all morning. This voice made my heart break. It made tears come to my eyes, emotions overwhelming me. I never wanted to hear him talk like that....

Davis sighed softly and stepped closer to us. "I apologize. I-I'm...." Davis paused to take a deep breath and looked down at the floor. "I'm still learning how to do this, you know? I don't know how to be a dad anymore. I didn't know if I should call... I didn't know if you'd want me to," he explained with a stressed look on his face. His eyebrows were brought together in concentration.

Jasper's chin rested gently on the top of my head and I could feel him breathing deeply.

"I would have appreciated a call," he informed Davis in a softer voice than before.

Davis nodded quickly and tapped his temple. "I'll call from now on. Promise," he said, looking Jasper straight in the eyes. His eyes were gentle and truthful.

"Thanks," Jasper whispered in reply. "And thank you for coming today; it was a nice surprise," he added, and I looked up to see a small smile creep onto his lips. It looked like Jasper was letting it go. Or trying to, at least.

I hugged him tightly. He was always so forgiving and accepting. What more could you ask for in a guy?

"No, thank you, son," Davis said, relieved.

"Don't thank me yet... you still have to get past Nick now," Jasper chuckled, throwing a deviant look at Davis before letting me go and walking back into the living room.

Davis chuckled quietly, but shook his head, following Jasper into the living room. "I'm glad you have a friend like that."

"Me too," Jasper agreed with a nod, his voice still slightly careful when speaking to Davis.

"Me three," I piped up, grinning, and skipping over to join them on the couches. Maybe this day wouldn't be ruined. Maybe with Davis here it would be better. At least I hoped so....

Author's Note: Leave a review. :)