"Anger is like flowing water; there's nothing wrong with it as long as you let it flow. Hate is like stagnant water; anger that you denied yourself the freedom to feel, the freedom to flow; water that you gathered in one place and left to forget. Stagnant water becomes dirty, stinky, disease-ridden, poisonous, deadly; that is your hate. On flowing water travels little paper boats; paper boats of forgiveness. Allow yourself to feel anger, allow your waters to flow, along with all the paper boats of forgiveness. Be human."
C. JoyBell C.
Happiness, hit her like a train on a track
Coming towards her, stuck still no turning back
She hid around corners and she hid under beds
She killed it with kisses and from it she fled
With every bubble she sank with a drink
And washed it away down the kitchen sink
The dog days are over
The dog days are done
The horses are coming
So you better run
Run fast for your mother
run fast for your father
Run for your children for your sisters and brothers
Leave all your love and your longing behind you
Can't carry it with you if you want to survive
The dog days are over
The dog days are done
Can you hear the horses
'Cause here they come
And I never wanted anything from you
Except everything you had
And what was left after that too.
oh.
Happiness hit her like a bullet in the back
Struck from a great height
By someone who should know better than that
The dog days are over
The dog days are gone
Can you hear the horses
'Cause here they come
Run fast for your mother and fast for your father
Run for your children for your sisters and brothers
Leave all your love and your longing behind you
Can't carry it with you if you want to survive
The dog days are over
The dog days are gone
Can you hear the horses
Because here they come
The dog days are over
The dog days are gone
Can you hear the horses
Because here they come
~Dog Days are over~
Florence & the Machine
"Oh, Holy shit!"
Rose shook her head, her hand to her mouth as we both stared at the atrocity that was Renesmee's diaper. "This isn't natural. Or healthy."
"Is it on me?" I asked, my eyes wide and I turned to Rose - my hands shaking. "I feel like it's on me. Is it on me?"
She shook her head. "No. No it's not on you."
I breathed a sigh of relief as I looked down at the ... Shit. Yes, it was literally shit. Big, sloppy, shit.
"How does that come out of someone so small?" I whispered, my eyebrows furrowing as I looked at the unravelled diaper.
And then I started heaving.
Rosalie shook her head frantically. "I can't- I can't deal with thi- Oh, oh."
And before I could even say anything, she was gone - leaving me with Renesmee and the ... Diaper.
It was unlike anything I had ever seen.
It's like the fucking Holocaust in there.
Don't, don't even joke- Oh, god it is.
Renesmee sat on the change table, squirming and I swallowed before I coughed - the scent filling my noise. "I NEED AIR FRESHENER! I NEED AIR FRESHENER!"
And then I saw the air freshener thrown past my head.
I gasped for air as I got it, grabbing the air freshener and I pressed down on it - filling the air with 'freshening'. Renesmee sneezed and usually, I would coo over how sweet and cute that was but when the devil is in her diaper - I just couldn't.
I stood, looking at the diaper face on.
Okay, man up.
Grow some balls.
Okay.
Now I need to get out the wipes,
Oh, I think I'm going to be sick.
Again?
I grabbed the first wipe, hovering it above Renesmee's small little body but I couldn't bring myself to wipe. I just couldn't.
You can do this.
If you can beat your boyfriend with a bat, you can do this.
I'm here for you.
That's good to know.
Just do it.
Just take the leap.
And then I did it.
I wiped.
"Oh, that's a good little poo factory."
It's not that bad as I thought it would be.
And then she peed.
Upwards.
And into my mouth.
Oh.
My.
God.
I spat it out in disgust, screaming as I ran into the bathroom, grabbing the soap and just putting it in my mouth.
That just made it worse.
This is Rock bottom
Having a baby pee in your mouth = Rock Bottom.
"What are you doing! Renesmee's still not changed!"
I shook my head, tasting the bitter taste of soap in my mouth and I shook my head. "I tried, Rose, I did. But she peed. In my mouth."
I looked up to her, shaking my head. "I'm traumatised. For life."
"Well, I'm not changing her diaper."
I narrowed my eyes. "Get Edward to do it - I don't give a flying fuck, Rose!"
She put her hands up, going out of the room. "Sorry."
Standing up, I looked in the mirror.
Vomit was in matted in my hair, bags hung underneath my eyes while I'm pretty sure I was having some pimples break out on my forehead while my lips were cracked and dry. And then a interesting amount of pee was on my top, and soaked through to my bra.
Not my best day.
I went into my room, surprised that I didn't see Jake lying in bed and I went into the bathroom - stripping off all of my clothes, and going under the scorching hot water before I jumped from it, cringing as it burnt my skin. Running a hand through my matted, and knotted hair - I ran the shampoo through it and I sighed, leaning against the wall of the shower as I scrubbed my hair.
Flipping off the water, I wrapped a towel around me as I shuddered - going into my bedroom, as I tried to find something to wear that wasn't dirty of have vomit or saliva on it.
Don't ask about the Saliva.
Apparently baby's have no control over there saliva gland.
Or maybe Renesmee has some kind of Saliva gland condition.
Urgh.
Slipping on some ripped jeans, and a comfortable shirt - I descended the stairs, and I cringed at the feel of my wet hair dripping down my cold skin and I smiled as I saw Renesmee lying on the floor on her, playing with her rattle and the boys were playing the Xbox.
Typical.
I went down to sit next to Renesmee, smiling as she smiled - showing me her full mouth of pearly whites and I smiled, picking her up. "Are you going to apologise, Renesmee?"
"God, she needs a nickname." Emmett said, and I smiled - nodding.
"What, like Ren?"
"What about Nessie?"
Looking to Jacob, shocked that he spoke up or even acknowledged Renesmee, I smiled - nodding as I tightened my hold on Ren- Nessie.
"Like the Loch Ness Monster?" Rose asked, narrowing her eyes. "Nice attempt, mutt."
I shook my head, looking at Ren- Nessie. "I like it."
Esme nodded. "Me too. It's a lot less of a mouthful."
I looked to Jake, smiling yet he didn't respond to it, just ignoring the baby yet again and going to sit with Emmett and Jasper again, resuming there game.
"How's Bella?" I murmured, and Alice sighed.
"It's nearly finished. I can see it much clearer now."
I nodded, smiling. "That's good. Rose, can you take her?"
Rose nodded, and I stood up - straightening out my jeans and I went over to the couch, tapping Jake on the shoulder and he looked up - his eyebrows raised. "Yeah?"
"Lets go outside," I murmured, and he nodded - grabbing my hand as I lead him out onto the porch and we sat down. "How's your arm?"
He looked down at it, stretching his fingers. "It's fine now."
I rolled my eyes. "Sure it is. Carlisle said it would be better if you still had it in the sling."
"Carlisle-"
"-is a doctor, Jake."
He shrugged, and we sat in silence for a moment before I looked up at him - smiling. "You would like her if you spent time with her."
He sighed. "Can we not talk about this again."
I shook my head. "Jake, you treat her like she's the bloody plague. She just a baby."
His jaw locked. "Anna, I've done everything for that baby and I did it for you. I kept her safe."
"I kept her safe," I said, narrowing my eyes as anger sparked in my chest. "I don't want to fight with you. I won't talk about it, okay?"
He smiled, a real smile that wasn't forced nor have any sarcasm intertwined in it, wrapping an arm around me. "Okay."
"Once all this is over," I said, looking up at him. "I want to go to the beach."
Jake looked to me, a smile toying at his lips. "The Beach?"
I nodded. "The beach. And I want to go home."
Jakes eyebrows furrowed. "Home? This is home."
I closed my eyes, shaking my head. "I mean I want to go back home. To my bedroom, to my cat."
His eyebrows furrowed. "You have a cat!"
I nodded. "Frank."
"You named your cat Frank?" He slowly asked, laughing at me and I rolled my eyes.
"Don't make fun of Frank!" I said, and he just laughed at me.
That's what you get for calling your cat Frank.
Shut up.
I rolled my eyes, waiting for Jake to stop laughing and when he did - I turned to him, a small smile on my lips. "I want you to come back with me, Jake. It'll be for a week, or two - it'll be fun."
"You want me to meet your parents?"
I nodded, smiling. "And Frank."
He gave me a soft kiss, and I smiled against his lips. "And Frank."
We sat in silence for a moment before I ran a hand through my hair, looking to Jacob. It was strange, knowing that only a few weeks previous I had hit him with my car before taking him to my to my hotel room where a rather nosy Janitor watched me chase after him.
It had all changed now.
"What do you think they're going to do when she wakes up?" I murmured.
"If she wakes up," Jake muttered, and I raised my eyebrows. "I don't know, Anna. They'll probably move."
I nodded. "If she wakes up,"
"I'm sorry for waking you up, Anna, but she wouldn't stop crying. We didn't know what to do."
I shook my head, swaying lightly with Nessie in my arms and I took the bottle off the counter - sighing as didn't take to it, and I put it back on the counter as she wailed yet again.
"I don't know what's wrong with her," Rose said, panicked as she looked at Nessie, her arms crossed against her chest. "I've tried everything - she just, she won't stop. She won't tell us whats wrong. Even Esme doesn't know what to do."
Looking down at Nessie, I put her down on her blanket - taking off her diaper to find nothing there. Not wet. Not an atrocity like before. I shook my head, putting the diaper back on and I picked a wailing Nessie up, shaking my head as I swayed her in my arms as I closed my exhausted eyes - grabbing her teddy and I squeaked it, but it only increased her crying.
Kill.
Me.
Now.
"Why is she crying?"
Turning, Edward stood at the bottom of the stairs - his dark eyes filling with pain as he looked to the bundle in my arms and I couldn't help but be angry at him. Angry for the fact that he hadn't come down in two days to see his daughter, but when he wants her to shut up - he'll come down and tell us?
What an absolute dick!
"Because she's a baby. That's what they do."
No shit, Sherlock.
He slowly, trepidation in every step, walked over - slow, acting that instead of a baby he was walking towards - it was a ticking bomb. He came about five feet away from me - looking at the crying baby, who was now curious to who the man was. She was peering out of her blanket, her wails echoing through the Cullen mansion.
"Can I, urgh, try?"
I pursed my lips, exhaustion overcoming me as I let Renesmee into her fathers arms. Immediately, she stopped sobbing - her eyes became wide and her mouth opened as her small hand went up to his face, well, his neck and his eyes became unfocused as his mouth opened in shock, his whole face contorting in amazement.
She was showing him everything.
And she had stopped crying.
"What- how-" He said as she took down her arm, falling asleep and I smiled.
"If you had come down earlier, you might have been able to see her. What she's able to do. She can show you things." I smiled, crossing my arms. "She's gifted."
Edward looked down at her, smiling in absolute adoration. "She's perfect."
I nodded. "Yeah. Yeah she is."
Thank you to everyone that reviewed, you guys are brilliant.
I know, I know - short chapter but I've been really sick and this is the best I can do. Also, if there are any new readers to this story - check out the Alchemist Legacy. Aparently it's good according to my reviewers, and I could really do with some more support.
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