After Frank came through the door Vee closed it and took the wine and said while looking at the bottle, "I haven't got a clue what to do with this. But if you'll tell me I'll …"
"Just give me a glass and I'll open the bottle," he said quietly. Too quietly. This was a Frank she didn't know. This too quiet and too careful man. He reminded her too much of a man walking through a mine field."
He followed her into the kitchen, took the glass from her hand and then filled it three quarters full. He took a slow and careful sip and Vee noticed his hand was just barely shaking.
"You … wanna watch a show? Wanna sit on the balcony? The sofa?"
"The sofa," he answered in a gravelly whisper.
She turned but Frank pulled her back against him. She smelled the wine on his breath where he breathed against her neck. She didn't care for it but it had more to do that she was getting a little scared … not of Frank but for him.
"Frank?"
He didn't answer for a moment then he said, "This is hard."
Trying to understand she asked, "Which this? The situation with your kids? Work? Um … me?"
Frank finally started moving again. When they got to the sofa Vee tried to give him some room but he pulled her next to him with the arm he'd captured her with while continuing to hold the glass of wine with his other hand and sip from it. Vee just waited.
The glass of wine was almost completely gone before Frank spoke again. "I don't want to be alone. I don't want to be alone anymore."
"You aren't. Unless you're saying that …"
"Don't put words in my mouth Vee. Don't do what she did. Just … just give me a minute."
Vee shut up, unsure and confused what she was supposed to do or say, or not do or not say.
"I don't want to be alone. But …" Frank stopped and cleared his throat. "But I'd rather be alone than go through what I went through with Melissa. I also don't want to be Melissa."
"Huh?"
"She's left her family in a fix. She's left our kids in a fix. It's a mess that will never go away. We're divorced but she's still managed to leave me in a fix just like the rest of them. I'm never going to be totally free of her. And I don't want to make the mistakes she has. I don't give a damn how that makes me sound." He paused and then said, "I need to explain a few things to you."
"Okay."
"As part of the divorce decree Melissa got the kids, her car, the house and most of the furnishings, the damn cat, and she got half of my retirement. That's the way that shit works. I busted my ass and she took most of it. The only two things I really got to keep was my boat and my sanity, and I came close to losing both of those. At the time … at the time I thought I could rebuild, but it hasn't happened. The economy has been a bitch and things just haven't moved the way I expected them to. It shouldn't have been this hard. The only other thing besides child support that I had to pay, that and keeping the kids on my health insurance, was that I had to maintain a life insurance policy on Melissa until Shelly turns eighteen. We already had a joint one that I'd gotten through my work benefits and the judge accepted it as covering that provision of the decree. I should have gotten her a separate one but the divorce was expensive and no one considered the potential for it turning into a problem. It is a damn good policy, they don't even offer it anymore. One of the provisions is … is long term disability care. It's the only thing that is going to get the treatment that Melissa needs … the long term treatment." Frank paused, gathering his thoughts. "It will probably reach the policy limits because her treatment is going to be expensive. That means that … that I … essentially I … I'm going to be up shit creek if anything happens to me and there will be nothing left over when I die. At best if something happens I can hope to qualify for disability and early retirement but not much more than that." He sighed. "On top of that I've also got three kids to help get through college. I've got pre-paid college plans for them from the state of Florida but that only works if they go to a Florida university. Frankie wants to go to …"
"To Texas."
"Yeah. My parents have a … an in-law suite; my grandmother used to live there. They've said he can live in the suite while he goes to school so long as he helps them out when they need it and his grades stay good and he doesn't screw around. You think I'm hard … my ol' man is twice as bad even with some age on him. There will be no screwing around as far as he is concerned. He's not unreasonable just … anyway, so some of Frankie's living expenses would be covered but tuition is still going to be a bitch and I don't want him leaving school buried in debt. He wants a degree in Sports Medicine. I want to help him have a chance to get it."
"Of course you do," Vee said. "You're his father."
"The girls both want to go to school here in-state but that could change in a heartbeat. They've got options but even if they do stay in-state where tuition and books will be covered they'll have other expenses. And in the not too distant future all three of them are going to be in college at the same time making things even more challenging. And I'm not getting any younger and I've got a job that … that sometimes you don't come home from. It means I don't have a whole lot to offer as far as financial security beyond a weekly paycheck … my retirement, I might be able to rebuild it, I might not … and maybe I won't get the chance. You understand what I'm telling you?"
Giving it the serious consideration his question deserved Vee finally answered, "Yeah. You're a responsible man … a responsible father … you're realistic and worried but willing to work on the problems you're facing."
After a moment … and another few sips from another glass of wine Frank let his head fall back, "Oh girl, I have got to get me some of those crazy glasses you're wearing. How in the hell do you see that out of what I just told you?"
Vee shrugged. "I know you. I know we aren't promised tomorrow so we make the best of what we're given today. I know there are possibilities and responsibilities. And I know anything worth having is worth working for. And I know I need to talk to you about stuff that happened today but I don't know how and I don't know if it is going to make things between us better or worse."
Frank sighed feeling the next on-coming crisis get closer. "Better start at the beginning."
# # # # # # # # # #
Frank was still absorbing the fact that maybe he wouldn't have to worry about leaving her high and dry after all. He wasn't ready to discuss that aspect with Vee yet but it was definitely running through his head.
Unaware that she'd said even more than she thought she had Vee told Frank, "And there you have it. Basically Ryan said he can't make the decisions for me. He trusts me to be smart. I want to make the decisions but not without your input because … because … because I see a future but it's one we haven't talked about and one that I don't even know ... if you …"
There was a huge backfire out in the parking lot and Vee jumped. And just like that she was fighting to wrestled the control of her mind back from the memories of the explosion. She could hear it and smell it … even taste the acrid smoke on the back of her throat and feel the heat against her skin, the shrapnel that had torn her back all to pieces.
She won the battle but it came at a cost … or so she thought. Frank had never seen her like this. He'd gotten some wine into her to try and relax her when she had tensed up so much and started to shake but it didn't stop the shame that Vee felt. She hadn't done this in months. She got up off the sofa; wanted to run. Frank had other ideas. He pulled her into his arms and then sat them both back down on the sofa. "That was a bad one," he muttered while he wiped the cold sweat off of her face.
"Yeah. I can't ask you to … not on top of all … never mind just never …"
Frank turned her face to his and kissed her. "Was it the muffler backfiring? Seeing your old whatever they hell he was … that Spicoli guy? Or is being with me stressing you out?"
Vee looked at him. "The muffler set me off but I've heard backfire before without this happening. It was probably Spicoli and revisiting all that crap."
Hesitantly Frank asked, hoping she'd answer the way he wanted, "Do you want to go back to work in the field?"
"Sometimes I think I do but it was more about the team environment. I realized today that I must have not been that important to any of them if they could forget about me the way they did. So … no … if I'm being realistic I'll never work as a contractor again. I'm too much of a liability … and I don't know if I could trust another team as much as you need to be able to in those types of places."
With relief he struggled not to show he asked her, "What about the marina? You upset about it closing?"
"Yeah … but I suppose being told I was no longer needed was inevitable. I was low man on the totem pole and Syd's wife let slip that they needed to cut staff. I think she was trying to prepare me." Then she finally said, "And then there is the Trust. I only have until the end of the month to do what I need to do or taxes will eat up most of it. And there still might be some tax issues if I sell my stock … and I'm leaning that direction because … because I want to stay here and that money will make that possible. I also want to stay with you. But … Frank? Am I imagining things? Tell me I'm not. Tell me … tell me I have a chance. I don't want to be alone either but … it has to be with someone that I trust. There has to be a chance at … at reciprocity. Ryan and Tony don't count. I know that sounds awful but for this they don't."
"And you trust me?" Frank asked, hating himself for needing to hear it so often.
"Right from the beginning. I know you can't believe me but there was just something … you're … you're solid, like an anchor in a storm, and Ryan trusts you and not just because it's a work thing and he has to. But here's the thing, I'm not … I'm not classy … not like Melissa was, not like you're used to."
"What?" Frank asked, the comment coming completely out of left field.
"Classy. I was at your Condo, remember? You play at being a Texas cowboy and in part you are … but that's not all you are. I … I'm not that Frank. I've been told I clean up half-way decent but, it takes a whole lot of scrubbing and I still usually wind up with mud on my clothes before the night is out."
"Sweetheart, don't make more of that than there is. Most of that stuff came from before the divorce … when I still had the money to live that kind of life. Sure, I try and show the kids a good time when we're together but that doesn't happen as often as I'd like it to. And will happen even less now … I've got a car payment and keeping up with the boat expenses … the boat may have to go."
"No."
"What?" Frank asked, surprised at Vee's sharp tone.
"I said no. You're not giving up your boat. I know how much it means to you. We'll buy a house that has it's own dock. And I'm a freaking mechanic for pete's sake," she slurred. "We don't need no stinking mechanic bills … boat or car."
"Vee? Sweetheart?"
"Huh?"
Frank realized that the wine he'd given to Vee had gone straight to her head. She'd warned him that she reacted funny to alcohol on occasion.
"You need some coffee," he told her.
"No," she said with a definite pout. "We need to work on this. I need to know if you want me to stay or … or if … or if … of if …" She couldn't finish the sentence. It was like her brain was having hiccups.
"You're mine," he whispered into her wine drenched mouth struggling not to give into the chuckle that threatened to fall out. Damn she was a cute little thing when she was tipsy.
"I'm yours," she agreed, kissing him enthusiastically right back, more than willing to be distracted.
"No more being alone."
"For either of us," she agreed.
"We do however have decisions to make woman."
"After we swing from the trees?" she begged hopefully.
Frank's mood slowly finished brightening and then he grinned. "Hell yes."